December 2020
The holiday season is here! For our family, the kickoff is turkey, stuffing, and way too much food. The following days are full of Christmas decorations, hot cocoa, peppermint, chocolate chip cookies, pine fragrance, and eventually an extra-special day that begins with BOSA donuts, Velveeta cheese queso, ballpark pretzels, Sonic burgers, and junk food – LOTS of junk food -- November 28 -- Tom's birthday.
Tom loved Thanksgiving and Christmas. He enjoyed waking up to the twinkling Christmas lights as he savored his first cup of coffee of the day. In fact, in early January 2019, less than a week after I took down the tree and decorations, Tom asked if I would put the tree back up for him so that he could enjoy it one last time. On that particular day, we had just found out that Tom's time on earth was coming to an end. Little did we know that in less than 72 hours Tom would take his first breath in heaven.
Last year for Tom's birthday I penned him a letter telling the God stories, the progress, the funny and ironic happenstances from life, family, and friends. I told Tom how proud I was of everyone and how well we had done in the midst of our grief and sadness. I told him we missed him, but we were doing okay. I wrote how I hoped and wished that he was seeing us from heaven and smiling.
This year as November 28 drew near, I actually thought that maybe sharing 2020 with Tom was not a good idea. I felt a sense of dread and trepidation because there have been more than a few times this year when I was hoping Tom WASN'T watching from above. I just knew that Tom would be very disappointed, frustrated, and just plain mad about our crazy world -- the changes, the unraveling of so much, the strife, and the depth of our individual and collective sin.
But, wait a minute! Who am I to judge? Why am I making God so small and the issues of this world so big? And who am I to think that Tom -Tom Shrader- who gave so freely of his time, his kingdom gifts and himself would criticize? Tom was not that kind of a guy. When Tom gave, he gave without reservation. He shared his faults, his suffering, and his time and energy as he preached biblical truths and grace without condition. He knew that we were all sinners in need of a savior and God sent His son Jesus to this earth to be born and ultimately to die for our sins. Tom knew God could save even the worst of the worst sinners, reconcile the darkest of souls, and redeem unfathomable situations.
Why was I allowing my joy to be taken by the world? I know better.
In review of Tom's messages, I came across two of my favorites from this season. Typically, between Thanksgiving and Christmas Tom would teach at Scottsdale Bible Church one Sunday each year. Here is Tom's 2013 message entitled, "What you know trumps what you Feel", followed by his 2018 message, "Peace". You'll see the dramatic change in Tom's health, yet, even in the midst of Tom's pain and suffering, his excitement and zest for sharing God's word shines brightly. Each message is relevant and timely as we continue to navigate COVID and its ripple effects on our family holiday traditions, shifts in the economy, job loss, relational strain, grief, and sadness. I continue to be in awe of how God used and still uses Tom in such a mighty way AND how blessed we are to have known Tom during his time on earth. For more of Tom's messages, please check out https://www.prioritylivingaz.org/.
What You Know Trumps What You Feel
Peace
Getting back to Tom’s birthday letter, I caught a glimpse of how God has been working in me and pulling me closer to Him as I wrote to Tom.
God challenged me to sacrificially give more of my (God's) money, time, and talents to family, friends, and the community around me.
God let me see deep into the crevices of my mind and heart and helped me forgive and let go of angst and bitterness that had been festering for years.
God pushed me to release possessions, habits, and situations that were barriers to Him, His love, grace, and joy.
God blessed me through Covid-19 to see the importance of slowing down, spending time in His Word, living simply, and applying a "less is better" mentality to almost every aspect of life.
And, even though the world is a bit whacked and seemingly out of control, I can still see God wooing sinners to Him as He loves and cares for those of us who already know Him as our Lord and Savior.
By the way, if you are wondering if I left anything out of Tom’s letter, I did. I omitted the fact that Tom's favorite spot on the sofa has been taken over by Finley, my furry grand-dog. I thought it might be better not to share with Tom that he has been replaced by a furry, smelly mutt.
I hope and pray that as you and your family celebrate the birth of Jesus this year, you can see God’s love and grace shining through the many disruptions and distortions of 2020. God IS faithful and He IS using all things for our good and His glory. Thank goodness.
Have a blessed and joyous Christmas season!