John - Loved Without Condition
Tom Shrader contrasts the conditional nature of human love with the unconditional love God demonstrates in John 3:16 and Romans 5, where Paul describes God reconciling enemies, sinners, and the helpless to Himself. Drawing on everyday illustrations and a vivid imaginary dialogue with Jesus, Shrader drives home the point that God's love is never earned and never lost through failure or poor performance. He closes by connecting this truth to outward mission, urging students to absorb God's love so deeply that it compels them to live as salt and light in the world around them.
“God loves you in spite of you, not because of you — He cannot and ever will love you any more than He does right now, and He will never love you any less.”
— Tom Shrader
Series: GCU: Chapel Services
Recorded: 2015 at Grand Canyon University
Duration: 28 min
Themes: unconditional love, grace, forgiveness, mission, acceptance, identity, evangelism, salt and light, feeling unworthy, struggling with shame, doubting god's love, young adult, college student, new believer, performance-based faith, searching for identity
Scripture: John 3:16, Romans 5:1, Romans 5:6, Romans 5:8, Romans 5:10, 2 Corinthians 5, Matthew 5
Theological Themes: agape love, justification, reconciliation, atonement, romans 5, john 3:16, depravity, missional living
Full Transcript
The Question Behind Christmas
The holiday season is approaching, and that drove a little bit of what I wanted to talk about this morning. I teach a study on Wednesdays and Thursdays, and I've done it for twenty-five years. We're getting into Christmas, so I thought, well, I'll do Christmas. And then I asked myself, what is Christmas? Here's what I came up with: Mary, Joseph, angels, shepherds, Jesus — the full picture. And I thought, that feels like it's been done before.
So I was making all sorts of notes, and I asked myself a question that became the real impetus for this morning: why? It's as simple as the verse that is probably the most familiar verse in all of Scripture — John 3:16: "For God so loved the world that He gave."
I don't know if you understand how a chapel like this comes together, but three or four months ago someone calls and says, on the 16th, can you be here at 11:45? And I say yes. I didn't coordinate anything with the band. It was interesting to me that the first song was all about God's love, and the last song was about running to His arms — with the implication and emphasis not just on me running to His arms, but on Him standing there with His arms open.
So here is what I want to talk about today: love.
What We Mean When We Say "I Love You"
Love is so common. We use it in our vocabulary every day. I made a list of what I love — pizza, movies, music, Iowa football. We use that word all the time. We love places and things, and then we go a little deeper and talk about people.
I have eight grandchildren, and it is really wonderful to watch the youngest ones as they get to be about three and start to communicate. They will say, "I love you, Papa. I love Sandy. I love Mom. I love Dad. I love my brothers. I love my sisters." Our world starts to open up as we venture out into relationships.
I remember the very first time, as a senior in high school, when a girl said to me, "I love you." I didn't know what to do, so I said, "I love you" back. I wasn't fully aware of what that meant at the time.
Here is what I have discovered. In John 3:16, God says, "I love you," and we say, "I love you," and we use the same words but with entirely different meanings. When I say "I love you" in a human sense, it carries with it the idea of "I love you if," or "I love you when," or "I love you because." I love you right now, and I might love you a little more if you did this or that — and I might not love you if —
Love That Comes With Conditions
The nature of what I do — not anymore, but in the early days — involved a fair share of marriage counseling, and those are tough situations. It was not at all uncommon for a couple to be sitting in front of me and have the wife or the husband say, "If I knew that about you, I would have never married you."
Here is what is interesting about that. The vows assume problems. I just did a wedding — I had not done one in probably three or four years. This guy called, and he was just a cool guy, and he said, "Will you do the wedding?" I said, "Maybe — can I meet with you both first?" The gal was really cool. They were charming. They were a great couple. It was an amazing day. She looked awesome, he looked great, and the weather was perfect.
And here is what they said: "I'll love you for better or worse, rich or poor, in sickness and in health, till death do us part." Now let me tell you something about those vows. When you go to a wedding, that is not a man and a woman simply saying, "I love you now." What it is saying is: I will love you forever. It implies difficulty.
Sandy and I have been married 42 months. We had a really small wedding — my daughters were there, their husbands, and two of the grandkids. We had breakfast, then went up on the roof of a hotel, and we said, "For better or worse, rich or poor, in sickness and in health, till death do us part." Two weeks later, I was in bed twenty hours a day. I was so sick, and it has continued that way in some measure ever since.
People would hear this and say to me, "Sandy didn't sign up for that." I would understand what they were saying, but after a while it started to frustrate me, and I would say, "No — that is exactly what she signed up for. She said for better or worse. She just thought I would make it longer than two weeks."
The Conditions We Attach to Love
We know statistically that roughly half of marriages end in divorce. So two people who stood up and said "I will love you forever" — something changed. Our relationships are deeply conditional.
I was in the car the other day, and I turned on the holiday music station on my satellite radio. Yesterday was Saturday, and they were playing "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." For whatever reason, I was really listening to the words. Let me read them to you:
*You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why, Santa Claus is coming to town. He's making a list, he's checking it twice, he's going to find out who's naughty and nice, Santa Claus is coming to town. He sees you when you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake. He knows when you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness' sake.*
In other words: if you are nice, you will be rewarded. If you are naughty, you will not be punished exactly, but the good things will not be coming your way either. That is human love. That is the human "I love you."
I learned as a kid — and I was a big kid in Little League — that if I went two for three, the ride home was very different than when I went zero for three. If grades were good, it felt as though my parents responded in a totally different way. From the time I was little, I learned that everything is based on performance. And then I realized it was not just me.
Last Saturday I was speaking at a men's breakfast, and a man got up to tell his story. It went back to when he was twelve years old. It was a baseball game, and he did not perform. It is the same story all over again — and you have experienced some version of it too.
God's Love Is Not Based on Performance
Here is my big point — a huge point. When God says "I love you," it is not based on your performance. It is not a love that will end if your performance changes.
Here is what I think happens. We come to God, He says "I love you," and we say "I love you too." But what we actually think — and I am convinced this is true for many of us — is: *God, I know You love me, but You only love me if, or when, or because.* That conditions the entire relationship. We are afraid that when we hear it from Him, it will come attached to our performance. We think His love is conditional — He will love me if.
What a distorted relationship that is. And my guess is that many of you are caught in that same cycle. Maybe you were raised in that kind of environment. Maybe nobody ever taught you explicitly — it just felt implied. You carried the idea of love to its natural conclusion, because it is the way everyone around you loved.
But listen to this: *"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son."* Here is the big idea — the thing worth writing down. God loves you in spite of you.
God's Unconditional Love
You and I love in a conditional way. I love you *if*. I love you *when*. I love you *because*. God loves you differently. He cannot and never will love you any more than He does right now, and He will never love you any less. He loves you in spite of you.
Let me read three verses from Romans 5, where Paul lays out the idea that we have peace with God through Jesus Christ. Romans 5:6: "For while we were still helpless." Verse 8: "God demonstrated His love toward us in that while we were yet sinners." Verse 10: "While we were enemies, God reconciled us to Himself." While we were sinners. Helpless. One author writes this: Jesus is not in love with some future version of what you might be, or what you used to be. He loves you right where you are.
That is an overwhelming thought. Your reaction might easily be, "Wait, does He not know everything about me?" God will never say, "I love you, and I chose you, and I saved you, but I wouldn't have done it if I knew that about you." He knows everything there is to know about you. Everything you have ever done. Everything you are doing right now. Everything you will do. And He loves you.
An Imaginary Conversation with Jesus
I was doing some reading the other day and came across an author's imaginary conversation with Jesus. Let me read it to you.
*Jesus, you have no idea how bad I've been.* Yes, I do. In fact, I expect worse out of you than you expect out of yourself. *Jesus, what if I don't even get better?* I'll always love you. *Jesus, what if I do it again?* We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I've got a plan. *Jesus, what if I just give up on you?* I'll never quit on you. *Jesus, how do you expect me to forgive when somebody's hurt me?* Just give them what I gave you — grace. *Jesus, but what about how insensitive they've been to me?* Charge it to my account.
*Jesus, I'm tired.* I'll be your rest. *Jesus, are you mad at me?* I love you. *Jesus, what do you want me to do for you?* Don't be so quick to work for me. Everybody wants to work for me. I want you to know Me and live in My love and know that I accept you. *Jesus, what if I fall asleep when I pray?* I'm happy you feel comfortable in My presence. *Jesus, what if I don't understand all the Bible?* I'm the Word of the Bible.
Just a footnote there. We study the Word of God so that we can know the God of the Word. It is not about becoming a whiz in the Scripture so we can win a category on Jeopardy. It is not about going every Sunday to a little mini-seminary class. I study the Word of God so I can know the God of the Word.
*Jesus, what if I'm lazy?* You're distracted. You can change. *Jesus, I'm mad.* I'll take your anger. *Jesus, I'm disappointed.* Keep looking at Me. *Jesus, I'm sad.* I know. I see you. Want to talk about it? *Jesus, I'm drunk.* You're My friend. *Jesus, I stole. Jesus, I'm lustful.* Give Me your heart. *Jesus, I hate myself.* My love for you will drown out your hate for you. *Jesus, they told me I could lose my salvation. Is that true?* If you could lose it, don't you think you would have lost it by now? *Jesus, I repent.* Let's get on living now.
Christianity Is Christ
John Stott writes this: "If the essence of Christianity is neither a creed, nor a code, nor a cult, what is it? It's Christ." These are life-changing words.
Now, here is my fear — that they are words you have heard in every chapel you have been in, in every service you have been in. If you ran into somebody today and they said, "I didn't get to chapel this morning, what did he talk about?" and you said, "Well, he talked about God loves us," they might say, "I'm glad I didn't go to that. I've heard that." But I am talking about this in a brand new way. He loves you.
Some of us are at different places spiritually. Some of you have never come to Him in repentance and faith. All of this — all these songs, running to His arms, resting in His everlasting comfort — is based on the fact that we have come to Him in repentance and faith, that we acknowledge we are sinners and that our sin has separated us from God, and that His solution to that is Jesus. But He does not stop loving us once we come into that relationship. You are not on probation with God.
I remember when I went to college. I was the freshman class president, and the next year I ran for re-election — which gives you a sense of how I did academically my first year — but I was on academic probation every semester. That experience can feed into the idea that now I come to God and He has me on probation. No, He does not. He loves you unconditionally.
Love That Transforms, Not Excuses
I think we need to add this quickly: unconditional love is not an excuse to do whatever I want to do. When somebody demonstrates that kind of love and I begin to absorb it, all of a sudden I am motivated to live for and love that person. One author writes this: "We are intended to be conduits through which Jesus pours His love into the world."
When I came in this morning, there was a student in the back knitting. My mom used to knit all the time and I had not seen it in a while, so I asked about it. She told me she was making headbands and other items to sell in order to finance a mission trip. That is a clear and overt example, but every day is a mission trip for us. You are God's conduit to the world. How does the world know that Jesus loves them? They see you, and you tell them.
Matthew chapter 5 says, "You are the light of the world. Let your light shine in such a way that people see your good works and glorify your Father that is in heaven." The love that God gives you does not produce complacency. It produces a response that says, I love Him so much that it is going to transform the way I live. Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 5 that the love of Christ compels us.
God's Love as Our Motivation
Why do you do what you do? In its simplest form, what Paul is saying is that God loves us. The more we understand that, the more we will be like Him, and the more we will take this message to a lost and dying world. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ. It is a simple idea — really basic — but do you see it? God loves you in spite of you. You do not have to perform for Him.
Here is what the Bible tells us: the fruit of the Spirit, the evidence that the Holy Spirit is living in you, is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. He loves you, and therefore those characteristics appear in your life.
Closing Prayer
Father, thank You that You love us in spite of who we are, not because of who we are. Our love is always relational and conditional — we love if, then, when, because — but God, You simply love. You showed it by sending Jesus. Father, I pray that that transforming truth would be driven by Your Spirit into our minds and our hearts, and that when we leave this place, we will impact the world because we become salt and light and love to the people around us.
Father, thanks for family and friends, and especially at this time of year, as some of the students go home perhaps for the very first time since school started, let our families first and foremost see the reality of a changed, transformed, growing life. God, thank You for loving us while we were helpless, while we were sinners, while we were enemies of Yours. We pray to You in Jesus' name, amen.