Judging
Tom Shrader works through Matthew 7:1-12, clarifying that Jesus' command not to judge forbids self-righteous examination of others' motives, not the biblical obligation to confront sin in the church. Using 1 Corinthians 5 and Matthew 18, he shows that Christians are called to judge sin with humility, first removing the log from their own eye before addressing a brother's speck. He closes by examining the ask-seek-knock passage in Matthew 7:7-11, correcting the misreading that prayer is a blank check, and grounding it instead in persistent, will-aligned petition to a Father who gives what is truly good.
“When we get to this part of discipline, we're not disciplining the sin itself, we're disciplining the failure to repent.”
— Tom Shrader
Series: The Sermon on the Mount
Recorded: 2005 at East Valley Bible Church
Duration: 55 min
Themes: judging others, humility, confronting sin, prayer, self-righteousness, accountability, forgiveness, asking god, struggling with pride, navigating conflict, feeling judgmental, new believer, mentor, young adult, dealing with a sinning friend, parent
Scripture: Matthew 7:1-12, Matthew 5:3, Matthew 5:6, Matthew 5:17, Matthew 7:13-14, Matthew 11, Matthew 18:15-17, Matthew 18:19-20, Romans 14:13, 1 Corinthians 5, 1 Peter 4, James 4:3, 1 John 5:14, 1 Thessalonians 4:3, Proverbs 18:17
Theological Themes: church discipline, hermeneutics, sermon on the mount, ecclesiology, sanctification, biblical authority, petitionary prayer, repentance
Full Transcript
Welcome and Announcements
It's great to see you this morning, and we are glad that you are here with us. If you are here for the very first time, it is always a little difficult for us because the last thing we want to do is make you feel uncomfortable in any way. We want you to know that we are happy you are here, and we would love to hear from you. We have seen a lot of different approaches to welcoming guests — having everyone stand and then asking those who have been before to sit down, which can leave a first-time visitor looking like a doofus standing there by themselves. We do not want to do that, but we do want to acknowledge you and communicate with you.
So we have come up with a way to do that: the guest registry. We ask that you complete the card and drop it in one of the boxes as you leave, either here in the worship center or in the conference center. As you work your way through the bulletin, you will also see an insert with the summer schedule for the institute classes, both session one and two. You can register out in the courtyard in person this Sunday and next Sunday, or online at any time — some of you have already done so. Getting that online registration number up makes everything simpler and more efficient.
When I think of the institute, I also think of the training center, though a lot of you may be only vaguely familiar with it, or perhaps unfamiliar entirely. The training center is a group of men who meet together once a week, representing a commitment of about twenty hours of study and work. They are men who have demonstrated a level of commitment and desire for ministry, and we invite them into specific training. The group is headed up by Chris Mueller and runs as a three-year process.
Last Friday night, we had one of the special moments in East Valley Bible Church history: we graduated our first training center group, and they are listed in your bulletin. If you know them, I would encourage you to drop them a line, send them a card, or say hello when you see them on campus. There is a year-two and a year-one group that will graduate in the next couple of weeks, and then the process begins again next year. Please take time to celebrate with that group of people.
Adult Ministries and Upcoming Events
Moving to Adult Ministries, the Crown Classes — called Crown Financial — are coming up. While finances are obviously part of what is discussed, the class is really about prioritizing your life and understanding your relationship with God, recognizing that He is first and foremost the owner and you are a steward, and that this understanding changes everything. Information on the Crown Classes begins next week.
Ladies, I want to remind you that next Saturday is the In Town Women's Conference here on campus, and you can register out in the courtyard today. It is a perfect culmination of what we have discussed these previous three weeks on the topic of contentment.
Turning to Student Ministries, I want to mention a couple of things. First, summer camp: we have fulfilled our obligation to summer camp and, in that sense, it is filled — we have 735 students and staff going. However, we do have the opportunity to secure some additional space. If you are planning on sending a student to summer camp, you need to register as quickly as possible. There is a sense in which you are wait-listed, but we believe we can get you in; the key factor is timing. The longer we wait, the more likely it becomes that we cannot make it happen, so please register those students right away.
Tonight a new service begins at 6 o'clock. It is not a new time so much as a new location — we will be in the Conference Center, and it will have a somewhat different feel from what we do on Sunday morning. Tim and the band, One Turn 80, will be leading the music and shaping the overall environment. I have heard many people this morning say they plan to come back tonight, and I would actually encourage you to wait a couple of weeks. My sense is that we are going to have a very strong turnout tonight, and if you are simply curious to see how it works, please give us a couple of weeks to work through what we need to process. If you genuinely do not know whether it is right for you and want to check it out, I am not trying to discourage you entirely — I just want to suggest a different Sunday. The schedule going forward will be 4 o'clock in here, 6 o'clock in the Conference Center, and tonight we will also be back in here at 7:30 for baptisms, with about half a dozen people being baptized.
Database Update
One last item, and it is very important — we have mentioned it the last couple of weeks. We need to update our database. There are cards available on the boxes around the exits that will allow you to update your information. If you have not completed a card in the last couple of weeks, please grab one as you leave, take two or three minutes to fill it out, and drop it in a box. We will continue doing this for the next two weeks, and then hopefully the updates will carry forward from there. We are essentially re-registering, so please take a moment to complete that card on your way out.
second base that isn't close. The guy's out by 20 feet. No one's arguing. No one's complaining. The umpire doesn't even have to think about it. This situation in Corinth is like that. This is not a close play. This is the guy out by 20 feet. No one should be arguing about this.
The Problem with Refusing to Judge
And yet you you and me, being the gracious, loving people that we are, are afraid to make that call. And you'd think that the church would have sprung into action. But look at what Paul says in verse 2: "And you have become arrogant and have not mourned instead, in order that the one who had done this deed might be removed from your midst." They weren't mourning. They were proud. What in the world would they be proud about? Well, there's some thought that they felt they had arrived spiritually. They were so spiritual that they could accept this kind of behavior and not be moved by it. They were so mature that they weren't affected by sin. And Paul says, that's not maturity. That's arrogance. That's pride.
Look at verse 3: "For I, on my part, though absent in body but present in spirit, have already judged him who has so committed this, as though I were present." Now here's the same man, the same pen, who said do not judge — and now he says, I have judged this man. Verse 4: "In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are assembled, and I with you in spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus, I have decided to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus." Now what does that mean? What Paul is saying is, put him out of the church. Remove him from the fellowship. Let him go back to the world. Let him experience the world. And the hope — he's not writing this man off — the hope is that in that condition, the man will realize what he's lost and what he's walking away from, and he will return.
Verse 6: "Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough? Clean out the old leaven, that you may be a new lump, just as you are in fact unleavened, for Christ our Passover also has been sacrificed." And then verse 9: "I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters; for then you would have to go out of the world. But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he should be an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler — not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? But those who are outside, God judges. Remove the wicked man from among yourselves."
Two Kinds of Judging
So here we have it. Paul says there is a place where we do not judge — we do not judge motives — but there is a place where we absolutely judge behavior. In fact, he says, don't you judge those who are within the church? We are expected to judge behavior. So the question is not whether we judge, but how and when and what we judge.
Now back to Matthew 7. Look at verse 1 again: "Do not judge lest you be judged." The context makes very clear what Jesus means. Look at verse 2: "For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you." There's a standard. There's a process of judgment. And the nature of this judgment is self-serving — elevating yourself, putting yourself in a superior position, using a double standard. Verse 3: "And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."
Now this is a very humorous picture. Imagine someone walking up to you with a two-by-four sticking out of their eye, saying, hold still, I need to get that little piece of sawdust out of your eye. It's absurd. And Jesus is painting an absurd picture on purpose. The point is this: the person doing the judging here has a far greater problem than the person being judged. He hasn't dealt with his own sin. He's using a double standard. He holds others to an account that he himself does not hold to. That is the judging that Jesus is condemning.
So what is the log? The log, in context, is likely the very sin or type of sin you're pointing out in someone else — and you have it in far greater measure. You're pointing at someone's drinking problem when you have a drinking problem. You're pointing at someone's anger when you have an anger issue. You're pointing at someone's dishonesty when you yourself are dishonest. That's the log and the speck. And Jesus says, deal with your own log first. Then — and notice He doesn't say don't help your brother — then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. The help is still expected. The correction is still appropriate. But it has to come from a place of humility and self-examination.
Pearls Before Swine
Look at verse 6: "Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." Now this sounds harsh. But Jesus is making an important point. There is a kind of discernment — a kind of judging — that is absolutely necessary. You have to assess whether someone is receptive. You have to make a judgment about whether the person in front of you is in a position to receive correction, counsel, or truth.
The dog and the pig in this culture were not pets. They were unclean animals. They were a picture of something that cannot appreciate what is being offered. If you throw a pearl to a pig, the pig does not stop and think, oh, what a beautiful pearl. The pig looks for something to eat. The pearl means nothing. And if the pig is frustrated, it will turn on you. Jesus is saying, there are people and there are situations where pouring out correction and truth is not appropriate — not because the truth doesn't matter, but because the recipient is not in a position to receive it. That requires discernment. That requires judgment.
So in the same passage where Jesus says do not judge, He also says you have to make a judgment about whether this is a person and a moment where truth can be received. That is not a contradiction. That is wisdom. And that is precisely the kind of judgment we are supposed to exercise.
Ask, Seek, Knock
Then Jesus moves to verses 7 through 11: "Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it shall be opened. Or what man is there among you, when his son shall ask him for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he shall ask for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!"
Now why does Jesus insert this here? What does prayer have to do with judging? Everything. Because the kind of discernment, the kind of wisdom required to judge rightly — to know when to speak and when not to speak, to deal with your own log before you address someone else's speck, to know a pig from a person who is genuinely seeking — that wisdom is beyond us on our own. We need to ask for it. We need to seek it. We need to knock on the door of heaven for it.
And Jesus grounds this in the nature of the Father. If an earthly father, who is imperfect and sinful — that's what "being evil" means in this context — if that father still gives good gifts to his children, how much more will your heavenly Father, who is perfectly good, give good things to those who ask Him? The argument is from the lesser to the greater. If imperfect fathers do this, how much more the perfect Father?
The Golden Rule
And then verse 12, which brings this entire section to a close: "Therefore, however you want people to treat you, so treat them also, for this is the Law and the Prophets." The Golden Rule. Treat others the way you want to be treated. And notice the word "therefore." It ties everything together. The entire discussion about judging, about logs and specks, about pearls and swine, about asking God for wisdom — it all leads here. How do you want to be treated when you've sinned? You want someone to come to you with humility. You want someone who has dealt with their own issues. You want someone who has prayed and sought wisdom before they walked through your door. You want someone who genuinely loves you and wants restoration, not condemnation. Therefore, that's how you treat others.
This is the Law and the Prophets. Jesus said in Matthew 22 that the two great commandments — love God and love your neighbor — are the foundation of all the Law and the Prophets. Here He says the Golden Rule is the Law and the Prophets. They're saying the same thing. Love looks like treating people the way you want to be treated. And in the context of judging, love means doing the hard work — dealing with your own sin, seeking God's wisdom, assessing the situation rightly, and then, when the time is right and the heart is right, helping your brother with the speck in his eye.
Difficult Calls and Arrogance in the Face of Sin
In life, we have to make some calls — difficult calls, close calls. But Paul is saying this isn't a close call. This isn't something that's hard to figure out. This is a man sleeping with his mother, and even a pagan says this is wrong.
Look at what Paul writes: "You have become arrogant and have not mourned, instead, in order that the one who has done this deed might be removed from your midst." They had become arrogant and ignored this situation — probably because it's difficult, it's tough, it's messy to deal with, and it's painful. If you're going to be the one who deals with these things, you better get ready for it, because there is an assault that comes with it.
Look at what he says in verse 3: "I, on my part, though absent in body, present in spirit, have already judged him who has committed this as though I were present." Now this is the same man who wrote, "Therefore, let us not judge one another anymore." Was he a hypocrite? Is he a liar? Did he forget that he wrote those words? Did he think nobody would ever catch this? No — we are talking about two different things entirely.
Two Kinds of Judgment
Jesus is saying, and Paul is agreeing, that we have to be very careful when we try to look into people's hearts and ascertain exactly what the motive is behind what they are doing. We have to be really, really careful here, because we are not God, and that is God's business. We are not even very good at judging — we can get confused pretty easily.
Proverbs chapter 18, verse 17 says, "The first to plead his case seems right until another comes in and you examine him." Isn't that the truth? Somebody comes to you and says, "You are not going to believe what this person did — he did this, and he did that, and he said this." And you say, "Yeah, that's not right." The Message paraphrases it this way: "The first speech in court is always convincing until the cross-examination starts." Somebody lays that case out, and you are ready to go — and then all of a sudden you hear the other side of the story and realize you did not have all the facts.
So we need to be very careful. That is exactly what Jesus is saying. That is exactly what Paul has in mind. Be very, very careful when you start looking at somebody's motives. But if you are dealing with sin — actual sin — you not only need to judge it, Jesus even gives us a prescription in the church for how we are to handle it.
Matthew 18: The Pattern for Church Discipline
Let's go back to Matthew's Gospel, Matthew chapter 18. It has become the classic, definitive passage on how we deal with church discipline. Jesus gives us a pattern to follow, a model for how we begin to deal with sin in one another.
Matthew chapter 18, verse 15: "If your brother sins, go and reprove him in private. If he listens to you, you have won your brother." Here is this man or woman — they are a Christian, they say they are a believer, they would call themselves a follower of Christ, and they have sinned. Jesus says you go to them in private and establish the facts. You say, "This is what I heard, this is what you did, this is what has gone on, and it is sin — and you say you are a believer." If that person says they are guilty and they repent, that is the end of it.
If they do not, verse 16: "If he does not listen to you, take two or more with you so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed." What if that person says, "Yes, I am guilty, but I am not sorry about it. Yes, it is sin, but God will forgive me"? They are unrepentant. Then Jesus says you get a couple of other people and go to them together.
If they still do not repent, verse 17: "If he refuses to listen to them, you tell it to the church, and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax gatherer." So here is the process: first one person goes, then two go, then we bring it before the church. Many of you have been in a church service where we have dealt with that, and it is a very painful procedure. There is a great deal of anguish and a great deal of time that goes into it. If we are guilty of anything, I would say we are guilty of being slower in that process — but I would rather err on the side of grace and mercy.
Our Procedure and the Purpose Behind It
Here is our procedure, just so you know. If we have someone in that situation, we send them a letter informing them that we are at the end of the process of dealing with this privately and that we are going to deal with it publicly — in a church service. We name the date: on such and such a Sunday, we are going to tell the whole church. If that person responds at that point, that is the end of it. If they do not, that letter goes out to the whole congregation.
The whole point is this: remember, this person is a brother or sister. They should want to be part of the family of God, want to be part of the church. What often happens is that when it reaches this stage, they take off running. The discipline is not designed to be punitive — it is designed to be restorative.
This is something really important, and I think when you grasp it, it makes dealing with all of this a great deal easier. When we get to this part of the discipline process, we are not disciplining the sin itself — we are disciplining the failure to repent. That is a big deal. The last church discipline case we had was brutal. I have never experienced anything like it.
The Standard We Use to Judge Others
No, we don't think we're perfect. We know we sin, but when we sin, we repent of that sin. That's the whole point. I know that I sin, but when I confront that sin, either myself or my brothers come to me and say, listen, you're out of line. People think of church discipline only as what happens in a formal setting, but there is a lot of church discipline that takes place all over. There will be many times when somebody comes to me and says, you didn't handle this just right, and I think you were sinful in the way you handled it, and I say, I'm sorry. That is church discipline.
Peter tells us in 1 Peter chapter 4 that it is time for judgment to begin with the household of God. From one of the paraphrases, it puts it plainly: it's judgment time for Christians. Not only are we to judge, we are to judge sin, and we are to be discerning as we deal with false teaching in particular.
What Jesus Actually Means in Matthew 7
But that is not what Jesus has in mind here. Let's go back to Matthew chapter 7. When Jesus says, "Do not judge lest you be judged," He is not talking about dealing with sin. He is talking about judging somebody else's motives. John MacArthur writes this: unrighteous and unmerciful judgment is forbidden, first of all, because it manifests a wrong view of God. With the phrase "lest you be judged," Jesus reminds the scribes and the Pharisees that they are not the final court. To judge another's motives, or to curse someone to condemnation, is to play God.
So here is what He is saying: you had better be careful in this judging, because it is dangerous not only to the person being judged, but to the one doing the judging. Look at verse 2: "For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you." He is saying, here you are judging, and you need to understand that you will be held to that same standard. You will be measured that same way yourself.
A Different Standard for Ourselves
My experience in my own life, and certainly in watching others, is that we tend to hold everyone else to a different standard than we hold for ourselves. We race to give ourselves grace. We tend to be very lenient on ourselves. It drives me nuts when things are not orderly, but if you come into my office, it is in absolute total disarray. It's my office, so it doesn't matter — but everyone else needs to get their act together.
I used to do that with my kids all the time. Grades were always a point of emphasis, and I would tell them, listen, you need to study hard and get those grades. They would come home with report cards and I would say, you need to study harder, these grades are important. Then one time my mom was visiting, and one of the girls asked, G-ma, was dad a good student? My mom said, your dad? And she did not stop there. She said, no, he was not a very good student at all. In fact, there was a time when we got our report cards as IBM printouts that could easily be manipulated, and he got caught changing a couple of Ds into Bs. So not only was he not a good student, he was a liar and a cheater on top of it — and not very smart, because he got caught.
That is exactly what Jesus is saying here. Be careful. This is dangerous territory.
The Log and the Speck
Then, as though to take those first two verses and press them even further, Jesus moves to a whole other level. Look at verse 3: "And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."
I love that word picture. When we hear the word speck, we need to hit rewind and step back into the environment Jesus is teaching in, rather than importing our own context. When I hear speck, I think of dust — I have had something in my eyes the last couple of days, and that is what comes to mind. But that is not the word here. The speck is actually more like a twig or a splinter.
Here is what makes this picture even more striking: the splinter is essentially a shaving of the very log that is in this man's eye. What Jesus is saying is that you have this big log — this dominant, prevailing sin — and when you look around with that log in your eye, you are drawn to spotting the people who have a splinter, a chip off your own block, in their eye. If you are a manipulative person, you tend to be very critical of those who manipulate, partly because you understand the system and can see it happening before others can. If you struggle with material things or the love of money, you tend to be very critical, and often inappropriately so, of people who have a lot. If you are proud and arrogant, you tend to go right for those who display pride. Whatever your besetting sin — that log — that is precisely what seems to attract your judgment in others.
Dealing with Your Own Sin First
As you look at different people and begin to see the sin in their lives, consider verse 3: don't look at the speck in your brother's eye and not notice it. This has the idea of a continuing thought process or examination. It means don't worry about their sin until you've dealt with your own, and don't stop until you've resolved this shortcoming in your own life. It tends to flow from a spirit of self-righteousness.
John MacArthur has this sentence tucked in here: "Thus the self-righteous person can never be anything but a hypocrite because he continually puts on a deceitful act of righteous superiority." The counterbalance is to deal with your own sin. The counterbalance is to examine your own life. The counterbalance is to take your life and put it under the microscope the way you're putting everybody else's life under the microscope, and to hold your life to the same judgment to which you're holding them. The balance to this is to find a sense of humility.
Go back to the very beginning of the Sermon on the Mount, chapter 5, verse 3: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." When we talked about those verses, we said blessed are the poor in spirit — blessed are those who are spiritually impoverished, who understand they are spiritually bankrupt, who understand no good thing dwells in them. And those who mourn — in that instance, it deals with people who are broken over their own sin. They see their sin, and it brings them to tears, as though their sin is before them all day long, and they mourn over that sin and over their spiritual bankruptcy.
Look again at chapter 5, verse 6: "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness." They become merciful and peacemakers, and ultimately inherit the kingdom of God. That is a Christian. That is what a Christian does. It starts with an accurate view of who he is.
One of the most difficult things we face in life is getting an accurate view of who we are, because we tend to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt. We tend to love ourselves. We tend to be prideful, and we fight against this all the time. One of the easiest ways to avoid our own sin is to start judging everybody else's sin. "Don't judge," He says. "Don't judge, lest you be judged. And however you judge — in this matter of motive — you better understand that it's coming right back at you."
The Right and Wrong Kinds of Judgment
There is an appropriateness to judging. There is a right time to judge, as when we deal with sin or with spiritual truth or false teaching. But what you and I need to work on is the speck in our own eye. Otherwise, you become a hypocrite — and that is exactly what Jesus calls the scribes and Pharisees in Matthew chapter 23: "You blind guides."
Pearls Before Swine
Verse 6 is what one author calls one of the hard sayings of Jesus: "Do not give what is holy to dogs. Do not throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet and turn and tear you to pieces." Part of what will make this a little easier is getting an accurate understanding of what is meant by the word "dog." When we see the word dog, we think of Fido, we think of a pet.
In our house, I tend to be the first one up in the morning, so I let the dog out, and she runs right over to a rug and lays on her back. She just loves it when you rub her belly, and her little foot goes just like that. You think of a fluffy dog running around — but these are not domesticated animals. These were wild dogs, savage and vicious, diseased animals that would turn and bite you when you approached them.
Jesus says don't give what is holy to that kind of dog. He is probably referring here to meat that has been consecrated and used in the process of worship in the temple. You don't give that to a dog. You don't take your pearls and throw them before swine, lest they trample them under your feet. Jesus' point, I think, is that there are certain truths that are reserved for those of us who have a relationship with Him.
Consider one of the remarkable prayers Jesus prays in Matthew 11: "I pray, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You hide these things from the wise and intelligent and that You reveal them to the babes." Or consider what He says to His disciples: "To you it has been granted to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been granted. Therefore I speak to them in parables, because while they are seeing, they do not see, and while they hear, they do not hear, nor do they understand."
Caution in Sharing Your Faith
There are other passages where Jesus sends the disciples out and says, listen, you prepare this, you present this, and if they don't receive it, shake the dust off your feet and go to the next town. What does that mean for you and me? It means we need to be cautious — cautious about how we share, where we share, and what we share.
You are going to share with people and they are going to have a lot of questions and they are going to come at you. In some of those instances — and I don't know how you figure this out other than by instinct — you will have people come wanting to talk, asking a bunch of questions. As you answer those questions, you get a sense that behind each question is another question, and behind that another question still.
Asking, Seeking, Knocking
Whatever questions they ask, there is just another one. You get one out of the way, and there are more and more, because they are not really looking for a set of answers — they are just trying to jerk you around. There are other people who ask difficult questions, and they are legitimate questions, and you begin to share with them. But there are some people who are non-believers, hostile, and antagonistic, and they want to get together and argue. I am just not going to go through that exercise very long. Be careful — that is what He is saying.
Now, if those verses were difficult, there is a sense in which we really need to be careful as we get to verse 7. Matthew chapter 7, verse 7: "Ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, it will be opened." Oftentimes when we start to deal with these verses, people come up and say, wait a minute, I thought you take the Bible literally. Just as we saw in verse 1 of chapter 7, we do take it literally, but we have to put it in context and weigh it against the balance of Scripture.
At first glance, if we did not have any other verses, if we did not have any other Bible, it would seem fair to draw the conclusion that says, ask whatever you want and you are going to get whatever you want. In fact, as if to reinforce it, verse 7 says everybody asks and receives. But that does not match up with the balance of Scripture, does it?
Scripture tells us to ask and tells us to pray. Let me give you what I think is the primary meaning here, and then we will unpack it. I think primarily He is saying, listen — you ask, and you seek, and you knock. There is a progression there. There is an intensity there. In your life, as you go to your heavenly Father, do not be afraid to ask, and to seek, and to knock. There is a persistence there. He has warned us against meaningless, repetitious words, but I do not think that is what He has in mind here.
Praying with Right Motives
Let me be autobiographical here, certainly as we are dealing with Susan's situation. We pray about it every day. I have people I meet all over this valley who come and say, I pray for your wife every day. And I ask them periodically — what is it you pray? I think that is interesting. I pray for her every day. Really? What do you pray? Well, I pray she gets better. That is my heart. But ultimately, that prayer is not going to get answered because she is not going to live forever. I also say, God, help me understand this situation, help me have strength in the midst of this, and help me glorify You in the midst of this.
But if you think you can simply pray, "God, heal her," and now He is required to — gotcha, because I have this verse, that is what it says, so you have to — that is not how it works. And then in a prayer meeting, somebody will say, "Bob, go ahead and pray," and Bob will say, "Father, You have told us, wherever two or more are gathered, You are there, and You will honor that." Let me deal with that passage, because it comes up.
Keep your place here at Matthew 7 — we will be right back. Still in Matthew, look at Matthew 18, the passage we examined at the beginning of the day, talking about judging. Matthew chapter 18, verse 19: "Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything that you may ask, it will be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. For where two or three gather together in My name, there I am in their midst." He is talking about dealing with sin and discipline. He is not talking about agreeing that somebody will be healed.
Testing the Promise
Let us work this through. Let us put it to the test and see how it works. I want you to agree with me right now that when this service is over and we go out into that parking lot, everybody has a new Rolls Royce waiting for them. Let us just agree. I agree — can you agree? Amen? Run and peek and see if it has happened. It is not going to happen. Why is it not going to happen? We will find out in a moment. Actually, it is easy to understand. James chapter 4, verse 3: "You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures." So you cannot just ask for any of these things.
Let us try something else. We are here at East Valley Bible Church — it is a great place, and we have needs. We are jammed in this room, we are on video over there, and we cannot get everyone in. So let us agree that not today, because it is the Lord's Day, but tomorrow when we wake up, the commons building will simply be there. Could God do that? Could He just have that commons there? Sure. This is a great church, and God would want to do great things. I shared this with one of the earlier services, so I apologize for the redundancy, but I got a great email last week that said, I have good news and bad news. The good news is we have all the money we need for the building project. The bad news is people still have it in their pockets.
So let us agree on that. Can we agree? Amen? But I am sensing that tomorrow it is not going to be there. You might say, well, that is selfish even then. All right — let us agree that every person on the planet would be saved. Now that has certainly got to be a good—
Persistence in Prayer
When we are asking and knocking and seeking, He also says we are receiving and finding and opening. There is a persistence there, a continual action. He is admonishing us and encouraging us to seek and to pray, to be proactive. This does not mean, "I prayed and I'm done."
I love true stories, and I have one that illustrates this well. A guy came up to me looking bad and said he had lost his job. I said I was sorry, and he said, "God will provide." I agreed with him. A week or two later I asked if he had found a job — no. A month later, still no. When I asked whether the job market was tough, he said he didn't know. He had not gone on any interviews or completed any resumes. He was simply waiting for somebody to call, because God was going to provide.
I told him that God is going to provide — but it seems like He will do it through a resume, an interview, and the typical process of networking. So I ask, and I seek. There are conditions at play. There seem to be qualifiers in our life.
Conditions That Shape Our Prayers
Peter tells us men that if our relationship is not right with our wives, it hinders our prayer. There is a lot at play here, and this clearly is not a carte blanche that says if you want something, go get it. It also seems to me that we must be living in accordance with God's will. First John 5:14 says, "This is the confidence which we have before Him, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us."
I have another story from Priority Living. A guy came to meet with me — I didn't know him at all — and we started talking. He told me his girlfriend and he were going to Vegas. He mentioned that the night before, his girlfriend had been cleaning the house and cooking dinner. I asked whether this was someone he had simply taken to the prom, or whether they were living together. He said yes, they were living together and were sexually active, but that they had a great relationship — they studied God's Word together and prayed together.
Then he told me he didn't want to talk about any of that. What he wanted to know was God's will for his life, because he felt God was really working in him and leading him. I told him that ordinarily I am not very good at identifying that — but his case I could help with, because God wrote about him specifically. First Thessalonians 4:3: "For this is the will of God, your sanctification, that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality." There is God's will for you — that you would not live in sin.
He was completely oblivious. He was so absorbed in his own life and his own sin that he was on some mission, wanting God to do great and powerful things with him, while God was showing him the very basic things — and he was saying no thank you. He wanted the deeper things of God. But God is not going to show you the deeper things until you have dealt with these things.
Examining My Own Heart
Part of prayer in my life is taking the time to examine my own heart, to look at my own life and my own condition, and to see how I am handling things. I know that if I am not in right relationship with Susan, my prayers are bouncing off the ceiling, because He tells me clearly that this relationship needs to be right. Do I want to know God's will for my life? Absolutely. And He has told me — right here: don't steal, don't cheat, come in repentance and faith, live a life that looks like Christ.
Do I know where He wants me to work, or every detail of direction? I don't, really. I have people come to me for advice all the time, and I am glad to help. But don't come to me looking for God's will about whether you buy the blue house or the red house — I don't know. And if a guy calls and says he knows God is calling him to move to Seattle and asks what I think, well, if God has already told you to move to Seattle, are you waiting for me to say He meant Minneapolis? If I am going to judge, I have to examine my own life first.
Prayer and God's Generosity
When I go to the Lord, I understand He is a gracious God. What is His point? "For whoever asks, receives; whoever seeks, finds; and to whoever knocks, the door will be opened." What man is there among you whose son asked him for a loaf and he gives him a stone? What father, when his son came to him and said, "I'm hungry," would say, "Here, chomp on this rock"? That doesn't make sense. Or if the son asks for a fish, would he give him a snake?
When you hear that, think about what is implied in verse 11. The son is looking for a fish, looking for something to eat, and instead receives a snake — a picture of something unclean and unholy, something the Jews would not eat.
Faith Is Not Something to Leave Up to Your Children
This raises something that astounds me, and I hear it not only here but in other places. I will hear people say, "This is my faith, but I'm not going to force it on my kids. I want my kids to draw their own conclusions." That is just silly. Why would you do that?
Christianity at its core is the doctrine that Jesus is the only way, a doctrine that then emanates into ethics and behavior. We have an entire department here dedicated to world ministries and missions. It would make no sense to send someone to the mission field if there were another way to find God.
If a man in New Guinea can reach God through something other than Christianity, why would we send someone there? We send people to the mission field because there is one way. That is Christianity at its core. Why would you take your kids and say, "There are lots of ways out there — you figure it out"? That is not good parenting. It is not even good thinking.
"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him?"
The Golden Rule — Stated Positively
Verse 12 gives us the Golden Rule — with a twist. The way we often quote it is: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That principle, by the way, is found in almost all great bodies of thought and religious or theological teaching.
One Jewish rabbi wrote: "What is hateful to yourself, do not to someone else." Confucius taught: "What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others." The great Greek philosophers wrote: "Do not do to others the things which make you angry when you experience them at the hand of other people." Every one of those is stated in the negative — don't do this to others.
The version Jesus gives is stated positively, and it may not seem like much of a difference, but I think there is a huge difference. "Therefore, however you want people to treat you, that is the way you treat them. That is the way you respond to them." Then He adds: "This is the law and the prophets."
Bookending the Sermon on the Mount
That phrase takes us all the way back to chapter 5, verse 17. When we were there, we noted that it begins a section — a new section in the Sermon on the Mount — that runs almost continuously to the verse we are at now, chapter 7, verse 12. Look at chapter 5, verse 17: "Do not think I came to abolish the law or the prophets. I did not come to abolish but to fulfill."
Having now worked through all sorts of human interpersonal relationships — our vertical relationship with God and our horizontal relationship with others — Jesus closes the section by saying, "This is the law and the prophets." The bookend is intentional and complete.
The Universal Preoccupation With Ourselves
What Jesus is arguing against throughout all of this is a painful, sinful, and almost universal preoccupation with ourselves. It is as though the great cry of our lives is: what about me?
We see it everywhere. I am waiting to board a plane and the announcement comes that the flight will be late because of a mechanical problem. Now, I understand that occasionally airlines might move things around for other reasons, but this is a mechanical problem with the plane — and people are going nuts. What are we going to do? When are we going to get there?
And I am thinking: what if it had gone the other way? What if we were at 33,000 feet and they said, "We knew this was going to upset you back there, so we didn't want to bother you on the ground — but we have a wing that's doing this, and we don't think we're going to land the plane." That announcement would give everyone a whole new perspective on the mechanical delay at the gate.
Everything that happens, and I am at the top of this list, immediately prompts the question: what does it mean to me? People sit through staff meetings where we go over plans and decisions, and the internal question is always, what does this mean for me? We were getting ready for one of the weddings — either Sarah's or Haley's — and lying in bed one night, probably two or three weeks out, I said to Susan, "How's it going?" She said her goal had been to be completely done two weeks ahead of time and then just enjoy the event. She said she was right on target, no problem. I said, "That's cool — are you doing—"
Examining Your Own Heart
She said, "I'm doing great. How are you doing?" I said, "I'm struggling — with a girl — I don't know, I'm struggling." She said, "Can I say something?" I said, "Sure." She said, "I am so sick of your struggling. Struggle, struggle, struggle, struggle. This isn't about you, you little wuss. This is about them. They're going to get married. It's not about you, it's about them. And your struggle doesn't mean anything but that you're self-absorbed."
I said, "Well, I'm not in the mood tonight anyway, so keep your hands off me." And there's a certain way I can lay in bed where I can hang my wrist over the edge and just keep cracking it all night, because I knew it would drive her nuts.
But the next day, I was driving to a Bible study to teach, and I was thinking: there might be some degree of truth to what she said. Isn't that amazing? Just self-absorbed. It's a girl's wedding. It's celebratory for them.
The Preoccupation with Self
Jesus is saying, listen — here's this preoccupation that you and I have with ourselves. And if you're here today and you're not a Christian, you have no chance of beating this. For the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness. As a non-Christian, you may experience this thing — this affection you call love — but it isn't biblical love, because biblical love is a result of an indwelling Holy Spirit.
So here's what Jesus says: get your eyes off of others and onto yourself. Examine your own heart. You have a Father in heaven who loves you more than you can imagine, who wants what's best for you. But what He deems is best for you and what truly is best for you may not always be what you want.
You ask, and you seek, and you knock — there's a persistence there, it seems to intensify. You pursue Him because He's a good God. He may not give you what you want. He'll give you something even better. He won't give you what you want; He'll give you what you need.
A Homework Assignment: The Narrow Gate
Now look at verse 13 and 14 — this is for next week. "Enter by the narrow gate, for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter by it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it."
I want to give you a homework assignment, and I never do that. I want you to take those two verses and — no commentaries, no study Bible, don't look at the footnotes, no dictionaries, don't talk to anybody else — just start making as many observations as you can about those verses. Start today. It wouldn't hurt to print them out on a card and keep them with you. Just see what you see.
If you've got a friend, or if you're married, maybe around Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday, go to your spouse and say, "Here's what I've seen — what have you seen?" When we come back together next week, you're going to be blown away at how much you can pull out of those two verses. And it should be a source of encouragement to you as you begin to study other passages. We'll look at that next week.
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Father, thank you for this truth. Thank you for loving us more than we love ourselves and for giving us every good gift that we have. Thank you for life itself, and we pray that the life You give us, we use to Your honor and Your glory. We pray that to You in Jesus' name. Amen.