Loving the Difficult to Love
Tom Shrader walks through Ephesians 4:1-6, the pivotal transition point where Paul moves from doctrine to practice, challenging believers to walk in a manner worthy of their calling. Shrader unpacks five essential character traits—humility, gentleness, patience, love, and peace—showing how each counters the natural human impulse toward pride and self-focus and how together they hold a diverse church body together. He applies these principles concretely to the tensions of a multicultural congregation, pointing to Christ's own self-emptying as the ultimate model for sacrificial, unconditional love.
“The Christian faith is not about what we do, it's about what we believe—and what we believe has to affect how we behave.”
— Tom Shrader
Series: Ephesians
Recorded: 2010 at East Valley Bible Church
Duration: 50 min
Themes: humility, love, patience, gentleness, unity, pride, diversity, forgiveness, navigating conflict, struggling with pride, multicultural community, new believer, feeling unworthy, young adult, mentor, parent
Scripture: Ephesians 1:3, Ephesians 1:4, Ephesians 1:5, Ephesians 1:7, Ephesians 1:9, Ephesians 1:11, Ephesians 2:1, Ephesians 2:4, Ephesians 2:13, Ephesians 4:1-6, Ephesians 4:2, Romans 2:2, Romans 11:29, Romans 12:2, 2 Corinthians 5:17, 2 Corinthians 5:20, 1 Corinthians 10:26, 1 Corinthians 13, Philippians 2:3, Philippians 2:5, Philippians 2:8, Colossians 3:12, James 1:21, Matthew 11:29, Luke 5, John 13:34, Romans 13, John 13
Theological Themes: sanctification, ecclesiology, kenosis, walking worthy, unconditional love, body of christ, christian conduct, doctrine and practice
Full Transcript
Introduction and Overview of Ephesians
It's good to be back with you and to be able to say: open your Bibles to the book of Ephesians. I'm going to pick up right where Tyler left off last week, which means we will land in Ephesians chapter 4. If you need a Bible, all you have to do is raise your hand and we'll bring you a copy of the scripture. If you get a Bible from us, go about two-thirds of the way back — that will get you to the New Testament. When you get to the New Testament, go to page 152, and that will get you into the book of Ephesians.
We have reached the halfway point today in our study. Paul uses a pattern here that he also uses in Romans, Colossians, 1 Thessalonians, and — some would argue — Philippians as well, where he writes a section we might call doctrinal and then a section we might call practical. There is a moment of doctrine and then a section of duty. Some authors divide it as creed and conduct, or principle and practice. However you want to label it, Paul lays out heavy doctrinal truths and then moves to their practical application as they pour themselves out in our lives.
We have already looked at those earlier chapters, so only a brief reminder is needed here. The doctrine is perhaps best summarized in Ephesians chapter 1, verse 3: "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in heavenly places in Christ." That phrase "in Christ" appears throughout Ephesians — Paul uses it regularly, somewhere in the range of seventy-five to one hundred twenty-five times. It speaks of someone who has come to a point in their life where they understand that their sin has separated them from God, and who has turned not to themselves, not to a church, not to religion, but to the only place salvation can be found — Christ and Christ alone. That person is therefore said to be "in Christ."
Just as a quick flyover reminder: in Ephesians chapter 1, verse 4, he chose us; verse 5, he predestined us; verse 7, we were redeemed through His blood and forgiven; verse 9, He made known to us mysteries; verse 11, we obtained an inheritance. Then in chapter 2, verse 1, we were dead. Verse 4 continues: "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead, He made us alive together with Christ." He then did this incredible thing where He took those who were once alienated and distant — two separate groups — and brought them together. Chapter 2, verse 13: "Now in Christ Jesus, you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ." Neil then led us through that section on Jew and Gentile being brought together.
The Turn from Doctrine to Practice
So now we come to this dividing line, and the first word of chapter 4, verse 1, is "therefore." That word connects the two buckets Paul has been filling — the doctrine and now the practice, the talk and now the walk. He is saying that what we believe has to affect how we behave.
Let me read from William Barclay's commentary and his introduction to this section. He writes: "With this chapter, the second part of the letter begins. In the first three chapters, Paul has dealt with the great eternal truths of the Christian faith, the function of the church, and the plan and the design. Now he begins to sketch what each member of the church must be if the church is to carry out her part in the plan and the purpose of God."
Looking at chapter 4, the first sixteen verses, here is how they outline. Verse 1 contains a call — Paul is calling you to walk in a certain manner. Verses 2 and 3 lay out what I have called five essential character traits for us to live the way God calls us to live. Verses 4, 5, and 6 place a spotlight on unity. If you look at those three verses, you will see the word "one" appears seven times — clearly, Paul is pressing on the theme of unity. Then verses 7 through 16 speak about the uniqueness of every member and yet the necessity of every member coming together for us to function as this one body.
The Problem of Discord and the Only Way Through
Barclay continues: "In the world, there is nothing but discord, disharmony, and disunity. Nation is divided against nation, man against man, class against class. Within man himself, there is an inner battle — an unceasing battle between the higher and lower parts of his nature. It is God's design and God's purpose that all this disunity and disharmony should be resolved in Christ, that all men and all nations should become one in Christ, that in Christ the differences should be abolished and the separating walls torn down — that when we get to heaven, every tongue and every tribe and every race will be represented there."
There are distinctions among us, and those worldly distinctions are not something we as a nation or as a people are ever going to simply power through. The only way through them is in Christ. If you have ever felt the spirit of disharmony, disunity, and anger, you have to feel it now. Within the state of Arizona, within the country, the tension is impossible to miss. It is impossible to turn on the television and not see — regardless of whether the perspective is liberal or conservative — Arizona at the focal point of so much of it. That discord and that anger are very real.
The Ministry of Reconciliation
"If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature. And the old things have passed away. Behold, new things have come. And all these things are from God, who is reconciling us to himself through Christ." He has given us a ministry of reconciliation — namely, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them. He has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Therefore, as 2 Corinthians 5:20 says, "we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us." We are first to be reconciled to God, and those of us who are reconciled to God can then begin to be reconciled to one another. That is the mission for the church.
Barclay continues: Jesus supplies the one center around whom and in whom all men can gather into one. But if ever that oneness is to be achieved and attained, the message of Christ, the fact of Christ, the love of Christ, the mercy of Christ, and the seeking of the heart of God in Christ must be taken out to the world. It is the function of the church to take the message and that love to men. The church must be the body through which Christ acts, the voice through which He speaks. The church must be Christ's instrument in bringing divine unity into the world.
A Letter for All Churches
Paul is writing to the church at Ephesus — though, as we noted in the very first week, in the earliest manuscripts the phrase "in Ephesus" does not appear. It was designed to be a general letter, one that would be written and then circulated among other churches. Paul understood that these churches would be a combination of all sorts of people from different backgrounds — socioeconomic backgrounds, legal and illegal status. There would be Jew and Gentile, and all sorts of distinctions that the world would honor, but which would also be present within the church.
Paul is saying that, given this reality, we need to understand that the instrument for Christ to reach the world is the church. When the word "church" is used today, unless specifically referring to East Valley Bible Church, it means all believers united in all places for all times. Paul knew, and all the New Testament writers knew — God Himself, the Holy Spirit writing the book, knew — that the variations of height, weight, material wealth, and background within a church would produce a certain level of tension, both within the church broadly and within local churches. Paul is saying the idea here is oneness — being God's vehicle to reach the world.
Walk Worthy of the Calling
If that mission is to be real and to take place, Paul gives a clear call in verse one: "I implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called." The word "implore" there is more than simply asking — it carries an intensity, a sense of begging, of coming alongside. Paul refers to himself in verse one the same way he referred to himself in chapter three, verse one: as a prisoner. He is reminding his readers of the situation he finds himself in materially, not to flaunt it or cause embarrassment, but simply to identify it. This commitment, this walking with Christ, is going to have a cost to it. Even when Paul writes Philippians — a book all about joy — he writes it as a prisoner.
The word translated "worthy" carries with it the idea of weighing, of equal weight. Here is what it means to walk in a manner worthy: take all of the blessings with which you have been blessed, place them alongside the way you walk, and they balance one another. They weigh themselves one against the other. Because of all these blessings, there is a daily correspondence between our calling and our walk. When Paul uses the word "calling" here, he is talking about God's saving call on our lives. "No one can come to the Father unless the Father draws him." He says it back in chapter one, verse four: He chose us before the foundations of the earth. The night before He died, Jesus prayed, "You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and your fruit should remain."
When Paul uses this word — and the references are numerous, Romans 11:29, 1 Corinthians 10:26, and more — he is talking about God's calling, this calling into salvation, this calling from death to life. That calling should have a corresponding result in the way you live.
Belief Before Behavior
This is really important: the Christian faith is not about what we do, it is about what we believe. What makes us a Christian is not the things we do, but what we believe. If you look only at what people do, there are all sorts of people who would deny Christ — secular humanists, Buddhists, Mormons, people with a totally different view on the divinity of Christ — who would still feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and build homes. They would do what we would call good.
Walking Worthy: Five Traits of Christ-Like Living
We are not Christian because of the things we do. We are Christian because of what we believe. Now, what we believe has to affect how we behave. That is Paul's whole point here. He wants us to live in a way that counterbalances and represents what we believe — that we say we are Christians, and therefore we look like it, we act like it, we behave a certain way. There is a certain behavior we would expect from somebody who is a follower of Christ, and Paul says to walk in that way.
Paul's emphasis here is on the idea of the church — the big church — and holding that together, understanding that there is a pull against that. Against that backdrop, he identifies five essential characteristics of Christ-like living right here in verses two and three. Let us read it: "With all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." So Paul says when he looks at us individually, he expects to see these traits in us individually. And if he sees them in us individually, he should see them in us as a church corporately — humility, gentleness, patience, love, and peace, all together.
Humility: The Most Unnatural Trait
Paul begins with the most unnatural of all traits: humility. To understand how foreign this is to the human psyche, consider that the Greeks and the Romans did not even have a word for it. The Christians had to coin their own word. The Romans and the Greeks felt that to be humble was a picture of being a coward or being weak. They said it is not natural. The natural thing to do is to be filled with pride — self-sustaining, self-sufficient, captain of my ship, master of my fate.
Every once in a while at the gym, I see somebody — usually a high school student working out — wearing a t-shirt from the football team or one of the athletic teams. It will say something like "Tiger Pride." And that is what is drummed into us: take pride. Pride in who you are, pride in your performance, pride in your job, pride in your team, pride in your house, pride in your car, pride in the way you look, pride in the way you think, pride in the gifts and talent you have, your accomplishments, pride in your kids. Pride.
What we discover is that this idea of being proud, which the world promotes, gets in our way when we come to the cross. Jesus says in Matthew 11:29, "I am gentle and humble of heart." There is our role model for humility.
The Mind of Christ
Keep your finger there and turn to the very next book — Philippians. When you get to Philippians chapter two, verse three, Paul is calling us to be like Christ: "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves." That is the core of it. Verse five continues: "Have this attitude in yourself that is also in Christ Jesus." Some translations will say, "Have the mind in you that is also in Christ." Paul is saying he wants us to think the way Christ thinks, to have the same grid, the same mindset, to look at things in the same way.
So our motivation is not Tiger Pride, Wildcat Pride, or Sun Devil Pride. It is not that pride of accomplishment or self-pride. Paul says to do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but to regard others as more important than ourselves — to think like Christ. And here is the example: Christ, "although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant and being made in the likeness of men."
He was God. When we talk about Isaiah six, and Isaiah sees the Lord high and lifted up, that is Jesus that he sees. That is what Jesus was. That is where He was before He came to earth. He emptied Himself — not of His deity, for He remains God — but He emptied Himself of His glory and came to earth as a man. And Paul takes it even deeper. He does not just say He became a man. He says, "Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." There is your role model. There is the attitude and the mindset Paul is talking about. It is totally contrary to the world's mindset.
Pride and the Cost of Coming to Christ
A man who used to come to this church was a Marine. If you want to understand that mindset, I have recommended many books over the years, and most of the time people say it was a good recommendation — sometimes they do not. But this is the only book I have ever recommended that every single person has loved. I will say upfront that it is not for everyone, as the language can occasionally be a little rough. It is about a young man who becomes a Navy SEAL and is then dropped with three other SEALs into Afghanistan, where within a matter of hours they are surrounded by 300 Taliban. He survives. The book is called *Lone Survivor*.
When you look at what goes into that training, and you see that survival mindset — that "you can do it" mindset — you begin to understand that coming to Christ with that mindset is debilitating. It may be helpful in Afghanistan in a jungle with 300 fighters surrounding you, but it is not so helpful in a one-on-one relationship with the Creator God of the universe. When we talk about pride, we have to understand what it costs us.
Two months ago, after the 8:30 service, Susan came to the 8:30 service — she did not today, as she is not feeling well. She has been in bed for about eleven days now, and you can pray for her. I believe she simply has the flu and does not have much to fight it off with. I am going to spend a couple more days this week just staying around the house with her.
The Bumper Sticker Illustration
A couple of months ago, I didn't have to seek Susan out after the service. She was at the back door waiting for me. She said, "Hey, slick," and I said, "Yeah," and she said, "You've got an illustration in there you need to lose." I was pretty confident I knew what it was, but I played dumb and said, "I'm not sure, what are you talking about?" She said, "The illustration about the bumper sticker — you need to get rid of that. I don't know what your point is." So she's sick and not here today, so let me use the illustration again, and I'll put it in its right context.
The premise we have is this: we are more evil than we ever imagined and more loved than we ever dreamed. When we say evil, it's not just the big things — it's not like, "Oh, I could never commit murder." The real danger is the subtlety of it. I know the evil in my heart. I know the things I do and how bad they are. But sometimes they are so subtle you miss them entirely.
So the bumper sticker — the one that says "My kid is an honor student" — was not meant to be judgmental in any way, shape, or form. I was simply projecting myself into it. My question is: what is the point of that? Susan's point was that parents are proud of their kids, and I said, "That's exactly my point." I had to work her through it, and it didn't go so well.
That bumper sticker is not about building up your kid. If you want to build up your kid, take him out and get a cheeseburger. The point is that you want me to know your kid is an honor student — and I don't care. Why does it matter to me? The answer is pride. That is the subtle sin I'm talking about. I'm not talking about murdering people. I'm talking about the quiet, pervasive sin of pride.
Pride: The Root of All Sin
Pride is what C.S. Lewis called the ultimate, utmost evil. The first sin was a result of pride, and every sin since has been as well. It was Lucifer who said to the Lord, "I will, I will, I will." That sin of pride feeds all the other sins, and I need to get that into my head and understand it.
If humility is an ingredient for all the spiritual blessings — if it's the thing that allows us to see the blessings God has for us and to receive them — then it is the beginning of that relationship with Him. "Blessed are the poor in spirit" — the spiritually bankrupt. That is where it starts.
Seeing Ourselves as We Really Are
The key to humility, I think, is the ability to see ourselves not as we would like to see ourselves, but as we really are. That always sounds odd when I talk about it, because if you call somebody to strive for humility, the instinct is to strive for it, measure it, and then — when you succeed — become proud of how humble you are. The whole sequence falls into place, and that is the hideousness of this. The real key is to see myself as God sees me. One author puts it this way: humility is the virtue by which a man becomes conscious of his own unworthiness. That is why, in Luke 5, Peter can say to Jesus, "Depart from me, for I am a sinful man."
The key here is the evaluation process — specifically, what you are comparing yourself to. Someone asked me the other day, "Do you play golf?" I said yes. They asked, "Are you a good golfer?" Well, that depends. Compare me to Tiger and Phil, and no. Compare me to you, and yes. Are you a good singer? Compared to Sinatra, no. Compared to most people, very good. Are you a good thinker? If I surround myself with people who aren't thinking carefully, I seem sharp. Put me in a room with reasonably intelligent people, and no, I'm not a good thinker at all.
That is exactly the point. When I compare myself not to the brightest or the smartest, but to God Himself — that is the Isaiah 6 moment. That is what Paul saw on the Damascus Road. When you look at Paul's writing chronologically, there is a clear progression. He begins by calling himself the least among the apostles. A little later, he calls himself the least among the saints. A little later still, he calls himself the chief sinner of all. That progression happens as he walks with Christ over an extended period of time, because he is getting a more and more accurate view of God — and as that view of God grows clearer, so does his view of himself.
Humility and Unity in Ephesians 4
When I understand who I really am, and I have a mind that is not driven by what is important to me but by what is important to you, something shifts. There is suddenly an external focus. Going back to Philippians 2, that is exactly the mind Paul is describing.
And when we return to Ephesians chapter 4, that is what Paul is striving for there as well. He is saying: I want you thinking not about yourself, but about one another, so that there is unity within the body. That unity is driven by this sense of humility.
Gentleness: Strength Under Control
Now look at what Paul couples with humility — gentleness. Some translations will say meekness, and that may be the better word. The world tends to define gentleness as mild-spirited or even-tempered, with synonyms like timid or soft. But here is the great definition for it: strength under control.
The picture of it, again, is Jesus. He emptied Himself of His glory — not His deity — and took the form of a man.
Strength Under Control
Jesus on the cross is, to me, the clearest picture of this truth played out through a life. As He is hanging there, people walk by and say, "He saved others, but He couldn't save Himself." For me, that is the moment that would have pushed me over the edge if I were Him. But there is a truth to it: He did save others, and if He had saved Himself, He couldn't have saved you and me. That is strength under control. Nobody took His life. Isn't that what Jesus said? The good shepherd lays down His life. Nobody takes my life. I give it up voluntarily.
Three Attributes of Gentleness
As we look at the New Testament, we see three attributes associated with this idea of gentleness. The first is being submissive to God's will. Colossians 3:12 points us to understanding what God's will is — not where He would have you live, but His moral will, His spoken and declared will — and submitting ourselves to it. The second attribute comes from James 1:21: an attitude of teachableness. If I am meek, I am going to be coachable.
I was in a meeting the other day with a couple of guys who were trying to figure out some mentoring and they asked, "What would you put on a profile of what you look for in a protégé?" I said I always put at the top of the list: are they teachable, are they coachable? It doesn't matter how much potential they have, it doesn't matter how smart they are — none of those things matter if they won't listen. If they come in late, don't care about you, and won't listen, you are wasting your time. But if you are gentle, you are teachable.
The third attribute is from Ephesians 4:2: you are considerate of others. You are God-oriented and others-focused. So what Paul is saying is that he wants to see humility coupled with gentleness and also with patience.
Patience with Circumstances and People
Patience has two components: patience with circumstances and patience with people. It is also translated "long-suffering." I find myself very impatient, though I do think I am getting better — and maybe it is just because I am getting older and tired of fighting it. This morning at 4:47, I left the house. I was the only car on the road. I came to McQueen and Elliott — my nemesis. The light was green, so I sped up just a bit, and as I got closer it went to yellow and then red. I am sitting there at 4:49, not another car in sight, the light red, and everything in me is saying, just go. But I sat there and started laughing at myself, thinking: feel the angst you have over this. This is stupid, Tom.
I don't eat very often at McDonald's — there's no moral issue, I just don't eat there very often. I love a quarter pounder with cheese, ketchup only. That is my favorite from McDonald's. But when I go to McDonald's, I don't order that, because a quarter pounder with cheese, ketchup only is what they call a special order. I order whatever is ready. I'll say I'll have that blue one — the fish — and one of those yellows — the double cheeseburger. And I tell them not to ring it up first; I say go get them and put them in a bag, because I've had them ring it up before, somebody else grabs the items, and then I have to wait for them to make mine fresh. When I go to McDonald's, here is what I want: fast food. I don't go for the dining experience, I don't go for all the trappings — I want fast, I want quick. It really is amazing, because flipping a quarter pounder with cheese doesn't take any longer than it takes me to get napkins, wait a moment, and fill up a drink.
But the idea here goes deeper than patience with circumstances. It is patience with people. It is bearing insult and bearing injury. It is bearing other people's foolishness without irritation, understanding that you are going to be around people who say stupid things, dumb things, hurtful things — and you endure those. You don't try to get back. You don't try to enter into a debate, a discussion, a back-and-forth dialogue. If this diverse group is going to be held together, it is going to be held together by humility coupled with gentleness and filled with patience.
John MacArthur writes this: "The patient saint accepts God's planning for everything. He doesn't complain when his calling seems less glamorous than somebody else's, or when the Lord sends him to a place that's dangerous or difficult. He remembers that God the Son left a heavenly home, love and holiness and glory, and came to earth and was hated and rejected and spat on and crucified without once returning evil for evil or complaining to His Father." There is the role model.
Love: The Fourth Quality
The fourth quality is love — showing tolerance for one another in love. Those of you who have been around a while know that the Greeks had options in their language that we don't have. We have one word: love. They had at least four. There was eros, the male-female, sexual expression of love. There was filio, a reciprocated brotherly love — think Philadelphia. There was another word describing family affection. But the word used here is agape. It is unconditional and continual love and acceptance. Paul defines it a little earlier for us, and what we...
Love That Is Unconditional
In 1 Corinthians 13, the passage we identify as the love chapter, Paul says love is patient and love is kind. It is not jealous, it does not brag, it does not act arrogant, and it does not act unbecomingly. Here is really the secret, if you just pick one: it does not seek its own. It is not provoked. It does not take into account a wrong suffered. It does not keep score. It does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Paul is addressing a diverse, quirky group with all kinds of uniqueness, and what is going to hold it together is humility, gentleness, patience, and love — this unconditional, continuous acceptance for one another, seeking the highest for one another.
A Lesson from Nick Saban
We are taking baby steps into college football season. We are four months away, but College Football Live has started, so I get to Tivo that every day and work my way through it — a great 22 minutes every day. Last week they interviewed Nick Saban, head coach at the University of Alabama. I do not happen to be a fan of his, or Alabama, frankly, but he won the national title and they have a lot of guys back.
In the interview, Saban said that as he goes around the state of Alabama, all he keeps hearing is how much people love him — "We love you, Coach." But then he said, and these are his words, that he senses that love is probably conditional. He senses that if he loses two or three games, and loses to Auburn two or three years in a row, that love will not be as deep as it is right now.
Being an Iowa fan, I think about Kirk Ferentz, the head coach at Iowa, now in his twelfth year. Three years ago, after a couple of tough seasons, people wanted to get rid of him. Three years before that, they wanted to elect him governor, and now they think he is king again. I do not think he got dumber — some things just did not work, and that is the way things go.
Paul's point is that he wants us to love in a way that is unconditional, with tolerance and love for one another.
The New Commandment
That is exactly what Jesus said the night before He died, when He gathered the disciples together. It is John chapter 13, verse 34: "A new commandment I give you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples."
I love to point out that Jesus had a blank slate at that moment. He could have said anything — if you pray for one another, if you care, if you go to church, anything. But He said, here is how the world will know that you are Mine: if you love one another.
When the world, which does not even have a word for humility, looks at this body and sees individuals who are humble and gentle and patient and show tolerance and love for one another, there is also going to be something present in that body that you will not find anywhere else — and that is peace. "Be diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
Unity Does Not Mean Uniformity
Paul is not saying there should be no denominations. He is not saying there will not be individual expressions of all of this. There is nothing wrong with denominations, and there is nothing wrong with individual expressions. It is only human that some of us will emphasize perhaps one area of doctrine over another, or one expression over another.
I think you should know this, because it should matter to you as a body: once a quarter, we get together with the churches we have planted. Last Tuesday night, leaders were there from Grace Bible Church, Second Mile, Christ Church, Ponte Vita, and a couple of other churches we are in the process of planting. As we go around the room and talk, it is fascinating to hear common experiences alongside unique expressions.
If you take just Grace Bible, Second Mile, and Christ Church — and add East Valley — those are three very distinct expressions of brothers who believe doctrinally essentially the same things, but those beliefs manifest very differently. If you go to Grace Bible, you will have a different experience than if you go to Second Mile or Christ Church, and there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with different local expressions.
God is not saying through His Word that Christianity is one size fits all — that we should think the same, act the same, like the same songs, prefer the same expressions, and dress the same way.
When Small Things Become Big Things
Speaking of dress — this will probably be the last Sunday I wear slacks in the morning before it starts getting hot, and it always bothers me that I do. I wear shorts on Sunday night, but I wear these on Sunday morning, which creates two separate cultures. I know some people care about it, but it bugs me. I still yield to it because your elders are my elders too, and I ask every year if I can wear shorts on Sunday morning. They say no, but maybe they will change their minds.
That got me thinking about three instances from East Valley Bible Church where small things ended up becoming major blowups. Years ago, when we were over on Dobson, it was Christmastime. We had some kids singing, and some of those kids had on red hats. Between services, people were apparently very upset about that and went to the music team.
When Trivial Things Divide Us
The red hat on the platform is not bringing Santa into church. Some people were all bent out of shape about it, and they had the music team all bent out of shape too. If they had come to me, I would have been on my way to Walgreens to buy red hats for everybody. We have had families leave the church over a song called "Remember Your People" because it said God doesn't have amnesia. We had a couple leave because, in serving communion, the wife was somehow overlooked as the trays were passed down the rows, and they took it as a personal offense and proof that we didn't want her there.
With all due respect, that kind of thing is just dumb. There are legitimate reasons to divide — I understand that — but those are not among them. A few months ago I was at the gym without a headset, watching TV, and Larry King had a pastor on. I don't know the topic, I don't know anything about the context, but under the man's name the chyron read: "Against Yoga." I wouldn't go on Larry King to be known as against yoga. Is that what we want to present to the world — that we are against yoga, against certain hats, against certain words, or that we'll leave if communion passes us by?
Disagreement Without Division
There are supposed to be differences among believers, and there are legitimate things to disagree on. George Whitfield was a Calvinist; John Wesley was an Arminian, and there was severe disagreement between them over those truths. One of Whitfield's followers once asked him, "Do you think we'll see Wesley in heaven?" Whitfield replied, "No, I don't think we will — I think he'll be up there so close to Jesus, and we'll be so far back, that we won't have a chance of seeing Wesley." That is the right posture: humility about our differences, not contempt.
The world looks at church conflict, though, and they mock it. I was teaching a couple of Christmases ago and walking out when a man from another church in town said he didn't understand why the church wasn't effective at reaching the world. I told him I could help with that. If someone walks into his church from the outside and finds a war raging over music — the volume, the lyrics, the style — they are not going to find that winsome. That is not a picture that draws people in.
The Call to Unity
What Paul is saying is that there is to be a picture of unity in the church. The world is always trying to find some way to reconcile, but the church is meant to actually achieve it. It cannot achieve it, however, without humility and gentleness and patience, tolerance in love, and diligent effort to keep the peace. If we are not diligently tending to those things, if we let grievances accumulate, we will watch church after church implode.
When you get to verses 4, 5, and 6, you see the word "one" repeated throughout. Many scholars believe that these verses were actually a confessional hymn sung in the early church. There is one body, one Spirit, one calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, and one Father over all. That is the foundation of Christian unity — not uniformity of opinion, but oneness rooted in shared allegiance to the same Lord.
One Body, No Favoritism
Now let me take what we would all say "amen" to and apply it in our context. What Paul is driving toward is the removal of distinctions that fracture the body — the distinction between Jew and Gentile in his day, and by extension the tendency to show favoritism toward male or female, free or slave, legal or illegal. When you talk about harmony and you talk about pressure, there is perhaps no issue carrying more pressure right now in this state than that last one.
It is important for us to understand this: there are brothers and sisters in this room who love Jesus Christ as much as you do and who are here illegally. This is a genuinely difficult problem. Peggy Noonan, who is not a screaming liberal but a conservative Republican writing in the Wall Street Journal, said last Friday that the core issue is this — the government will not close the border, and they cannot deal with anything else until they do.
What is critical to understand is that this has not been a partisan failure. Obama did not close the border. Bush did not close the border. Clinton did not close the border. Reagan did not close the border. Carter, Ford, Nixon, Johnson, Kennedy — none of them closed it. And you know full well that if they wanted that border closed, it would be closed. They can send a drone into a cave in Afghanistan, and we are supposed to believe they cannot stop that border? They can stop it if they want to. They simply have not wanted to, for whatever their reasons may be.
Now this issue has become so polarized between Republican and Democrat, with both sides screaming for their own political benefit — not for resolution, but for their own benefit. People are scared, and I understand that. I understand Romans 13. But I also understand John 13. Until you have a face attached to this issue, it is easy to stand on the outside and shoot at it. But there are people who are stuck, and until we understand that, we cannot begin to think about it the way the body of Christ is called to.
Loving the Difficult to Love
I have two girls who come to a Priority Living study. They are both here illegally. One is nineteen, one is twenty-one. Their dad and mom brought them up when they were three and five years old. They had nothing to do with this. This is all they know. One was valedictorian of a preparatory high school — we are talking classics. The other is a straight-A student. These two happen to be working in Young Life, working with young people in central Phoenix. You will not go down there and work, but you want them here.
We have a deeply troubled situation here, caused by the government, perpetuated by government and business, and then exploited by people who take advantage of it because there is a job here. And the charge for crossing that border? It is a misdemeanor — the equivalent of getting a speeding ticket on the 202. I do not know if you knew that. So when my Christian friends ask, "Can you be a Christian and cross that border?" I ask them, "Can you be a Christian and speed?"
You have people who have nothing. You have people down there who have nothing, and a situation has been created by government and business that says, "Come here and work for us, work for less money, be exploited, and we will all enjoy lesser costs and lesser expense." We take advantage of it. It is ugly. It is complicated. It is confused.
Step one is to secure the border, but until the government says they are ready to do that, the rest of this is just idle conversation. They do not have the will to do it. Hear me clearly: ten presidents have not done it — conservative Republican, liberal Democrat. But these people are brothers and sisters. What do you do with them?
What Do We Do With Them?
As I said, I have Romans 13, but what about John 13? Love one another. What do you do when this is the only thing you know? You are fifteen or sixteen years old, you did not ask to come here, you were brought up here when you were one year old. What do you do with them? What do you do with people who have been here three decades and own houses?
Ponte Vita, our Spanish-speaking church, had twenty churches come in for a youth event last week. I was talking to Jose Manuel today, and he told me they had a hundred and twenty-five junior high and high school kids. He said the majority of the time those kids were praying for strength and comfort, because they are very afraid. That is the world we live in.
So all I am doing is laying some things out. I am not even giving you a definitive view. All I am saying is this: rather than trying to figure out what the Republican Party, the Tea Party, or the Democrat Party would do, ask what God speaks into this issue. Ask what the Bible speaks into it. I think that changes the equation a little bit.
I acknowledge this is tough. I hear people say, "What part of illegal do you not understand?" And I ask them, "What part of love your neighbor as yourself do you understand?" It is a really tough issue. It just is — especially when you look at it in this light, and especially when you know that many of these people love Christ as much as you do, or more.
One Body, One Spirit, One God
It is not entirely unlike the situation we just looked at, where we rejoiced when Jew and Gentile were brought together and barriers were broken down. You have the same thing here. He said we are of one body, one Spirit — the Holy Spirit — one calling, one Lord, one faith, one body of truth, one baptism. And we can close with this summary in verse 6: "one God and Father of all who is in all and who is over all." It is Jesus.
Saint Anthony writes it this way: we are God-created, God-loved, God-saved, God-fathered, God-controlled, God-sustained, God-filled, and God-blessed. We are one people under one sovereign over all, one omnipotent through all, and one omnipresent in all God. All of us. Black, white, rich, poor, short, tall, legal, illegal.
We will pick up right there next week and talk about the body — He says we need all of us in the body as it comes together. Father, help us see these truths and let them change the way we see the world. Help us to see You, and then to begin to see ourselves and to see others. Father, thank You for the grace and mercy You have extended to us, for the love You have for us. God, I pray that we would be a people who bring honor and glory to You. In Christ's name, amen.