Right Living in the Church
Tom Shrader concludes his series in 2 Thessalonians by working through chapter 3, where Paul commands the church to withdraw from those who refuse to work and live in disorderly ways. Shrader unpacks the principle that those who will not work should not eat, tracing its roots to Paul's own example of tireless labor among the Thessalonians and distinguishing it from cases of genuine inability. He then connects this to a broader teaching on church discipline, explaining that its purpose is not punishment but restoration — to bring an unrepentant believer to a place of shame and, ultimately, repentance.
“Because we have peace with God through the Lord Jesus Christ, we can have the peace of God in our life.”
— Tom Shrader
Series: 2 Thessalonians
Recorded: 2000 at East Valley Bible Church
Duration: 37 min
Themes: church discipline, laziness, work ethic, restoration, accountability, community, repentance, brotherly love, struggling with laziness, avoiding accountability, church member, small group leader, young adult, new believer, navigating conflict, feeling unrepentant
Scripture: 2 Thessalonians 3:6-18, 1 Corinthians 4, 1 Corinthians 9:4-11, 1 Corinthians 11, 1 Corinthians 5:9-13, Genesis 2, Matthew 18, Galatians 2
Theological Themes: ecclesiology, church order, sanctification, biblical authority, restorative discipline, pauline ethics, church membership, means of grace
Full Transcript
Right Living in the Church
When one author talks about 2 Thessalonians as a stormy book, he means that in the first chapter Paul talks about the firing of vengeance with which the Lord will return in eternal destruction, and in the second chapter Paul talks about the man of sin, the man who opposes God, the anti-Christ, and how God will deal with him. Chapter 3, the passage we are looking at today, is the longest single section in either 1st or 2nd Thessalonians dealing with one specific topic. Paul is dealing with laziness, being a busybody, and those who will not work. Yet in the midst of this, Paul is continually reminding them — and us as well — that we are brothers. Twenty-seven times he reminds them that we are from the same origin.
The Command to Withdraw from Unruly Brothers
Here we go — 2 Thessalonians chapter 3, verse 6: "Now we command you, brethren." Paul used the word "command" — it means an order handed down from a superior officer. This is not a suggestion, this is not optional behavior, this is an imperative. There is a certain sternness to it, but it is coupled with the word "brethren." We command you, but we remind you there is a tenderness here: you are our brothers.
Paul also makes clear these are not his own ideas. He says, I am going to give you some imperatives here, but they are not my thinking — we did not get a focus group together and say, well, let us try this. This is in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. The command is this: "keep aloof" — literally, to keep withdrawn, to have nothing to do with, to leave alone — "every brother who leads an unruly life and not according to the tradition which you have received from us."
The word "unruly" means disorderly or out of rank. When Paul says to have nothing to do with a brother who is involved in an unruly life and does not follow the tradition, he does not mean customs — he means the teaching, the teaching we find in Scripture. Paul will come back in a moment to talk about the specific problem he is addressing, so let us continue, because while he is clearly concerned about the behavior of the people, he is equally concerned about the heart of the leader.
Following the Example of Paul
Here is what he says: "For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example." The word translated "ought" can also be translated "must." You must follow our example. That word "follow" literally means to walk in the same footsteps. The command is to have nothing to do with those who are unruly, but before getting there, Paul says — and he notes they already know this themselves — that they must follow his example.
I remember the first time I read these words from the apostle, I thought this was pretty strong. Imagine someone saying, as Paul says in 1 Corinthians 4, "Be an imitator of me." That is strong, is it not? My friend Larry Wright and his wife Sue frequently lead marriage conferences, and at some point Larry will always make this point: Sue and I will never, never, never, never get divorced. He often makes that point right before a break, and I will hear people over coffee saying, "Man, that is pretty strong, I cannot believe he said that."
But that sounds strikingly similar to what you said when you got married and said, "To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live." That sounds an awful lot like, "I will never get divorced." I have stood right here and said as part of the ceremony, "Do you understand these promises we are making are unconditional promises for a lifetime?" And yet people are surprised by the strength of it. I had the same reaction when I first read Paul's words — just do what I do, walk in my footsteps.
Aspiring to a Life Worth Imitating
There is a sense in which all of us, as we grow in our faith, ought to be making the same kind of statement. Paul does qualify it in 1 Corinthians 11, where he says, "Be an imitator of me as I follow Christ." He is not charting out new territory — all he is doing is following what Christ would have him do. There ought to be in your life a desire to live in such a way that those around you can follow you as you follow Christ, that you live in such a way that those around you can retrace your steps as you follow Him.
We talk about this regularly: you should aspire to be an elder-qualified man or woman. We understand that we would never have a woman serve as an elder — we believe that position is reserved for men, and that is probably a whole other area of study.
Living a Qualified Life
We ought to live in such a way, whether we are male or female, to qualify ourselves to be elders. We may never aspire to that office, we may never receive that office, but we live in such a way that our lives line up with what God says a life ought to be for a person who is following Christ.
Paul fills in all the gaps for us. He said, "For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example, because we did not act in an undisciplined manner among you." There were people around who lived in an unworthy, unruly way, but Paul and his companions did not live that way.
He then tells us specifically what he means. "We did not eat anybody's bread without paying for it, but we labored in hardship. We kept working night and day so that we might not be a burden to you." The idea is that they worked in a tireless, endless fashion — to the point of exhaustion.
The Right to Support
Paul is clear that this was not because he and his companions lacked the right to ask for support. He said they had every right to ask the church to support them, but they chose not to, in order to offer themselves as an example to follow. He said they didn't just preach to them — they lived it in front of them.
Some people have heard this passage and concluded that Paul is teaching the church should never pay those in ministry. But what we find later is that Paul accepted money from the church at Philippi and thanked them for it. He was also supported by other churches — just not this one.
The reason, I think, is that Paul was going out on a missionary effort into an area that had never heard the gospel. These were pagan people, and he did not want his receiving payment to become an obstacle. He didn't want people to think they were just in it for the money.
The Skeptic in the Marketplace
I lead a study during the week called Priority Living, and it meets out in the marketplace. On Thursday mornings we meet in a bar up in North Scottsdale. People will come to Priority Living who will not come to a church, and they are an interesting group of people to be around because they are very suspicious.
When you are so close to everything that goes on inside the church, you can forget what it is like to come in as someone who is a little skeptical. One of the presuppositions these people bring is that everyone doing this kind of thing is in it for the money. They will come to Priority Living and quickly notice that we do not take a collection there.
When you get with them one on one, it is not at all unusual for them to ask how you make a living or who pays for all of this. They keep waiting. In fact, the phrase they will often use is, "I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop." They figure that after being involved for a while, you are going to hit them hard for the cash. I think that same mindset is what Paul was navigating in Thessalonica.
Paul's Established Right
Lest anyone think Paul was saying in any way that he did not deserve support, he makes it clear in his letter to the church at Corinth. Reading from the New Living Translation, 1 Corinthians 9:4: "Don't we have a right to live in your homes and share your meals? Don't we have a right to bring a Christian wife along with us, as other disciples, the Lord's brother and Peter do? Or is it just Paul and Barnabas and I who have to work to support ourselves? What soldier has to pay his own expenses? And have you not heard of a farmer who harvests his crop and doesn't eat some of it? What shepherd takes care of a flock of sheep and isn't allowed to drink the milk?"
Paul goes on to say this is not merely a human idea — it is what God said. He quotes from the Law of Moses: "Don't keep the ox from eating its grain." And then he asks, "Was He not speaking of us? Of course He was. Just as farm workers who plow the fields and thresh the grain expect to share in the harvest, so farm workers should be paid by those they serve."
Paul then sets that aside and says he does not claim that right with this church. He states in 1 Corinthians 9:11, "We have planted good spiritual seed among you. Is it too much to ask in return for food and clothing?" Paul is not making a principle here that must be applied across the board to all ministry. He is making a specific point to this specific church — that they had every right to be supported, but they chose not to claim it.
The Order That Was Given
Verse 10 sets up the very reason Paul wants to address this group so directly. This connects back to what he said earlier about having nothing to do with those who do not follow the traditions. What exactly were these people doing? Here it is, in 1 Thessalonians 3:10: "For even when we were with you, we used to give you this order: if anyone will not work, neither let him eat."
Paul says that when he was with them, the order he gave was plain — if anyone will not work, that person should not eat. We need to be very clear about what this does and does not say. It does not say if a person cannot work. People can be in situations where they are simply unable to work physically, and Paul is not saying those people should be penalized or cut off. He is also not referring to situations where there is no work available.
What he is addressing is a person who chooses not to work — who refuses to work. The principle is straightforward: if you refuse to work, you will not eat. This is so important to understand clearly, because we often hear the claim that work is part of the curse.
Work, Idleness, and the Church
Adam sinned, and there is the curse, and part of the curse is work. We see Adam assigned work back in Genesis chapter 2, before the fall. Work is good. You were designed to work. You are supposed to work. In fact, this whole concept of retirement, we don't find anywhere, really, in Scripture. There may come a point in time when you decide you are no longer going to work for a salary, but you never cease to work. Easy hands, happy hands. You were designed to work.
Paul is dealing with a specific issue in the Thessalonian church. There had been people who could work but wouldn't work. Some were influenced by Greek culture, which looked down on manual labor. But most of the problem he is dealing with involves a group of Christians who believed Jesus was coming again at any minute, and consequently decided they were not going to work because Christ was coming.
Discernment and Generosity in the Local Church
This issue comes up at the church regularly. We are visited by people who want us to help them. They'll come in, usually in the middle of the week, usually with a story, needing help from us. Almost always, it's a scam. They'll come in needing twenty dollars for a tank of gas, and we'll give them a coupon that gets them five gallons, and you can see the hurt on their face.
We had a lady in not long ago with a compelling story. She was well-dressed, sharp, and said she was up against it and didn't know where to turn. She said she was driving by, saw the church, and knew the church is a place where people get help. She said she was working, that wasn't the problem, but there had been an issue with the home office and the computer, and so checks hadn't come in. There was a bill due in the next couple of days, and a check was supposed to arrive in a week. It was a very compelling story. They were ready to move to help her, but someone made a phone call to her employer, and they had never heard of her — no check coming.
Almost always when people come in, it is a scam. They assume that if they come into a church, nobody will be sharp enough to check things out. But what Paul is talking about here is not strangers. He is talking about people within the church. He is saying that if someone will not work, then don't feed them. Don't bail them out.
A Hard Command That Demands Careful Understanding
This is harsh, and it gets complicated, because it is never just a single person — there is always a spouse and kids. Does that mean let the kids go hungry? I don't know how else to read it: if anyone will not work, let him not eat. If I go and assist this person, I am running contrary to what the Lord has to say.
We need to make sure we understand what we are not saying. We are not saying that if people are hurting, you don't help them. Obviously you help them. There are many people in this church who have been the recipients of help from us, where we stood in the gap — they had a need, we came alongside, we met that need. Our tendency is to help and to say yes.
But Paul is saying that if you have somebody who will not work — someone who is able, where jobs exist, and they simply refuse — then don't feed them.
Busybodies and the Command to Settle Down
Verse 11 gets to the heart of it: "We hear that some among you are leading an undisciplined life and doing no work at all." Not only are they not working, but they are acting like busybodies. That term is actually a play on words in the original language. They are busy with other people's business. They are not working, though they should be and could be, but they are busy in everybody else's lives.
In this specific instance, they are literally going door to door to spread false teaching and to cause pandemonium in other people's lives. They are lazy, refusing to work, and yet deeply involved in other people's affairs. Paul says, this is what we hear — and now he commands them directly.
Verse 12: "Now such persons we command and exhort in the Lord Jesus to work in a quiet fashion and eat their own bread." In the New Living Translation it reads: "In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we appeal to such people — no, we command you — settle down and get to work. Earn your living."
A Word to Men About Providing for Their Families
Let me speak specifically here. Gentlemen, it is your responsibility, clearly from Scripture, to provide for your family. You need to work, and you need to work hard. If that means two or three jobs because, for instance, you went and got a Ph.D. in Anthropology and English Literature and you don't like to teach and you don't like to write, then here is all you need to remember: paper or plastic — because that is your future. And you chose that future. No one else put you there. You chose it. Gentlemen, it is your responsibility to take care of your family, to be busy, to be working, to be working diligently.
Someone once asked Martin Luther: if you knew that Christ was coming tomorrow, what would you do? Luther answered, "Plant a tree." On the surface you think, that seems strange. But what he is saying is this: if I am a gardener, I would plant a tree, because the implication is that I would be doing already what I would do as though Christ were coming. He would simply be going about his faithful, ordinary work.
Right Living Until He Returns
If I thought Jesus was coming back today at one o'clock, I would be standing here right now at noon doing exactly this, because this is what He has called me to do until He comes. Every once in a while you hear people — usually a small cult — who become convinced that Jesus is coming on a special day. They sell everything, go to the mountains, and wait for Him to come. Paul is saying here: listen, even if you know He is coming today, you don't stop work, you don't withdraw. You are engaged in the very activity He has saved you for and called you to, and you engage in that activity until the day He comes.
To say it again in the New Living Translation: "In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ we appeal to such people — no, we command them — settle down and get to work and earn your living."
Don't Grow Weary of Doing Good
In verse 13 something changes. He has been talking about those people who won't work, but now he shifts: "As for you, brethren, do not grow weary of doing good." Here is apparently what was happening in the church at Thessalonica. These people were so sick of being taken advantage of, so sick of supporting those who would not work, that they said, "We've had it — we're not going to be taken advantage of anymore." And they made a mistake: they let the pendulum swing all the way to the other side and said, "Now we're not going to help anyone at all."
That is not what Paul is saying. There are people in this church with legitimate needs, and we stand ready to meet legitimate needs — that is the call. But there are times, and I have to tell you the frequency would shock you, where people will not work and will not fulfill their responsibility. To those people you cut it off. But to everyone else: do not grow weary of doing good. When you see the hungry, you feed them. When you see the naked, you clothe them. Those who cannot work and those who are victims of circumstances beyond their control — you are there to help them.
Don't let those who have taken advantage of you become your excuse to disengage entirely. Some of you may be here this morning thinking about the old 80/20 rule — even here at East Valley. Twenty percent of the people do 80 percent of the work. Twenty percent of the people give 80 percent of the money. Twenty percent are out there truly doing this, and the other 80 percent seem to be along for the ride. And you're thinking, "I'm not going to take it anymore." That is the wrong attitude. Our desire is that 80, 90, 100 percent of the people would be doing their work.
You can be tired — I understand that. But don't reach the point where you decide to walk away from the work God has given you simply because others are taking advantage of you or not carrying their share. I knew an acquaintance — and friend is too strong a word, and he doesn't go to this church — and I asked him how he was doing spiritually. He said he was taking a sabbatical from giving. I said, "What?" He said his wife and he had been giving financially, and he didn't think the rest of the people in their church were giving, so he was going to sit back for a while. That is exactly what Paul is warning against. Do not grow weary of doing good.
Church Discipline for Those Who Refuse to Work
Now Paul identifies what to do about those who will not work: "If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of that person and do not associate with him, so that he may be put to shame." What we are really getting at here is what we identify as church discipline — public discipline, discipline exercised within the church. Paul is saying: have nothing to do with them. Literally, do not be mixed up with them.
Paul wrote something similar to the church at Corinth, where there was a man involved in immorality. Paul told them not to associate with immoral people, but the Corinthians misunderstood it. They thought he meant they should have nothing to do with any worldly people at all. So Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 5 to straighten them out. He said, "I did not at all mean the immoral people of this world, or the covetous, or swindlers, or idolaters — if that were the case you would have to go out of the world." The Corinthians had heard "don't hang around bad people" and concluded they should avoid all unbelievers.
Paul's actual point is recorded in 1 Corinthians 5:11: "I actually wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he should be an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler — not to even eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging those outside the church? Do you not judge those who are within the church? But those outside God judges." And then Paul says to remove — literally expel — the wicked one from among yourselves.
What Can Land You in Church Discipline
What are some of the things that can land you in church discipline? Let me give you a few. Number one: personal differences with another believer. Matthew 18 is the classic passage on this. Here is what Jesus says: if a brother sins against you, you go to that brother, and if that brother repents, that is the end of it — right there. If you go to him and he does not repent, Jesus continues from there with further steps of discipline within the body.
Confronting Sin Directly
If a brother confirms that he did something, or a sister was involved in a sin, and you go to them and they say they want nothing to do with it, then you take another brother with you. You establish the facts together: this is sin, is that right? But if they respond with rebellion and refuse to repent, then you deal with it in a church setting — maybe in a small group, maybe publicly in a forum like this one.
Let me make a distinction between public and private matters. This is one of the things I have really learned a lot about in the last eight or nine years at East Valley Bible Church. If somebody sins against you, or somebody is involved in a sin, you go to them directly. I have people come to me and say, "Well, such and such did this," and I stop them immediately: have you talked to him? Have you confronted her? If they say no, I tell them I don't want to hear it.
Scripture is very clear on this. If you have a problem with a person, or someone is involved in a sin, you go to them and confront them. One of the great problems I see in the church is that believers have something against somebody else, or they have been sinned against, and they run around talking to everyone about what this person did — but they never follow Scripture. Scripture says you go to them, and I believe that conversation should be isolated to those involved. If the person says they are sorry and have repented, that is the end of it. That is what Matthew 18 says.
Doctrinal Error and Restoration
It may be doctrinal error that needs to be confronted. Paul writes in Galatians 2 and says that when Peter came to Antioch, he opposed him to his face. What Peter had done was slip back into a Judaizing mentality — a legal mentality he had been freed from — and he had changed his position.
It may also be a believer caught in sin. We all sin. The Apostle Peter denied Christ. David was involved in adultery. The goal when someone is caught in sin is restoration. The word literally means to set a bone. When you go to someone involved in sin, it takes tenderness and patience. The object is not confrontation — the object is to restore that person.
It may also be that you have someone who is simply a troublemaker — involved in gossip, causing divisions and cliques, scurrying around the church. If somebody is bent on that, we do our best to remove them quickly, because it is very destructive. These are usually people who think they are much more important than they really are and who feel they ought to be in the loop on every decision. Or it may be open immorality. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 5 that if this is the case, you are to literally expel that person.
Church Discipline and Its Purpose
Now, this can become very uncomfortable. If you are in a church where you have never heard any of this, you do not want to hear it, and it can feel very authoritative — "Who do you think you are? Now you're judging each other?" But Paul also says to be cautious: "Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother."
Here is what Scripture says: after following this procedure, if someone is involved in sin and remains unrepentant, we are to put them out of the church. They are gone. The only contact we have with them is to challenge them to repent. Our conversation is to call them to repentance — not to socialize with them, not to golf with them, not to hang out with them, but to call them to repentance. Yet we must not develop a mindset that this person is the enemy. When Paul specifically addresses those who will not work, he still calls them brothers.
Four Helps When Someone Refuses to Obey
When you have somebody who refuses to obey, let me give you four helpful things to keep in mind.
The first is: do not give up on them. You may encounter someone so mired in sin that when you confront them they say, "I don't care. Do whatever you want. It doesn't matter. I'm going my way." We were talking with someone not long ago about a man in their church who was publicly disciplined and did not care — he left his wife. But the story that came back was of a service where this man returned with eyes filled with tears of repentance and joy, and his wife welcomed him home. What a great opportunity that was for the church to rejoice. There was no indication that man would ever have repented, but he did. You never know. Do not ever give up on someone.
The second is: confront in love. I am basically a non-confrontational person — he laughed when I said that in the last hour, which I was offended by, but then half of them repented and the other half didn't, so we will be disciplining them next week. From up front I can be a little confrontational, and I try to be gentle but pretty uncompromising. But once I step out of here, I am a wimp. I tend to want to say, "Let's ignore it and it'll go away." Nowhere in Scripture does it say that if somebody is in sin, you just ignore it and it will go away. Deal with it, he says. The idea is to bring about a sense of shame, to embarrass them, to produce an overwhelming awareness of guilt in their life.
We had a man — and you cannot make this stuff up — who was in one of the PL studies and wanted to meet with me. I asked what the problem was. He said he was delinquent on his taxes, had a huge tax bill, was involved with cocaine, and was sleeping with his secretary — which was problematic in and of itself, but it really had his wife upset. I listened to all of this and kept thinking, is this Alan Funt? Is this a setup? Finally I could see he was completely serious, and I asked him what it was he wanted me to do. He said he was trying to get rid of the guilt.
Church Discipline: The Goal Is Restoration
Some guilt is good guilt. If you are sitting here today and you are involved in sin and you feel guilty, you ought to be thankful. If you can sit in sin and feel nothing, at that point you are a psychopath. At that point you are lost, and there is no hope.
Consider the context carefully. Someone who says they are a Christian is involved in sin. You have gone to them, the facts are established, and they will not repent. You go with others, and they will not repent. You bring it before the church, and they still will not repent. The object at that point is to put them out — not to punish them, but because you love them and want to restore them.
If you are truly a Christian, the desire to be with other Christians ought to be so strong and so overwhelming that it pulls you to a point of repentance. That is what Scripture is saying here. The whole object of church discipline is to restore the person.
The other side of this is that discipline also preserves the rest of us from ongoing, unrepentant sin. So often in the church, even among leaders caught in clear sin, people do not want to deal with it. What you have done in that case is created a culture where people are allowed to sit in their sin, nobody talks about it, and sin proliferates through the body.
We have to deal with sin, not because we are harsh, but because we love the body. If you have a sheep that is sick, you do not put it in with the other sheep and let it contaminate them. It has to be dealt with. And though this appears harsh, it is not — this person is not an enemy, they are a friend.
The Peace of God in Every Circumstance
Paul closes the letter in prayer. He writes, "Now may the Lord of peace Himself grant you peace in every circumstance." Peace here does not mean the absence of turmoil, but the presence of God in the midst of every circumstance.
Life is not a series of uncontested, great situations presented to you. There is hardship, suffering, pain, and difficulty, and yet there is peace in the middle of all of it. People around you who do not share your faith will sometimes say, "I don't believe what you believe, but there is something different about you. You have survived in the midst of this dog-eat-dog environment. How do you do it?" The answer is: it is not you. It is the Lord of peace.
Because we have peace with God through the Lord Jesus Christ, we can have the peace of God in our lives. That is Paul's prayer for this church.
Paul's Personal Closing
Paul then adds an extraordinarily personal note: "I, Paul, write this greeting with my own hand. This is a distinguishing mark in every letter. This is the way I write." We believe Paul had a serious eye problem. Some suggest that his thorn in the flesh was, in fact, something wrong with his eyes. Different suggestions have been offered — some say there was a continual discharge from them, others say the condition was severe enough to disfigure him.
Because he could not see well, Paul did not write his own letters. He would dictate them to a scribe. But here he says, in effect, give me the pen — I am going to sign this myself. And he closes with these words: "The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with all of you."
In the midst of hardship and difficulty, to this church at Thessalonica that is persecuted and suffering, Paul's final word is that they can have the peace of God because they have the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. That is what we have in our lives as well.
Closing Thoughts
Maybe you are sitting here today saying you do not know if you can face tomorrow. You can, because you know Christ. That is why, when you look at someone who does not know Jesus, you wonder how they manage. We are called to live in this world in a supernatural way, and that comes only from knowing Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.
First and Second Thessalonians are a great and very practical pair of books — the first two letters we believe the apostle Paul wrote. Remember, he was in Corinth when he wrote them. In September, when we return, we will pick up our study in the book of Acts at chapter 18, right where Paul is in Corinth, and we will begin there.