Living to Win Over Anxiety
Tom Shrader addresses anxiety as the third entanglement in his 'Living to Win' series, using Jesus' teaching from Matthew 6. He explains that worry about necessities, uncertainties, and frivolities is actually sin because it demonstrates a lack of trust in God's provision and care. The solution is to replace worry with prayer and thanksgiving, trusting that God will provide what we need as we seek His kingdom first.
“When I worry, it's a sin. What you're saying functionally is God, I don't trust you.”
— Tom Shrader
Series: Living to Win (2014)
Recorded: 2014
Duration: 39 min
Themes: anxiety, worry, trust, provision, prayer, thanksgiving, faith, peace, struggling with anxiety, financial stress, worried parent, caring for aging parents, facing uncertainty, new parent, overwhelmed adult, sandwich generation
Scripture: Matthew 6:24-34, Luke 12:11, Mark 4, 2 Timothy 4:9-11, James 1:2, Philippians 4:6-7
Theological Themes: providence, god's provision, prayer, intercession, faith, trust in god, kingdom of god, spiritual warfare
Full Transcript
Today, week three in our series, Living to Win, subtitled "Identifying and Unraveling the Entanglements of Life." There are things in life that come in, get around us, entangle us, and impede a lot of things, including just living itself. Here's the list, and there are eight of them. The first week was guilt. Then last week was weakness. You have the outline in front of you. Anxiety today, fear, worthlessness, loneliness, stress, uncertainty.
Defining Anxiety
Today's anxiety. Here's Webster's definition: Anxiety is a painful uneasiness of mind over an impending or anticipated event. So it's a painfulness, uneasiness of mind over an impending or anticipated event. I added to that—not to improve on Webster, but to clarify it for us—an anticipated or impending event, real or imagined.
The last time I taught on anxiety, somebody gave me this note. You can't see it, but you'll trust me. It's their handwriting, talking about anxiety, and their note to me was: "Don't tell me worry doesn't help. Nothing I ever worry about ever happens." So that's what we're saying in this—real or anticipated.
Common Sources of Anxiety
I have a list from when we first started to deal with this in 1990—popular anxieties. I don't think they've really changed much over the years, but rising prices, time, financial emergencies, lack of relaxation. So you begin to worry about not having time to relax, so you can't relax. Family illness, personal illness, making a decision. The bottom three in 1990 were loneliness, children, and aging parents.
My sense would be that those bottom three are probably a higher percentage than they were in 1990. I don't know that for a fact. I think children—somebody once said, once you have a child, it's like a piece of your heart is torn out and walking around, and I don't know that you ever end that kind of anxiety with kids.
I think in the simpler days, Sandy's dad, when she turned 18, Sandy said, "When do you want me back?" And he said, "Ah, you can stay out as long as you want. You're not going to live here anymore." And so when you're 18, you're just kind of gone. That's different now. About a third of adults between ages 20 and 30 are living with their parents. That's a big number.
Modern Family Dynamics and Anxiety
And that's probably even complicated more when you get an ever-increasing number of families who now are getting their kids back, and with that, often, a little bundle of joy attached to that, and on the other end, are getting their parents back at the same time. I meet often with guys who are raising their grandkids. I can't even imagine that.
The boys came over last night to pick something up, and they were there about five minutes, and I'm going, "Man, I think your mom wanted you home in five minutes." I mean, I don't have the energy. I can't imagine that, but I think God, I guess, would give you that. And then a number of people who now have their mom, their aging mom or dad living with them, and the tension that that would bring.
What Really Smart People Worry About
I found a list, and I'll go through it really quickly. This was one that interests me: 10 things really smart people worry about, or are scared of. Number one, artificial intelligence is about to create a super race of humans. Number two, aliens—if they're out there, there's nothing we can do to stop them. Do any of you worry about this? I mean, I knew none of us were really smart, but three, we all become socially inept, thanks to a constant stream of information whizzing past our eyes.
Four, we'll all become mind readers. That would be scary. Five, human beings will start living too long. Six, global water crisis is almost inevitable. Seven, World War III. Eight, drugs get out of control. Nine, we should be worried about worrying so much. There's a curse with being smart. I was always glad I wasn't. And then ten, they don't worry about anything. So that's what really smart people are scared of.
Jesus' Teaching on Worry
In Matthew chapter six, Jesus is speaking and giving us advice that becomes really the cornerstone for all that we're going to look at. And today, I think, can be really helpful if you are a sharp student of priority living, or at least of the stuff that I talk about regularly. You're going to see familiar territory, but hopefully very helpful. Today's really practical.
So Matthew, on your outline, we say chapter six, verse 25. Let me go back to verse 24 first. Jesus makes this statement: "No one can serve two masters. He'll either hate one, love the other, or he'll be devoted to one or despise the other. You can't serve"—and I'm reading from the New American Standard—"God and wealth."
So I'll unpack that from my perspective. I know very few people who are equally successful in the things of God and His economy and the world and its economy. And the reason is it takes effort to be successful in either one of them. And you have to choose. That's what He's saying.
Serving Two Masters
So let me take that and rephrase it, not to change Scripture, but to put it in light of our discussion. You can't serve God's system and God's values and the world's values. You're going to love one, hate the other. Something's got to have the trump card in your thinking.
And then Jesus speaks, and here's what He said: "For this reason"—what reason now? Well, you can't serve two masters. "For this reason, I say to you, don't worry about your life as to what you'll eat or what you'll drink and not for your body as what you'll put on it. Is not life more than food in the body, more than clothing?"
God's Care for Creation
"Look at the birds of the air. They don't sow. They don't reap. They don't gather into barns. And yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth more than they are?" And in case you're having a bad day, let me help you out—the answer's yes. You're worth more than a bird.
"And who of you, by being worried, can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe the lilies of the field. They grow. They don't toil. They don't spin. And yet I say to you, not even"
Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which are alive today, tomorrow, thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Verse 31, so we've come bookends here, don't worry. Verse 31, don't worry then, saying, what will we eat? Or what will we drink? Or what will we wear?
For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Here's the summary, verse 34. Circle, underline, mark, yellow. It's your screensaver. So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
The Framework for Not Worrying
So here we go. You've got it on your outline. We're going to follow the outline. Things to not worry about. The reasons not to worry. The risks in worry. And then what to me is helpful, here's the solution. Don't tell me just not to, what do I do?
So he said, here's three things, and you see them in this passage, not to worry about. Don't worry about necessities. Don't worry about what you're going to eat, what you're going to wear. Don't worry about uncertainties. Verse 27, who can add a single hour to their life by worry? Don't worry about frivolity. I would say verse 28 through 30, in many ways he's talking about fashion.
Don't Worry About Necessities
Don't worry about necessities. Now let me be real clear here, because I need definition in this. Because I hear don't worry, and I immediately begin to think, oh gosh, if I have legitimate concern, I've worried something's wrong with me spiritually. We're not saying that. If you've got a bill that's due, and that bill's higher than the resources you have, I would hope, as a citizen and a neighbor, that you would be appropriately concerned. There's something very different between appropriate concern and now it becomes obsession and worry.
Don't worry. It's not, well, I don't have to work. I had a guy that came to the study and saw him one day, didn't look very good. I said, what's the problem? And he said, I lost my job. And I said, yeah, well, you know, he said, I heard you say don't worry. I'm not worried. God's going to provide a job. I know it. I said, well, good. You know, God's good.
And so I saw him, I don't know, three, four weeks later and he looked better. I said, did you get a job? And he said, no, didn't get a job. And I said, wow, how's it? Is it tough out there? And he said, yeah, I think so. I said, well, how's the interview going? The process? Well, I'm not interviewing. Can't get any interviews. He said, I haven't tried. Really? God will provide.
Well, yeah, here's how he's going to provide, through a resume and an interview. I mean, that's how God provides. He doesn't provide with you sitting at home, going, oh, my gosh, I got to get family feuds on at 11. I got to be home to see that and I got to book. God will provide those necessities as He blesses your effort. It's not an excuse to sit back and say, I don't need to do anything.
Here's what He's saying. God's going to meet your need. So you have a need for food. He may meet it through a big old steak or He may meet it through a hot dog, but He's going to meet your needs. He's going to take care of those needs, whatever they are.
Don't Worry About Uncertainties
And don't be worrying about the uncertainties of life. Many of you in this room, not all of you, but many of you are planners. You calculate, you think, you keep score. You've been successful in different endeavors and that comes from preparation. But you can plan, but here's what you have. You have the uncertainties of life.
When we did the Doug Ducey interview the other night, some of you were there. Thought it went well, but he was talking about doing a budget at Coldstone and he was trying to equate it to the state. And he said, we had what we thought was a realistic budget. We had an optimistic budget and we had a pessimistic budget. And when tough times hit, we kicked into that pessimistic budget. And he said, when you think about it, ice cream is kind of one of those luxuries in life. You love it. It's not a big deal, but it's a luxury. And he said, when 9-11 hit and then when the economic problems in 2008, when that hit, we went to the pessimistic budget. Well, it's planning for those uncertainties.
I read a great article, but it was this guy who goes to the doctor, he's like 50, and the doctor said, you got cancer, we can't help you, we can't treat it, there's nothing we can do. You're going to die six months, maybe a year. So this guy writes this story about going, and he's got two buddies that he went to school with, they get together, the three of them, and essentially they put together their threesome bucket list. Joe's not going to be with us long, we're going to miss Joe. Joe, this is the last time you'll see the Royals in the World Series, for sure. This is the last time you'll see the Cardinals 6-1. There's a lot of things, Joe, you're going to see for the last time. He writes the article three years later, he was still alive, and both of his friends had been killed or died. That's life. I can't worry about what if.
Don't Worry About Fashion
He talks about clothing and what you're going to wear, and fashion. It was about 27, 28 years ago. I don't buy, obviously, many clothes. But when I do, I always buy at the end of the season. And it was the end of the season, it was about, I'll say spring, so the long-sleeve stuff was on sale. And I went into Dillard's, as I remember, and there were these long-sleeve, button-down, bright-colored plaid Ralph Lauren shirts. And they're like seven or eight bucks. I thought, wow, this is a deal. They're large, which I need in the middle, but I need small in the sleeves. They don't make them this way.
And I thought, well, you know what, they're not going to fit right, but at seven bucks, I can't go wrong. So I buy three of them. And I'm going in at the time to get some pants altered, slacks altered,
and I said to the woman, "Can you shorten the sleeve?" They can do this by cutting it and moving the cuff up, but because there's that little area in there, she said, "Your arms are so short, I can't do it. But I can make them short-sleeve."
I said, "You know what, at seven dollars, I now have $10 in alteration and $7 in the shirt, but let's make them short-sleeve."
So I come home, and my girls are around, and I said, "Hey, girls, look at what I got. I got this deal." I said, "Nobody wears plaid anymore." So I put them away.
About a year ago, I'm in there, and I've moved these shirts now from closet to closet, house to house. There's one—it's just a stunningly beautiful shirt. It's a Sunday morning. I thought, "I'm going to wear this." Buttoned down. All the guys are cool. Their shirts are out. Their collars are flying. And I got my plaid button-down shirt.
I walk in. As I walk in, I meet the guy from Student Ministries, and he said, "Tom, that is really a cool shirt." I said, "Really? Got it 28 years ago for seven bucks." That day, and now, as you see, plaid everywhere. That day, I had five college or younger guys go, "That's a cool shirt. Where did you get it?" Dillard's 27 years ago is where I got it.
Don't Worry Because It Offends God
I don't want to be worrying about the necessities or the uncertainties or the frivolities of life. Here's why—point two on your outline. Verses 31 through 33. The key is verse 32.
Here's what I noticed when I read this yesterday. I read it out loud. There's a phrase. I didn't catch it before, but you might circle it or underline it. It appears in verse 32 twice. Verse 33: "All things." "All these things, all these things you need." Verse 33: "Seek first the kingdom of God." "All these things will be added to you."
What? What you're going to eat, what you're going to wear, where you're going to live. All these things will be added to you. When you worry about them, verse 32, you're thinking just like an unbeliever. This is what the unbelievers do. It offends God.
This almost sounds too strong, but it's not. When I worry, it's a sin. We've talked about it before. In the evangelical conservative church, and that would be at least where I would be, you've got certain sins that if you commit these sins, these are the big ones. There's not a lot of grace for this. It's changing, but for sure, if you're gay, you're in trouble. There's no place for you. And if you're divorced, you might as well be gay. There's no place for you. Now that's changing. When I say no place for you, I'm saying there's not much grace. "He's really a cool guy." "Well, you know, he's been through a divorce." "Oh, well, let's sit him over here."
There are certain sins that we commit and we endorse. "I'm struggling with my weight." "Oh, that's just the way it is. Have a donut and pray about it." "I'm worrying." "Well, that's just the way you're wired." No, if you're worrying, it's a sin. What you're saying functionally—you with me on this?—what I'm saying functionally is, "God, I don't trust You. God, You said You're going to take care of this, but I'm really worried. I don't know if I can trust You with this."
Maybe this is strong, and maybe for some of you it's too strong. What I'm saying is, "God, You're a liar." Because isn't that right? Isn't that what He said? "I'm going to take care of these things in your life." And all of a sudden, I'm worrying about it. I'm saying, "God, apparently I'm not trusting You to take care of these."
Don't Worry Because It Weakens You
Not only does it offend God, it weakens you. Verse 34: "Don't worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Here's what He's saying. Here's today, and there's a worry quota for today. Don't be dragging yesterday into today. And you don't take today into tomorrow, because there's plenty of worry.
What my doctors tell me is that worry produces this stress, which shortens your life. Every doctor. I've got nine of these guys now. They'll come in. I've got a lot of pain going on. So I'll go to this doctor. This is the first thing she'll say to me: "Are you under a lot of pressure? Are you under a lot of stress?" The only stress I have in my life is you guys asking me this question. I'm so sick of this question, I could puke.
But what they do, I think, is create by the question this idea that stress is this big deal. But apparently, stress activates all sorts of other things in the body. Here's what He's saying: when you worry, it weakens you.
Don't Worry Because It Denies a Reality
It denies a reality. Turn with me to Luke 12, verse 11. Jesus, again, is giving instructions to the disciples: "When they bring you before the synagogues and the rulers and the authorities, don't worry about how or what you're gonna speak in your defense or what you're gonna say. The Holy Spirit will teach you at that very hour."
There's this reality that you have the Spirit of God in your life. And in that moment of crisis, God's Spirit will fill you, direct you, guide you.
There's a wonderful lady who, when I became a believer in 1980, was popular to read and to listen to. Her name was Corrie Ten Boom. How many of you remember that name? Some of you. She wrote books. They're not like the books we have today. The books we have today are the books where you get a sentence and they're very complicated and maybe I'm not smart enough. Corrie Ten Boom wrote these simple books about her life.
She wrote one book that was titled "Tramp for the Lord." You can get it online for 99 cents maybe. You can find it used if you go to a Bookman's or something. You'll find copies in there. It was a very popular book. It's just her story of living life for Christ, coming into a town and not having plans and reservations and confirmation—all the things that I love—and waiting to see how will God meet that need.
She learned this trust as a little girl. She was in Nazi Germany under the influence of the
Corrie ten Boom's father used to tell her a story that has always stuck with me. She was worried about the Nazis coming into Holland, and she went to her dad expressing her fears. Her father said, "Don't worry," but she kept worrying. So he asked her, "Corrie, when I put you on a train, when do I give you the ticket to get on the train?" She said, "Well, when we go to the station." He replied, "That's the way it is with the Holy Spirit. He's going to show up right when you need Him."
Every time I hear that story, I think of my mom putting me on a train. She used to put me on a train in Galesburg, Illinois, and I'd take the train to Sheridan, Iowa. Here was the advice my mom gave me: "Sit by a fat woman, she'll bring food." That was what my mom told me. I'm a little kid. I don't know what I'm doing, but I learned a lot as a kid by listening, so I would find a fat lady and sit next to her. Here's what my mom didn't tell me—she didn't share the food! I got to watch her eat a box of chicken and everything.
That illustration of Corrie ten Boom is so real. You get nervous and it denies the reality that the Holy Spirit will show up. This all becomes a moment of trust.
The Greatest Risk of Worry
The greatest risk to worry comes from Mark 4 and the parable of the sowers, and it deals right into what we talked about several weeks ago with Demas. Remember that? We studied Demas. His name appears three times in the New Testament, twice in a very favorable light. Paul's writing letters saying, "Luke is with me. Demas is with me." But then his last reference is in 2 Timothy 4:9-11, and Paul writes to Timothy and says, "Come quickly, Demas, having loved this present world has deserted me."
When I begin to worry, and in this case what he tells us why he worried—the love of this present world—step back to Matthew 6:24. You can't serve two masters. As I begin to worry, here's what happens: it doesn't solve anything. It intensifies stuff, and problems get bigger and bigger and bigger, and all of a sudden, it pulls me away from a trusting relationship with Christ and into a relationship where I'm trusting the world to solve my problems. It pulls me away.
"Demas, having loved this present world, has deserted me." Demas walked with Paul, saw Paul perform literal miracles, saw him in prison, saw God work, and at crunch time, when Paul needed him the most, Demas, having loved this present world, has deserted me. That word "deserted" means utterly abandoned in time of crucial need.
My mentor, and I always say outside of my immediate family, my hero in life is Larry Wright. I love Larry Wright. I would consider myself a follower of Christ, but a disciple of Larry's. If Larry wrote a sentence that said, "Tom, having loved this present world, has deserted me," it would crush me. That's what this worry will do—it will crush you. It will pull you away.
Knowledge and Trust
I know how this sounds right, but may not feel right. It's an issue of knowledge and trust. When we look at James 1:2, "Count it all joy when you encounter various trials"—the next word is "knowing." "Count it all joy when you encounter various trials, knowing the testing of your faith produces endurance."
I know something. It's true. I can rest on this. If I'm an engineer and I'm drawing the architectural plans for this building, I might look at it, eyeball it, and go, "That beam's going to sit on that ledge? That doesn't seem right." Yeah, but I know from physics that this'll work. I know that the testing of my faith produces endurance. I know He'll never leave me or forsake me. It's not just a bumper sticker. It's not just a screensaver. It's the truth.
I know in the middle of this deal, when it all falls apart, and I'm driving home going, "I don't know how this is going to work"—I want you to see the key part of that phrase. I don't know how, I just know it's going to work. I don't know what God's going to do, but I know He's going to do something.
The Solution to Worry
So what do I do in the middle of it? The solution is there on your page: Philippians 4:6-7. Number one, you have the ability to stop worrying. "Don't be anxious about anything." God's not going to command you here and not give you the power. Don't be anxious.
Well, what should I do? You trust Him in every area of your life. Philippians 4:6: "But in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Let me give it in simple terms: worry about nothing, pray about everything. "Should I pray about the little things in my life?" Well, I'm guessing that falls in the category of everything. Worry about nothing, pray about everything with thanksgiving.
Count Your Blessings
I remember early in my Christian life, I went to Grace Community Church in Tempe. You had Sunday morning and Sunday night. Sunday morning was suit and tie, Sunday night was sport coat—dressed down on Sunday night. There was a guy by the name of Jim Renz, Pastor Jim Renz, and he would lead the music on Sunday night. We'd sing some songs and then he'd get up and say, "Shout out a number." He'd have the hymnal. "Shout out a number—128." And it was always the same one almost every night.
He would get into it and it would go like this: "Count your blessings, count them one by one. Count your blessings, see what God has done." We need to be singing that to ourselves every day. "Count your many blessings, name them one by one." I have a tendency to complain about how much I hurt without putting it in perspective and saying, "Ten months..."
ago today, I couldn't walk in here. I was driving, and I have a convoluted way that I come. Well, I come a different way every Thursday morning. I love to drive through South Scottsdale and look at the old buildings. Those old apartment buildings south of the Valley Ho. Every time I drive through there, I expect to see Sammy Davis Jr. and Peter Lawford and Frank Sinatra come out of them. They're the coolest buildings.
I'm driving today and I was a little late, so I came over to McDonald's. I'm at McDonald's and Scottsdale Road, which has to be the slowest light on the planet if you're on McDonald's. There's a car in front of me, but a big dump truck in the right lane. So I know we're headed down to one lane and I figure, well, if the truck can beat this. What happens is the dump truck gets in front of me and I go down. We stop, we get down to, I think it's Invergordon's next and then it goes by City Hall. I'm following this dump truck. Now there are police lights up in front.
Here's what I thought in real time. I'm going, this has been a hard drive. Okay, let's debrief. What was hard? I got behind a dump truck and there is a light up ahead that may slow this down 30 seconds. And I thought, God, thank You for the car. I put gas in it this morning. Thank You for the gas being available. And thank You that I've got the money to pay for it.
Replacing Anxiety with Thanksgiving
A lot of the tension in life can go away if I replace that anxiousness with a spirit of thanksgiving and then present your request to God. I love this. When I present my request to God, there's two things I'm acknowledging.
I think I've told you this story before. I got a call from the city of Chandler. "Pastor Schrader"—that's always a problem, right? "Could you come and pray at the city council meeting next Tuesday night?" I'm constantly talking about civic involvement. All of life is all for Jesus. We need to be engaged. They're reaching out to us. They're inviting us in. I understand it's a formality and I understand all that stuff, but yeah, I said, absolutely.
Well, they forgot one very important adjective. Could you come and offer the closing prayer? So I had to sit through this whole city council meeting that I've encouraged people to run for. It's a boring meeting. We don't have a Kmart and I was hoping there was a Walmart on the agenda and there'd be arguing. Nothing. City council, this, that, my dog barks, blah, blah, blah. So we're sitting through it.
Finally the mayor said, "Pastor Tom Schrader is here to close our council meeting in prayer. Pastor Schrader." I went up and I said, "Father, thank You that we can be here. Our very act of praying shows two things. One, we believe You care. Two, we believe You can do something about it. In Jesus' name, amen."
What Prayer Really Acknowledges
I looked up at the city council because my suspicion is they invite these guys in and these guys see it as their opportunity to give a state of the city address to the council. "Father, as we gather together today and contemplate the streetlights that aren't working and the streets that are torn up." When I said what I said, it just came out. I was tired. I knew they had to be tired. They didn't want to hear me.
But the very act of praying, think about what I do. When I pray, I'm submitting myself to God and I'm saying, You care and You can do something about it. And You will do something about it. Now You may not do what I want You to do because that's how I pray. That's how we pray.
I'm in a lot of praying meetings. We're pastors, so we got to pray before everything and appropriately so. I don't mean to minimize it. But the prayer is all, "Father, we have big decisions before us today." Well, really? We're going to figure out whether to pave this or gravel it. That's not, "Father, we have big decisions before us today and we're not really sure. Should we pave this? Should we gravel it? Should we make it grass? Father, give us wisdom in this."
Here's what we say. "Father, is it A, B, or C?" And He goes, "You know what, Tom? It's Q." But I paint Him into a box. Even when I come to Him in prayer, I paint Him into a box. Even then, when I'm acknowledging He cares and can do something about it, I come in with my limited vision and say, "God, let me help You out. Let me eliminate all the other options." Look how manipulative that is.
The Peace That Passes Understanding
You can give your control to God and then—we'll close with verse 7—"and the peace of God which transcends all human understanding will guard your hearts and minds." Who would you rather have in control of your life? You or the almighty creator God who spoke the world into existence?
Now, I know the answer. You got to say the God thing. But in your heart of hearts, who would you want? Well, God. Well, when He takes this over, here's what you receive. A peace that passes all understanding. I can't explain it. Have you been there? Use those words.
You're in the middle of something. I've done it. Today, October 30th, is the anniversary of Susan's death. My daughter wrote a great note to Sarah and Haley. I think Haley wrote the note last night and she said, "It was this night three years ago where we all slept together in hospice with mom. It's the last time the four of us were together."
A Personal Example of God's Peace
I remember that day. I remember when Susan died, we were all there and it's over. I remember because we had determined we weren't going to have any sort of an open casket. This was it. When we left that room, that was it.
I watched these little girls bawling, crying, weeping. I remember Haley so broken hearted and I said, "Hey, we got to go. We can't stay. They need to do what they need to do. We got to go." She's just bawling her eyes out. And yet I watched those girls. Some of you were there. I watched
The girls got up at Susan's memorial service and it was the culmination of everything. It just poured out of them in that moment. I went and I'm watching them thinking I didn't believe they could walk to the car. Now they're eulogizing their mom.
The next night was Halloween and I'm watching us all together. We have a family tradition we've developed that's kind of lazy on my part, but it works. All the kids come to our house and then we have our kids give out candy to the kids that come. The only problem with it is the kids passing out candy are a little more generous than I would be. They tend to pass it out like they'd like to receive it. But I watched the girls the next night and I thought, man, they pulled it together.
But here you go. I know this sounds trite, but life goes on. They got these four little kids, each of them. They got to figure out how to navigate. And I found myself saying, "I don't know how you do it." They said, "Yeah, dad. Yeah, you do. You teach it all the time. We have a peace of God that passes all understanding. We know mom's in a better place. We know we'll see her one day. We know all these things are true."
God Is in Control
Here's the summation for me. I know life. I think I understand the human condition and the human heart as well as not maybe everybody, but most. And I'm not saying deny all the hurt and the pain—emotional, physical, relational, financial. I'm not saying deny it. Here's what I'm saying: God's in control. Therefore, I don't have to worry.
Not only do I not have to worry, it's counterproductive to worry and it denies the reality that God's in control. And let's close with this: He loves me more than I love myself. That's incomprehensible. He loves me more than I love myself with a perfect love. And I know that all this stuff in life, I know it's going to come, but I know He's in control.
Somebody will come up to you and say, "How are you doing? I'm doing well. Hey, I've been praying for you and praying for you and praying for you. Remember last year when I saw you and you were telling me about that situation? I've been praying. How's that going?" And you're going, "I don't remember what it was." Why? Because God just steps in and He takes care of those things. And we're so selfish and self-absorbed, we don't even remember what we spent all this time and worry on a year ago.
He's a good God and you can trust Him.