How to Live With a Fool

Tom Shrader walks through 1 Samuel 25, contrasting the arrogant fool Nabal with his wise and courageous wife Abigail, whose swift intervention prevented David from taking violent revenge. Abigail's example illustrates that when someone sins against us, the natural response is to retaliate, but God calls believers to a supernatural response of forgiveness and trust that He will fight their battles. Shrader draws seven observations from the passage, centering on God's sovereignty, the power of servanthood, and the freedom that comes from forgiving those who do not deserve it.

“Any human relationship will provide you infinite opportunities for forgiveness, and we are to forgive.”

— Tom Shrader

Series: So You Really Want a King?

Recorded: 2009 at East Valley Bible Church

Duration: 51 min

Themes: forgiveness, revenge, wisdom, conflict, servanthood, pride, anger, trust in god, dealing with a difficult person, navigating conflict, feeling wronged, wife, husband, struggling with anger, new believer, young adult

Scripture: 1 Samuel 24, 1 Samuel 25, Luke 12:15-21, Romans 12:17-21, 1 Corinthians 13, 1 Timothy 6, Ephesians 4:32, Romans 1:16

Theological Themes: divine sovereignty, sanctification, imago dei, forgiveness, wrath of god, providence, biblical wisdom, spiritual maturity

Full Transcript

Introduction

Open your Bible to 1 Samuel chapter 25. If you don't have a Bible, raise your hand high — it's hard to see — and one of the men and women will work their way through to you. We would love to provide you one. It is page 221 in the Bibles we give out.

In our continuing story, remember that David is on the move. He is being hunted by Saul, and God has protected and provided for him. We are grateful to watch that and to see it unfold. We left off last week at the moment when Saul stumbled into a cave where David and his men were resting in the cool of it. Saul went in to relieve himself and ended up taking a nap there. David had an opportunity, and his men were encouraging him to come in and kill Saul and put an end to this whole challenge.

He did not do that. Instead, he cut a piece of Saul's robe off, and when Saul left the cave, David shouted at him and confronted him, saying, "I don't know what's going on here, because you're trying to kill me. You keep saying that I'm trying to kill you — if I was trying to kill you, I would have done it right there, but I didn't." Saul responded in chapter 24, verse 17: "You are a more righteous man than I am, David — you're a better man than I am." And not only that, in verse 20: "I know that you will be king."

The Transfer of Power

This is really important. We talked about it last week, and we have been making this point continuously since about chapter 14 or 15: everybody knows that the kingdom is going to move from Saul to David. It is not like what we do in this country, where we have a moment — around the 20th of January every fourth year — when a transition of power takes place, as it did last January, with a clear moment where power moves from one man and administration to another. The mantle has passed, but there is a time frame engaged here, and that proves to be a huge challenge for Saul. Saul is jealous and is looking to kill David.

They have this wonderful moment that we looked at last week, and if all you have is that and you stop there, you get a sense that perhaps it is over — that bygones are bygones and we are all moving on to a new time. But that is not the case.

What Chapter 25 Looks Like

What we have today is almost like a parenthesis — a lesson inserted into the larger story. One author describes this chapter this way: it is a long narrative with little explanation. What you will see are speeches. David speaks, Nabal speaks, Abigail speaks, some of the servants speak, and in the first 39 verses, 26 or 27 of them are direct quotes. There is this dialogue taking place, and there is huge drama in this story.

In my Bible — and I assume in yours as well — you will have headings over certain sections. I have four sections here. A section beginning in verse 2 is titled "Nabal and Abigail." Verse 18 is titled "Abigail Intercedes." Verse 39 is "David Marries Abigail." That is the shape of the chapter.

How This Lesson Came Together

Here is how I will typically put a lesson together — I have talked about this before, but it has been a while. I will, tonight or tomorrow, no later than Tuesday, read through a chapter, go through some material, and decide whether there is enough for one lesson. For example, when you get to chapters 26, 27, 28, 29, and 30, that really is one continuous story, and I would not be surprised if we could cover all of that next week — though that is ambitious and will take discipline on my part. I will read it through, then read a couple of different translations, maybe a paraphrase, and then start working through the materials that Karen has sorted and prepared for me.

Then typically on Friday and Saturday I get all of that done. By the way, if you are somebody who prepares lessons, do not do it this way — this is not the way to do it. My friends don't believe I work like this, because it is very risky. I get here at about 4:45 in the morning, and that is the day I will actually write it — literally this morning. So if you are walking through thinking this seems a little late to be doing this, well, all it really is is a culmination of all that other work. Saturday night I don't sleep. I am awake, in and out, and my mind is going through the lesson over and over and over again. That is a pretty typical week of how I put it together.

I had this all worked out. Verse 1: Samuel dies, everybody gathers, they say goodbye. Then the story is really about Nabal — he's an idiot. Abigail — she's terrific. Then there is the confrontation, and I was done and ready to go. Then yesterday afternoon, I picked up something I had already read but had actually skipped, because it dealt with verse 1. I thought, "Verse 1 — Samuel dies. Good luck, Samuel. See you later." That was honestly how I felt about it. I did not think I needed much time there.

Samuel's Death and the Loss of a Mentor

Then I read this paragraph, and when I read it, I realized this was going to be a very long but very sweet day for me. The author writes this:

*"We have all had mentors who were special to us, people we trusted who could be relied upon to give us wise advice. Even if we did not phone them every day, we had the security of knowing that they were there. However, there comes a day when God calls them home, and we are alone."*

I read that, and a couple of things happened. First, there is the intellectual side — I want to argue a bit. I don't know that we have all had mentors, plural, who—

A Mentor Like No Other

There are people in your life who give you advice, people who are friends, and people who fall into that category. Over the years, looking back, there have been men who made a real impact — guys like Bob Shank, Jerry Smith, and Thew Quist, who have been friends of mine for a long time in that way. And God has Tim and Tyler and Neil and some of the other staff people around in my life right now. But when I read this passage, I only think of one man — Larry — and it fits perfectly here.

There are people you trust, people whose advice you can rely on, people you just know are there. They are almost like a human security blanket. And then there comes a day when God takes them home, and you are alone. When I read this, I realized yesterday it was going to be a long day and a sweet day for me, because I knew that each time I taught this passage there would be a reaction in me. I think it is really important for you to have someone like that in your life.

I think there needs to be an age discrepancy in that relationship. You can have peers like that, but then there is that one — that difference. I also think there are people who fill a particular spot in your life, and once they are gone, no one takes their place. I always talk about that at funerals: you just lost your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, and there is a hole in your heart and a heaviness right now. I want you to understand it is not going to go away — that is your mom, that is your dad, that is your brother — and that is actually a sign of healthy relationship.

I am so grateful that God brought many people into my life who served as mentors and advisors. But above all, He allowed me to have this one man who held a spot no one could ever fill. I pray a couple of things: I pray you have that too, and I pray that if you do not, God would provide it for you. I also pray that God would allow me to be that in other men's lives, because that is a huge deal.

Samuel's Absence and a Marriage of Opposites

In terms of the story, Samuel's absence is significant because he was the 10W-40 in the relationship between Saul and David — the thing at least minimizing what was going on between them. Now that he is gone, Saul in particular is ready to run amok.

In verses two and three, we are introduced to a couple. If opposites attract, this is a perfect illustration of it: "There was a man whose business was in Carmel. He was very rich. He had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats. And it came about while he was shearing the sheep in Carmel, his name was Nabal, that his wife Abigail, who was intelligent and beautiful in appearance, but the man was harsh and evil in his dealings, was a Calebite." There are these two people married to one another.

Nabal is rich. One author put it in a phrase I appreciated: his possessions preceded his own person. He seems to be defined by his wealth, and it is fair to assume that his wealth was a large part of defining who he was. We will see in a moment that he was certainly swept away with a sense of his own importance. He was the kind of man who probably said, "Well, I worked really hard for all of this," or "I am smart," or "I have business savvy."

I run into successful people like that all the time, and I love to remind them: there are a lot of people who work harder than you do, a lot of people who are smarter than you are, and a lot of people who may have more business savvy than you do. God has blessed you. Rather than brag about it, you ought to feel the burden that comes with success, because God blesses people for one reason — to glorify Him — and to bless others as well. That is why He blessed you. Nabal does not get this at all.

Nabal the Fool

His name means "fool," and he lives up to it. I assume no parent holds a newborn and says, "What a cute little boy — let's name him Fool." So my assumption is that the name became his over time, the way a nickname like "Lefty" or "Slim" does. In verse 17 we see the servants, in verse 21 we see David, and in verse 25 we see Abigail — all with the same assessment of this man. The assessment is this: he is a worthless man, good for nothing, a despicable character.

Probably, as in your own life, nobody would give him the time of day — except that he has a lot of money, a lot of stuff. And God has allowed him to marry this beautiful, intelligent, wise, loving, caring, proactive woman. She is the real deal by any measurement.

How does he end up with her? That is a fair question. He likely ends up with her because it was an arranged marriage. He had wealth, and his parents or her parents thought this would be a good arrangement for Abigail — that it would protect her and take care of her. None of that, interestingly, is the main thrust of what follows.

Regardless of how she came to be in this relationship, look at what she does. In verse 25 she says, "Please do not let my lord pay attention to this worthless man" — speaking to David. She knows this man is an idiot. She knows he is not too bright. According to verse 17, nobody can talk to him; he is arrogant and will not listen to anyone. And rather than trying to figure out how to get out of the marriage, she is trying to figure out how to serve him within it. She is an extraordinary woman, and we will see that as the story unfolds.

In verse four, David heard in the wilderness that Nabal was shearing his sheep — and that is where the story picks up.

Nabal's Response to David's Request

Like reaping the harvest, this is a time of celebration, truly a festival. David heard this, and so he sent ten men to Nabal with a message. In verse five, he instructs them: "Go up to Carmel and visit Nabal and greet him in my name." The greeting was gracious: "Have a long life. Peace be with you. Peace be to your house. Peace be to all you have."

David's message continued with a clear case for why Nabal should respond favorably. David's men had not insulted Nabal's shepherds, nor had the shepherds missed anything during all the days they were together in Carmel. David even invited Nabal to verify this: "You go and ask them, they'll tell you." On the basis of that protection and goodwill, David asked only that his men find favor and receive whatever Nabal could spare on this feast day.

The Fool's Self-Centered Reply

Nabal's response, recorded in verse ten, was contemptuous: "Who is David? And who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants today who are each breaking away from their masters." Everyone in the land knew who David was — Nabal knew perfectly well — but he feigned ignorance and dismissed him as just another rebel.

The depth of Nabal's character becomes clear in verse eleven, where he piles up singular personal pronouns: "Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat that I have slaughtered for my shearers and give it to men whose origin I do not know?" It is all about what belongs to him. He frames David and his men as strangers of uncertain origin, though he knew exactly who they were.

The Parable of the Rich Fool in Luke 12

Reading verse eleven immediately calls to mind a gospel story in which a man asks Jesus to tell his brother to divide the inheritance with him. Jesus lays out a principle in Luke 12 and then tells a parable. He says there was a rich man with very productive land who began reasoning to himself — and notice again the weight placed on singular personal pronouns.

The man asks, "What shall I do since I have no place to store my crops?" He answers himself: "This is what I will do. I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, 'Soul, you have many goods laid up for you for many years to come. Take your ease, eat, drink and be merry.'" In those two and a half verses, he uses a singular personal pronoun ten times. It is all about himself.

God's response is devastating: "You fool, this very night your soul is required of you; and who will have what you own? So it is with a man who stores up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God." Jesus then goes on to say, "Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed, for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions." That is the principle with which He introduces the parable.

The Temptation of Wealth and Self-Sufficiency

Nabal is the kind of man who would be featured on the cover of Forbes or Fortune — the man who flies around the world giving seminars on how to get rich, how to make money, how to sell short, how to work every angle. The temptation in the midst of that kind of success is to think there is something special about you.

That is why Paul writes in First Timothy 6 with such urgency, warning those who are rich not to place their confidence and trust in riches — not only because riches can evaporate, but because we tend to ask riches to do what only God can do. This is a foundational principle: life is temporary. Even the most celebrated, the most wealthy, will die. Possessions do not constitute a life.

A Side Lesson on the Power of a Father's Words

This calls to mind the recent coverage surrounding Michael Jackson's death. Someone made the observation that when Michael saw his father, he would literally begin to cry and shake, because his father was so domineering. The father reportedly told the other brothers constantly, "You're not like Michael, you're not like Michael," with the result that the brothers resented Michael deeply, and Michael himself was clearly a deeply damaged person. There is a reason for that — it does not excuse everything, but there is a reason.

For those of us who are fathers, there is a powerful message in that story. Very little in Scripture speaks directly to parenting, but it does say to fathers: do not provoke your children. What we saw in Michael Jackson was one profoundly provoked man, and it is a vivid reminder of the power of words.

That power is something deeply personal. There is an incident that happened over fifty-five years ago, more than half a century, when I was in kindergarten with a teacher named Miss Julie. I can tell you exactly how the room was arranged. We had just colored a picture of three children playing in the snow and passed them in. My teacher held one up and said, "Look at this — everybody look at this picture. You see this picture? Tom colored this. Tom colored this picture right here." I thought, oh my goodness, what an incredible —

The Power of the Tongue

Fifty-five years ago, I can tell you the room, I can describe the room, I can tell you where I was sitting. My first moment of public affirmation. Here's what she said — do you see this kid here in a red snowsuit and these orange mittens? "Don't you ever, ever put red and orange together. Ever. Tom did this." Well, I'm over it. It hasn't shaped me terribly, but that color combination was reinforced in me that day.

That was this week's lesson, and it's part of living with a fool: that's the power of the tongue. Life and death lie in the power of the tongue. Especially, guys, even if you can't do it with everybody, the tongue has the power to edify, to encourage, to build up. But what the tongue does is reveal what's inside. And what Nabal reveals is: it's all about me, me, me. He's an idiot. He's not going to share with anybody. Get out of here.

David's Rage and Nabal's Reputation

So the men ride back, and in verse 12 they retrace their way and give a report to David. David says, in essence, in verse 13, load the guns and saddle the horses — we are going to go get this guy. We've had it. We are going to take him down right now.

Now, one of Nabal's servants goes to Abigail and brings her up to speed on what's going on, telling her David is going to kill everybody. You better do something. His conclusion is found in verse 17: "Now therefore know and consider what you should do, for evil is plotted against our master and against all his household. He is such a worthless man that no one can speak to him." No one can talk to this guy. He won't listen to anybody. He's worthless. That word appears in the Hebrew Old Testament 26 times, and 10 of those times are in 1st and 2nd Samuel. It literally means "good for nothing," "not profitable." It is also translated as destructive, rascal, scoundrel, ungodly, wicked. That's who this man is.

Abigail Acts Quickly

Abigail receives this message. She hears of the coming destruction, and in verse 18 — I circled this word — she hurried. She took 200 loaves of bread, two jugs of wine, five sheep already prepared, and five measures of roasted grain. What she did was take everything she had prepared for the feast of the shearing of the sheep. She loaded it all onto donkeys and said to her men, "Go before me. Behold, I am coming after you." She didn't tell Nabal.

There are two observations worth making here. First, she understood that telling him would be a waste of time — he isn't going to get it. Second, she moved quickly. Reading between the lines, you get the sense that this was the typical standard operating procedure at Nabal Enterprises. Frequently, Abigail had to come in and deal with things. The servant had no problem going straight to her, apparently understanding that this is how it works: Abigail, you better do something. And if for no other reason, because David has said he is going to kill everybody — no one is going to survive. So off she goes.

The Confrontation on the Mountain

It came about that as she was coming up one side of the mountain, David was coming down the other. In verse 21, David said, "Surely in vain I have guarded all that this man has in the wilderness, so that nothing was missed of all that belonged to him. And he has returned me evil for good." And then David makes an oath in verse 22: "May God do so to the enemies of David, and more also, if by morning I leave so much as one male of all who belong to him." Here is what he said: if I don't kill all of these men by morning, may God take my enemies and kill me. He was going to wipe out this man and everyone around him — anyone wearing a Nabal logo on their shirt, anyone with any connection to him, they're gone.

Abigail sees David, hurries, dismounts, and falls on her face before him at his feet. Then she begins to speak in verse 24, and we get huge insights into who she is and how she thinks.

Abigail's Plea

"On me alone, my lord, be the blame. Please let your maidservant speak in your ears, and hear the words of your maidservant. Please do not let my lord pay attention to this worthless man, Nabal, for as his name is, so is he." He is living up to his name — Nabal means fool or folly, and that is exactly what he is. She continues: "But I, your maidservant, did not see the young men of my lord whom you sent."

She wasn't there. She would have intervened. She would have tried to take care of it. Then she makes a point that is enormous — and it is made not just here in verse 26, but repeated in verses 33, 34, and 36: "Since the Lord lives and as your soul lives, because the Lord has restrained you from shedding blood and from avenging yourself by your own hand, now then let your enemies and those who seek evil against my lord be as Nabal." God is restraining you. God is holding you back from shedding blood and from taking vengeance into your own hands. Let God deal with them.

The Enduring House and God's Sovereign Hand

She continues: "Please let the gift which your maidservant has brought to my lord be given to the young men who accompany my lord. Please forgive the transgression of your maidservant, for the Lord will certainly make for my lord an enduring house." The Lord God will make for you, David, an enduring house, because you, my lord, are fighting the battles of the Lord, and evil will not be found in you.

"Should anyone rise up to pursue you and to seek your life, then the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living with the Lord your God. But the lives of your enemies He will sling out." That brings immediately to mind the picture of David and Goliath — slinging them away. "And when the Lord does for my lord according to all the good that He has spoken concerning you, and appoints you ruler over Israel..."

When You Are Sinned Against

Abigail understands what David is feeling, and she understands the human heart. She knows what he is doing, but she is asking him to live in a bigger way — a supernatural way, a loving way. Her message to him is clear: when that time comes, when God makes you the ruler of Israel, I want you to be able to assume that position with a clear conscience. This will not cause you grief or trouble for two reasons: you will not have shed blood without cause, and you will not have avenged yourself. When God deals well with you, my Lord, then remember your maidservant.

Abigail is speaking to a tendency we all share. The instinct is not to get mad, but to get even. This is the very principle David himself had lived out in 1 Samuel 24, and it is the principle we examined last week. He became the model of it.

We saw that principle laid out in Romans 12:17-21: "Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord. 'But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Abigail becomes a picture of this truth. She is not dismissing what David has suffered. She acknowledges the hurt. But she is calling him to respond in love rather than retaliation. In 1 Corinthians 13, where we saw the fifteen attributes of love, one of them is that love does not take into account a wrong suffered. Abigail is living that out before David's eyes.

The Tendency to Respond Sinfully

Here is a one-on-one principle you can take from this passage and use every single day of your life. When you are sinned against, your tendency is to respond sinfully. If somebody sins against you, you are going to want to get even. Your heart is going to become hard. If somebody does you dirty, you are going to want to do the same thing back to them.

It may not happen today and it may not happen tomorrow, but the thought is there: you are in my crosshairs, and what you have done to me is coming right back to you. That is how we respond humanly. That is the default setting of the human heart.

I was watching this week some of the coverage of the situation with the Governor of South Carolina, and Susan and I had a few different takes on it — which may just be a typical difference between men and women. We understood what he did wrong. There is no question about that. But one of the interesting things to watch is how his wife responds to this moment. Rights are one thing. I understand rights. But where is your heart?

I have said this before, and I genuinely mean it even though I am not looking to be put to the test. I have said it to Susan directly: there is nothing you could do to get me out of this relationship, as much as you might want me out. I said this is what we are going to do, and so this is what it is. When you sin against me, I have to guard my heart and pay attention to what that moment reveals about what is truly inside me. My flinch will be to respond sinfully. You betrayed me, I trusted you — I understand all of that, and I am not naive about it. But what God is asking is whether it is possible for you to live not just naturally, but supernaturally. It is in that supernatural response that we find the entire idea of forgiveness, and in forgiveness we find extraordinary freedom. We will come back to that in a moment.

David Reminded of His Own Lesson

What is fascinating here is that Abigail reminds David of what David himself taught us just one chapter ago. Last week, David had the opportunity to avenge himself against Saul and chose not to. But now he wants a piece of Nabal. And I do not know why, other than simple human nature: I have to be reminded again and again that no one ever arrives at some complete and permanent victorious life.

David had a high watermark last week. The men around him were saying, "Go get him, David. Everybody knows what he has done. Nobody would blame you." And David said, no — that is wrong before God. But here he is, ready to go straight after Nabal, and God intervenes. He intervenes in the person of Abigail, and David recognizes it immediately.

Look at verse 32. David says to Abigail: "Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, who sent you to meet me this day! Blessed be your discernment, and blessed be you, who have kept me this day from bloodshed and from avenging myself by my own hand." This is a God thing. God used Abigail. God brought her here.

Abigail Saves Nabal

Here is something you cannot miss when you read this story carefully, regardless of how you have heard it taught before: Abigail saves Nabal. David is not going to call off his men, circle back, and finish what he started. He says, "As the Lord God of Israel lives, who has restrained me from harming you, unless you had come quickly to meet me..."

God Is Always at Work

Clearly, Abigail spares Nabal, but she saves David too. She spared David from doing this awful thing that would have haunted him all of his life. This is an incredible woman, an incredible person that God uses in a marvelous way. David says, "I get it. I understand it. The deal is done. Go home in peace. I've listened to you. I grant your request." And they retreat.

Verse 36: Abigail goes to tell Nabal, and behold, there is a feast in the house, like a feast of the king, and Nabal is very drunk. This is exactly where we would expect this man to be. So she did not tell him anything until the morning — there was no point talking about it then. He was not going to get it, and he was not going to remember it. But in the morning, when the wine had gone out of Nabal, his wife told him these things, and his heart died within him. He had a heart attack and became as a stone. About ten days later, the Lord struck Nabal and he died.

That is the end of those two. There is one more verse worth noting, because when David hears that Nabal is dead, the last part of verse 39 tells us David sent a proposal to Abigail to be his wife. He had seen firsthand that this was someone truly special.

Seven Observations From This Story

From this passage, there are seven observations to draw out. The first is this: God is always working, even when we cannot see it. David had the opportunity here — the timing, the circumstances — this was a God-ordained moment. The old spiritual says it well: He's got the whole world in His hands. Everything in life is either caused or allowed by God. He is absolutely sovereign, and He is at work today, always working in and around us, even when we do not see it, do not understand it, or are confused by it.

But we know this: He began a good work, and He will continue that good work. He did not create the world and then step back wondering how things would turn out. Nor did He work only through the Old and New Testaments and then, once Revelation was written, wonder how it would all end. God started this and continues it all the way through. He will reign at the end. Jesus is coming again. This is the whole story — how man fell, how God redeemed, and how God is in the process of restoring us in the midst of this creation. It is an amazing truth: God is at work.

God Works Through People Like Abigail

The second observation is this: God works through people. What type of people? People like Abigail. As you read through this passage, certain characteristics stand out about her immediately. The first is the way she describes herself — "I am a servant." That is what God uses: servants, people with a servant's heart.

Do not confuse servanthood with a specific activity. Sometimes we think of a servant as the person who cleans the building or handles parking or performs some visible task. But servanthood is not activity-based — it is heart-based. A servant is someone who uses their gifts, talents, and resources to serve others. That is not natural to us. Remember, Jesus is walking along while the disciples are having a heated discussion among themselves. He knows what they are talking about. When they finally sit down, He asks them what they were arguing about, and they go silent. They had been arguing about who would be the greatest among them. Two of them had even sent their mother to Jesus to ask that one sit at His right hand and one at His left in His kingdom. That is how we are wired by nature.

What is remarkable is that even the world — entirely pragmatic as it is — recognizes that servanthood works. That is why the phrase in leadership today is "servant leadership." Yet it remains entirely counterintuitive to how most organizations actually operate. Consider the airline industry. There is one airline that consistently makes money, and the man who built it wrote a book explaining how to do it. If you ran one of the other airlines, why would you not follow that model? I am convinced — and I admit this is hard to prove — that many executives would rather have control and lose money than give away control, earn respect, and make money. It comes down to ego.

Warren Buffett is another example. Whatever you think of him personally, the man is extraordinarily successful. He wrote a book laying out the principles that guide his investment decisions. Why would not everyone apply those principles? Because someone else thought of them. The servant's posture is different. The servant says, "I really don't care who gets the credit." That is the Ronald Reagan principle — it is about trying to accomplish something, not about who receives the recognition for it.

The Power of Forgiveness in Relationships

Nabal is a fool — worthless, self-motivated, an arrogant jerk who nobody can talk to. Yet in the midst of this, his intelligent, beautiful wife serves him. We have a whacked-out view even of submission. I talk to guys all the time who talk about how they run their house, and I say, that's not submission. Submission is not "me Tarzan, you Jane." Submission is understanding that the final call rests with me — I have that burden — but you are a fool if you are not listening to your wife along the way, letting her provide insight.

That gets all muddled up in relationships. We keep score. You did this, I'll do that. People say, "Here's what you need to do — this, this, this, and this." But here's the first question: for how long? A week? A month? What is the time limit, the expiration date at which I quit doing these things? Because if that person has responded by then, that's it.

Nabal doesn't deserve forgiveness. He's a fool. He's an idiot. He's a jerk. But what do you do? You forgive. He doesn't deserve it — I understand that. There are a whole bunch of things I don't do well, and you could make a long list of them. But there is one thing I do very well: I am a world-class forgiver. You can wrong me again and again and again. I just keep forgiving, because I know Ephesians 4:32 — "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has forgiven you."

It blows me away when I think of the sin I am capable of. I could fall into any number of failures — that is true of all of us. We tend to rank sins, though. We treat gossip as nothing. A little overweight? Let's grab a doughnut and talk about it. But that is sin too, and I need to be forgiven. Any human relationship will provide you with infinite opportunities for forgiveness, and we are called to forgive.

People say, "Forgive and forget." I have never gotten the forgetting part down, and I don't know how you do. Some say God forgets it. No, He doesn't. "As far as the east is from the west" — that is not amnesia. He doesn't forget the event. He simply doesn't hold it against you. That is what we are called to do.

You Cannot Formula-ize Servanthood

It is impossible to put a formula to this. I was talking to someone the other day about a man who is planning to write a book on marriage. I just cannot imagine. We do not need another book on marriage. I don't know how you formulate something like this — be nice, be kind, be sweet.

Let me give you an example. I got back from the gym and sent this text to my wife Susan: "I'm going to leave some clothes in front of the dryer. Can you throw them in the washer, please?" Now, you could fairly point out that I had just come back from the gym and ought to be able to figure out how to put my own clothes in the washer. That is fair. I just sense that with information comes a certain level of responsibility I don't really want. So she gets this text, and one hour and fifty-nine minutes later she texts back. Ladies, think about what you would text back at that moment. She texts back: "Happy to. Would you like some dinner when you come home?"

Now, we can debate and argue about all of that, and I am not saying everyone has to respond that way. I am just saying — you see how that works. How would I put that in a book? It is a hard thing. It is a dance. For some of you, that particular dynamic would not work in your relationship. But in this whole process of servanthood, you cannot put a formula together. You just sense it. You know the need. You get it.

She got up the other morning and said she had no milk and was going to go get some for her coffee. She left, and I thought — why don't I just make the coffee? I don't know how, but it can't be that hard. It has to be like doing the laundry, except I never wanted to figure that out either. But I put some coffee in one of those little filter things, put some water in, and it was ready when she got back. I don't know if it tasted any good. But for a moment, you step out of your world and into their world. That is servanthood.

Living Counterintuitively

This is all counterintuitive. The Army built an entire marketing campaign around "Be All You Can Be." That is what we sense — me, be all I can be. But here is what God is calling you to do: be a vehicle that He uses to allow other people to be all they can be. That is what He is talking about.

Your Battles Are Spiritual — Let God Fight Them

That is not natural; it is supernatural to think about someone other than yourself. That is why these organizations so often fail. You watch these large companies, and it just staggers you — the stupidity, the waste — and you understand it is all about control and sin. When they tell you that 30 to 40 percent of the cost involved in Medicare and Medicaid is waste and theft, that means the medical bill in that area could be cut by 40 percent if you could eliminate sin. You cannot eliminate sin, but we keep trying to regulate around it.

Here is the sixth thing: your battles are spiritual, so let God fight them. You do not need to go get a pound of flesh. God is going to handle it. Let Him fight in you, through you, in your life and in the lives of those around you. Let God do that work — you do not have to do it for Him. In the book of Ephesians, Paul tells us this truth: our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces. The weapons he gives us are prayer, the study of Scripture, and so on.

Our God Is a Great God

Here is the seventh point: our God is a great God. That may seem almost like a given, but stay with it. As I was writing that point, I had Chris Tomlin playing in the background, and the song that came on was "How Great Is Our God." He is an amazing God. He is an awesome God, and He is still at work today.

My fear is that we read a story like this and think, *that was amazing* — and leave it in the past. He is still doing that same work all day, every day in your life. He used Abigail in a remarkable way, and He still uses people today. He will use you just as He used Abigail.

Here is the question to walk away with: whose life around you will you step into as that Abigail? Who needs you to be that person — the one who brings a godly principle to bear, today, tomorrow, and the day after, over and over again? That is the question.

The Gospel Is the Power of God

He is an awesome God, a great God, a mighty God. Romans chapter one, verse 16 — Paul said, "I am not ashamed of the gospel. It is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes." It is the power for deliverance, redemption, and rescue. It is the power to live supernaturally, and He will do it in our lives today.

Do not let this be an abstract story from thousands of years ago. It is as fresh as this morning's headlines. If you yield to Him, that is what He is looking for. What a great story.

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*Father, thank you for these amazing, wonderful truths. It is a terrific reminder of who You are and how You work in our lives. God, thank you for working in a way that allows us to be part of Your plan and Your story. Will You use us in a powerful way — not because we are powerful, but because You are. God, thank you for Jesus, the One who redeemed us. Thank you for the Spirit who empowers us. Use us. We ask it of You. In Christ's name. Amen.*