Accepting Your Authorities
Tom Shrader teaches from Ephesians 4:30 about how rebellion against authority grieves the Holy Spirit. He defines rebellion as rejecting God's direct or delegated authority in four key areas: workplace, family, government, and church. Through practical examples, he shows how submission to earthly authorities is ultimately submission to God, while rebellion against them is rebellion against God Himself.
“When I rebel against that boss I'm disobeying God.”
— Tom Shrader
Series: Person to Person
Recorded: February 02, 2018
Duration: 38 min
Themes: authority, submission, rebellion, obedience, relationships, workplace, family, government, struggling with authority, workplace conflict, employee, parent, citizen, church member, new believer, young adult
Scripture: Ephesians 4:30, Ephesians 4:29, Ephesians 4:31-32, 2 Corinthians 1:21-22, Ephesians 1:14, Psalm 78:40-41, Isaiah 63:9-10, Colossians 3:22, Colossians 4:1, Colossians 3:18-21, Ephesians 5, Romans 13:1, Titus 1
Theological Themes: holy spirit, sanctification, biblical authority, submission to authority, spiritual maturity, grieving the spirit, divine authority, ecclesiology
Full Transcript
If you have Bibles, will you open them to the book of Ephesians? We are in week two of what will be a four-week series. The title of the series is Person-to-Person, subtitle: Improving Interpersonal Relationships.
I don't know that you're going to go, "Wow, I never thought of this," but you might not have thought about it in a while. When we talk about Genesis 3 and man sinning, we talk about a relationship that's broken between God and man. So at Christmas, we sing the carol with the line, "God and sinner reconcile." What you might not think about is that when we sinned, we shattered our relationship with everything and everyone.
That's why life is so tough. That's why you have a booming industry now in human resources. How do I get along? That's why you've got—and we can argue about the exact number—but you've got 50% of marriages that don't work. Think about that. That's two people who voluntarily, theoretically anyway, voluntarily enter into this relationship for better, worse, richer, poorer, sickness, health, till death do us part, and half the time it doesn't work. That's why you have tension at work. It's why you have tension in the line, any interpersonal. We're broken. I'm broken, you're broken, 7 billion of us broken. Now you put us together and we try to live.
Four Topics for Better Relationships
In this little section of Ephesians chapter 4, verses 29-32, we pulled out four topics that relate to our relationships with each other. The first is verse 29, and we called it mastering your mouth. "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only the word that's good for edification." So my speech is to be positive, "according to the need of the moment, that it'll give grace to the one that hears." In my interaction with people, my speech should be positive, constructive.
Dropped in the middle of this is something really interesting to me. I want to build them up according to the need of the moment. I tend to come into a conversation assuming I know what that other person needs, rather than let them tell me. The Mayo Clinic did a study—I'm going to get this pretty close, I think I got it right. From the time the doctor says, "How are you doing?" it's 23 seconds till he or she interrupts you. That's not very long to tell me how I'm doing. I don't know how all these guys, I don't know how it all works, but if you're going to diagnose me, you ought to listen to how I'm doing.
If you're going to be in a relationship, and you're sitting down, if you're married, with your spouse—this is what I found is helpful. I still don't do it very well, but it's helpful. I'm going to be more valiant as Sandy's husband if I let her tell me what she needs, rather than me tell her what she needs. So my speech is perspective, and then it's constructive.
Next week, we're going to look at taming your temper. It's verse 31: "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away along with all malice." Verse 32: "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ is forgiving you"—freeing your forgiveness. In any relationship, any encounter, there are endless opportunities to offend, to hurt, to crush, and I need this process of forgiveness, so we're going to talk about it.
The Question of Authority
Sandwiched in all this is verse 30. Look at it with me, would you please? "Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption." Here's what we're talking about today: accepting authority.
Now in all those other verses, you can kind of look at them real quickly and go, "That's about the tongue, that's about anger, that's about forgiveness." But you look at this and you go, "Really? How do you get accepting authority?" Did you get into this and you needed four weeks, so you had to figure how to twist this around and make it fit? No, hopefully we can help you see that.
So look with me at verse 30: "Don't grieve the Holy Spirit of God." That immediately raises the question: How do you grieve the Holy Spirit? Not a language we use typically. How do I grieve the Holy Spirit? And it's the Holy Spirit "with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption." What does that word "sealed" mean? And then for sake of our discussion, getting to the practical part of it, what's this have to do with relationship?
What Does It Mean to Be Sealed?
Let me answer the questions in reverse order. What does it mean to be sealed with God's Spirit? I'll give you two passages—you can turn there, write them down, listen, however you want to do it. Second Corinthians 1:21-22 and Ephesians 1:14.
The Second Corinthians passage: "Now it is God who makes us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, He set His seal of ownership on us, He put His Spirit in our heart as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." This idea of being sealed with the Holy Spirit—the very book we're in, Ephesians, Ephesians chapter 1 verse 13: "In Him you also after listening to the message of truth, that's the gospel of salvation, having also believed you were sealed in Him."
Now here's the nature of this group, this time right here. Some of you right now, we're going to lose you. You're either going to come in and there's not a background there, we're going to start talking about stuff and we're going to lose you for about three, five minutes. Some of you are going to have enough of a background that we're going to start and you're immediately going to raise up with a bunch of questions. To both of those groups I'm saying hang in there.
Here's what the seal with the Spirit means. We believe that God saves sinners. When I was in grade school, the nuns taught us to diagram sentences. I don't know if they—I mean I think now they're happy if you can read a sentence—but diagram a sentence. I remember one day my dad worked at the bank and I remember one day I was
I was very frustrated. These nuns wanted you to diagram sentences and draw lines with rulers. It was precise, and I was frustrated and rebellious. I said to my dad, "Did you diagram any sentences at the bank today?" He had no idea what I was talking about, but he knew enough to whack me alongside the head because he knew it had something to do with school.
Well, I never thought I would use diagramming sentences, ever. But I did when I got to the sentence "God saves sinners." God—Father, Son, Holy Spirit—is the noun, the subject. "Saves" is the predicate, the verb, the action.
Understanding Our Sinful Nature
Let's make sure we define this a little bit. We talked about how when man sinned, we were separated from God and are by nature sinners. It's not that I sin and become a sinner, but the Bible says I am a sinner and that's why I sin. That's why you don't have to teach your kids to lie—you have to teach them to tell the truth.
Your flinch is to lie. In the old days, before caller ID, that phone would ring at night and one of the kids would answer and say, "Hello." They'd come and say, "Dad, it's Mike from work." He'd say, "Tell him I'm not home." Then the kid would go and say, "He said to tell you he's not home." But why is that your flinch? Well, I'm a sinner. I'm separated from God.
God's Action in Salvation
I need to be—and the language the Bible uses is—saved, rescued, delivered. God saves you. It's the actor: God. The action: saved. In the sentence, you're the direct object. I'm kind of by nature a lazy guy, so a great place for me in a sentence is direct object because the direct object doesn't do anything. The direct object is the recipient of the action from the actor.
God saved sinners when—and again, some of you, we're going to be right back, so be patient—by your very nature, there's no desire in you, will in you, or ability in you to believe the gospel. But God puts that in your heart. There was that moment in time for many of you, maybe not all, when you heard the gospel and you believed.
Circumstances were different, but the substance is the same. It may have been in college. It may have been at a study. It may have been in a conversation. It may have been in private reading, but you believed. There's that moment where who you were—your identity—changes from sinner to saint, so that if you were to die at that moment, heaven is your destination.
The Seal of the Holy Spirit
What "sealed" means is that the Holy Spirit comes along and—this language is inadequate—closes that deal, guarantees that deal, and in essence, escrows it. Now, the problem with that is I've had a lot of escrows blow, but this cannot be broken. It indicates ownership. He puts His seal on you. It's the seal of ownership.
A document in that day and age—they would sign a document, they'd use hot wax, they'd use a signet ring, and that seal would indicate ownership, authenticity, guaranteed it. I was talking yesterday about Larry Wright, and talking to somebody, and they were saying, "You mentioned Larry, tell me about Larry." I am absolutely convinced, based on what the Bible teaches and Larry's profession, that Larry is in heaven. I'm convinced of that.
I'm equally convinced that those of us who right now are truly Christians—big statement now—are as certain of heaven as Larry. Not because you're strong, but because the Holy Spirit's strong. He sealed you. He guarantees you. He sets you apart. He empowers you. To be sealed is that certainty, that security. You're God's kid. You've been adopted into His family.
What It Means to Grieve the Holy Spirit
Here's what we want to get at: What does it mean to grieve the Holy Spirit? I'm going to give you two passages, both from the Old Testament. Psalm 78, verses 40 and 41, and Isaiah 63, verses 9 and 10. I'll read them to you, and you'll get this rhythm pretty quick.
Psalm 78, verse 40: "How often they rebelled against God in the desert, and grieved Him."
Isaiah 63, verse 9: "In their distress, He too was distressed. In His love and mercy, He redeemed them. He lifted them up. He carried them all the days of old, yet they rebelled and grieved the Holy Spirit."
In his study Bible footnote on chapter 4, verse 30, when MacArthur's talking about grieving the Spirit of God, he said, "God is grieved when His children refuse to change the old ways of sin for the new ways of righteousness." What grieves the Holy Spirit is when I rebel against Him.
A Key Teaching Moment
In my mind, this is a key moment in the lesson right here. I had coffee with a guy yesterday, and he was asking me about life—what do I enjoy, and what do you like most? I said, "Well, I love to teach." Then he asked a question that nobody asks: "What's the best moment of teaching?"
Here's what it is for me. It's when there's something you know is really important, that you communicate it, and the Spirit communicates it to the people, and we get it. That's a big moment. Second to that is when there's something that you see that in your life was really important, and you communicate it, and you get it.
One of the most disheartening things—this is a sad sentence, and it happens all the time—is you got something, and you go, "This is really good," and then you drop it out there, and you get the look you got on your face right now. You get that look. This is one of those moments.
Defining Rebellion
Let me give you a definition of rebellion, and this is really an important definition: The decision to reject direct or delegated divine authority. Let me give it to you again: The decision to reject direct or delegated divine authority.
I think if we were to put our heads together and say, "Let's come up with a definition of rebellion," we would get, "reject God." What this definition does is climb right into where we live every day. It's to reject God's direct and His delegated authority. The direct we got figured out. So you're in the office, and a couple—
Weeks ago they hired a new lady, and you've been scoping this lady out pretty tight. You kind of floated a few little gestures by her, and you notice when she talks, half the time she'll touch your arm a little bit, which is always—and when she does, you get a little flutter. You're not sure if you're having a heart attack or you're excited, but you're fluttering. So you're trying to figure out, is something going to come of this? What should I do? Because I know this is going to upset my wife. Now, I know that's going to be a problem.
Let me help you. You don't need to pray about it. You don't need to think about it. You don't need to talk to your friends about it. God's really clear. Don't do it. It's His direct authority. We see in here all sorts of direct commands. Don't do this. Do this. All that.
But God also has delegated lines of authority. So if rebellion is to reject these, submission is to accept God's divine or delegated authority. Now the beauty of this lesson is you can apply this within an hour of leaving this room because you're going to be in one of these four areas, if not all four of them, today. God's delegated divine authority is in the workplace. It's in the family. It's in the government. It's in the church.
So let me net it out and then come back. If I'm in a position of God's delegated authority, and I'm rebelling against the person God's put in my life, I'm rebelling against God. Does that make sense? That's not hard.
Authority in the Workplace
So let's look. We'll look at all four of them, but really focus on two or three. At work, in Colossians 3:22 and 4:1, He uses the term slave and master, which may sound like your workplace. I don't know. But employee, employer.
"Slaves obey your earthly masters in every way and do it not only when their eyes upon you and to win their favor but with sincerity of heart and reverence for God." You're to be the best employee in that office or the best employee you can be not only when there's a supervisor there because there's always a supervisor there—God's there. When I don't obey that boss I'm disobeying God. Now your head's spinning so we're going to deal with some of that in a minute.
Then He says, "Masters provide your slaves with what is right and fair because you show that you also have a master in heaven." So some of you are in extraordinary positions of power. You are the boss. Always remember boss spelled backwards is double SOB. But you're the boss. You're the manager. You lay out the rules. You set the compensation. You create the culture. He's saying I want you to do this in a way—listen to these words they're subjective—but in a way that's right and fair. Why? Because you have a boss.
For a junior high camp we say look up here if you got an org chart and here you are and then your key directors and then this so you get this org chart and you're up here. What God is saying is there's one more box on that org chart that you've forgotten—it's above you—it's Him. You're to bring God's kingdom into that office. I almost feel—no I don't know—a little corny saying it but it's really how would Jesus run your office? How would Jesus compensate your employees?
A great place to look I think is at the bottom of the pay scale. That person—let's say she's a single mom who's working at entry-level spot who's working full-time for you and another job at night and another one where she fills in on weekends and you're paying her 20 grand. Why are you paying her 20 grand? Why aren't you paying her 23, 25? Three grand to you doesn't make any difference—you're going to blow that when the five directors go down and have drinks and dinner—but it's a life changer for that person.
When I come to the marketplace as an employee I'm to work for the glory of God. As a manager I'm to manage for the glory of God.
Authority in the Family
Here's the second place of delegated authority and we'll spend some time here—it's the family. If you have Bibles you can turn there to Ephesians or to Colossians chapter 3 verse 18 through 21. I'll read it and duck as I read it.
"Wives submit to your husbands and is fitting to the Lord. Husbands love your wives and don't be harsh to them." And then—and that's probably not applicable here—"Children obey your parents."
So in the husband-wife relationship we illustrate this point. God says wives submit to husbands, husbands love your wives. If I step back here's the takeaway: if I'm a wife and not submitting to my husband I'm rebelling against God—not him but God. If I'm a husband and—this is a lot easier—and I don't love my wife I'm rebelling against God.
Now I understand in the middle of a lesson to drop that in there I understand lots—I mean some of you ladies have a very stern look on your face at this moment and I know what it is I've been down this road a billion times—it's that submit thing. Because the minute I hear it I want to know the exception. Well what if I'm smarter than him? Well you're not that smart because you picked him. You must not be as smart as you think you are.
But we see—and I talk about this with the guys and this is just a casual observation in all of the settings I'm in at Grand Canyon or ASU or with our young men and women—not even close. The girls, ladies, women are way smarter, way sharper, way stronger spiritually. There's a problem brewing because that gal is going to marry a guy and it's pretty hard to submit to somebody when you're sitting there going well I'm smarter than him and sharper than him and more spiritual than him. That's why this is an important deal. You got to remember 3.5 billion fish in the sea and this is the tuna you picked. This is your guy. You said it from the beginning. If you've had kind of average premarital counseling they made this clear.
And the word submit—with children He says obey—it's submit. It's to line up under. So I'll get that when I teach it. Here's the car I got.
A question is, "Sandy, in submission to you?" and I'll say yes. And the question will be, "Give me an example." Well, I'm embarrassed here. I can't—it's just—it's as much an attitude as anything. When we're making decisions, I'm constantly yielding. I'm constantly going, "This is your deal."
Sandy and I are so different. I mean, she could bench press this building, and I can't get that back door open. But we're wired different. So the other night Sandy was at BSF and I lost my hearing aid. Don't know what happened and I'm stuck. And I have this—like this is so not me—I have like this little mini panic attack because I really need this thing.
I'm thinking, "Well, where could it be?" And I'd gotten in the freezer and found some Girl Scout cookies and I thought maybe it dropped in the freezer. How could it fall out and me not know it? I don't know. I looked all over. I went to bed. Sandy came home. I don't remember it, but she said I woke up and said, "Sandy, I've lost my hearing aid," and then went back to sleep.
Marriage and Mutual Respect
The next morning she got up at 4:30 so she leaves. I get up and I'm recreating this and I'm going, "I had it when I was watching TV and then I didn't have it, so it has to be in the house. It has to be here." I went through—I thought, "Well, maybe I put it on the bed. Maybe I went to sleep." I felt like I went through, found all sorts of stuff, didn't find it. Made the bed, which turned to be cool. Sandy thought that was nice.
I'm looking everywhere. I'm in the kitchen. I'm beside myself. I'm rubbing my head. I'm looking down and there it is on the floor. No clue how it got there. And I'm telling Sandy this—not much sympathy flowing my way from her on this—and she said, "Don't you wish you were as organized as me? Because everything has its place. Everything is in its place." And so that drive—when we're trying to figure out bills and loans and cars and all that, I don't need to be—I'm Tom and I'll make the decision. It's an attitude. Far more important for me is to get around the idea that if I'm not loving Sandy, I'm disobeying God.
And in the Ephesians cross-reference to this, Ephesians chapter 5, He tells us that we're to cherish and nurture our wife, to value her. I thought—so much I've taught this passage or some version of it for 30 years. What I want from Sandy more than anything on earth is for her to respect me. That's what I want. I just want to be respected. I want to be loved and those kinds of things, but I want to be respected.
That's why, ladies, I can explain some of His irrational behavior. When you come up to a stop sign and you say "go left," he only has three alternatives: straight, right, and reverse, because you just took away left. He's not going left. See, Sandy and I are going to a soccer game on Saturday—last Saturday—and she said, "It's down at the school and we were there two weeks ago." I said, "Well, I don't know who you were with. I wasn't with you." "Yeah, we were there, remember?" And so then I remembered it.
So we're driving down, and she's going—and now I got in my mind kind of where it is. And she's going, "Why don't you go down McQueen?" Well, I was, until you said go down McQueen. I'm going to go down Arizona. And now she's got this GPS thing, and I've got this lady I don't even know telling me, "In half a block, turn right at Galveston." I got everybody telling me everything. Ladies, guys are 99% ego. They just want to be respected. And guys, they want to be loved. That doesn't mean sex. That means nurtured.
Understanding Roles in Marriage
I sent Sandy a note yesterday, and I was thinking about her, and I was telling her that I loved her, and then I was telling her how I'm seeing her at work and how proud I am of her. And my hope was not to manipulate her, but that that would nurture her.
If you're in this husband-wife relationship, and let me really emphasize, it's husband-wives. The Scripture says, wives submit to your own husbands. I'm with a guy, and he's telling me, "I got a problem at work," and I said, "What's your problem?" And he said, "My boss is a woman." And I said, "What's the problem?" "Well, I'm not supposed to submit to a woman." And I said, "Where do you get this stuff?" "Well, wives submit to husbands. Husbands love your wives." That's not what it's talking about.
He's saying, in that marital relationship, wives line up under their husbands. Is he going to make mistakes? Yes. Is he going to make stupid calls? Yes. Is he going to screw it up? Yes. Let me give you a tip, and don't stick it in his ear when he does.
Husbands, love your wives. Are there going to be times when she's unlovable? Yep. Are there going to be times when she doesn't deserve it? Yep. Are there going to be times when you don't feel like it? Yep. But you love her, why? Because when you love her, you're loving God. See how that works?
Accepting Authority as Citizens
What drove me to this whole series is point three: accepting authority as a citizen. It feels like, on a national basis, this is where we are. Romans 13:1: "Everyone should submit himself to governing authorities, for there's no authority except what God has established. Authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently"—and this can't be any more clear—"he who rebels against authority is rebelling against God."
Now, for me, this is a big deal. When I was in college, Richard Nixon was president. I had my dad and his generation tell me, "If you can't respect the man, respect the office." Finally, he's gone, and you get Jimmy Carter. And I heard, "If you can't respect the man, respect the office." And then Ronald Reagan, who for many was really a problem, and they're saying, "If you can't respect the man, respect the office." George H.W. Bush, which is kind of beige, so there's not a lot of reaction back and forth. Then Bill Clinton: "If you can't respect the man, respect the office." And then W, where you had a lot of division. Barack, a lot of division. Donald J. Trump: chaos.
In the middle of this, here's what it's saying: He, she, whoever is governing is God's authority. If they tell you to do something, and it's not a violation of what God commands,
Government Authority
So when I drive, if I'm driving to Tucson, I will put my speed control on 79. Because somewhere, somebody told me that 80's the break point, or whatever. But if a highway patrolman pulls me over, here's exactly how it's going to go. Can I see your driver's license? Your registration, your insurance? Yes, sir. Give it to him. He's going to come back, he's going to say, do you know how fast you were going? Yes, sir, 79. Do you know the speed limit? Yes, sir, 75. And he's going to start writing.
And in my heart, I'm saying, why don't you go catch a real criminal? And in his mind, he's saying, I just nailed a real criminal. But what are those four miles going to do? It's a 90 minute trip. It picks me up four minutes, five minutes. God put governing authorities over us for our own good.
The Challenge of Submission
In Romans 13:1, everyone must submit to the governing authorities. The minute you hear the word submit, you want to go, I have a question. What if I'm in Nazi Germany? Okay, this is easy. You aren't. You're in Paradise Valley. Now, it feels like Nazi Germany sometimes. But I don't care about Nazi Germany. You're not in Nazi Germany.
I get the nuance of it. I'm not an idiot. What he's saying is there's something that's revealed in your heart when you want to rebel against that authority, and God put that person in authority. Now, that leads to all sorts of discussions that I think are not incredibly beneficial. But when I rebel against Barack Obama, Donald Trump, John McCain, Jeff Flake, the mayor, the city council, when I rebel against them, I'm rebelling against God.
Church Authority
And then the last one is church. He's put authorities over you in church. They're called elders. And He says in Titus 1, I appointed elders to encourage you in sound doctrine. There are many rebellious people, but you should submit to them.
God's put this authority over us, and what this reveals, that authority, is my sinful heart. I want to push back. The problem's not the authority. The problem is me.
The Heart of the Matter
And it's really sloppy. It's human relationship. And the challenge is not loving Sandy when she's lovable. The challenge would be to love her if she wasn't. The challenge for Sandy is not to submit to me if I'm making all sorts of great decisions and nurturing her and loving her. The problem is when I'm not. But God says, in your heart, when you rebel, you're grieving the Holy Spirit. You're breaking God's heart.
Well, in human relationship, when there's conflict, there's going to be flare up. There's going to be temper. How do we deal with that? Really practical. We'll look at it next week.
Father, let us be men and women who are instruments of peace and reconciliation and justice and love and submission, wherever You put us. God, we can live this today. Help us do that. We pray that in Jesus' name, amen.