1 John 3 - Love Your Brothers
Tom Shrader examines the moral tests of authentic Christianity from 1 John 3, focusing on two key evidences: righteous living and love for fellow believers. He challenges listeners to examine whether they genuinely love their brothers in Christ through patience, kindness, and practical acts of service including financial generosity. Using the negative example of Cain, Shrader warns against jealousy and pride that destroy Christian fellowship, calling believers to demonstrate Christ-like love through availability, encouragement, and meeting one another's needs.
“A Christian is someone who confesses sin and confesses that Jesus Christ is Lord, and we put those together and we get a sense of what a Christian is.”
— Tom Shrader
Series: 1 John
Recorded: March 14, 1989
Duration: 43 min
Themes: love, brotherhood, generosity, kindness, patience, service, jealousy, fellowship, questioning salvation, struggling with jealousy, new believer, church member, feeling distant from others, needing encouragement, young adult, experiencing church conflict
Scripture: 1 John 3:4-18, 1 Corinthians 13, Genesis 4, Romans, Psalm 31
Theological Themes: assurance, sanctification, christian living, biblical love, moral tests, authentic faith, spiritual fruit, christian unity
Full Transcript
John, and we're in the third chapter. We've been talking about what it means to be a Christian, and we have spent three or four weeks really looking at what has to be, at least in my mind, one of the most important things we can talk about. If you haven't been here for the last couple of weeks, maybe you're here for the first time, I don't think you could have picked a better week to be here. Any time that we're going to talk about what it means to be a Christian, to me, is the most important conversation we can have.
John has been saying to us a couple of things. Here's the first way. It's a doctrinal way. This is always scary, because this is a reflection on how poorly the teaching has been, but John has said doctrinally, we know we're a Christian if we confess two things. If we confess sin, if we acknowledge sin—confess means to agree or to acknowledge. If we take sin and we confess that we are sinful, we acknowledge that we're a sinner, that's one prerequisite. The other is to confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.
We put those together and we get a sense of what a Christian is. A Christian is someone who confesses sin. They acknowledge that they've sinned. They have the ability to say, I've sinned.
Examples of Failing to Confess Sin
It's been almost two years now, but we still like to beat Gary Hart up every now and then. If you remember that whole scenario as it unfolded, and if you remember the conference after conference after conference when he said, "What I made was a mistake. I made a mistake. It wasn't a big mistake." As he talked, what he essentially said to us was he made an error in scheduling, not an adultery.
We talked last week about an athlete who's been in the news lately and fathered a couple of children here and now got married over here and wants to take care of the children that he fathered. He said he wants to do that because he's a Christian. In fact, he was on the other night with Larry King for a half hour, and they talked for a half hour. Finally somebody called in, an irate woman, and said, "Do you think you've sinned?" And he said, "Well, maybe in some sort of a..." No.
Well, that man's not a Christian. Here's how we make that statement, not judgmentally. We make that statement so you and I can see what a Christian really is: a man who confesses Jesus and a man who confesses sin. That's the doctrinal test.
The Moral Test of Christian Living
Now John also says that there is a moral test. Internally, you can know that you're a Christian doctrinally by the confession of sin and by the confession of Jesus as Lord, but now comes the day-to-day living. Now it's going to affect the way you live. John said it's going to affect the way we live in two ways. The first one we looked at last week, it's in 1 John, in the third chapter, essentially the fourth verse: won't continue in sin. There'll be righteous living.
He said this: "Everyone who practices lawlessness is sin." There's a definition of sin for you—it's lawlessness. If we want to live as though we are above the law, if we want to pretend that there is no God, that in fact I am God, I'm in control of this situation, I'll make the rules—if that's the way we want to do it, then we will sin. We can pretend that for a while. We can pretend there's no rules.
We see the truth of that so graphically in the physical world. We can climb up to the 20th floor of a high-rise building and leap off and pretend there's no law of gravity. Just pretend it doesn't exist. I may even be convinced that it doesn't exist. But there is a time, no matter what I believe, in which the laws of the universe take over and I pay the consequence for that sin. If that's true in the physical realm, and it is, it's just as true in the spiritual realm.
The Impossibility of Continuing in Sin
If you practice lawlessness, I want you to know something: you're not righteous. Verse 6: "No one who abides in Him"—capital H—"no one who abides in Christ, sins. No one who's sinned has seen Him or know Him." That's a pretty big statement.
The NIV says it a little more clearly. The NIV says it this way: "No one who lives in Him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen Him or know Him." It's a continuing sense. The verb in the original language is a continuing sense. It doesn't say you'll never sin, but it does say this: you will not continue in a state of sin. You cannot. You cannot continue in a state of sin. It will eat you alive.
In fact, remember, that's what happened to David. He cries out in Psalm 31—remember what he says? He said, "This thing is eating me up. It's eating me up physically. I'm starting to waste away physically." Almost inevitably, when some guy walks in and he's lost a bunch of weight, or he looks massively different, almost always there's sin in his life.
Sin's Physical and Spiritual Effects
A guy yesterday came up down in Tucson and I said, "Boy, you've lost a lot of weight." He said, "Well, I've literally—my business has been so far down and so far out and so far away that I've literally quit functioning." And he said, "I'm just now pulling myself with the help of the Lord Jesus Christ back out of this thing." See, and that's what sin does.
You may be thinking this guy wasn't in sin. I'll tell you what he was: he was worried about his business. And God said, sin and worry go hand in hand. It's a sin for you and I to worry. Can you believe that? It's a sin to be anxious. He said, "Don't be anxious about anything." The picture in the original language, the word anxious means to be pulled in two directions. Don't be anxious. Don't be pulled in two directions. Don't be pulled away from this mission that you have to serve the Lord Jesus Christ by worrying about this stupid real estate deal.
Right Living as a Test of Faith
And that's not just some gymnastics to get us around it so we can think about it. Hey, we're human beings. If I had my little girl in here and I had her sitting up on this thing and she jumped off on her face and her nose is laying over to the side, I'm going to move. I'm going to be anxious. I'm going to be concerned about that, but I'm not going to be fretting and worrying and wringing my hands back and forth and so incapacitated that I can't function. He said if you're like that, if something in your life has gotten to that point that it has literally paralyzed you, He said you're in sin, deep sin.
He lays it out. He says this: there are two tests morally. The first one is going to be right living. He said if somebody's involved in sin continually, ongoingly, and they don't confess, they're not Christian.
I had a guy come up—this is my, I love this. We taught this a week ago and I understand that this is fairly hard stuff and I know that not everybody on every street corner is teaching it. I know that. But I'll tell you this, this guy came up. He's been in our study down in Mesa and he came up afterwards. He's from an alcoholic background, he's been dry a couple of years, just been around this about a year now. We taught that last time and he came up and he said, "You know that John is right." I said, "Well, I kind of started with that basic supposition, but it's kind of neat to know that."
But he said, "You know, that's right because I've got all these friends and you know what? They all say they're Christians. We were all just alike, but I'm the only one that's changed." He said, "They're not Christians. They don't even really believe in Christ, but they're not involved in church. They don't go to Bible study. They don't pray. They don't do anything." He said, "They're not Christian, are they?" And I said, "No, probably not because that's what God says, men."
Faith Must Transform Your Life
God says this: If you come to Christ in repentance and faith, your life will change. If it doesn't change, watch out. If you're still doing business the same old way, watch out, man. It should be a delight to do business with a Christian. It should be a joy to do business with a Christian because you should know exactly where you stand. The Christian should be the ultimate businessman.
I was reading something the other day, a VP of marketing of IBM, and he's talking about the secret of IBM and why IBM is so successful. And he was saying, essentially, it's because we're in the people business. We're here to serve. We're here to provide the best product we can. We're here to have our people do the best that they can. We're here to meet the customer's needs. Well, men, that's exactly the way a Christian ought to be doing business.
And if somehow in your mind you have said, "Well, this Christian stuff, it has a place in the church and it has a place on Thursday morning. It has a place in the family. Okay, God's got some stuff to say about how I deal with my family, but He sure doesn't have anything to say about business," men, you've never read the book. God says this should affect every aspect of your life.
The Test of Integrity Under Pressure
And let me tell you, when the real test of that comes, it comes in a down market, comes when the notes are due, come the pressure's on. Now's the time that there's a test. One jerk can't pay his bills when he's got plenty of cash. That's something that I used to deal with it, but aside from that, most everybody can handle those things. Those become personal integrity tests of how we disperse the money.
But now comes the real test of how do you do business. Now you've got this dog that you bought. This was going to put you on easy street. And now it's time to sell this dog because it is truly a dog. And now you're trying to wrestle with how do we let this thing bark in front of a potential client? I mean, how big a dog is this? And how do we sell it? Men, this is a time of integrity.
And let me just tell you something, God will honor your integrity in business. That's what it says. It says, "Seek the kingdom of God and He'll take care of all the other things." And that's exactly what John said.
What Does It Mean to Make Jesus Number One?
A little detour. And this is a little different than we normally do it. The setup is different and we'll be back to normal as soon as the hotel is. But let me just ask you this. I hear this all the time. I hear this so much. It's kind of like a lot of things—it's just been a cliche. But what's it mean to make Jesus number one in my life? That's what somebody said the other day: "I've made Jesus number one in my life." What does that mean? Anybody?
There's no wrong answer to this. I'll give you the first and foremost. What does that mean? It means I put all my trust and faith in Him and carry on. I'm obedient to Him. Anybody else? Turn my life and my will over to His care. Do it exactly how He would do it. Anybody else? He's always my first consideration. He's always the first consideration. Just trust Him.
See, I think you've got to put all those together. And everybody's saying exactly what I think it means to have Him number one. It means I'm going to place Him first. Here's what it means: My life is, if you'll allow the term, value-driven by His values.
The Problem with Ethics Without God
We did a goofy talk show the other day, a call-in radio show on ethics. And it's kind of interesting because ethics is all vogue again. I picked an article out of the Wall Street Journal where one of the headliners said, "Ethics of value but can be a handicap, declare some executives." We live in a world that's struggling for ethics. And you know what? The world is going to continue to struggle. And they're going to study it. As you know now, it's now part of a curriculum at major universities. They're teaching ethics in high school.
The problem is this: Ethics is value-driven. What's the basis? I mean, I can sit down with John Wayne Gacy, and under his economy, he sees himself as an ethical man. Isn't that true? See, to have Jesus number one means I'm
going to take His word. I'm going to get His thought. I'm going to be obedient to His mind. And then I'm going to view my life from His perspective. And here's the greatest management book ever written. I went to the bookstore the other day, and there's this whole wall on business management. That's really good, and we need that stuff. But if it's not based on this, I'll live a long time without it.
See, this will drive it. And if you do this, and if you follow the principles that God lays out in His word, you will have the perfect management system. That's what His word says. And that's what He says clearly.
The Two Tests of Faith
Now, verse 10 becomes a transition verse. And he transitions into where we're going today. He said moral behavior exhibits itself in two ways. Number one, right living. Number one, I live correctly. Here's the second one. Here's the transition verse, verse 10. He summarizes, and then he redirects his efforts. He says this: "By this the children of God and the children of the devil are obvious. Anyone who does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor the one who loves his brother."
He said here are the two tests. It's the one we were just talking about. One of them will be righteousness. There's going to be a lifestyle that's right living. A Christian is going to live correctly. Correctly by God's standards. Not by the world's standards. Not by what is legal. Not by what's morally acceptable in society. But what God declares correct.
Here's the second test, guys. And can I tell you, this is maybe even a bigger test. He says, I will begin to love my brother. Verse 11: "This is the message which I heard from the beginning, that we should love one another."
Love One Another - The Message from the Beginning
As a teacher, every time I hear that little phrase, "This is what you heard from the beginning," I begin to cringe. Because you know what that means? He's about to say the same thing over again. Which means I just used every illustration I had to make the point the first time. Here's what he's saying. He said, you heard this from day one. You're supposed to love one another.
Let me put that in a little bit different text. That word love is so bantered around. And we hear it so much. My daughter just said to me last night, "I love pizza." I'm not sure that's what John has in mind as he writes this. But we use that word in so many ways.
Understanding Biblical Love Through 1 Corinthians 13
There's a section of scripture, and let me just read it to you from the Living Bible. It's a section of scripture that you hear every time you have to go to a wedding. It's 1 Corinthians chapter 13. It's the love chapter. But I want you to listen to it a little differently today. I want you to listen to it from the perspective of loving one another in this room.
There was a day and an age when I would have had a hard time saying, "Okay, man, I want you to love one another." That thought process just didn't come through my mind. In fact, guys that did love one another, I used to think were all California residents. I mean, that just was my perspective on life. I just didn't buy that. But I now know that that's not the case, that there are men who love one another, and not only men who do, but we are commanded to. This is in the imperative form. He says this, you and I are to love the brothers in Christ.
Let me just read to you what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13 about love. If you have it, fine. If not, just listen from the Living Bible. "If I had the gift of being able to speak in other languages without learning them and could speak in every language that there is on heaven and earth, but I didn't love others, I'd be making... If I had the gift of prophecy and knew all what was going to happen in the future, if I knew everything about everything but didn't love others, what good would it do? Even if I had the gift of faith so I could speak to mountains and they would move, I would still be worth nothing at all without love. If I gave everything I have to the poor people, and if I were burned alive for preaching the gospel but didn't love others, it would be of no value whatever."
The Definition of Biblical Love
You get a sense of the high value that Paul places on love, and now he defines it for us. "Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is never jealous or envious. Love never boasts, is never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly do it wrong. It will never be glad about injustice but will rejoice when truth wins. If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best from him, and always stand your ground in defending him."
Now, John says that's the attitude we're to have for one another.
The Challenge: Do You Really Love Your Brothers?
Let me ask you this. Do you love your brothers in Christ? This is targeted for those of you that are Christians. I don't know all of you. Maybe you are and maybe you aren't. But here's a real test. Do you love your brothers? Do you love the fellow Christians? Do you spend time with them? Are you involved on a weekly basis in a church?
Man, this isn't a church. This is a hotel. And we're not a church and we're not here to replace a church. We're here to try to reach out to some of you that wouldn't even be part of a church. And we're doing a pretty good job of that, I think. We had a guy call the other day. He said, "I'm going to go to church for the first time." I said, "I'm so excited." He said, "I got to ask you something." I said, "Yep." He said, "What should I wear?" Think we hit the target market on that guy? Absolutely, that's what we're after. But we also want to speak to those of you that are heavily involved in the church that use this as an outreach.
Do you love the brothers? I mean, do you really love them? Or is it just something you got to do? And with non-Christians and Christians, can I tell you something, guys? You got a problem if you do. That's what John says. Now you're with those Christians. How about this? Are you patient? Are you kind?
I'm frustrated by them, because they're not like me. It's kind of interesting. Almost every organization I belong to, I belong to a group of people that are just like me. I mean, if you go to the American Medical Association meeting, you got a bunch of doctors. You got 458 portable phones. All these guys walking around with phones and pagers. And they all have the same thing, and they're all talking about the latest technique.
You go to the board of realtors, and there's all these little realtors. They may look a little different. You got the gals with the hoop earrings, and you got the guys with the monogram shirts. You got all these guys sitting together. But essentially, you have money-grubbing people all together in one room. And then you move to there, and you go to a PTA meeting. And you got all these parents that have a concern. And essentially, it's kind of all the same.
But all of a sudden, I come to the body of Christ, and I got young people and old people. And I got rich people, and I got poor people, and I got single people. I got divorced people. I got drug addicts. I got guys that have had an assorted background. I've got black people. I have Asian-Americans. I have Americans. I have Irish-Americans. I got all this thing. It looks like the Democratic Party sometimes as you're standing there before some of these churches. There's a little bit of everything there.
I'm looking at this, and I'm saying, this is tough. Do you ever feel that way? What do you like when you're in that? Because John says, hey, let me tell you humanly my response. There'd be something wrong with you if you didn't have some sort of a feeling where you said, wow. The Spirit of God kicks over, and all of a sudden you have relationships that are deeper than any you could ever have because they're based on a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Are you patient and kind in those settings?
The Struggle with Jealousy
Here's one. Are you jealous? Do you ever get around the church and get a little envious of somebody? This is always dangerous to do, but I like doing it. Let me be really honest with you. I was in a setting a couple of weeks ago, guys doing a small group study, 25 or 30 guys. We're there. We're walking out. Three guys, I'm walking with them, and they said, I've never heard anything like this. They said, this was incredible. What this guy talked about today absolutely was awesome. I mean, this guy just expanded my mind and gave me a new perspective on the Word of God.
You know what I felt? I said, you want to hear good? I got a tape from three weeks ago. You want to hear good? Here, I got a tape. Here's one from San Antonio. Try this one, baby. I was so jealous of that guy. I wanted to say, hey, his whole premise, I've been teaching for eight straight weeks on Sunday morning. And I had to stand before God and say, God, that sounds a little bit like a big mistake. That's a big sin. I said, God, that's just pure sin. That's just pure, unadulterated pride and jealousy.
You know what my response should have been? And I did it that last week, and I did it again last night. I said, guys, I want to tell you something about my fire. What was it he said that excited you? And then I'll tell you what he said that excited me. What was it he said that put you on fire? What are you going to do now that he's got you on fire? Now, is that going to change the way you live? What group are you going to be involved in? That's the way you're going to work in the body of Christ.
And he says, if you're not functioning that way, you've got a problem. And it's sin. And, man, we need to watch out for that ugly pride, that pure pride. Again, I've told you before, it was always the unwritten rule at Coble Banker, always our favorite saying, always the motto that we live by, the next best thing to making a deal was seeing someone else lose one. And that's exactly how we felt. Because if I can't have it, he's not going to have it. And absolutely, the ultimate was watching somebody very successful make yet another deal.
It's His pride. It's all it is, it's His pride. And it will drive you men to sin. It will drive you to do things you never dreamt. And no matter what it is, it will drive you. It will make you sin. Isn't that amazing? He said, if you really love the brothers, you're not going to do that.
The Negative Example of Cain
Now, here's the negative illustration. It's in verse 12. It's in the person of Cain. He said, I want you to love your brothers, not like Cain, who was of the evil one. John makes the point of saying Cain was moved by the evil one. He told us up in verse 4, the devil is the evil one. The evil one, in this sense, means literally one who's willing to be evil and corruption. But not only that, he seeks to destroy others. That's the picture of the devil. Cain was of the evil one.
He slew his brother. His brother was Abel. And here's how. For what reason did he slay him? Because his deeds were evil and his brothers were righteous. I don't know if you remember the story. It's in Genesis 4. God asked for a sacrifice from Cain and Abel. Both bring sacrifices. One is accepted by God within His prescribed method of sacrifice and the other is not. And Cain raises up in jealous anger and slays his brother. John said, there's the attitude not to have. Not be driven by jealousy. To be obedient to God and to love one another.
At one point in Romans, rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. And I think the order is significant. Because I think it's far harder to rejoice with somebody who's rejoicing than it is to weep with somebody who's weeping. If I come in here next week and say, my little five-year-old baby is riddled with cancer. And it's tearing us apart and it's tearing her apart. It's a matter of months. You're going to weep. There's not a guy. There may be one or two of you that are beyond that. And if you are, we pray for you. But most of you guys are
going to be brokenhearted. You're going to identify with that and you're going to weep. But if I come in here next week and I say, "Hey, guess what? His uncle Harold - we never even knew this guy - lives in Oskaloosa, Iowa. All of a sudden, Harold just died and his attorney mailed us this check for $750,000." You're not going to rejoice. I don't want to hear that one, do we? No, because why? You want the $750,000. That's just human nature, and that's the way we work.
Look at golfers - at least four of them all look alike. It's easy to tell they're all golfers. There's got to be just a sense of tension in there. The golfers' Bible study is an interesting Bible study because you've got all these guys together, and they're all brothers. But they're paired the next day against each other. "Oh, congratulations. Good shot." There's a real tension there, man.
You know how you survive in that? There's only one way you can survive. You've got to understand that God's in control. You've got to understand that when He does well, I do well. When I see this teacher exercising his spiritual gift and ministering to these guys, you know what? That's good for me because the body of Christ grows. The body of Christ is alive. Isn't that great?
Love as Evidence of Spiritual Life
That's what He says. Don't be like this. Here you go, verse 14: "We know that we pass from death to life because we've loved the brothers." He said we know that we were dead spiritually and now we're alive spiritually because we love the brothers. "He who does not love is dead. Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer."
John says this: "Look, I want you to understand that in fact, if you hate, you're as good as a murderer." That's what Jesus said back in the Sermon on the Mount. He said, "You've heard it said, 'Don't kill.' I'm saying to you, the one who says raka - literally empty head, jughead, goofball - who says that to his brother is as bad as a murderer." You heard it said, "Don't commit adultery." But Jesus said, "If you lust after a woman, you have already committed adultery." There's a new rule. There's a new economy. He's saying, I want you to understand how important it is to love.
The Ultimate Example of Love
Look at verse 16: "We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us and we ought to lay down our life for the brother." We ought to lay down our life for the brother. We should be willing to die for the brothers.
Probably none of the stories that come out of war and the tragedy there touch us more than a man who perhaps leaps on a hand grenade and saves the other four or five guys in a foxhole. There's just something - at least maybe me, maybe I'm unique in that - but there's something about us that says this guy's a real hero. This is the ultimate hero.
In a sense, every man who goes off to war puts his life on the line, and they absolutely do. We have a great debt of thanks to them. But there's something about this guy. There's not a lot of question - once he leaps, unless this baby is some sort of dud, he's history. We admire that.
That's what Jesus did. The perfect man died on the cross for our sin. That's why we have Good Friday coming, and that's why we have Easter. Jesus died - the perfect man - for your sin and mine. He paid the price for your sin and for my sin. He said you and I ought to be able to live that way. We ought to have that spirit.
Most of us, I think in our minds, say, "You know, I think I would. If it came to that, I'd do that. I could do that. I think I'd do it." But we know that we're sitting here in Scottsdale - we're pretty safe.
Practical Love Through Meeting Needs
So since we're willing to give our life, verse 17 should become very easy: "Whoever has the world's goods, and beholds his brother in need, and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children, let us not love with word or tongue, but in deed and truth."
He says this: if you have the world's goods, if your needs are met, then you meet their financial and physical needs. I'm more in the "I'll throw myself on the hand grenade" category. Get out all those rusty old grenades and launch them this way.
Here's what He says, and James says it this way: if you want to understand what faith really is, then here's what it is. Faith is the man who sees his brother in need and responds. He said, "What value is it if you see your brother in need, and you say, 'Hey, hang in there, God is great, and I'll pray for you,' and go on?"
He says this: you and I have an obligation with our money to line it up with the rest of our lives. You've got an obligation from God to meet the financial needs of those around you.
Now, it doesn't mean that every morning at 8 o'clock, we kick open the door and you start to parade in. I say, "Okay, what's your need? A hundred? Susan, give him a hundred. Okay, who's next here? One twenty? One twenty." That's not what He's saying.
He's saying this: when my needs are met - and I understand that's a big loophole for you, because some of you have your needs so convoluted that you'll never get them met. John D. Rockefeller couldn't meet your needs. When I have my honest needs met, when in my heart I've got the necessities covered, I have an obligation when I see somebody in need to reach out and meet that need. That's what God says. See, that's what love is - meeting those needs.
Question, how are you doing on that measure? It is incredibly important, men, how you handle your money. It is massively important how you earn it. You need to earn it straight and honest, total integrity. How you spend it, what you spend it on, and where you invest it, and where you give it.
You need to watch closely where you give your money. Your money needs to be given to organizations that are concerned about the cause of Christ. Your money needs to be given to organizations that are indeed above board and responsible, that are in line with where you are philosophically, theologically. He says, if you're not doing that, you've got problems. That's why he says verse 18. He said, look, you're going to mouth these things. Put your money where your mouth is.
Beyond Money: The Gift of Your Time
Let me just put a pitch in here, because we're running out of time. Not a pitch for money. Although that would have been a good time right there, wouldn't it? There are other things that I have that other people need. People desperately need your time. People desperately need your advice. And you need to give it.
There's a myth going on, and it's all over. It permeates everywhere. And I hear it from everybody. Everybody that I talk to is too busy. You've decided that you're busy.
Now I've got in my back pocket four tickets for the Masters. Four flights, not on Eastern, but on Delta, to Atlanta. And I've got a town car waiting to pick you up to take you to the golf course. How long would it take you to clear the calendar for the first week in April? David's free. And then we're not too busy.
We did some calculations last week. And plus or minus, you have about 46 hours of discretionary time on your calendar every week. You're not too busy. The question is, I think most of us are guilty of misappropriation of funds of our discretionary time. We're investing time in a bunch of stuff that doesn't matter. I mean, 27 million people watched the People's Choice Awards the other night. Are you kidding me? We've got time. We've got time.
Men Desperately Need Your Advice
He said, people need your time, men. Men out there are lonely and they need your advice. And if you're a godly man, they desperately need your advice.
This is my favorite story, and we have to start to wrap it up. But I sat with a guy in Tucson. This was about a year ago. And this guy, men, is everything you'd want to be. I mean, this guy is a stud. 34, 35 years old. I mean, he's handsome. He's taller than me. Dark. He's about a 2 or a 3 handicap in golf. He's an A tennis player. He's got a business that's thriving. I mean, this guy has got it in the wheelhouse. Single. He's got it in the wheelhouse. And there's not a person in here who wouldn't say, this guy's got it in the wheelhouse.
So we sat at breakfast to talk about some things. And he was having some problems and some questions and some things. And I said, who's your best friend? Who's your best friend?
Now, those of you that are in sales, you know this technique. I used it all the time. I still find that it's especially effective in the work that I'm in now. Once I get the issue to where I want it, I don't talk anymore. I'm done. And we used to sit in some of our sales meetings where we'd make presentations. I'd sit 3, 4, 5 minutes, and nobody'd say anything. We'd just kind of look at each other. Because I've said everything. And it's going to take the pressure off the guy. And it's going to cause him. All I'm doing is feeding him more material for an objection.
I've got the issue where I want it with this guy. I say, who's your best friend? And we're eating. And I'm cutting my eggs. And I'm kind of eating along. And I look up every once in a while, and he's kind of sitting there. He said, well, I really don't know.
And I said, well, let me just say this. Let's suppose you got in a problem. You've got a little problem here. But I said, let's suppose you had a big problem. And then, is laughable, were it not so sad? He said, if I really had a problem, and I really, really, really had to talk to somebody, I think I'd probably just have to talk to my dog.
And I started to laugh. And then I realized how serious he was. And I said, well, how would you solve it? And he said, I'd have to solve it myself. You know, and unfortunately, that guy speaks for millions of people, and many of you in this room.
Making Yourself Available
You want to really love a brother? You want to really love another man in Christ? Here's what you need to do, guys. Get close to him, and make yourself available to him.
Some of you guys, I look around, some of you guys have been through a ton of stuff. Some of you guys are older. Some of you guys are younger. You guys have so much to offer. It drives me nuts to go out to some of these trailer parks and retirement villages and do these talks. I enjoy doing them. I love to do them. But here is this incredible wealth of knowledge and experience. And I don't mean guys that work for GM and ran corporations. I mean guys that live godly lives.
And they're sitting there, and the next group I go to is a bunch of young guys that are filled with enthusiasm, but they don't know where to go. And I'm thinking, how can I get these two together? Boy, if you really want to love and demonstrate love, pick out a guy and then go after him.
Don't be embarrassed to give him a call and say, can we have breakfast? He'll call you. You're in business. You were in business 30 years, right? Yep. You were a Christian in that time, right? Yep. Did you ever face any struggles with that? And how did you resolve them? See, that's how the body of Christ is supposed to work, men. You're available.
The Phone Rings for a Reason
It's not an inconvenience when the phone rings. Our phone, when my parents were just here, my mom said, this is driving me crazy. The phone rings all day long. I said, well, it drives me a little crazy, too. It's not my favorite thing. We're available. We're available for this reason, guys. We love you. Some of you I don't even know, but I can tell you that—
We love you. Some of you I don't particularly like, but I can tell you that I love you. And we're here. That's why we're here and that's why we do this.
Men, that's the test of a godly man. He's available. He's a loving man. And it permeates all aspects of his life.
Truth Goes Hand in Hand with Love
There's something that goes with love. It goes hand in hand. It's called truth. And next week, John is going to talk to us about truth. What is the truth? Can we know the truth? And then how do we know when somebody is selling us a pig and a poke? Well, we'll find out next week.
Let's pray.
Father, we thank You for Your word that it is so real and so practical and so honest, so truthful. Lord, we just ask You to make us men who love one another. Father, give us a spirit of love for one another, a sense in which we just want to share what's going on in our life when we're open and honest and straightforward.
Father, thank You so much that we can come together as men with Your Son Jesus in the center of this relationship. God, help us overcome those natural human instincts of jealousy and envy and pride. Father, help us be men who literally love one another and encourage one another and weep with one another, but we rejoice with one another. Father, help us be lovers.
Father, help us put our money where our mouth is. Help us go above and beyond the call of duty. Father, help us be lovers not just in word, but in deed. We ask right now, Lord, that You take each one of us and bring somebody into our life and give us a boldness to reach out to somebody else and just say, hey, how about a cup of coffee? How about breakfast? How about just sharing what's going on? How do you survive day in and day out? God, we trust You to build relationships.
Father, thank You for Your Son, Jesus Christ, for His ultimate act of love when He, perfect and sinless, died for us, riddled with sin. Father, thank You for that demonstration of love, for that example of love, and Father, thank You for the gift of life that comes from it. Lord, we thank You for Your Son, Jesus, and it's in His name we pray. Amen.
See you next week!