Graphic Depictions
Tom Shrader addresses pornography and graphic depictions as part of his series on God's design for sexuality. Using David and Bathsheba's story from 2 Samuel 11, he demonstrates the progressive pattern of sin from looking to lingering to acting. Shrader emphasizes that what we see profoundly affects our thinking and behavior, calling believers to control their minds, inspect what they consume, and choose what pleases God rather than themselves.
“What you see affects what you think, and it will begin to affect how you act.”
— Tom Shrader
Series: Sexuality by Design (1999)
Recorded: 1999
Duration: 43 min
Themes: sexuality, purity, temptation, sin, marriage, boundaries, holiness, design, struggling with pornography, married men, young adult, battling temptation, husband, father, new believer, seeking purity
Scripture: 2 Samuel 11, Romans 12:1-2, Ephesians 5:3-4, 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22, Romans 16:19, Ephesians 5:8-11
Theological Themes: sanctification, biblical sexuality, imago dei, god's design, sexual ethics, progressive sanctification, biblical worldview, creation order
Full Transcript
You are going to experience something a little bit different this morning. We showed up yesterday for yesterday morning's study at the cafeteria, and the staff was not there to open the cafeteria. So that means obviously we didn't do a study, which means that this is the rough draft that typically we would do yesterday. You normally see the finished, polished product. So bear with me as we work our way through this.
Let me remind you it's week three of a series titled Sexuality by Design. The whole premise of the series is this: our whole life, this whole world is not an accident. There is a design and a purpose for all things, and that purpose and design is provided by God. When we look at different areas in our life and can understand how God created us and what God had in mind for us, then our lives are going to be lived in alignment, if we'll do it, with His blueprint and His plan. Life is all of a sudden going to take on a fullness that you never dreamed possible.
A Story of Resurrection
I'm going to do this Sunday a couple who are celebrating their 10th anniversary, and they want to redo vows. It's really interesting, because I met with them. They did something really terrific. Here's a little tip if you ever want to meet and talk about something: they sent me ahead of time their bios and their stories. So I didn't have to... It forced them to be concise in theory. I mean, they went on for three or four pages, but I knew their story. It wasn't a one-hour exchange of listening to stories.
What you saw here is a couple who had seen a marriage that was dead. There's a great story in there where they're separated. He comes to visit her, and she says, literally, as he gets off the plane, she began, and this is her word, to shudder, to shake. She didn't want anything to do with this guy. He made her absolutely sick. She didn't want to hear him talk. All she wanted to do was figure a way to get rid of this guy.
There were all sorts of excuses. There was adultery on both sides. This thing had no life. And God intervenes in his heart and saves him. It's an incredible story of God not restoring, but resurrecting a new relationship. Their whole emphasis on this ceremony Sunday is to be able to communicate to their friends that God has a blueprint for marriage. And He does. And when you follow it, it works.
God's Design for Sexuality
It's the same thing that's true in this area of sex. God's designed you as a sexual creature. You know that. But there are perversions of that. And what we need to do is to try to understand who we are and what God's design would be.
I have long argued, because there's this idea, and it's almost fashionable to say, men don't understand women. And I don't know. I think I do. I think women don't understand men. And nobody talks about this. I have the boldness to say it. I don't think you understand what deviants they truly are. I don't think you understand how awful the men are. That's my theory. So I've upset everybody today, which was my desire at the beginning.
The Issue of Graphic Depictions and Pornography
In no area do you begin to really understand that than when you get to the issue before us today, the issue we've called graphic depiction. It really spills over into the area of pornography. All of the issues that were there in the past are exaggerated in the world we live in today when you add the Internet to the whole conversation. So what we want to do is give you just a sense of what we're talking about and then look at some biblical principles for how we begin to deal with this.
I think that, at least as our premise line is, what I see begins to affect how I think, and it will begin to affect how I act. You know, in his last interview before his execution, Ted Bundy said that there's no question in his mind that pornography played a major role in what he did. Not saying it explains it in and of itself, but saying it explains some of what he did. And statistics would bear that out.
The Statistical Reality
Here just from a variety of sources. The Michigan State Police discovered that in 38 cases of sexual assault on file, 41% involved the use of pornography just prior to the act. Pornography was the foreplay in the sexual assault. The FBI reports that 81% of serial killers in prison said that their biggest sexual interest—and this was outside of prison—was reading pornography.
It's not just the U.S. The Canadian Department of Justice found that almost half of the studied rapists used pornography to arouse themselves before seeking a victim to rape. Almost 50%. You see the pattern? The Attorney General's Commission on Pornography—this is the real one, this is the one that Ed Meese did—found that exposure to pornography is the strongest predictor of sexual deviance.
It is silly to think that you can watch this stuff and it doesn't have any effect on you. We see it. It's funny. When you listen to people, we see it all around. We can't afford to allow a child to see a backpack with Joe Camel on it, because that will make them want to smoke, which I think is just stupid, my own personal view. But somehow, those are the same people that say, I can look at this pornography and it's really not going to affect me at all.
How Images Affect the Mind
What you see affects what you think, and frequently, it's going to affect how you act. There was a gentleman at UC Irvine who did a study on all this. Why is it that way? Why is it that these things get into your mind and you can't get them out?
His conclusion is that after doing research, he suggests that the memories of experiences which occur at times of emotional arousal, including sexual arousal, are difficult to erase. His findings suggest that a person's memory of sexually arousing experience gets locked in to the brain chemically. These things get on your hard drive, and there's not a button
The Lasting Impact of Visual Images
Those powerful sexual memories keep reappearing on the mind's memory screen, stimulating and arousing the person over and over again. What you see affects what you think. It begins to affect what you do.
I can't approach this from a woman's perspective. I don't know. It's interesting—the common thought is guys are visual, gals are not. There was something that I saw or read the other day that said just as many women are aroused by visual pictures as men are. So maybe it isn't just a gender thing. I don't know.
But this explains to me how this stuff can get on your mind, how you can be even in a setting—and again, I don't know about girls, but guys—you can be sitting in church at a time of communion, and in pops to your mind some of the most horrible things. How does that happen? Or you can be in a setting and see a person, and it launches you off into this whole process. What's going on there?
The Progressive Dehumanization Process
In another study, and these all start to tie together, they took a group of normal men. Now, I don't know what that means, okay? They took a group of normal men, and they exposed them over a six-week period to non-violent adult pornography. Here's what they began to discover: over this time period, there was a developing increased callousness toward women. After watching this for periods of time, women are dehumanized in this process—all of a sudden, they just became objects.
They trivialized rape and other criminal offenses. As these guys watched this thing, they developed distorted views of sexuality—what was normal in a relationship, what was normal in a sexual encounter between two people, even in the case of a husband and wife. All of a sudden, what's normal becomes changed.
As you know, I do not counsel women. That's for my own protection and just safety, and I just don't think it's the right thing to do. I have, on instances, been in counseling sessions where women are in there, but there'll be another woman, and typically my wife, that is in there with me. I can't tell you—and I've been in a lot of these—how frequently in the area of sex, the woman will say, "My husband's involved in this pornography, and so what he's doing is he's asking me to do more and more bizarre, deviant things."
The Escalation Pattern
Here's the fourth thing. After six weeks, what this revealed is that there was an appetite that increased for more things that were a little more over the edge. What got you all excited on Wednesday of the first week is kind of a yawner by Wednesday of the third week, and you're dozing by the fifth week, saying, "Wake me up when they get to the real good stuff." After I watch this for a period of time, monogamy and long-term relationships are devalued, and non-monogamous relationships become moral.
Let me hit the pause button here, because here's what I want you to see—this applies not just in the area of sex, this applies across the board. What they were able to do, although they didn't set out to do it, what they were able to do is to change people's value systems without indoctrinating them at all with anything new.
Cultural Desensitization
I believe this is what you see going on in the culture over and over and over again. As you see these things over and over and over and over and over again—frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn—we're traumatized when we hear this on the screen for the first time, and now we give that a G rating. See how we have evolved in this process.
It's not just in the area of sex, it's in the area of anything in your life that is wrong. The more you're exposed to it, the more you begin to move your standard more and more toward that deviant behavior.
Clarifying the Pattern
Now here's what I want to be clear on. I am not suggesting, although there is a pattern here, a general pattern that goes like this: First a guy, typically a guy, is hooked on this stuff, and then he needs to escalate it with stronger doses, and then it becomes desensitized, it becomes legitimate, and then he starts to act this out.
Let me be clear. I am not suggesting—it would be stupid to say—that every person that looks at pornography is going to be a mass murderer. That's not what I'm saying. But it's equally stupid to say, "I can look at this and look at this and look at this, and it doesn't have any effect on me."
A Real-Life Example
The last time I taught this, this was great. These are one of those moments you wish would happen more frequently. I'm on my way to the car, and a guy stops me, and he says, "I don't buy what you said."
I said, "Really, what don't you buy?"
"I can look at this stuff, and it doesn't affect me at all."
Now we're walking to the car. We come to his car first, and we're standing there, and I said, "Really?" I look at his car, and there are these tapes. Now I recognize them as motivational Tony Robbins tapes, and I said, "What are those?"
He said, "Well, those are motivational tapes."
I said, "Really? Do you listen to them?"
He said, "Every day."
I said, "Really? Every day? Every day you listen to those tapes every day? Why?"
"Well, because I hear them," and I said, "But you heard them once."
He said, "Yeah, but you've got to hear them over and over and over again, and after a while, these motivational tapes..."
I said, "How dumb are you? Look at your argument. Look at what you're trying to argue with me. I don't even have to debate you. You answered your own debate. You listen to Tony Robbins all day, and it affects you, but you can watch this stuff all day, and it doesn't affect you at all? I don't buy it. I don't buy it a lick. It's going to have some effect."
Moving Toward Solutions
How do we begin to deal with these areas? How in our own mind do we protect ourselves against this? How do we use common sense? If what I see affects how I think, and ultimately begins to affect what I do...
where can I pull some principles? What does God have for me in this? It takes us to a story that's pretty familiar to many. Even if you're not a Bible scholar, you're familiar with this story from 2 Samuel chapter 11. It's the story of David and Bathsheba.
Let's read our way through it, and then let me just fill in some of the gaps for you along the way. One evening, David got up from his bed, walked around on the roof of the palace. He saw a woman bathing. The woman was beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her, and the man said, isn't that Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah the Hittite? And then David sent a messenger to get her. She came back with him. She slept with him, and that's because he's the king there. When she went back home, the woman conceived and sent word to David, we got a problem. I'm pregnant.
So David sent word to Joab, and he said, send me Uriah, but Uriah slept at the entrance of the palace, did not go up to his house. That's David's house. In the morning, David wrote a letter to Joab and said, send me Uriah, and sent it with Uriah. In it, he wrote, put Uriah in the front line where the fighting is fiercest, then withdraw from him so that he will be struck down and die.
The Slippery Slope of Sin
Now here's the plan. This is David. Here's what he's doing. He's out wandering around. He's up on the palace, out on the roof, and all of a sudden, he sees something. He sees this figure. He can't make it out. This is where we know that David uttered those famous words, "get me the royal binoculars." So now David is studying this. He analyzes this.
He brings Bathsheba in. He has that power. He orders her in. He sleeps with her. They mate. Her husband, and this is what's interesting, David's troops at this time are out fighting. David should have had his little keister out there with the guys. He shouldn't have been hanging around on the roof, but he didn't.
He orders Uriah. That's her husband. And here's the plan. David's going to bring him back, try to get Uriah there early in the day, say, I'm too busy to meet with him. Uriah, being the hot-blooded guy that he is, he's going to go home, hasn't seen Bathsheba for a while, and so on. Then they're going to come back. When she turns up pregnant, he's going to go, well, it must have been when I went home to meet with David.
Uriah is such a man that he says, how could I go and allow myself that privilege with my wife at that moment when my men were fighting? And he sleeps on the concrete in front of David's house, waiting for David. The plan fails. He brings them in. And this note is literally a death sentence, that he goes back with a command. And what they do is, if you're in the front line, you are almost inevitably going to die. But to make sure, Uriah leads the charge, and then he orders to bring all the guys back. And there's Uriah standing all by himself, and he'll be killed by the enemy.
A Man After God's Own Heart
David's involved here in sex. David has now impregnated her, and now he's involved in murder. Now, here's where you get really, to me, kind of cool in this process. In the midst of all this, we know that he's a man after God's own heart. How does that work?
I believe that what we see is not in David's life that he never sinned. We've got some pretty good sins going on right here. What we see in David's life, inevitably, is a brokenness over his sin, and a repentance over his sin, and an acknowledgment and dependence that God is everything in his life.
I've said this a million times. If I say to somebody, how are you doing spiritually? They'll say, well, I'm doing great. You know, I'm leading a small group, and I just read a book, and I'm singing in the choir. That's fine. Maybe not the choir part, but the rest of it's okay.
Some of the greatest indicators of where you are spiritually is how you respond to your own sin. How do you respond when you sin? See, I believe that the premise before us, that as you begin to get away with this, and as you begin to sin, it is truly a slippery slope, and after a while, you're almost numb to your sin. Can you just go ahead and sin, and it has no effect on the way that you see God, or you see yourself before Him? That's David's story.
The Pattern of Every Sin
I believe there's a pattern here, and the pattern that you see is about not just David's fall here, or a sexual fall. I think it's the pattern that you see in every sin. I don't know what your sin is. Maybe you're sitting here today going, you know, this is a giant waste of my time. I don't struggle with this. This isn't an issue for me. It doesn't even affect me. It doesn't even apply to me. Well, the rest of this will, because whatever your sin is, you've got this pattern.
There's a tendency that you stop, and you begin to look, and you begin to evaluate. You understand that something is wrong, and then you begin to entertain a temptation. You start to play with this. The idea of entertain here is to linger, or to dwell on. You stop, and there's a temptation. You can't stop the temptation. Jesus was tempted. You can't stop the temptation, but you can stop the sin.
Spurgeon says it this way, as only Spurgeon can. It's one thing to have a bird fly over your head. It's quite another to invite Him to nest in your hair. It's one thing to be tempted. It's quite another thing to dwell on the temptation.
And then pretty soon, I begin to now explore the possibilities. What could happen from this? How could this play itself out? What if I said this, and she said this, and I did this? Then I begin to execute this plan. I start to act on it, and then I begin to plot and cover up. See that in David? See, that's David in this whole process. He understands it's wrong. That's a given. He sees her. He begins to act on it. Now he carries this thing out, and he ends up in this wicked plot to cover this out. So many relationships. It's not even the sin.
You know it, because some of you have been through this. It's not just the hurt of the sin. It's the hurt of all the lies that came along to cover up the sin.
There's no right answer here, but let me ask you to think about it, and then I'll give you my view. What's the critical point in this? In my mind, the critical point in this is number two. A critical point is where I stop and I linger.
We said to you last week, interesting statistic, two-thirds of all adultery in the country takes place in the workplace. So that's how this thing starts to set up. You know, you come in, and here's this gal, and I only do it again from a guy's position, and here's this gal. Here's a new gal, and she's the new receptionist.
You get back to the back of the office, and you say, who is this chick? I've never seen her before. Man, she's really something. She just started. Well, you know, because you've worked there for eight years. You know the receptionist takes a break at 10 o'clock, so at 10 o'clock, you're in the break room, and there she comes, and you say, hey, I haven't had a call come through yet, but I'll bet you're proficient on that switchboard, aren't you? And yes, I am, and she's got her little Diet Coke, and he gets his little Diet Coke.
The Process of Mental Compromise
And now, he just starts in his mind to begin to think about her, and that's where this thing starts. Now, he starts to linger on this. He goes home, and now, Mr. and Mrs. have a little argument. There's a little disagreement. She says, you're not going to touch me until hell freezes over, and he said, well, hell never freezes over, and now, it begins, and now, he's thinking not about her, but he's thinking about the gal back at work.
And the next morning at 10 o'clock, he's by the Coke machine with a roll of quarters, waiting, and now, it's lunch, and it's all this stuff that goes with this thing. And that's how that process, or some variation of that, that's how it happens, and you laugh because you know it's true.
I really do believe that in a lot of offices, you got a lot of men and women who are dating. I mean, they're eating lunch together, they're out for coffee together, they're talking about all this stuff together. They just aren't calling it dating, and they're not talking on the phone at night about the prom. They're dating, but they just aren't calling it that.
And then, here's how you know, gals. Here's how you know when this guy has really got you in the crosshairs. This is when he starts to open up to you emotionally. When he starts that act, now, you know the guy's trying to nail you, right?
Well, you know, my wife, she just doesn't understand. I want so much to communicate, but she just shuts me down. How good is that? And you're going, oh, I feel so bad. I certainly, what is it? What are those inner thoughts that you have? He hasn't had any, and his inner thought is about the Yankees and the Mets. He has no inner thoughts. It's not there. His thoughts are about how he can manipulate and maneuver you. And that's how that process happens.
Six Steps for Controlling Your Mind
Well, what do we offer for you? Six steps here, some instruction. Number one, recognize the importance of controlling your mind. We go back frequently to Romans chapter 12, verses 1 and 2. In this case, especially verse 2, "Do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you'll be able to test and approve what is God's will, what is good and pleasing and perfect in His will." Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
One of the translations says, don't let the world squeeze you into its mold. The Living Bible says, don't copy the behavior of the world. The battle here takes place first and foremost in the mind. What I see affects what I think affects how I act.
A Letter from Prison Ministry
I'm going to read you this letter. The people who are in church Sunday will recognize this. We have a guy by the name of Chuck Holmes who goes to our church. Chuck is an ex-prisoner. He had a miraculous salvation experience in prison. He came out, and in the process, God did a great thing. He locked him in prison, and so consequently for four years as Chuck sat there, all he could do was study God's Word. And he came out with a marvelous understanding of God and God's Word.
And he came out with a heart for prisoners, for educating them, and for teaching them. And he started a ministry that's become an important ministry at our church. It's called Mount Nebo Prison Ministries. I had somebody in my office yesterday who had a little bit of money, and they said, I'm looking for a place to give money, and there are so many organizations around. I could stand up here and just start to list them for you. But I listed for Him Mount Nebo, because here's one guy by Himself who's banging away, who's in an expensive ministry.
Because the ministry is this. He contacts the prisoners. He sends them a 12-study workbook. When they complete the workbook, he then sends them a MacArthur study Bible. So we control the material that goes in, the material that they do, review the study lessons they do, and then give them quality study Bible at the end.
And I said to the guy, here's a place where a little bit of money makes a gigantic difference, and that's Chuck Holmes. If you're ever here, and you're thinking about a little bit of money, Mount Nebo, I think they're in the phone book. If they aren't, you can pick them off the web page. If not, I'll have some information.
But Chuck was in my office last week, and he gave me this letter. And I read it, and I said, well, he made me a copy, because I knew the lesson for last Sunday. I didn't know that I'd use it today. But let me just read you this letter.
Dear Mr. Holmes, now part of my conviction is he gave it to me because somebody would call Him Mr. That's why I think he gave me the letter. I come before you at this time from
A Letter from Prison
I want to share with you a letter I received. It came at the recommendation of one of the Christian brothers on the yard here at CMC East. He's in prison in San Luis Obispo. Not a bad place to be in prison, I guess.
"I've been in the Department of Corrections for nearly 24 years. I've never even thought about picking up a Bible before this past month, which is when Steve started preaching to me and told me about your ministry. I have been given an NIV Bible that's helpful, but I feel I'm ready for a Bible study, and then perhaps a study Bible."
See, he's already primed for the system. He knows this stuff. "My name is Eddie Perez. I'm a 52-year-old Mexican-American. As I said, I've never picked up a Bible before a month or so ago. The majority of my life, I spent hating everyone and everything. I was once a member of a prison gang" - and he lists the gang here. Chuck told me you had to have killed someone to be in this gang. It's a prison gang, hateful gang. "I spent 21 years in this organization, so my heart was filled with negativity, hatred, and evil. I'm happy to report that today I've found God."
The Power of Mind Transformation
Now, here's what I want you to hear. I go through all that to get to this sentence: "I feel His love changing my way of thinking and the way I view life." See what this guy figured out? It's not about behavior. It starts first in changing my mind, because what I see affects what I think, which will ultimately affect how I act. What he says is that God's love has moved him and changes the way he thinks and changes the way he lives.
"Love, God's love is the most wonderful thing I've ever been given. I want to learn all I can about the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I would appreciate any and all literature you could bless me with in my quest for better understanding of Christ Jesus." I feel ashamed in my own life in this. This guy's saying, "Send me anything," and I've got stacks of books everywhere that I've never even opened.
This, at least on the surface, is real, true conversion. His heart says, "My mind changed." That's what Paul says: "Don't be conformed to this world, but be transformed" - not remodeled, not remade, transformed. "I'm a new creature." How? By the renewing of my mind.
The Battle for the Mind
My mind starts to - see what I'm saying? It's what I said before. When I ask how you're doing spiritually, you want to talk to me about what you're doing, which is fine, but I want to know what you're thinking. Do you still see life as you did before? In this whole battle, in this area of sex, or whatever the sin is, you need to understand first and foremost that it's important for you to control your mind.
God's Standard of Purity
Secondly, understand the environment that God prescribed for you: "But among you, there should not even be a hint of sexual immorality" - that's what we're talking about. You shouldn't even be messing around with any of this - "or any kind of impurity" - and I like that He included it - "or greed." We're talking about sex, but your sin may be different. You may just be a slimy little greedy guy here today, because these are improper for God's people.
He goes a step further: "There should not be obscenity, or foolish talk, or coarse joking, which is out of place, but rather thanksgiving." There ought to be a sense in which I begin to act on this. He broadens out. He says it's not just in this area of sex. It's in greed. It's in the way you speak. There shouldn't even be a hint of this. When you say you're God's people, your life - and I know these are hard words - your life is to be holy and pure.
The Water Test Illustration
Imagine if you go home today. I go home. I go home, and I open the mail, and here's the letter, and it says, "Mr. Schrader, don't be alarmed." Now, the first thing you're going to do is what? Be alarmed. "We've tested your drinking water, and it's 99% pure." Well, immediately, I'm in with some system to purify the existing water, or bring in spring water or something from the outside, because I know I don't want to be drinking impure water.
How much does it take to make the water impure? How much does it take in your life? See, here's the point. Look at His word. There should not even be a hint of this stuff among you. You shouldn't even be messing around with this stuff at all. You shouldn't be playing on the fringes with these things.
Inspect Everything Before You Take It In
Here's the third thing: you should inspect everything before you take it in. "Test everything. Hold on to what is good. Avoid the things that are evil." We've got, it seems to me, way too many people in this process who are exposing their lives, especially their kids, to all forms of evil. Inspecting it - that's His words - test it. That implies some sort of a standard. Test it against what? What should this stuff look like? It's very important to understand God has a view of this stuff.
The Problem with Parents Today
I guess I would bring this down to your kids. I personally have long held this theory that the majority of people really don't love their kids, and I believe that. I just think you couldn't possibly say it, because what kind of an ogre wouldn't even love their kid? But if I would love my kids, then my primary purpose and focus and priority would be the raising of those kids. I wouldn't let them watch any old thing. I wouldn't let them go anywhere.
We got kids that are out of control today for one very simple reason: we got parents out of control. We've removed all form of discipline. I don't mean from the school, I mean from the parents. The reason is, you're too busy with other things to be devoted to being a parent. This raising kids is hard work, and what makes it hard is, you got to say no to them.
No. No. No. No. No. No. No. "I'm not going to give you a walkman, because I don't know what you're going to listen to." "You don't trust me." Bingo. No. No. No. No. I don't trust you. Why would I do that? No. No. No. No. Now, to those of you who have small children, now's the time.
To those of you who have had teenagers, you go running in there with no now, and you're just going to have havoc all around. Is it too late? No. It's not too late. But I'll tell you what, you're going to have a very hard time putting limits on.
When we raised our kids, when they were small, the boundaries were like this. We had friends that let their kids do whatever they wanted to do, and I thought, that is the dumbest thing in the world. Our boundaries were like this, and as they got older, the boundaries... I have a 20-year-old and an 18-year-old, and I cannot think of one rule we have at our house. Not one.
Do they get to do whatever they want? I didn't say that. We just don't have any rules. I get this all the time. What's the curfew for the 18-year-old? We don't have one. She can stay out as late as she wants. No, I didn't say that. But I'm not going to say, be in by 12:30. You know?
She's going to a game. When's the game over? 9:30. What are you going to do? Don't know. You've got to be home by 10. We're going to a game, then we're going to go to the movie. When's the movie over? 1:30. All right. Be home by 1:30. See how that works? For me, anyway. How can you do that? Because we knew down here what those boundaries are, and I trust her. See?
Testing All Things
In this area, I'm testing these things. You test these things, you hold on to what is good. This all starts to come together. Avoid the temptation to be an expert on evil. Everyone has heard about your obedience. I'm full of joy over it. I want you to be wise about what is good, innocent about what is evil.
There's a sense in which there's an innocence about all this that's going on. There was a movie that was really popular a few years ago, Fatal Attraction. And I never saw it, but I had a bunch of friends that saw it. And they kept saying, I mean, did you see the movie? And I said, no.
And they said, man, I'll tell you what, you know, there's this... if ever you were thinking of committing adultery, this would stop you. And I said, really? Why? And he goes, oh, man, they've got this. Michael Douglas and Glenn Close, and they have sex in the elevator, they have sex in the sink, they have sex all over this place, and then they get caught.
I said, you know... and they said, I don't know why you wouldn't see a movie like that. I said, well, let me tell you why. A couple of things. Number one, I don't need a movie to stop me from committing adultery. The Bible tells me that's wrong. And it's not that I don't see the movie because I wouldn't enjoy it. I would.
The problem is, every time I brush my teeth and spit in the sink, I'd think of Michael Douglas and Glenn Close and wonder if they'd been in the sink before I was there. I could never get in an elevator again. It's not because I'm so strong. It's because I know how weak I am. Well, you're just... that's it. You're just weak. You know, why not see that?
Why Not Versus Why
It leads us to the fifth point. Rather than ask, why not, why not, why not, let's ask the question, why go see it? Why put yourself through all this? And I'll tell you, especially for those of you, and it's almost everyone in this room at varying levels, for those of you that are leaders in the Christian community, and almost all of you are leading someone, someone knows you were here. Somebody knows you come. Somebody thinks that you are a Christian. They're watching.
I had a guy, and I said, what did you do this weekend? He said, ah, I went to a movie. I said, what movie? He said, ah, I'm embarrassed to tell you. And I said, well, if you're embarrassed to tell me, you shouldn't have seen it. What movie was it?
And he said, ah, and I said, well, why would you see that? He said, let me tell you what happened. He said, we're driving, and I'm saying to my wife, I don't think we should see this movie. So he said, now we go in, and we buy these tickets, we're standing in the lobby, and he said, we shouldn't be seeing this movie. This is stupid. We got these tickets. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to go in, sit down, and when the movie starts, we're going to leave.
I don't even know what kind of logic that is. But he says, I just am convinced I shouldn't see it. As the movie lets out, out comes my pastor. Now, I'm not making any judgment. Let me say it to you again. I'm not a prude in all this stuff.
All I'm saying is, this guy who's convicted he shouldn't see it is now convinced it's okay because his pastor saw it. All it does is raise another question, and that is, should the pastor be there? I'm not making judgments. Why not? That's what I get. You're legalistic. I'm not. I'm into this freedom gig.
But the question is not always why not, why not, why not. What's the point of seeing this? And it's not just movies. What's the point of doing whatever it is you're doing?
Light and Darkness
In the last and final analysis, our final point, clarify these differences between light and darkness. Paul writes to the church at Ephesus, and he said, as children of light, the fruit of light is goodness and righteousness and truth. Find out what pleases the Lord, and have nothing to do with fruitless deeds.
See at your heart, rather than put in some sort of legalistic system where now I'm going to rate movies, and this is one you can see, and this one, see this, but close your eyes for 28 seconds here. The question isn't why not. The question is why. And ultimately, the question is, why, why would I do this if it doesn't please God?
I'll tell you why. I'll answer it for you. Because you want to please yourself. That's always the issue. The issue is always, are you going to please yourself or please God?
You know what's interesting? If you please Him, you will ultimately please yourself. There is a joy that I cannot explain to you, unless you've experienced it, about obeying God, knowing what's right, doing what's right because it's right, and God puts a joy and a peace and a fulfillment in your heart that you'd never find anywhere else.
In all this world, with all this stuff around there, don't kid yourself for a second that you can look at this and it doesn't affect you. What you see affects how you think and it's going to affect, ultimately, how you begin to act. If you're playing around the fringes with this, you need to know you're playing with fire.
I can just tell you from a month's worth of people in the office, a call yesterday from a wife filled with tears. Got her husband on the internet two or three months ago. Got a call from him today. I'm involved, sexually, with my secretary. I'm in California. I'm not coming back.
Now, does one lead to another? Again, cut me a little slack here, but do you see how those things start to progress? They start to be grouped together. You start to see them, and I'm telling you, you're on a slippery slope, and you can't control it. I don't care what you think. You can't control that.
You need to be very careful what goes in through your eye and into your mind because once it's in there, it's going to stay there. It's only going to be through the supernatural power of God that's going to get erased from there.
Looking Ahead
Next week, we look at the issue that last time we did this series, lit up the phones, caused the mail, had people walk in. It surprised me because I didn't think it would get that reaction, and people were very upset about this issue next week. When we do eight weeks in this series, next week we take a look at that.
Let's pray together. I know you're wondering what it is. Isn't that perfect?
Let's pray together. Father, help us see this. Help us understand that we are creatures that are created to commune with You, that our purpose and our meaning in life, our direction, all comes from You. God, put in our heart a love for You and for Your Word.
Help us take a look at all the things in our lives, every issue, and ask some serious questions. Why am I doing this? Why am I involved in that? Why is this so important to me? Why is this job so important to me? Why is this house so important to me? Why is this freedom to look at whatever I want? Why is it so important to me? And ultimately, is it good and does it please You?
God, help us make decisions through that grid. Help us look at life as You see it and follow the things that You'd have for us. We ask it of You in Jesus' name, Amen.
See you next week.