Survival When You Want to Get Even
Tom Shrader concludes a six-week series on Joseph's life, focusing on the reunion with his brothers and the famous declaration that 'you meant it for evil against me, but God meant it for good.' He teaches that God often does extraordinary things through ordinary circumstances, calling believers to master the mundane and trust in God's sovereignty through life's cycles.
“We're more sinful than we ever imagined and more loved than we ever dreamed.”
— Tom Shrader
Series: Survival Through the Cycles of Life
Recorded: 2013
Duration: 39 min
Themes: wisdom, discernment, sovereignty, suffering, faithfulness, leadership, purpose, forgiveness, facing difficult circumstances, career transitions, workplace challenges, family conflict, seeking meaning, leadership roles, older adults, feeling betrayed
Scripture: Genesis 41, Genesis 42:1-3, Genesis 45:1, Genesis 50:20, Romans 5:6, Romans 5:8, Romans 5:10, Romans 12
Theological Themes: providence, gods sovereignty, biblical leadership, spiritual maturity, divine purpose, gods plan, christian worldview, sanctification
Full Transcript
Genesis 41 - Survival Through the Cycles of Life
If you have Bibles, why don't you open them to Genesis 41, and we're at the end of that chapter. This is the final week, so week six of a six-session series. It's a study in the life of Joseph. We are at the end of our examination of Joseph, which is in a series titled Survival Through the Cycles of Life.
Joseph is the classic biblical study of penthouse, outhouse, penthouse, outhouse, outhouse, outhouse, outhouse, and then the big penthouse. He is a favorite son of Jacob. Jacob gives him a coat of many colors. His brothers hate him. They sell him into slavery, and that's going to come full circle today.
He's in the household of Potiphar. Potiphar's wife falsely accuses him of having advances toward her. He's then thrown into the prison. In each of these cases, we're told a couple of really important things. One, in chapter 39, the Lord was with Joseph, and so we have to be careful. Our circumstances may not look like it, but God is with us. If we know Christ as our Lord and Savior, we don't have to wonder about that.
In each of these cases, his owner took all that he had and put it under Joseph's care. He said, if Joseph is running this, I don't have anything else to worry about.
The Power of Wisdom and Discernment
When we left off last week, Pharaoh had had a dream, and Joseph interpreted it. The dream interpretation was, you're going to have seven years of prosperity, followed by seven years of famine. Joseph's recommendation in chapter 41, verse 33, is you need to find a discerning and wise man and send him over all of Egypt.
We made a point last week, and it's a point we made three weeks in a row, that your greatest asset in the marketplace, in your relationships, in anything, is your Christian faith. I was on Roku, and I ended up in something called King's Lectures. So they were lectures from professors at Yale and Dallas Theological Seminary. One of the guys from Yale was talking about understanding man, anthropology. But essentially, the only way you're going to understand man is to understand this book.
That's the asset that you have in a marketplace. With ever-expanding knowledge, but ever easily accessible knowledge, wisdom, discernment. Pharaoh asked what I think your boss asked, or you as a boss should ask, or people should ask. Pharaoh said, all right, I want one of these wise, discerning guys, where do I find one of those?
That's sitting in this room. There is a vast amount of wealth and wisdom sitting in this room. A day goes by, and I mean that literally, that I don't have a conversation with somebody who's 50 or older, who's somewhere in their career where they can either stop or slow down, who's saying, in essence, I'm looking for something meaningful to do.
I can't imagine the size of the army of men and women that are in that category, how you mobilize them and energize them, that I don't know. But I know this, it's out there, and it's ready. People are ready to say, hey, this is what we're looking for. We're looking for this wisdom.
We met at his request with Mayor Chandler three or four years ago. He came in, and he had a big, thick, three-ring binder on what they needed to do at Chandler. This is recommendation from his staff. So this is not some Christian thing. He said, I just wanted to go to this part. They said, we have this giant need in the city. We think part of the answer are the churches. They have a volunteer base. They have a sense of volunteerism, a sense of community.
Anyway, I think the world's starting to see it. Whether they get there and embrace it, that part, I don't know.
Joseph's Rise to Power
Pharaoh then takes Joseph in chapter 42. Pharaoh says, I'm going to put you in a position of second of authority in the whole world. Second by virtue of position, but even I am only going to listen to and do what you say.
Well, this famine comes about. That's where we are. Chapter 42, verse 1. Now Jacob saw that there was grain in Egypt. Jacob said to his sons, "Why are you staring at one another?" They're out of food and they're sitting there looking at each other, apparently at a loss, overwhelmed, dumbfounded. Sounds like a U of A faculty meeting, but looking at things nonetheless.
Then he said, "Behold, I've heard that there is grain in Egypt. So go down there, buy some for us from that place so that we may live." The 10 brothers, Genesis 42, 3, went to buy grain. Jacob didn't send Joseph's brother, Benjamin. He said, I've already lost one. This is my new favorite. I'm going to keep him here. I'm afraid they'll do harm.
The Brothers Come to Egypt
So the sons of Israel came to buy grain among those who were coming, for the famine was in the land of Canaan. Now, Joseph was the ruler over the land and he was the one who sold to all the people. Joseph's brothers came and bowed down to him and their faces are bowed to the ground.
When Joseph saw his brothers, he recognized them, but he disguised himself to them and spoke to them harshly. "Where do you come from?" They said the land of Canaan. Joseph recognized his brothers, although they didn't recognize him. Joseph remembered the dream.
Now we got three or four or five dreams going in this story, but this is back to the dream that Joseph had when he saw that his brothers would bow down to him and his father would bow down to him.
God Works in Ordinary Circumstances
Joseph is having a very ordinary day. Joseph is doing what Joseph does. They come, nothing special. If he takes his phone and he scans his app and he looks, everything says normal day. And in they come.
My point to you is God oftentimes, I don't know if this is right, it's right for me, does extraordinary things in very ordinary circumstances. If you look back at some of the big monumental moments, and by that I don't necessarily mean a graduation or something like that. I mean moments where God used you in
somebody's life or in a situation. Most often it doesn't appear on your calendar. Most often it's just, here you go, happenstance, circumstance. But we need to slug it out. The phrase that I use is we need to master the mundane. We need to find beauty in the mundane.
The Daily Grind of Motherhood
By way of illustration, I think of stay-at-home moms in this scenario. I watch my girls. Sarah has four girls—seven, six, four, and almost two. Haley has two boys, nine and seven, and two girls, four and almost three. I see them especially with the little ones, and I see how time-consuming it is. Not just being with them, being on them, being alert for them, but just being sensitive to their presence.
I was last night walking and I got down to the end of the street and I looked down the cul-de-sac and Yale was out there. Tyler has a square on the driveway and the boys take the tennis ball and practice pitching. So I hear this bang and I look down and there's Yale pitching. I'm at the end of the street, and I yell down, "Hey buddy." Then I wave and he waves and I said, "Come on down and let's play catch." So we're down there playing catch. It didn't occur to me that he neglected to say goodbye to his mom. All of a sudden in about five minutes I'm hearing, "Yale, Yale, where are you, Yale?" The vigilance it takes to watch them.
One of the things that I like is having somebody recognize what you're doing is either important or they're grateful for it. I love to hear thank you. I love it. I don't like "have a good day," "have a good one," "no problem." Obviously it's no problem—you just gave me a twelve cent cup of coffee for five bucks. How could it be a problem?
The Thankless Nature of Motherhood
Well, as a mom you never get—you never change a diaper and have that kid pop up and go "thanks." My experience has been with them, and I'm not with them for this much, is I'll get one taken care of and as soon as I do I hear over my shoulder and now I'm back over there. It's back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. I know from watching Susan do it that this is a brutal job all day long. "Talk to me. I need an adult."
What you have to have, and it's the key not just in that but it's the key in life, is you have to pursue delayed gratification. You have to be able to see the end of this. It's like somebody in two-a-days. Why are you out there doing two-a-days and you're grunting and groaning and then when you're done with those you're in the gym lifting? Well, because there's something about game day. There's something about coming through the tunnel. There's something about hearing that fight song. I go through this because there's something bigger and it's mastering the practice.
The Power of Practice
I watched an interview with John Wooden the other day, which I do a lot, and they were asking him what his strengths were. Then they asked him, and I've never heard this before, what were your weaknesses. He said, "I just wasn't a very good game coach. I wasn't real X's and O's. My strength was practice." Practice was organized and it was purposeful, and when that whistle blew everybody knew where to go. It's the mastering of the mundane.
It's knowing every encounter may be something that God's going to use in your life to strengthen you, encourage you, and touch somebody else. Joseph's just doing this. They're just coming through and he recognizes them but they don't recognize him. Joseph all of a sudden remembered these dreams and he says to them, "You're spies. You've come to look us out and to see the undefended part of our lands."
I said, "No no no no no, we're just here to buy food." Joseph ends up throwing them in prison.
Recognition and Context
Now they don't recognize him probably because he's changed at 22 years. He's probably clean-shaven, and if anything else it's out of context. I'm walking through the mall and this lady comes up to me and says, "You don't know my name do you?" No, I don't feel like I even want to. But it was somebody from a study that I just—I'd recognize them sitting in here but I don't recognize them out of context. These boys were not thinking "I'm going to see Joseph today."
But look at this huge practical lesson again. They're in prison—it's chapter 42 verse 21—and they said to one another, "Truly we are guilty concerning our brother." And then they tell us something we didn't know. "We saw the distress of his soul when he pleaded with us yet we wouldn't listen. Therefore this distress has come upon us."
The Weight of Unresolved Guilt
They reflect back—there's no connection that they can think of. They didn't recognize Joseph. They reflect back 22 years and this thing must have been gnawing away and gnawing away and gnawing away at them. They said, "Remember that? Remember what that was like?" They're carrying around this huge amount of guilt.
Let me take a little rabbit trail here for about five minutes and talk about guilt and what you can do with guilt. I was raised Catholic—grade school, high school, college—and my friends tell me that we were influenced by the guilt that was dumped upon us. I never felt that, which is the sign of a sociopath probably, but I never felt that. But they said no, there was a lot of guilt. Well I've had a lot of guilt in my life, and you know where we're going. I've had a lot of guilt mostly because I am guilty.
Four Options for Dealing with Guilt
So what do you do when you encounter guilt? You've got four options. Number one, you can deny it. That's the rich young ruler. He comes to Jesus. "What must I do to inherit eternal life?" "Keep the commandments." "I've done all that." "Sell everything. Give it to the poor. Follow me." And he said, "Nah, I'm going to walk away." It's the classic example of denial. It's the Pharisees. I am guilty but I deny it.
Here's the second thing. You can admit your guilt and despair. I am guilty and it's overwhelming to me.
How about Judas? I don't know that this is exactly right, but what Judas did and what Peter did are really very similar. They both essentially deny and betray Christ. But Judas is filled with despair. What's going to save me? There is no hope. You're overwhelmed with the circumstance around you. It's not that you don't see the guilt. It's that you see that guilt everywhere.
I think it's the saddest moment I've ever had in one of these studies. I was teaching on a Tuesday morning out in Mesa and there was a guy that came in. Normally I can go, "Oh, these are the normal people in the normal seats that they sit in." I'd never seen this guy before. I haven't seen him since. He hung around when it was over and we were talking. There were a bunch of one-offs and he just sat there. When everybody left, he came up and he said, "I'm Bob," and I said, "I'm Tom." He said, "I've never been here before." I said, "How'd you get here?" He said, "Oh, somebody told me about it."
Then he started crying. I would guess he was mid-thirties. Started crying, and now it's that heaving crying. Tears are pouring down and his sin is just popping out of him. "Here's what I did and here's what I did and here's what I did." I'm going, "Wow, I thought about that but didn't have the guts to do it. That's pretty amazing." We're going through the whole thing and we're down to the end. I said, "Well, you know, I don't know..." Now I'm hugging him. I don't know what to do to try to give him some comfort.
He said, "Let me give you this," and then he told me something and it was really, really sinful. He said, "Here's my problem. God could never forgive me." I tried to encourage him and say, "You can't out-sin God's grace" and all those things that we know. He walked out and I never saw him again. It was that admission of guilt but there was despair about it.
The Third Response: Moral Realignment
Here's the third thing you can do with guilt. I think this is the one that's most common. You admit that there's guilt and you try to fix it. The phrase that I use is moral realignment. I'm going to do better.
I'll see people every once in a while and they'll say, "I haven't been to your thing in a while." Well, I know what they mean. If it's not your thing and I don't get paid by the head, so it doesn't necessarily matter to me. Then they'll list all these things that have gotten in the way and "I need to do better. I need to clean up my own act. I need to get my act together. I need to start doing..." and then they'll list these things that they perceive as good.
In essence, what they're doing is panic. What we're really talking about at this point is religion. "I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do this, and I'm going to stop that. I'm not going to do that. I'll be a better dad, I'll be a better husband, I'll be a better wife. I'll love God more."
The Right Response to Guilt
Well, all three of those, though common, are the wrong answer to the question of what you do with guilt. Here's the answer: admit that you're guilty and turn to Christ. The natural thing is religion. The counterintuitive thing is the relationship with Christ. It is to know, as the song says, "Jesus did it all. Jesus paid it all." There's nothing I can do.
You feel guilty because you are guilty. And that guilt is so big. The wage of that sin is death. So in Romans 5:6, 5:8, 5:10 is that repetitive theme. While we were helpless, while we were sinners, while we were enemies of God, at just the right time, Christ died for us. It's so hard to get your arms around this. You mean there's nothing I can do? No. Jesus did it. You owe a debt that's beyond your ability to pay. That's why Christ died.
The Central Event
I was in a staff meeting yesterday and all the conversation is getting ready for Good Friday and Easter. I mean, that sounds so weird. Only the pitchers and catchers. We haven't had first spring training game yet. And we're already doing Easter and Good Friday. Those are big days because in our calendar, that's the central event.
Never separate it. Whenever we talk about Good Friday or the crucifixion, we talk about the resurrection. We love Christmas. Certainly in the culture, the trappings of that are ubiquitous. But Christmas is nothing more—I say nothing more—but it's Jesus coming into the world and we can never separate Christmas from Easter. The resurrection. Christ rose from the dead.
I gave, I think, 23 Easter Sunday messages. Some of them four or five times each year, but 23 times over 23 years, I gave an Easter message. They all boil down to the same thing. Jesus Christ rose from the dead. As you get more and more into it, and the more you look at it, the more you study it in an objective way, the evidence is overwhelming. The facts.
So my message over 23 years on Easter became this: Christ rose from the dead. And that is really a big deal. I mean, that's a big deal. If He rose from the dead, nobody else has done this. What does it tell us? What does it say about Him? What does it say about the Scripture? It says that you are who the Bible says you are. And Jesus is who He said He was.
More Sinful, More Loved
Rather than be overwhelmed by this guilt and filled with despair, we come to this amazing truth. It should become more real to us every day. And that is, we're more sinful than we ever imagined and more loved than we ever dreamed.
I'm teaching a class this last week on the doctrines of grace. That God chose us before the foundations of the earth. That He loved us. That He died for us. When you begin to absorb that—I'm not saying it's every day—but there should at least be this inaugural moment where you're overwhelmed by that truth. I got an email from a couple that had been bringing their 90-year-old
The Power of God's Unconditional Love
There's this 90-year-old father who came to Bible studies with his son. They thought he wouldn't want to come because he had classically rejected certain doctrines, but he came anyway. One Sunday morning after breakfast following one of these studies, this 90-year-old man began to cry. He's had a lot of crying lately.
They couldn't get him quieted down, and after they got him rested, he suddenly said, "I think God let me live this long so I could understand how much He loved me. In this unconditional way. He loves me in spite of me, not because of me."
I went through a similar process about three years ago when I met Sandy and we started to talk and get to know each other. Very quickly, I fell in love with her because she was really lovable. She's attractive, smart, kind, and gentle. She can go into the marketplace and kill it. She can be with three-year-olds. She can teach older women on Monday, college women on Wednesday, and three-year-olds on Thursday and navigate her way through it all. I love her not in spite of her, but because of her. God loves you in spite of you.
Joseph's Brothers Confronted by Guilt
Here's the guilt that Joseph's brothers feel. Think about it now - they've been carrying this around for 22 years. That's what guilt does.
In chapter 45, Joseph reveals himself to his brothers. Verse 1: "Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him, and he cried out, 'Make everyone go out from me.' So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. And he wept aloud, and the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard it. Then Joseph said to his brothers, 'I am Joseph; does my father still live?' But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed at his presence."
Some translations say "troubled." They're overwhelmed at this moment. Joseph said to them, "Come near to me," and they came near. "I am your brother Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life."
When You Have the Chance for Revenge
Twenty-two years later, they're confronted with this reality, and they are rightly afraid because they know how they would feel. Remember, here's what today's about: somebody has dealt you wrong. There's no question about it. You're in a position to get even. What do you do?
As you know, most people don't get mad - they get even. The brothers are anticipating that something's going to happen at this moment. There's an expectation that Joseph will respond like they would respond. Like they've had 22 years of guilt, Joseph has potentially had 22 years of bitterness that's built up in him. And now there's a chance. They're bowing down to Him. They know the position He's in.
God's Sovereign Purpose in Suffering
Turn to the very end of the book of Genesis, chapter 50. In there is a summation of Joseph's attitude. It's Genesis 50, verse 20, and your Bible should be underlined, marked, yellowed. It probably already is. If you have an iPhone or iPad you're working on, you should highlight it somewhere.
Here's Joseph's conclusion of all the circumstances in his life, and it's true of yours too. He says to his brothers: "But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive." All those things that happen in your life - it may be that people are trying to do you dirty, but God either causes it or allows it for this reason: for your good and His glory.
Dave Dravecky's Story: Cancer as an Answer to Prayer
I don't know if you remember the name Dave Dravecky. Dave Dravecky was a pitcher with the Giants. He's pitching, he's got an arm problem. They go through surgery and rehab. He comes back, and this is his return to the mound. He's pitching, and I heard a conversation with a guy who was playing either second or short on this day. Dravecky winds up, lets the pitch go. The guy said it was like a shotgun exploded on the pitcher's mound, and his arm just snaps.
They get him in and begin to do the work, and they realize there's cancer, and they have to amputate the arm. It's a great story, and then God comes along and uses it in a marvelous way. I remember all the people were talking about how this is horrific, this is terrible. That's your immediate reaction to something like that, and I get it. Mine too.
But what I taught, using this illustration, was that in a way it was an answer to prayer. Because I know Dave Dravecky had been saying, "God, use me. Use me." Then one night I turn on TV, and there's Dravecky with Barbara Walters, with an opportunity to share his testimony to millions and millions of people. So I think that cancer and amputation was an answer to prayer.
That sounds really cold. Then one day I had a chance to sit down with Dravecky. I said, "Hey, I want to run something by you because I've been teaching this, but I've never really cleared it with you." He said, "What is it?" I told him the story. He said, "That's exactly right. We were praying, 'God, use us. What would this baseball platform be? How could You use us more? How could we represent You?' And God said, 'Really? I want to make sure now. You want to be used, right?' 'Yeah.' 'All right. I'm going to need that left arm.'"
We Don't Know What's Good or Bad for Us
See, that's how God is. God works in our life, and we look at things. So I make this statement, and let's make sure we define it: We don't even know what things are good or bad for us. Now, we may know morally - if you're thinking today about embezzling, that's wrong. But along comes the report back from the doctor that says it's cancer, and you go, "Oh, that's horrific." We gather around, and we pray for healing. I know this sounds terrible, but it may be that God is going to use the cancer for something bigger than the healing.
"God, relieve this burden. Bring back this kid. Put together this marriage." Whatever it is, when in fact God said, "No, that's the very thing that I'm going to use as a tool to allow you to let your light shine before men in such a way that they see your good works and..."
glorify Me. So, fundamental principle there is to remember God is sovereign, and He's at work in your life, and He either causes or allows everything.
Five Principles for Navigating Life's Cycles
So here are five things that are a summary of today in the series. Number one, be careful how you use authority. I watch certain guys, I'll say men and women, who run for office, and I get the feeling they don't want to serve. They just want that office. Guys or gals that want to be the boss, not because of servant leadership to enhance the organization, they don't want to be the boss. Be careful how you use authority.
Here's the second thing. This is huge. Master the mundane. God has an agenda. Some of the most significant moments in my life have never shown up on my calendar. And if they do, it's in kind of an insignificant way, where somebody says, hey, can you meet next Tuesday? I don't have an agenda. Well, this is going to be a boring meeting if you don't have an agenda.
You must have an agenda, because you asked me, not Him, to meet, so you must want something, whatever it is, if it's just to talk. So, in that, if we're going to master the mundane, here's an operative word: availability. So, I need to be available. Can't be available to everybody. Every need is not a calling. But I have to try to discern when somebody says, can you help me, is that God doing that maybe?
The Discipline of Memory
Here's the third thing. This is huge. Be selective in what you remember. Remembering is important. We do it every Sunday at church. Do this in remembrance of me. But for Joseph to sit in prison for 22 years and just stew and relive and get bitter and bitter and bitter, I have a little phrase that I used about five years ago, and I used it in my own life. It was, don't let your mind go there.
You can't stop your mind from seeing things or remembering things, but don't let them go and dwell there. And whatever that might be. It might be an experience. It might be a temptation. It's to get control of your mind. It's the discipline of it. It's to know that I'm beginning to think this way, and I just stop it.
Pursuing Peace in Relationships
Number four, reconstruct broken relationships. Now, the minute you write that, you're going, geez, I don't think I want to do this. I'll give you an out. Romans 12, Paul says, as far as it depends upon you, live at peace with one another.
Now, once you've reached the age that essentially most of you in the room are here, somebody's dealt you dirty. Somebody you said, I love you, and they said, I love you, and so in the safety of that relationship, you said and did things, and there was an intimacy and a depth that you never thought you'd have with a person. It's a great thing. But now they say, well, I don't love you anymore. Or somebody that said, hey, come in here, into the company, work with me five years, and then it became 10 and then 50, and this will all be yours, and now it's time, and they say, no, I don't think so.
And relationships are part of it. I have two or three relationships that over the years have just been broken apart. One is the most painful for me. The last time I was with this guy, it didn't go well, and I think of him when I read Reconstruct Broken Relationships. This is the name, the face that pops into my mind, and I don't think I can do that, but I'm comfortable that I've given it a shot. To not reconstruct those is going to be a curse on you, not them.
Embracing Suffering for God's Purpose
And then the last thing is suffer or be willing to suffer for the greater good. You don't need to go create these situations to suffer. It'll come to you. I had a friend who said, I used to tell my kids no just so they'd get used to hearing no, even for no reason at all, and I always thought that was kind of stupid. I found reasons every day to say no. I didn't need to make them up.
You don't need to go out and say, I'm going to find these situations and suffer. I'm just saying as they come into your life, physical, relational, economic, business, whatever they are, is to find the good that God will use in the midst of that. To understand that He either caused it or allowed it. Then He'll use it in an amazing way.
Some of the greatest stories you've ever heard or the greatest witnesses in your life have been time of extraordinary pain where people have seen you persevere and you say, it's not me, it's God in me. And it opens those doors for conversation.
So that's six weeks on the life of Joseph. It's a snapshot, it's a flyover, but huge practical illustration. A reminder that we can not only survive, but thrive through those cycles of life.