How to Be Happy Though Hurting
Tom Shrader explores Paul's secret of contentment from Philippians 4:11-13, addressing how to find happiness while experiencing pain. He categorizes pain as physical, emotional, and spiritual, tracing its origin to Genesis 3. Shrader outlines a time-tested biblical approach: consider the source of pain, plead your case before God, broaden your view to see God's purposes, celebrate your circumstances, and amaze others through your response to suffering.
“When you are hurting, your whole world is watching you to see if what you say you believe matches up with how you respond.”
— Tom Shrader
Series: How to Be Happy
Recorded: December 16, 2004
Duration: 39 min
Themes: contentment, suffering, pain, joy, trials, perseverance, strength, endurance, experiencing chronic pain, going through trials, facing adversity, dealing with hardship, prisoner of war, hospital patient, grieving loss, struggling believer
Scripture: Philippians 4:11-13, Genesis 3, Genesis 3:16, Genesis 3:17-19, James 1:2, Hebrews 12, 1 Corinthians 11, Acts 5, Ephesians 6:10, John 14-17, 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, 1 Corinthians 1:18-2:5, Job 42
Theological Themes: philippians, apostle paul, spiritual maturity, sanctification, providence, gods sovereignty, biblical contentment, christian suffering
Full Transcript
Session 4: Learning the Secret of Contentment
If you have Bibles, open them to Philippians chapter 4, verses 11, 12, and 13. Paul's writing, and he's not writing from Paradise Valley—he's writing from prison, which makes the words even more impactful. He is, in the process of this, learned something.
He says in verse 11, "Not that I speak from want, I've learned to be content in whatever circumstance I am." So that becomes the basis for this series. "I've learned the secret of being content and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."
Here's what Paul says. Paul says, "I have learned"—uses that word twice, verse 11, verse 12—so it's not natural, it's supernatural. And if he learned it, you and I can learn it as well. He said, "I've learned the secret," and the secret is be content, regardless of circumstance.
So here's what we've talked about: How to be happy though married, how to be happy though single, how to be happy though broke. You might get through all that, but you're not going to get by today. How to be happy though hurting.
The Reality of Human Suffering
The human experience is filled with hurting of all different flavors, shapes, and sizes. "Count it all joy when you encounter various trials, knowing the testing of your faith produces endurance." That word that's translated "various" in the English is actually "multicolored." So there are trials that come in all shapes and sizes.
There's a trial of hurting, but there's also a trial of prosperity. Thomas Carlyle, a famous historian, said for every hundred people that can pass the test of adversity, there's one that can pass the test of prosperity. That's because prosperity has so many more issues associated with it.
Lessons from a War Hero
I was watching one Sunday, getting ready to go to church to teach Sunday night, and it was a PBS special on POWs from Vietnam. It was riveting. They were talking to different POWs, but Admiral Stockdale, who became kind of a caricature when he ran with Ross Perot, and they mocked him on Saturday Night Live. The guy's a war hero, and they were talking to him about what it was like and all the stuff he learned.
Jim Collins, in his book *Good to Great*, talks about going and interviewing Stockdale. Rather than talk about the interview, let me read to you what Collins writes about his reflections of that interview. He said this: "That conversation with Admiral Stockdale stayed with me, and in fact had a profound influence on my own development. Life is unfair, sometimes to our advantage, sometimes to our disadvantage."
Almost every one of you, especially if you've been a salesperson, have had these experiences where you work and grind and cold call, and you do everything right, and the deal never happens. You've also had the experience where you pick up the phone, the call was supposed to go to somebody else, but you answered it, the guy's looking for widgets, you sell widgets, he says, "I'll take a million widgets," and you make this gigantic sale without doing anything. Life is unfair.
When I hear "unfair," I immediately think, "Yeah, I got screwed." But he's saying, you know what? You get a whole bunch of stuff too—good stuff you didn't deserve. Let me give you the biggest of those: salvation by grace through faith. I've never been too into fair. I like the grace side of this. I'm not looking for justice. I don't want what I deserve.
How We Handle Life's Inevitable Difficulties
Stockdale has this impact, and Collins writes that. Then he writes, "We will all experience disappointments and crushing events somewhere along the way—setbacks for which there is no reason, no one to blame. It might be a disease, it might be injury, it might be accident. It might be losing a loved one. It might be getting swept away in a political shakeup. It might be getting shot down in Vietnam and thrown into a POW camp for eight years. What separates people, Stockdale taught me, is not the presence or absence of difficulties, but how they deal with the inevitable difficulties of life."
I love that. One of the easy things in a class like this is most of you are so old that I don't have to spend time selling you on this.
Three Types of Pain
How to be happy though hurting. I'm going to take you right through the outline. I'll give it to you fast. Pain comes in three flavors: physical, emotional, spiritual.
Physical Pain
So you have physical pain. That's just wear and tear. I talked to a guy yesterday. I talked to him 30 seconds before we started talking about colonoscopies. Thirty seconds. I'm not kidding you. "How are you doing?" He said, "Not well." And I knew exactly where it was going.
There was a guy the other day and he had a big bruise on his head. I said, "How did you get that?" And he said, "Well, it was the middle of the night." I didn't have to go any further. I can finish this story. It's just a physical reality of life.
Years ago, I wasn't teaching. Larry was. So I went to his Bible study. It's just the nature of it—it just had a lot of really old people in it. So I sat down next to this guy. We were really early. There wasn't anybody else there. I said to myself, "Gosh, he's old. How old do you think he is?" I often just ask, "How old are you?" But I didn't see him that way.
So I thought, "I've got to figure out how old he is." I said to him, I thought this was pretty clever, "When's your birthday?" He said, "Well, it's November." I said, "Well, mine's November." He said, "Oh." I said, "What day in November?" He said, "26." I said, "Mine's the 28th." Now I'm still lacking an important piece of information. I said, "Oh, that's cool. What year?" He said, "1949." And I said, "Mine was 1949."
I'm looking at him, and I'm thinking, "Really?" I got a haircut yesterday. I looked in the mirror, and I saw my dad. It's just the inevitable part of it. I feel good, and yet getting started in the morning... So physical pain.
Emotional Pain
Here's the second thing: emotional pain. If you're a sports person, this will be great. If you're not, you know...
I was watching Dan Patrick the other day—I like Dan Patrick's show—and I came in as he was interviewing Jerry West. Jerry West has a new book, *West by West: A Charmed but Tortured Life*. Dan Patrick was very emotional, saying to Jerry West, "This has to be hard for you." Here's a guy who's an All-American, arguably one of the best guards that ever played the game, with huge success afterwards as the GM of the Lakers—won four titles, brought in Shaq and Kobe. He was talking about his life and his battle with self-esteem and depression.
I had two thoughts. One was the human nature thought: if he's got a problem with self-esteem, what am I? Jerry West has a problem, and he's tough—his nose is broken, just tough. But then all it did was reinforce what we teach: if you're looking to your accomplishments or your job or your house or your car—whatever it is—if you're looking at anything other than Jesus, you're going to have a self-esteem crisis.
The Nature of Pain
So we have emotional problems, and then spiritual pain. Spiritual pain often comes in the form of guilt, which is actually really good. Often you feel guilty for a very important reason. What is it? That's exactly right—you are guilty. If you're guilty and you don't feel it, you're a psychopath, and that's not helpful.
Pain came in one delivery. Pain is ushered into the world through—and you'll see it on your outline—one, women; two, men. It came through Genesis 3. If you're trying to understand people and life and the world, you have to unpack Genesis Chapter 3 because that's the explanation of everything in the world. Why are things the way they are? Genesis Chapter 3. The first record of abnormal behavior in all of mankind. Genesis Chapter 3. What caused it? Sin.
The Fall and Its Consequences
God creates paradise. Adam says, "No, I'll try it my way," and he ushers all this in. I have friends all the time saying, "When I get to heaven, I'm going to ask God..." When I get to heaven, I'm going to ask Adam, "What were you thinking?" I don't care about God—God's got His answer. You, you moron. You know what you've done.
For those of you always looking for something to study or a book to read, try this: the Bible. Read Genesis 2 and Genesis 3. Pray before you read it, then get a notebook and ask God to open it up—it's just going to flow into you. It's the answer to everything. Genesis 3 is the answer to everything. It explains all the stuff around you. You look at it and wonder why athletes blow all this money, why this guy does this or that—it's Genesis 3.
Pain for Women
For the woman, the result was Genesis 3:16: "I'll greatly increase your pains in childbearing, and with pain you will give birth." And He said, here's the real pain: "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."
He says, here's what I put in place—here's the order. Wives submit to your husbands. Husbands submit to your wives. But there's going to be a struggle. This is my personal experience watching this flesh out: most women want the man to lead, but schizophrenically want to argue and battle for it. I'll get women all the time—and you understand this—saying, "Why don't you teach these husbands to lead? Why don't you teach these husbands to lead?" I've got one question: What kind of follower are you?
I know men. Here's what he's going to do: he's going to try. After a while—and it's not a very long time—he's going to say, "Screw it. It's not worth the aggravation." That's exactly what he's going to do.
Pain for Men
To the man, He says in Genesis chapter 3, verses 17 through 19: "Because you've listened to your wife and ate from the tree which I commanded you, 'You must not eat,' cursed would be the ground." Then He says—and this is important too—work doesn't come as a result of the curse, but work becomes toil as a result of the curse. Adam and Eve are working in Genesis 2, but in Genesis 3, as a result of this, work becomes toil. The land doesn't produce. All the things that go with it.
Pain's Ultimate Solution
Now pain has one ultimate solution. What is it? Death. Just die—providing you know Jesus, and then the pain is over.
Pain drives people to action, and there are three interesting reactions: Number one, actions that increase their pain. Number two, actions that eliminate their pain. Or three, actions that mitigate or lessen the pain.
Learning to Respond to Pain
In my life, every day, I've got to figure out really fast: is this changeable or not? And if it's changeable, is it something I can change? We're doing a big service Sunday outside—huge service. We do it about twice a year. We'll be outside, and there are all sorts of issues. We've got the sun issue, and everybody will be whining. Bring sunglasses. Bring sunscreen. Wear a hat. If you don't have sunglasses, a hat, or sunscreen, that's your problem, not my problem. We told you a thousand times.
We've got sun problems, sound problems. We're going to try to do video—guaranteed video problems. The thing is, we can work through all those. There's one thing that can screw this up. What is it? Rain. I can't change that. You know how much time we've spent planning the weather? Zero. We've spent all our time on the other things. I've got to do that with everything that comes in my life. If it's something that's a problem, then I should try to address it. If it's something that I can't change...
but it's changeable, I'm just praying like mad. So you can do things.
So I get a call. This guy says, can I meet with you? And I said, sure. What is it? And he said, my life is all screwed up. And I said, okay. No one really calls when it's going well, so that's all right. And I said, well, what's the problem? And he went on, and my wife is a witch. My kids are awful. And I'm out of money. I'm broke. I got no money. I said, okay. How about next week? Today's not good. How about next week? Here's what he said. I can't. Why? I'm going to Maui.
Now, really, okay? Somebody must have switched phones on me, because I thought you had a money problem. I don't think going to Maui is going to solve it. See that? How often we get in this situation, and we're just absolutely stuck on stupid.
Or I eliminate the pain. So I look at it, and I go, you know what? There's something I've got to do about it. I've got to figure this out. Right now, physically, I'm just not eating. I'm eating a little bit better, but I'm not. I've got to fix this. So I use that to start it. A picture of circumstances, my height, picture of a problem, my width. So I've got to work on that. Or I've got to go, you know what? This just is what it is, and I've got to live with it. I've got to make it the best I can possibly make it.
Responding Proactively to Pain
So here you go. In this whole proactive part of responding to pain, here's the questions I've got to answer. What's the basis for the pain, and what's the nature of the situation, and what's the appropriate response to the situation? So I'm going to take you through this the best I can, and just figure it out. You're smart people.
So the first one, pain from consequence. So the nature of the situation is, the problem is within my control. It's the hand on the stove. So the response is this, don't repeat this casual behavior.
Pain from Consequences
So here you go. I'm at home now. So I decided a week ago that I can't leave home if I don't have somebody there with Susan. And hospice won't come in as long as she's taking chemo. And here's what they did. This is the doctor the other day. I think he was trying to tell her, don't take any more chemo. And he started, and he said, Susan, I want to talk to you about quality of life. And I said to myself, because I've been down this road four or seven years, that's not going to win.
So he talked for a while, and I said, no offense, but she gave up on quality of life the day we got married. So you know, she's not going to respond to quality. She's not going to respond. I'm telling you. I'm just telling you, she's the toughest. I was going to say woman. She's the toughest person I've ever been around. So I've got to figure this out. I've got to figure out that whole thing.
She was taking a shower the other night, and I came up with a great idea. I think I avoided a disaster. But my idea was to get the towels hot. So I thought, well, I'll put them in the microwave. Because that sounds really smart to me. But as I was walking in, I thought, something's going to go wrong with this. So you know what I did? I put them in the dryer. That's pretty cool. And I got them out. And I'm telling you, every person she's met that's come in the house in the last week, she says, let me tell you what Tommy did for me.
So well, we got this stove. And every stove I've ever had, I don't cook. I've never cooked. But I don't know what I'm doing. I'm making something. But it's not a gas stove or a flame stove. It's that flat electric thing. So the sign says, hot. But I'm going, it doesn't look hot. It can't be hot. It was hot. See? So that's a consequence of pain. You do stupid things.
Three Ways to Learn
Here you go. You can learn in three ways that I know of. Through experience. The tuition on that is a little bit high. The School of Hard Knocks. Through education, tuition on that is high with little or no results. Or from others.
Now, God's really good to me because I have a constant flow of screwed up people that come into my life. So I look at them and I go, how'd you get there? Really? Okay. Note to self, don't do that. If you're sensitive to this at all, it's really a great way to learn. Because I'm constantly going. Somebody would come in and I'd go, wow. And I'd go, how did you get here? I did this, I did this, I did this. And I'll just get my phone and start typing a little answer. You know, don't do that. Don't do that. If you're going to borrow money, pay it back. I just type in these things. And so those are three ways to learn.
Pain from Divine Discipline
Here you go. Here's the second way. It's consequence or pain from discipline. There's a problem. It's within your control. You go ahead. You blow it. And so God's going to discipline you. And here you go. Here's the response. Don't do it again.
So in Hebrews chapter 12, the author of Hebrews is writing to us. And He's talking about this great cloud of witnesses we have. He's talking and encouraging us not to be entangled in sin. And He's warning us that as a result of our sin, because God loves us, He will discipline us. So the earthly picture of a father becomes a picture of a heavenly Father.
James Dobson says the number one mistake that people make in child rearing is thinking if they love their kids, they don't have to discipline them. And the reality is the opposite. If you love your kids, by the way, and the culture, you'll discipline your kids.
So we had that early on, and I'm just, it just works. You set boundaries, this is how we, we were accidentally good parents, okay? We just set bound, I raised kids the way I'd want to be raised, that's all I did. We set boundaries, do whatever you want in there, your finger comes over there, you just held the pay. Two things happened, pretty soon their finger didn't go over there, and the boundaries got bigger.
So when our kids were small, my friends were very critical of the way we raised them, because we were very tight. Don't do this, don't do that, we don't do that, that's not how we behave. And then, as they got older, the rules went away. I had two
I had teenage daughters who had essentially no rules. They didn't have a curfew. I did weird parenting - I wouldn't encourage any of you to do this - never made them get a job. I don't know, you don't have to teach them to work; what you're trying to teach them is responsibility. They're not making any money, and all they're going to do is screw up your life. They're going to go to work at a fast food restaurant and get hooked on drugs. You don't need to do that. All of a sudden, vacation, you can't get away because your kid's working. So anyway, that's how we did it. I'm not saying you should do it that way, but here's what I saw: I saw discipline. So that's what you need. God loves you, and He disciplines you.
There are some really striking examples. In 1 Corinthians chapter 11, where Paul's talking about communion, and he's talking about coming to the communion table in a very serious fashion. He says there are some who are asleep - in other words, there are some who have died as a result of coming to the communion table in a faulty way. Acts chapter five, you have Ananias and Sapphira who are killed, slain by God because of their sin. Does that mean God's going to deal with everybody that way? No, don't get sidetracked with that. Just know that there's discipline for your behavior. God loves you, therefore He disciplines you.
Pain From Combat
Here's the third one: it's pain from combat. Circumstances beyond your control, it's a fight you're in. I'm talking to a guy the other day, and we're talking about - I was talking about Susan, and I made the comment that I wish the Navy SEALs had the courage Susan had. Obviously, it's just exaggeration, hyperbole, making a point. So we're talking a little bit, and he said, "War is really hell." And I looked at him, and I said, "What war were you in?" Here's what he said: "I saw Saving Private Ryan." I must just attract students who are stupid people. It's like if you're from Tucson, you're attracted to me. I guess that's the equation. U of A, I get all the U of A graduate students who want to talk to me.
I've never been in the service, me personally. Never in the military, never, never, never. But I can tell you this: war is hell, and the battle I'm in is the same battle you're in, and it's spiritual warfare. The Taliban, they're tough. I just finished - we're doing a book. We're doing, I should have told you about it, because you might have wanted to join us. We're doing like a book discussion once a month. We're going to try it in October, November, and December. So for October, we did Unbroken. We're going to do The Help next month. That'll be interesting. Two white guys talking about this issue. We'll see, it'll be a very interesting study. But these unbroken, these Japanese were tough. Americans were tough, people were tough, but you've got no enemy as relentless as Satan.
It's 24-7, it's every day. He comes, and he's a subtle serpent, right? Subtle serpent, angel of light. He comes to destroy. Your response to him, you'll see outlined in Ephesians chapter six.
The Armor of God
Let me read you a little bit from Ephesians chapter six, very end of the book. Paul is encouraging the listener. Ephesians 6:10: "Finally be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might and put on the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil." So he said, and then he says, our battle's not flesh and blood. Here's what he's saying. Schemes, also translated crafty. You have this enemy, and you need to stand firm, and you need to put on the full armor of God.
I think I've mentioned it to you before. In the Greek, the phrase that's translated "put on" is not - here's how we think that. So if I read that to you, you would think this: If I go into battle, I put on my armor, when the battle's over, I take it off. In the Greek, in the tense, it's this idea: Put on and leave on, once and for all, the armor of God. Now what that tells you is really important. When do you put on armor? To go into battle. When are you in battle? 24-7.
Against an enemy that's way stronger than you, but not stronger than God. So that's why the armor of God is to rest in Him. It's prayer, it's the study of His word. It's all of those things that go with that. So God didn't leave you alone. He gave you His word. He gave you prayer. And He gave you your greatest, most powerful tool, which is the Holy Spirit.
That's what He says. The night before He dies, and it's recorded in John 14, 15, 16, 17. He said the night before He died, "Here's the deal. I'm not going to leave you as orphans. I'm going to send a helper." And this is something that sounds very strange to us. "And it's to your advantage," Jesus says, "that I go away. Because if I don't go away, the Holy Spirit won't come. But when I'm gone" - because isn't that how I think? I think, oh, if I could be with Jesus, He's gone. No, you're better off if I'm gone, because you're going to get the Holy Spirit, and He's going to be the power, and He's the one who'll strengthen you.
So the most powerful force on earth is when the word of God is applied by the spirit of God to the hearts and minds of the men and women of God. It's just a powerful force.
Time-Tested Approach
Here you go, time-tested approach. If you want to turn to 2 Corinthians chapter 12, we're going to look at - I mean, you have five things here as we close out in the last - we're going to come rapid fire, because five things in seven minutes.
As you encounter these things and these difficulties, 2 Corinthians chapter 12, verse seven, Paul is His famous kind of incident. He said, "To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassing great revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me." So consider the source. What's the source of this pain in my life? Again, physical pain, try to fix it. Emotional pain, where am I trying to find my esteem?
Understanding the Source of Spiritual Pain
Here's what Paul says interestingly enough: Satan is bringing this. Now, everything that comes into your life is either caused by or allowed by God. You've heard this 50,000 times, but you need to hear it another 50. If something comes into your life that God didn't either cause or allow, then He isn't God.
So there's this thorn in the flesh. Susan's laying at home. I got her up before I left today and just took care of some basic things, and she's in awful shape. God could take that away like that. God could lessen the pain. God could increase the pain. God is either causing this, which I'm comfortable with that, and so is He, by the way, because He said, "Who made the deaf, who made the dumb, who made the blind? I did." So I'm comfortable with that. Either caused or allowed, it's a result of Genesis 3. So these things come into my life. He said, here you go, this is from Satan, but God allowed it.
The Purpose Behind the Thorn
Why would God do something like this? Well, read it: to keep me from becoming conceited. Here's Paul, and he's like the guy. So he's walking around, and he's the guy. Well, if you're the guy, how do they treat you? Like you're the guy.
Look, I always go to Prince William or whatever he is. It blows me away that people respond to this guy. He's done nothing. He hasn't done a thing. He's born into this family. He didn't do anything. And at the polo club over here, everybody's all excited about it, and he's a guy. He didn't earn anything, he didn't create anything. He's made no contribution that I can see to culture or society.
If you're the president—Obama, Bush, Nixon, Reagan, I don't care—and you walk into the room, and everybody stands up, and they play "Hail to the Chief," pretty soon you'd think you're the chief. So here comes Paul and God's going to use him in a powerful way. And He said, "You know what would really screw this up is if you got conceited. So here's what I'm going to do, Paul. I'm either going to cause or allow this thorn in the flesh."
Paul's Physical Affliction
Don't know what it was. We're just talking about Paul yesterday because we're getting ready to teach. We're going to start at all the Redemption churches a week from Sunday to study First Thessalonians. And we're talking about Paul.
By all accounts, it's sketchy, but he was a very unattractive person, likely kind of short, bowlegged, hook-nosed. There's some discussion about the thorn in the flesh. Some believe it was actually—and there's different views—but some believe it was actually an affliction in his eye that just kind of oozed. So think of this dude coming in. You know, "Boy, Paul's coming!" and they build it up and in walks this hook-nosed guy, and he's just like the Phantom of the Opera is going to preach to you.
So He said, that's why it's there. Consider the source. Why would God allow this? A whole bunch of reasons. I've got 25 of them listed here, 25 reasons for suffering. My favorite is this: to reveal ourselves to ourselves.
Revealing Ourselves to Ourselves
You think you're really something and He puts a speed bump in your way. He puts Cox Communications in your way and you can't get over that. You're not quite the spiritual giant you thought. Or sometimes He'll put something in there and you go, "I never thought I could handle it, but I do." So I have to be really accurate in my assessment.
Plead Your Case
Here's the second thing in this time-tested approach: plead your case. He says in verse 8, "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me."
I'm not big on the health and wealth and prosperity dudes. And it seems to me their whole thing just breaks down the minute you push it. The minute you push it, it falls over. Here's Paul, man of faith, giant of the faith. He's got all the faith and he goes to God and he pleads three times and God decides I'm not going to take it away. This whole faith thing is not about if you have faith, it will happen. It's that you have faith that God can do it. But my faith is deeper. It's not that if He takes it away, I believe in Him. It's if He keeps it, I still believe He's in control.
So listen, what do you do? You pray. Be honest with God. My prayer life is very, very candid because I know that I'm not telling God something He doesn't already know. So I'm not trying to slide something in here. "God, You're a great God. God, You're a holy God. Get me out of this. How are You doing today, God?" I don't try to slide it in. I'll just tell Him this sucks. I want out. I don't want this anymore. I'm tired of this. Or God, I need this.
The Honesty of Faith
I honestly don't pray that much for myself too often. I pray for a lot of other things. But plead your case. Pleading your case and having faith doesn't mean that it's going to turn out. It may turn out the way you want it, but it may take a different path.
Broaden Your View
The third thing is to broaden your view. But God said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you." Verse 9: "My power is made perfect or complete in your weakness."
So Paul says, "I got this thorn in the flesh. I don't like it. I don't want it. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Get rid of it." And then it sounds as though perhaps he kind of quit or changed his prayer. We don't know. Don't want to speculate there. But very honest.
And then God said, "You know what? Here you go. Why do you want Me to get rid of it? So life will be easier for you. I thought you wanted to be closer to Me." "I do." "We're going to be closer if you have this thorn in the flesh."
A Great Example
So here I give you a great example. You're having a baby or a grandbaby, looking around the room, or a great grandbaby. You have a great grandbaby. So you go in and out comes this little boy and he's so cool...
He's so cute. He's born with a little Ralph Lauren diaper and he just looks perfect. Here's what you're going to say: "Oh, thank you, God." But if he comes out and he's got six fingers instead of ten, he's got a foot that isn't working, I guarantee you the depth of your prayer life will just explode. You're at the doctor: "We're going to do a biopsy." "Oh, God. Oh, God." "It's clear." "Thank you, God." "It's not clear." "Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God."
And then He says, "Here's the deal, Paul. Whatever there is in your life, I can take it away." By the way, the very act of prayer is the assumption that He can do something about it. You wouldn't pray if you didn't think He could do something about it. And God says, "Paul, it ain't going to work this way. I'm not going to take it away this time. And it's for your own good. And don't worry, my grace is sufficient for you."
Celebrate Your Circumstances
The fourth thing is to celebrate your circumstances. He says, "Therefore," in the last part of verse nine, "Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness." Why? Well, because when I'm weak, that's when I'm really strong. I'm going to boast in the fact that I'm not this great guy.
First Corinthians chapter one, verse 18 to chapter two, verse five is Paul confessing to the church at Corinth that when he came to them, it was an acknowledgement of how weak he was. "I came in fear and trembling. I didn't know exactly the arguments to make. I wasn't really slick." There's a battle within the church of Corinth because a whole bunch of people like Apollos because Apollos was this powerful, strong teacher.
Celebrate in the circumstances. That's been the theme of this whole lesson.
Amaze Your Friends
And then lastly, amaze your friends. "That is why for Christ's sake," verse 10, "I delight in my weakness and the insults and the hardship in the persecution and the difficulty for when I'm weak, then I'm strong."
Let me just tell you something. When you are hurting, your whole world is watching you. Now, if everything's moving along slick, they're watching you hoping you'll fail. If deals are closing and you're making money and you win the lottery, they may smile and come to your birthday party, but they want to see you screw it up. Trust me.
Now, when there's adversity, they're watching. Here's why: to see if what you say you believe matches up with how you respond. And the revealer of that, for the most part, is going to be in adversity.
So the most powerful message in terms of reaction I ever preached: Sarah had her car accident on Friday. She's got brain trauma, and so on. I'm walking in on Sunday because nobody thought I'd teach and I'm thinking, what else am I going to do? So I go in and I'm teaching in the gospel of John. I walk in, three people stopped me on the way in and said, "God is good. Sarah will live." So I put my notes away and I did an extemporaneous message that was titled, "God is good even if she dies."
So it was in that moment where people are going, "Wow, he's talked about this. Now we've seen it. Now we've seen it in his life." So you've got to understand when that thorn in the flesh or that hurt or that pain comes, it could be financial, relational, physical, emotional, spiritual. When that pain comes, your friends and your coworkers and your enemies are watching you. And it's a great opportunity to amaze them.
So at the end of this whole experience, they go, "Wow." It's like Job at the end of this, where Job goes through 42 chapters of this that just beats the snot out of him. Some of you will remember when Darrell was at Scottsdale Bible Church, he taught the book of Job. The only people that suffered more than Job were the people at Scottsdale Bible Church who had to hang through his 14-year teaching of it. I'm kidding.
When you get to chapter 42, here's what Job says: "Before I heard about you, now I've seen you." That's the whole thing. I had heard about it. I heard what a great God you were. But now after all of this suffering, I got it. I see it.
Finding True Contentment
So here you go. How to be happy though married, how to be happy though single, how to be happy though broke, how to be happy though hurting. It's to find contentment, satisfaction, value in Christ.
Next week: lessons from my earthly master, lessons from Larry. So we'll take a look at that.
Father, take these words, make them real and true to us. Drive them deep in our heart. We ask it in Christ's name. Amen.