What I Learned on My Summer Vacation 2010 Part 2

Tom Shrader examines the famous love chapter in 1 Corinthians 13, walking through Paul's definition of love as patient, kind, not jealous, and not boastful. He emphasizes that love is not optional for Christians but essential for real service, challenging listeners to examine their own hearts and relationships. Shrader concludes that love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things, even when people take advantage.

“Love bears whatever is otherwise intolerable, it believes what is otherwise unbelievable, it hopes in what is otherwise hopeless, it endures when anything less than love would give up.”

— Tom Shrader

Series: What I Learned on My Summer Vacation

Recorded: September 02, 2010

Duration: 42 min

Themes: love, patience, kindness, service, relationships, character, endurance, heart, struggling with relationships, examining motives, serving others, married couples, new believer, feeling taken advantage of, parent, mentor

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13, 1 John 4:9, Ephesians 5, Galatians 5:22, Matthew 20:28, 1 John 3:18, Philippians 1, Ephesians 4:32

Theological Themes: agape love, christian love, biblical love, sanctification, spiritual growth, christian character, godly love, spiritual maturity

Full Transcript

Open your Bibles, would you? Here's what we're going to do. I will tell you up front, this lesson absolutely stunk yesterday. It was so bad. I don't know what was going on. It's as bad as I've ever been. I was distracted. I don't have an explanation. Do you ever have that? I assume you have that in your life. Some days you go to work and it just doesn't work. But nobody knows it but you. Everybody that was there yesterday knows that I just stunk. So I hope I'm trying to make it up today.

We did not get a tape last week, so I'm going to do a little bit of a summary and then we've got to go kind of quickly. Let me tell you what we're going to start next week. It's a series called A Legacy and Leaving a Legacy. I did it five or six years ago. It is a wonderful series. It covers everybody. If you're a young person trying to figure out career or trying to figure out legacy, I spent a ton of time about this. Maybe it's just where I am in my life. But it's kind of two or three big crossroads in life. I think about legacy not in terms of what is my legacy but how do you protect the legacy. This is big. So we're going to talk about that starting next week.

The Foundation: God's Love for Us

You've opened your Bibles to 1 Corinthians chapter 13. Let me set this up quickly. This is about love. This is part three. Again, we'll only have two parts recorded. But this is part three of what I relearned on my summer vacation. We said that when you get at everything, the ingredient when you boil all of this stuff down, the ingredient that kind of stops in the middle is love.

We defined love or looked at three aspects. This is what tees up everything. First is God's love for us. God has this love for us. How do we know it? 1 John 4:9. "This is love. Not that we love Him but He loved us." And He manifested love. He sent His Son. So the ultimate picture of love is Christ.

Our Response: Loving God

Here's the second thing. Is our love for God, for Christ, for the Spirit. That we love Him. But the Scripture is really clear. We love Him for one reason. What is it? Because He first loved us. That's really important. You are naturally people push back at this and I get it and if you want to push back at it do it with somebody else but I don't want to talk about it. But people are naturally God haters. So much so do they hate the one true God is they'll create their own God to worship. So they'll use phrases like "my God would never send somebody to hell. My God would never..." I'm fine with that. That's your God. And I like even your verbiage. You describe your God but the God of the Bible, that's the God we want to know.

What the Bible says is there's this point in time in many people's life, not every person's life, where the Holy Spirit invades their hearts, opens their eyes, allows them to see the Gospel and see the truth. That probably represents the majority of people in this room. You understand you're a sinner. You understand that there's one solution for that and that's Jesus. And you come to Him in repentance and faith.

The Gospel, Not Just Ethics

There was an article in the Washington Post two days ago. Did you see it? The president talking about his Christian faith. If you dissect the article and I'm not picking on this guy, he's got bigger problems than that. I'm not picking on that. But he articulated the idea of Jesus dying for our sin. But he did it in very much an ethical way. I would have loved, and I don't see it happening, but I would have loved to have been able to sit down and say tell me what the Gospel is. And tell me how it applies.

What he rightly pointed out, Grudem did a great job of it the other night, is we, and Grudem was talking about driving along the other day and seeing a mosque and he was talking about his mixed emotions. His emotions were this. One, his absolute joy that he lives in a country where that can happen. And I believe we need to rejoice in that. His sorrow is that here's a mosque and the people in it are believing a false religion. But we want to make sure we're defending religious freedoms.

Religious Freedom and Truth

This is me, again you may not agree with it. If a valedictorian gets up and they want to talk about God and Christ in their life, I'm for that. If a Buddhist wants to get up and do the same thing, I'm fine with that. Whatever. We're in the marketplace of ideas. It doesn't matter. Here's what's important. We live in a pluralistic society which means we defend the rights of all of these religions to exist. That is not an endorsement that they're all equal. There's one different. There's one true.

So the President's talking yesterday about defending religious rights. Absolutely. Grudem hit heavy on that. I pushed him a little bit, but he hit heavy on that the other night. But we also need to understand this context of Christianity. It's not an ethic. It's not helping one another. It's not living a better life. Those are all byproducts of a true converted heart. Got it? It doesn't matter at this point if you agree with it, just so you understand what I said. If you don't agree with it, that's okay too. It's okay and I defend your right to be wrong. I'm fine with it. I'm comfortable on that.

Love: The Central Ingredient

The key ingredient in that whole mix is love. He loved us. We love Him. We love Him. This is why your heart should be filled with thanksgiving and grace and praise. We love Him because He first loved us. Not because you on your own were clever enough to figure this out. Then Jesus takes that one step further. He says, if you really love me, the way the world's going to know that you're my disciple is if you love one another. When you get at this, love is in the key of all of it.

We looked last time and I made these four points. Let me make them real quick. Love is not optional. It's a command. Paul says in Ephesians 5 to walk in love. It's obvious. It should be part of every Christian's life.

It is Galatians 5:22. It is a fruit of or the byproduct of the Holy Spirit living in our life. Ultimately, it's going to be essential for real service.

We turn to 1 Corinthians 13. This is where we left off. I'm not going to go through verses 1 through 3, but in verses 1 through 3 what Paul is saying is if you don't have love, really not much else matters. He speaks a little bit of hyperbole here. He talks about big gifts. They've been talking about gifts in 1 Corinthians 12. He said if I've got all these, if I give everything away, if I give up my body but I don't have love, I have nothing.

Now what that means or what that does for me is to say okay, what is love? You live in a world and a time that defines it in so many ways. It is so confused. We use it in a variety of ways.

The Confusion of Love in Our Culture

Susan and I were watching—I was gone this weekend so she taped the Iowa game. What a great way to watch games. The greatest invention of all time in terms of doing what it says it will do is TiVo. It is the greatest invention in the history of mankind. It's bigger than the printing press. It's bigger than anything. It's the greatest invention in the history of mankind. I mean that. I don't think there's anything, maybe penicillin, but there's nothing else. There's nothing that compares to TiVo.

So we're watching and I just said, I just love the Hawks a ton. I've got a feeling it's going to be a disappointing year. Next year's going to be brutal, I'm afraid. That aside, they've got some shots and then an interview. Last night they were doing something with Kirk Ferentz on. He's banned one of his kids from speaking to the media. They're talking about twittering and stuff and he's just not into it. And I said to Susan, I love Kirk. And she said, well that's interesting. It's been a while since you said that to me. And I said that's not true because last week during the football game I said I love Kirk. I say it to you all the time.

So I just love Kirk Ferentz. I have a man crush on Kirk Ferentz. I just think he is everything that's right about football. Sports, athletics, life. Well we use that term a little loosely. And then somebody gave me yesterday way more than you want. But somebody gave me yesterday a case of Boston baked beans. I like Boston baked beans. A lot of people don't like that. So it's 24 boxes. So I emptied them into a bowl and ate all 24 boxes last night. This is not good. This is not good. I text the person at 3:30 this morning and said this is not good. I ate all 24 boxes. They were small boxes. I ate all 24 boxes last night. I love Boston baked beans.

That's not what we're getting at. Here's the thing. Love. What does love mean?

God's Definition of Love

Here's the definition that God gives us. It's in 1 Corinthians chapter 13, verses 4, 5, 6, and 7, and what Paul does is identify 15 characteristics. He states 7 of them positively, 8 of them negatively. So what I want to do is take the next half hour and just work our way through these. And ask the question—you have to do self-examination here—do I have love?

Here's the first thing: love is patient. Love is patient. Now the word specifically means patient with people. When you talk about that word agape, there's this idea of selflessness. Its primary concern is for others' welfare, not itself. It's much more willing to be taken advantage of than to take advantage. Much less to avenge—love does not retaliate. There's a patience. Some of your translations may say love is long-suffering.

It's patient with people. Now I think it's patient with circumstances too. I think it's that combination, but the word specifically here deals with people. Because we're in this process of loving, not circumstances, not Boston baked beans, not Kirk Ferentz or the Hawkeyes. We're in this process of loving people.

Patience in Practice

And let's get this really down. The people in your life. You right now get together the contact list, not of associates, not of people that are far away. The people that are in your world, your sphere of influence. It's being patient with them. It's long-suffering with them.

John tells us in 1 John 3:18, "Little children, let us not love in word or tongue, but in deed and in truth." It's active. It's not abstract or passive. It's not a feeling. It's something that's living.

Love Is Kind

So it takes you right to your second one. Love is kind. It means to be useful, gracious. It's the counterpart of patience. It's now the activity of that. It's pleasant to people. I wrote this down: my love should be visible. I should be able to see it. I should be able to point to it.

And resist what we typically do, which is this kind of big action of love. I'm going to go build a home for the homeless. I'm down with that, but it doesn't do you any good with that if you're at home arguing with your spouse. Many, many, many people will demonstrate more—and we're talking about just kindness. Let me give it to you again: graciousness, courtesy. Will demonstrate much more courtesy to the server at the good egg than they will to their spouse at the dinner table.

I mean, haven't you either said that or thought that about people in your house? You'd never do that in public. You'd never do that if others were here. I ought to be able to see this first, right smack in the home.

Love Is Not Jealous

Here's the third thing. Love is not jealous. Jealous means to have a strong desire, and it works in twofold. It's to have something, to want something you have, or to wish you didn't have it. So we get the idea of jealousy. Paul talks about it in Philippians chapter 1, that there are people who are preaching a gospel, they're preaching it out of strife, and they're preaching

The Dark Side of Jealousy

We can think of jealousy as "I want what you have." In a sense, pride and jealousy - that's what moved Eve in the garden. She wanted to be like God. Well, there's a flip side of jealousy. It's the other side, and I would say it's even a darker side. It doesn't say, "I want what you have." It says, "I just don't want you to have it." It's not that I want it. I just don't want you to get it.

We had a saying at Coal Banker - maybe I did - but there was that kind of perverse idea that the next best thing to making a deal was seeing someone else lose one. It's not because it's going to benefit me. If you've got a deal and it doesn't close, I don't get the deal. I just don't want you to have it.

More Wicked Than You Imagined, More Loved Than You Dreamed

I was at a men's conference for Scottsdale Bible Church last weekend. It was a little bit more sobering than maybe some conferences, but I was really trying in my section - I had a very little part - to drive home this truth: to just see how bad you are. So here's the line: You're more wicked than you ever imagined, more loved than you ever dreamed. However bad you think you are, you're worse. And if you give me five minutes, I'll prove it to you. We can call a few witnesses if you want, but I don't need them. We'll just probe into your heart.

But you're more wicked than you ever imagined. But the counterpart of that that's really important is more loved than you ever dreamed. Let me say what you all have heard 50 billion times: As a Christian, you can't do anything to make God love you more or anything to make God love you less. That's huge. So don't perform for Him.

The Trap of Performance-Based Love

If you're just going through this to make Him happy and to try to get Him to love you, because that's what you have to do, right? Let's be honest. In a lot of our relationships: I'll love you if, I'll love you when. Maybe some of you - we're going back now decades - when you were a kid, your dad would love you if you hit the home run. You're at the plate. Bases loaded. Two outs. Bottom of the ninth. Three and two count. And you take a called third strike. He doesn't talk all the way home.

You stroke a ball in the gap. Three runs score. You win the game. You're a big hero. Takes you out. Buys you ice cream. Talks to his friends. Well, all of a sudden, you learn to perform just like a pet monkey. And now you're all in performance. So now you come in and you go, "I'm going to love you if." "I love you because." But those things change.

So when somebody says, essentially, "We've grown apart, we've fallen out of love," what they're saying is, "I had this certain level of expectations. I married you not out of choice to love you, but based on these things, and you're not doing them anymore." We've grown apart. What's it mean? We're not performing anymore.

God's Unchanging Love

Well, that's never going to happen with God. God's never going to wake up someday - I don't know if God sleeps, but it's a whole different thing - but God's never going to wake up someday and go, "Oh, my golly. I didn't know that about you, Tom. You're screwed. You're out." He's never going to say that. He's never going to get information about me He doesn't already know. We may debate His decision to love me. You may go, "Well, that was a bad decision." But regardless, He made it.

Love Does Not Brag

Our jealousy is so desperate. Here you go. And now we go into the negatives. It does not brag. It's the only time the word's used in the New Testament. It's the other side of jealousy. Jealousy is "I want what you have." "You've got something. I don't want you to have it." Bragging says, "I want you to see this. I'll puff my resume. I'll go ahead, and I will attempt to generate in you jealousy. I'm going to brag because I want you to want what I have, to envy."

I want to walk into the Christmas party in just a few months and have everybody go, "My golly, she's here. Look at that dress. Look at that hair. Look at that car." So we'll even develop a whole lifestyle. We define debt this way: an opportunity to pretend to be something you really aren't. So you can buy a really fancy, nice car that you really aren't a Mercedes caliber person, but you'll lease one, go in hog for one, so people will think you're a Mercedes person, when in fact you're not. You're a Kia person. I'm wrong. You're a used Kia person. Doesn't matter. You get the point.

And what is really true is we hate this when we see it in others. There's like one thing everybody hates universally, and that's a blowhard. Somebody needs to go, "I can't stand that." Well, you can't stand it because you want to be the center of attention. I hate it too.

Love Is Not Arrogant

Here's the next thing. Love is not arrogant. It means overbearing, haughty. Napoleon once proclaimed, "I am not a man like any other." So here's all of mankind, Napoleon's saying, and then there's me. It's proud. It becomes arrogant.

So obviously the flip side of that - it doesn't take much to figure this out - the flip side of that is humility. It's when John the Baptist says, "Okay, there's another coming, and here's the key thing about this guy. I'm not even worthy to tie His sandals" - it's Jesus. In fact, "We're in this relationship," John says, "and here's what's going to happen. He needs to increase and I need to decrease." I would put love and humility kind of in that same game. That if you don't have those, I think you become ineffective.

Love Does Not Act Unbecomingly

Here's the next thing. It doesn't act unbecomingly. That's really simple. That's just rude. William Barclay says, "Love is much more than gracious and considerate, but it's never less than that." It happened to me again. It happened to me again the other day. I do not understand - I will never in my entire life understand this. I'm standing, it was when Susan took me to the grocery store to show me how to grocery...

I broke away from my wife at the bookstore and said, "I want to go down this aisle here. This looks interesting." She said, "OK, well, catch me over here." I'm standing there looking at cereals, looking for a certain kind of cereal. The grocery aisles are far wider than the aisles at the bookstore. There's something else I learned about grocery stores—in the tiling where they put the grout, they do that regularly and shortly because it slows your cart down. It makes you go slower. I'm learning a lot about grocery stores and the psychology of grocery stores.

I'm standing there, and this lady walks right between me and what I'm looking at. She doesn't say a word. I can't fathom that. How can you not say "excuse me," "pardon me," "can I help you"—anything? That's just rude. Is that a little thing? Sure, it's a little thing. It's the little things that matter. We do pretty well at the big things. If I'm laying there bleeding, she'd probably dial 911 or call somebody. But anybody will do that. How can you not say "excuse me?"

The Key to Everything

Here's the key. If you mark in your Bible, circle this in verse 5. This is the linchpin of it all. This is the summary of everything: **Love does not seek its own.** I at least want to understand your agenda—not necessarily that it becomes my agenda, but at least it becomes something that I can support you in that agenda. It's not "what about me, what about me, what about me, what about me, what about me."

Love is not stubborn or inflexible. It doesn't insist on everybody making an adjustment to you. Jesus said it this way in Matthew 20:28: "The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve." It's sacrificial, self-giving, selfless love, concerned about the welfare of others, not just your own rights.

The Danger of Rights Over Responsibilities

In 1946, John F. Kennedy wrote in his diary—I'm sure he would regret this, but he wrote this: "Mr. Roosevelt," speaking of Franklin Roosevelt, "has contributed to the end of capitalism in our country. Although he would probably argue the point at length, he has done this not through laws which he sponsored or passed through his presidency, but rather through the emphasis he puts on rights over responsibilities."

Think about this. Franklin Roosevelt, democratic icon of democratic icons. If all I'm doing is demanding my rights, my rights, my rights, my rights, my rights—it's not about you. I get those times when Paul's before Felix, making his argument, and Paul's before different governing authorities. Finally, he says, "Wait a minute, I'm going to declare my right as a Roman citizen." I get those times. But it's not about you, your rights, your responsibilities. It doesn't matter if you're first in the line or second in the line. It's not about you and a declaration of your rights.

Pretty soon, you breed—and this is where we are as a nation, I think—pretty soon you have 310 or 320 or 330 million special interest groups all saying, "What about me?" That's the whole plan.

Love Is Not Provoked

Love is not provoked. It's not aroused to anger. I do this every summer—every summer when it's time for my summer break, I always say, "I'm going to get into poetry." I don't know why poetry. And I never do it. I'll read like—I picked up the Iliad and the Odyssey this summer, and I'm starting, and I'm thinking, "This is way too much work. I'm going to watch Jeopardy or Bewitched or something."

But there's one poet that I understand, and that's my old friend Larry Wright. Larry's poems, I get. Here's a poem that Larry wrote about the idea of self-seeking, selfish, not aroused, not provoked:

"How easy it is to be loving, to be kind, tender-hearted each day. I'm so lovely, I'm so wonderfully easy to live with when everything's going my way. When things are going my way, I'm as sweet as sweetness can be. I can't understand as hard as I try why others aren't caring like me. Be careful that you don't upset me, don't cross me or cause me dismay, or I won't love you the way that I do when things are going my way."

Now I get that. I understand that. I don't need a book to explain it.

What he said, it's just beautiful. That's Larry. I mean, I think maybe other than Sue, I probably had a better relationship and knew Larry as well as anybody on the planet, and Larry is the most humble man I was ever around. But Larry had his limits and his moments. His aggravation point would be your aggravation point when it isn't going my way.

Love Does Not Keep Score

Love does not take into account a wrong suffered. It's a bookkeeping term, which means to record, to calculate, to figure. Now get this—really important—to enter a permanent record into a ledger. That's really good if you're dealing with the IRS. That's not helpful if you're dealing in relationships.

So it's the old adage you've all heard: when my wife and I fight, she doesn't get hysterical, she gets historical. So she goes, "Back in 1977"—now this is a gal who can't remember a Bible verse—"Back in 1977, you remember? No, yes you do. Jimmy Carter was president, you were sitting in that green chair, you were wearing those blue pants with that ugly yellow shirt. I hate that ugly yellow shirt. Remember the ugly yellow shirt you had? Not really, it said University of Michigan. It was ugly, remember it?"

So He said, "I know, I know. I just thought I'd throw you a bone." "But you remember that? Remember those pants? I threw them away two or three times and you took them right out of the garbage and you wore me out, you remember that? And the ball, there was a ball game on. The Red Sox were on, they were playing the Orioles. I remember, it was the bottom of the ninth, there were two outs and Brooks Robinson was hitting and you said—" Well, okay, I don't know. I mean, that's like five lifetimes ago. You don't keep score, you let it go.

Love Does Not Rejoice in Unrighteousness

Here you go. Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness. It doesn't take satisfaction in sin—not just your commission of sin but talking about others' sins. John MacArthur writes, "One of the most common forms of rejoicing in sin is gossip. Gossip would do little harm if it didn't have so many eager listeners." This is a sin that Christians take lightly. It's wicked not only because it's uncaring and reveals the weakness and sins of others and therefore really hurts them, but because at the heart of gossip is rejoicing in evil.

I watch it. It makes me puke to watch this in the church, in the body of Christ. "Did you hear about her and her and Him? This over here and that over there. I don't even—" And then the worst thing is when somebody says, "Okay, we should be praying for Bill because he's really struggling." It's none of your business what Bill's struggling with.

I'll tell you another thing. This happens to me. Somebody will come up to me and they'll say, "I probably shouldn't be telling you this." Now depending on what the person is—because they may come up and tell me something and it may have something to do with "You may not know this about Susan, you may not know this, you need to deal with"—but if it's somebody I don't know and they come up and they say to me, "I probably shouldn't be telling you this," I'll say, "Stop. Don't tell me. If you shouldn't be telling me, don't tell me. I don't want to hear this. I don't care."

I'm sick of it. I don't care if that person does this or they go over there or you saw him there. It's none of my business. It's none of your business. You either go to them and fix it or shut up. That's destructive. That's absolutely destructive to people's reputations, to people's lives. We love to traffic in this stuff. We love to take people and knock them down. We love to take people and rip them apart. You see it in homeowner associations. You see it at golf clubs. You see it in companies. You see it in every human organization. The most sickening thing is you see it at church, and it just shouldn't be. It's rejoicing in somebody else's sin. If you're not part of the solution, get the heck out of the way.

Love Rejoices in Truth

We start to flip it around. So love doesn't rejoice in unrighteousness, but love rejoices in truth—biblical truth, God's truth. Love rejoices in the idea of "Here's what the scripture says" so I can enjoy it, so God can bless me and strengthen my heart and open my eyes, but so it can transform my life.

I am flat dead against Bible study for the sake of Bible study. If it's not transforming your life, if it's only making you smarter, it will ultimately puff you up. It'll make you arrogant and you will become a liability rather than an asset to the body of Christ.

Four Characteristics of Love's Action

I want to hammer verse 7, and when I say hammer it, I thought of a bunch of ways to present it because I love this. In my research over my time on First Corinthians 13—and this probably started 15 years ago—John MacArthur writes a little section on each of these four and He had this summary. Let me just see if this ties it together.

So we had what love is—it's patient and kind and all those things it isn't—and then four things: love bears all things (you see it there in verse 7), believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. We're talking about love in relationships with others.

First of all, it bears all things. I'm just going to read you what MacArthur writes: "The word bear basically means to cover or to support and therefore to protect. Love bears all things by protecting others from exposure, ridicule, or harm. Genuine love doesn't gossip or listen to gossip. Even when a sin is certain, love tries to correct it in the best way with the least possible hurt and harm to guilty people. Love never protects sin, but it's anxious to protect the sinner." It bears all things. It understands that people—it's not about exposing, it's about protecting.

That really comes over when you start talking about love believes all things. Again MacArthur writes, "In addition to bearing all things, love also believes all things. Love is not—"

suspicious or cynical when it throws its mantle over a wrong, it also believes in the best outcome for the one who's done them wrong—that that wrong will be confessed and forgiven and the loved one is restored to righteousness. Love believes all things in another way: if there's doubt about a person's guilt or motivation, it always opts for the most favorable possibility.

Now does that remotely sound like you? Love hopes all things. MacArthur writes, "Even when belief in loved ones' goodness or repentance is shattered, love still hopes. When it runs out of faith, it holds on to hope. As long as God's grace is operative in humans, failure is never final." God would not take Israel's failure as final. Jesus wouldn't take Peter's failure as final. Paul would not take the Corinthians' failure as final. There's more than enough promises in the Bible to make love hopeful.

When Failure Isn't Final

I would add to this: Paul didn't take John Mark's failure as final. That's my favorite story. When Paul is on his second missionary journey, Barnabas says, "Let's take Mark." Paul says, "We're not taking Mark. He backed out on the first one. He didn't get it done. That guy's a loser." At the end of his life, in almost the very last communication we have from the Apostle Paul, he writes to Timothy, "Come to me quickly and pick up Mark, for he is useful for service." Failure wasn't final.

I don't know—I'm not judging anybody. I screw up regularly. I have failures at different levels on a regular basis. Timmy's gone to see his grandpa and Sarah's home, so she swings by last night. She's got Brooklyn who's now eight or nine months, Reagan who's two and a half and has a little fever, and then all of a sudden driving over, Sarah goes, "Oh my gosh, she's got some spots." And then Gracie in the middle—we talked about Gracie last week—so she's got to deal with Gracie and the autism in the middle and what all of that means and how that plays itself out. Timmy's gone; he's been gone for two or three days. He comes back tonight.

One of her goals—and this is just vintage Sarah; I wouldn't do this in a million years—is to paint one of the rooms while he's gone. That just seems like too much. So I honor her last night, honor in the sense that I said, "You know, I'm going home and take a nap here pretty quick, and I'm doing really well." So last night at 8:16, I sent her a text: "Honey, I know you're really busy. I'm constantly praying for you. I'm so proud of you. Gracie seemed excited tonight. She seems to be reacting pretty well. I pray five or six times a day for her. I love you." And then I signed it YDICJ.

That started when she was a little girl. She sent me a note signed that way, and I didn't know what it meant. It was "Your Daughter in Christ Jesus." So I sent mine back, "Your Dad in Christ Jesus." So I just sent her a note. It's interesting because my kids call me Tom. I don't know why; I've always really liked that. If you talk to them, they'll go, "Thomas, you know this or that," except at certain moments. At certain moments we'll get into a different tone, and this is the text I got back: "Thanks Daddy, that's so sweet. We really need it."

It's understanding that there's hope in that. I was saying, you know, I had a chance to really edify her when she swung by and honked the horn, and I didn't. But it wasn't failure fatal because I had a chance to text and make up. You see what I'm saying? You're just blowing it all the time. You're constantly screwing up. That's okay—you're human. But you don't have to be stuck there. You're not married to that situation where you're just stuck in failure. Don't let it defeat you.

Love Endures All Things

Can I give you the last one real quickly? Love endures all things. It's a military term. It means holding a vital position at all costs. Every hardship, every suffering was to be endured in order to hold fast. Love holds fast to those it loves. It endures all things at all costs. It stands against overwhelming opposition and refuses to stop bearing or believing or hoping. Love will not stop loving.

Here's a summary paragraph: Love bears what otherwise is intolerable. It believes what is otherwise unbelievable. It hopes in what is otherwise hopeless. It endures when anything less than love would give up. After love bears, it believes. After it believes, it hopes. After it hopes, it endures. And there's no after endurance, for endurance is the unending climax of love.

Isn't that really good? Now that's how human relationships are supposed to be. That's what it means to be a lover.

Living This Way in Daily Life

Again, you can go out and do all these big things. We always get in these big deals. Do them. I'm talking about this is the way you respond to your kids or your grandkids or the people in the office. Your barista. If you're in an office, here's the measure: This is the way you respond to the receptionist. The lowest person on your org chart. Bottom of the totem pole that everybody dumps on. This is the way you're to live.

Now, if you live this way, will people take advantage of you and screw you? Yes. But they're going to anyway. You might as well at least do it with dignity. Get screwed with dignity. That's my new motto, I think, now that I think about it. It just is. It doesn't matter. It isn't going to make a lick of difference—except that you're going to have a deeper relationship with your Savior, and He's going to use you in unbelievable ways that you can't possibly predict.

Because when people get a steady diet of that from you, well, some will just run right over you. Some are going to be crushed. And God's going to use you to show real love and now His love to them. Because you're ultimately going to get to a point when people are going to go, "That doesn't seem right. That's not how everybody else reacts. That's not what you used to do. How can you do that?" And you say, "You know..."

What? It just isn't me. It's Christ in me. It's Ephesians 4:32. How can I possibly come at you when I understand how much He's forgiven me? I can't be bitter at you when I understand how much He's forgiven me.

That's great stuff. That's a great conclusion, and hopefully tied together our last three weeks. So next week, we'll start a new series dealing with this idea of legacy.

Let's pray. Father, thank You for this day in time. God, let us be lovers, this kind of love. Love in a way that brings honor and glory to You. God, You loved us. Now we love You. And Father, now we love one another. Will You do that work in our life? We ask it in Christ's name, amen.