Live Life Confidently

Tom Shrader explores the fourth principle of staying straight in a crooked world: living life confidently. Drawing from Philippians 1:6 and Jesus' frequent command to not be afraid, He explains that Christians can live boldly not out of self-confidence, but because of God's grace and completed work in salvation. Tom addresses the most common fears people face - death, financial insecurity, rejection, loneliness, suffering, failure, and insignificance - showing how the assurance of salvation and God's sovereignty provides the antidote to all fear.

“You do not need to be afraid of anything in life because the antidote to all your fears is Jesus.”

— Tom Shrader

Series: How to Stay Straight in a Crooked World (2001)

Recorded: February 15, 2001

Duration: 45 min

Themes: confidence, fear, faith, courage, security, boldness, assurance, stability, facing financial struggles, dealing with rejection, overcoming loneliness, fear of death, fear of failure, feeling insignificant, new believer, struggling with anxiety

Scripture: Philippians 1:6, Matthew 6:27, Matthew 6:33, Romans 8, Acts 2:24, 1 Peter 2:11, Hebrews 9:27, Genesis 50:20, 2 Timothy 4, Deuteronomy 31:8, Ecclesiastes 3:10

Theological Themes: salvation assurance, eternal security, sovereignty, gods sovereignty, sanctification, biblical authority, grace, spiritual maturity

Full Transcript

This is section 4 of our series titled "How to Stay Straight in a Crooked World." When we use the word "crooked," the implication here is not corrupt, although we know the world is corrupt, but rather a world that's lost its direction. In a world that says something is definitely right one week, and a week later it's wrong, or vice versa, there's no stability. You live in a state of flux. Not just with technology, but a moral and ethical fluctuation. Where do we find stability in that? That's what we're talking about. In your life, even though circumstances continue to fluctuate, there's stability in the midst of your life. That's a very desirable thing.

Building on Previous Foundations

We build on the previous weeks. First week was to establish the Bible as the final authority in our life. We start with this premise: that this is the Word of God. That this Word is inerrantly correct, it's infallible, there's no error in it, it can't possibly err. It is God's Word, and we believe this from Genesis to Revelation.

So now we have in our hands all that God wanted to communicate to us. Everything that God wants us to know, we have here. If it's not in here, either we weren't smart enough to know it, or He said we didn't need to know it. Everything that we need pertaining to life is right there. So we establish the Bible as the final authority in our life.

Here's the second thing: we develop a lifelong passion for learning. Obviously, for learning God's Word. No question about that. But also for learning in general. So we're continually taking in information, understanding that as the world around us changes, those are great opportunities as well.

I was talking to a guy yesterday who does some work with the CIA in the area of spying. They said they used to have to have guys on the ground - say, for example, Turkey. They'd have to have a guy on the ground to understand how they did all their communications. He said they can go right into the Internet now, and all the information's right on there as they're trying to sell cellular communications to the people who live in Turkey. He said they can get a lot of information that's just right there. They used to have to have somebody go and physically look at it. Really interesting thought process. So we're learning.

Making Godly Decisions

Here's the third thing: make godly decisions. So the Bible's the final authority in my life. I continue to learn it. Now it's time to make decisions. Most of the problems that you have in your life, you've created. You've done stupid things. You looked at something, you knew it was wrong, you sensed it was wrong, you got that feeling that it was wrong, talked to a couple people. That's the only reason you seek advice - because you know instinctively it's wrong. And you just go ahead and do it anyway.

Then you have a bad outcome, and somehow you're a victim in that process. You're a victim of your own stupidity is what you're a victim of. You did what you knew you shouldn't have done, and now you live with those consequences.

Now there are also things that come into our life, come rushing into our life that we can't control. We'll talk about those in a couple of weeks. We'll mention them today. But by and large, if we make godly decisions, we make good decisions, and a lot of the aggravation in our life can be spared by making godly decisions.

I know of no illustration that is more universally applicable in this area than who you date and who you marry. If you're single and you're dating somebody that's not a Christian, I don't think you have the freedom within the Scripture to do that. I think it's a dumb decision, but you can do it. But you go ahead and marry that person, you are condemning yourself to a life of frustration.

I would bet 80% of the stuff we see at the church of interpersonal relationships in marriage flow from one of the partners violating the very basic truth of a non-Christian and a Christian marrying. And it's so clear because we're really clear on where we stand. You don't have to stick around me very long to understand how I feel about it, and it's amazing how many people come in and say, "I know I did this, it's my fault, but..." Right when they're looking for compassion is where I tell them there's no "but" - you screwed it up, just stop right there, put the period right there. That's why my counseling load gets lighter every year. I don't have to mess around with a bunch of counseling.

Living Life Confidently

Here you go, here's number four - this is the only point for today. Now I can live life confidently. You have in you the right to be bold. It's not self-confidence, it's not that swagger, that arrogance that you look at. It's not that you're better than somebody else. In fact, it's got nothing to do with you, it's got everything to do with God. And all of this is based on the fact that you're a Christian. I think we said that the first week. If you're not a Christian, this is just some helpful advice, but it isn't going to save you.

If I'm a Christian, there's a confidence in my life. There's a sense in which I can live life boldly. Why? Well, Philippians 1:6: "He who began a good work in me will continue it until the day of Christ Jesus." So important.

We had a guy in one of the studies a few years ago, and one day I was just making a comment. The whole lesson had one point. I made maybe a 30-second reference to Ephesians 2:8 and 9, that I'm saved by grace through faith. I made just a passing comment that our salvation is not based on our faith. Our salvation is based on God's grace. And this guy was so absorbed, he said, "I've been around church literally for decades, and today I began to get it for the very first time. I'm not saved by anything I do. I'm saved by what God did."

Let me read to you from this book called "The Glory of Christmas." Last Christmas, I had one of the...

About every third day, she would send me this little clipping from something. I'd say, "What is it from?" And she said, "The Glory of Christmas." I'd say, "Man, this is incredible." Then about three days later, I'd get another one. I'd say, "What's it from?" She said, "The Glory of Christmas." Three days later, I'd get another one. I'd say, "What's it from?" She said, "The Glory of Christmas." I said, "Why would you not buy me this book? Why are you piecemealing this to me? Why don't you get me this book?" So she said, "Well, they're all out of them." So I just ordered it the other day.

Just listen. This is good stuff. "Ponder the achievement of God. He doesn't condone our sin, nor does He compromise His standard. He doesn't ignore our rebellion, nor does He relax His demands. Rather than dismiss our sin, He assumes our sin and incredibly sentences Himself. God's holiness is honored, our sin is punished, and we are redeemed. God does what we cannot do so we can be what we dare not dream: Perfect before God."

Listen to this little section. This is really good. "Please note, salvation is God-given, God-driven, God-empowered, God-originated. The gift is not from man to God. It's from God to man. Grace is created by God and given to man on the basis of this point alone. Christianity is set apart from any other religion in the world."

Christianity vs. All Other Religions

Let me just stop right there a second. We've made this point to you before. You've got Orthodox Christianity and then you've got everything else. Everything else is all the same. Put yourself in some denomination, you pick it, I don't care. You pick them out, it doesn't matter. Put yourself in Hinduism, Buddhism, it doesn't matter. You've got Orthodox Christianity and then you've got everything else over here all in one bucket.

Here's the difference right here. Let me read it again. "Grace is created by God and given to man. On this basis alone, Christianity is set apart from every other religion." Every other religion approaches God in a bartering system. If I do this, God will do that. I'm either saved by works—we're talking about other faiths now—I'm saved by works, something I do, emotions, something I experience, or knowledge, what I know. By contrast, Christianity has no hint of negotiation at all. Man is not the negotiator indeed. Man has no grounds to negotiate. We're saved by grace through faith. He who began a good work will continue it until the day of Christ Jesus. We know that.

The Security of Salvation

If you're sitting here today and you're trying to figure out, "When I die, am I going to go to heaven? Maybe I will, maybe I won't." Or if you're saying, "Boy, I'm going to heaven if I die today, but if I sin, boy, if I screw this up, if there's something I do here, I can somehow blow it and I don't go to heaven"—at that point then, you don't understand real salvation. Because real salvation is a gift of God, it's based on grace, it's not based on your merit, and there's nothing you can do to lose it.

That's Romans 8. What can separate me from the love of Christ? The love that Christ has for me. And the answer is nothing. Nothing can separate me from the love of Christ. Now, based on that, now you see how this ties together? Based on that, I can live life boldly. I don't have to be worried. I don't have to be afraid.

Jesus' Most Frequent Prohibition

One day I'm driving down the road, I'm listening to somebody teach, I don't remember who it was. This guy said, "The most frequent prohibition that Jesus gives us in the New Testament." Then he paused, very dramatic pause, and he said, "Let me say it again. The thing that Jesus tells us most frequently not to do, we take all of the teaching of Jesus, the thing that He prohibits us from doing more frequently than anything else, in fact twice as much as any other prohibition, is do not"—many of you in this room know it—"do not what? Be afraid. Do not be afraid."

And why does Jesus say that? I'm convinced two things. Number one, He knows we're wimps. He knows we're afraid of everything. We're such pathetic creatures that we wake up in the middle of the night and we're convinced it's Charles Manson in the corner and it's a coat on a chair. We're afraid.

Here's how pathetic we are. We're afraid of stuff that doesn't even happen. We're not just worried about things that will happen to us. We're worried about things that won't happen. Look at money. The only thing that we worry about more than getting money is what? How are we going to keep it? How are we going to hang on to it? What if it happens? Good grief. The market's up, the market's down, the market's sideways.

The Antidote to Fear

The other thing is, knowing man and how we think and act and behave, God says you don't need to be afraid because here's the antidote to all your fears. The antidote to all your fears is Jesus. See, I want you to grab this one point. We'll spend the next 30 minutes on it. You do not need to be afraid of anything in life. Nothing.

That doesn't mean, by the way, that bad things aren't going to happen to you. Tough stuff's going to come your way. We'll talk about it. Hard things are going to happen. You are as vulnerable, in some ways more vulnerable than a non-believer because you're going to have all the wear and tear suffering of life plus persecution for your faith. But Jesus says, don't be afraid. Not because you're so strong, but because I'm in you.

Now, I've done this a billion times. We've done it at men's retreats. We've done it at women's. We've done it in women's groups. We've done it at marriage retreats. We've done it with junior high and high school students. We've done it with sports teams. We've done it with Cardinals. They're afraid to win. I know they'll play better now with the new stadium. My answer on the stadium, by the way, was escrow the money, tell the Cardinals goodbye, and then get the team that you want. Get a good team. Get a good team that comes in. Now you've got a stadium, you can go and barter. Or better—

Yet, give me the money back. But anyway, what are you afraid of? And when we open it up, we're not going to do it here. Open it up. What are you afraid of?

We always get somebody who's afraid of a duck. Somebody always wants to be funny. But when you get by it all, you hear exactly the same thing every time. Here you go. We're going to just ding them off in order. Number one, and it's apparently the number one fear, they're afraid of death.

Understanding Biblical Fear

Now when we talk about do not be afraid, let's make sure we're clear here. We're saying don't be afraid of circumstances. There is a healthy fear. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom. There's a reverential awe of God that we have. But now as we work through our life and as we approach the end of life, we don't need to be afraid of death.

In Acts 2, verse 24, Peter says this: "God raised Jesus up again, putting an end to the agony of death." Now what does He mean? He certainly doesn't mean physical agony.

I remember the first lady in our church to die. Died of cancer. And she had cancer and then it went away and then it came back and they did some surgery and they couldn't get it off. And they said, we can send you down. There's some brand new treatment. This was right about ten years ago now. We'll send you down to the U. There's some brand new chemotherapy treatment. They gave her this treatment and they said it was only the second time they'd seen it where the chemotherapy and the sores started working their way actually out of the skin. She turned bright red. She just literally glowed with bright red.

I walked in the room and I was afraid to even touch her. And I would say, is it okay for me to touch your arm? Because you could see, you could watch her get more and more isolated as she deteriorated because you were just afraid to touch her. I said, is it okay for me to hold your hand? Does that hurt when I touch your arm? She said, it hurts a lot. But do it. And you could feel her and she was just like she was on fire.

The True Meaning of Victory Over Death

Am I supposed to go sprinting in there and say, let me tell you something. I want you to understand God raised Jesus from the dead putting an end to the agony of death. That's got nothing to do with the physical aspect of it. Christians, again, maybe more than any others, have died some of the most agonizing of deaths. When He says put an end to the fear of death, what He's talking about is what I mentioned earlier. We don't have to worry about our eternal destination.

We did, Tuesday, we had a great funeral. We had a guy that died who had walked with the Lord for an awfully long time. The testimony of his kids and his grandkids was absolutely spectacular. It was a great opportunity to witness to the industries, part of the building industry, and many of them were there, pagans. Vendors that supplied him were there. And they all talked about what a good guy he was. And I had the privilege of coming together and saying, listen, he's not in heaven because he's a good guy. Hell is filled with good guys. He's in heaven because he knows Christ.

I think I mentioned this to you last week. We were out there Tuesday. A week ago Tuesday was my last time with him. And I'm telling you, he just beamed. And the doctors had told him, when you go to sleep, you will not wake up this time. You will go to sleep and you will just die. And I mean, he just beamed because he knew when he went to sleep that when he woke up, he would be present with the Lord.

Our Eternal Longing

Again, from this same book, let me just read this to you. A couple of paragraphs. "God has planted eternity in our hearts," Ecclesiastes 3:10, says the wise man. But it doesn't take a wise person to know that people long for more than earth. When we see pain, we yearn. When we see hunger, we question why. Senseless death, endless tears, needless loss. Where do they come from? Where will they lead? Isn't there more to life than death?

Now listen, this is so rich. Stop a couple of times. Unhappiness on earth cultivates a hunger for heaven. Isn't that good? This is a great sentence. By gracing us with deep dissatisfaction, God holds our attention. The only tragedy then is to be satisfied prematurely. In other words, to be satisfied with this. To settle for earth, to be content in this strange land.

We are not happy here because we're not at home here. We're not happy here because we're not supposed to be here. 1 Peter 2:11, we're like foreigners and strangers in this world. You will never be completely happy on earth simply because you were not made for earth. Oh, you'll have moments of joy. You'll catch glimpses of light. You'll know moments, even days of peace, but they simply do not compare with the happiness that lies ahead.

Living with Eternal Perspective

I'm convinced right there, and again, this is like a review. We've said it a billion times to you. Once you grab that, life becomes very, very easy. All of a sudden, decisions are very, very simple. You and I in this room struggle with contentment. How much is enough? Well, when all of a sudden I understand that I've got to take this, and this isn't home, this is temporary, and heaven is my home, it changes my perspective.

In all the times I've rented a car. Just made another reservation yesterday. Go in and rent a car. I've never once, never once in a rented car, washed it before I turned it back in, changed the oil. I've never done any maintenance on it. You know why? It's not mine. I don't even care.

Somehow we need to translate that same attitude toward our time on earth. It's important and we care, and it's utilitarian, but it's just a dress rehearsal for heaven. This is temporary. This is a rental home for us. This is not home.

A Word for Non-Believers

Now, if you're here, and you're not a Christian, this is something for you to grab. This is as close to home as you're ever going to get. This is as close to heaven as you're ever going to get. When this guy was laying there dying with this big smile on his face, had he conned himself into this? No! It's what we said at the

This is the Word of God. What does it say? Whoever believes in Me, Jesus says, has eternal life. This guy knows he's going to heaven. He knows it's real. Why? Because he believes the Word of God. See how all that builds? So when it comes to death, we don't have to be afraid of anything.

It's interesting how we deal with this. The last statistics I saw, they're about five years old now, said a third of the American population believes in reincarnation. That's how you deal with death. Boy, this is tragic. I really screwed this up. I got a lot of regrets. I'll just believe that I come back again.

This goes back a little ways, but when Schlitz beer used to say, "You go around once, so grab for all the gusto you can." I always called Hebrews 9:27 the Schlitz verse. It says, "It's appointed to man once to die and then judgment." This is it. You aren't coming back.

We Don't Have to Fear Death

Here's what you do. We come to death, so what do we do? We rationalize it away. We explain it away. We deny it exists. We say that it's just alienation. Life is it, and then it's over. There are a lot of options here. But we don't have to fear death. The number one fear that people in this country have is death, and we don't have to deal with that.

Economic Insufficiency

Here's the second thing: loss of money. Here's what I call it—economic insufficiency. Probably no one in this room is worried about losing it all. We lived through the hardship of the 80s where we would see these developers, and they're going to lose it all. And they really did. They were down to like a 5,000-foot house and three Mercedes when it was all over. That was really tough. I felt bad for them.

But nobody's going to lose it all. Nobody in here is going to lose it all. You're not even worried about losing it all. What you're worried about is having enough.

Jesus deals straight away with that in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 6. As Jesus begins to talk, He talks about the practical aspects of life. And He says this in Matthew 6, verse 33: "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and these things will be added to you. Therefore, don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

He said seek first His kingdom and these things will be added to you. What are the things? Well, what He's talking about there are the basics of life: food and clothing and shelter.

The Sin of Worry

He gets right into worry. Listen to Matthew 6, verse 27: "Who by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" We've got certain sins in the Christian community that we really have institutionalized and said they're okay. If you're gay, boom, you're gone. We've got no place for you. Divorced? You're out. But if you say, "Well, you know, boy, I'd like one extra donut"—in fact, we can't even have an event without having donuts and brownies and all those things. And we've said, "Look, you're obese. You lack self-control."

Here's a big one. We just say sin worry. Everybody worries. It's okay. It's not okay. When you worry about where you're going to live and what you're going to eat and what you're going to wear, you in essence are calling God a liar because He's going to make provision for that. This gets right back to what we talked about last week. A lot of people believe in God. We're not talking about that now. Do you believe God? He says He's going to take care of you.

Balance in Trusting God

Now, make sure we understand the balance here. That doesn't mean that you just skip through life in some apathetic way. We had a guy, and I said, "How's it going?" "Lost your job." I said, "Oh, man, that's a shame." A couple weeks later, I said, "How are you doing?" He said, "Well, I haven't found a job yet." I said, "What are you doing?" He said, "Well, I'm trusting God." I said, "Oh, me too. What else are you doing?" He said, "Well, I'm trusting God. I've been praying, and I'm just waiting for somebody to call. I think God's going to provide me a job."

I said, "Well, I think He is too, but He's probably going to use something a little more traditional like a resume and like an interview process and an application, see?" We get to the point, "Well, God will take care of it." God will take care of it, and we trust Him, but we understand that we work. But His whole idea here is seek first His kingdom.

Lose Yourself in Obedience to Christ

Here's the phrase we use in conjunction with Matthew 6:33: Lose yourself in obedience to Christ. So all of a sudden, your life is consumed with Him. We live in a time that is absorbed with self-study and self-evaluation and self-esteem. I had to fill out a referral yesterday for somebody trying to go through the adoption process, and I had to rate poor, below average, average, above average, excellent. And some of these, you know, character, self-esteem. And I just wrote, "This is stupid. What do you mean self-esteem? What are you talking about? Feel good about themselves? What are we trying to get at there?"

Look, whether you're walking around with low self-esteem—"I'm so pathetic"—or high self-esteem—"I'm really something special"—you've got a problem in either case because you're thinking about yourself. You lose yourself in obedience to Christ, and all this other stuff takes care of itself. You've got way too much thinking about yourself: how you look, how you feel, what do other people think, whether you feel good, the past. Hey, it's the past. I thought you were forgiven. Let's go. Now, you may need some help to work through some things, but by and large...

We spend way too much time thinking about ourselves. "Well, I can't even help others. Isn't that what Jesus said? You can't love others until you love yourself." That's not what He's saying. He's saying it's the most natural thing in the world to love yourself. Now, love people like you love yourself, like you take care of yourself. Whether you are swaggering, or whether you are cowering, thinking about yourself, in both cases you are wrong.

The Fear of Rejection

Here you go. Number three. Rejection. What do other people think? A couple of years ago, I was invited to speak to a junior high group. I said to the gal, "No, no, no, no, that's not my group, that's not my target market." "Oh, it'll be fine." I said, "No, it won't be fine." She said, "No, come in." I said, "I can't. I can't do it." She said, "We really need you." I said, "Okay, I'll do this."

The night before, I got a call from a lady, and she said, "I heard you're going to talk to the junior hires tomorrow." I said, "Yes." She said, "What are you going to talk about?" I said, "I'm working on it right now." She said, "Talk to them about peer pressure, would you?" I said, "Well, okay."

So I went in and I said, "I got a call from one of your parents last night, and they wanted me to talk to you about peer pressure. Let me talk to you about peer pressure. Let me tell you how much peer pressure your parents are under. Now, see, you're under a lot of peer pressure, but you can get out of it with a pair of shoes or the right backpack or the right logo on a shirt. But, man, the consequences are way higher for them. They've got to have the right car that has to be in the right garage that needs to be attached to the right house that's in the right area with the right zip code." There's a lot of pressure there.

You don't have to admit it to me. Just admit it to yourself that you've made purchasing decisions in the last month that were driven by what other people would think about what you bought. That's okay. We're scared to death we're going to be rejected. Let me help you a lot. You're going to be rejected.

The Reality of Difficult Relationships

Interpersonal relationships are always ugly. Nothing uglier than male-female. Doesn't get much worse than yesterday, does it? Guys, Valentine's Day. Every guy hates Valentine's Day. It's a stupid day. Dumb day. You never see a guy dressed in red. All the women had on red. It's just a pathetic day. It's a pathetic day. But it's a gal day. It's a chick day. And guys don't get it.

I don't get it. I still... I didn't, you know, but in the middle of the day, I said, "Dan, I better do something here." So I said, "Hey, Michelle, where are you going for lunch?" She said, "Well," I said, "Well, can you pick up some flowers? I'm going to get some flowers." She said, "Great." I'm thinking this is dumb. I brought them home. And I mean, it was like... She just said, "That is so sweet." I said, "Yeah, I know. I had to get just the right ones." But she loves this stuff. I get it. At least I give guys enough credit to understand at least that's right. But male-female relationships are always goofy. They're always complicated. They're really hard.

Some of you have experienced the pain of divorce. I don't know that there's any pain deeper because so often in the core of that is you're being rejected by somebody that you've literally opened yourself up bare naked to. They probably know you better than anybody in the world. And they've said, "No, thank you."

I meet people all the time that said, "You know what? I may date again. I may even get married again. But I'm never going to love as deep as I did before. I never want to be hurt by that. I never want that pain again." If that's the way you feel, I want you to know you'll never experience real love because you're always holding something back. You're always holding a piece back.

God's Complete Acceptance

Any human relationship, I don't care who it is - buddies in the office, guys at the club, a dating process, marriage, doesn't matter. Any human relationship, the other part of that party is always going to disappoint you some way. But when it comes to God, here's what's key. Not only does God know everything I said and everything that I've done, He knows everything that I've thought. And in spite of that, He accepts me.

I've done some pathetic things in my life. I look back and there's some really things that I'm just not very proud of. But when I look back at what I thought about doing, I've exhibited enormous restraint. But see, God doesn't just look at the action. I find great comfort here. Everything, as despicable as it is, God accepts me in the midst of that.

Overcoming Loneliness

Here's the fourth thing. It piggybacks on this. And that's the idea of loneliness. There was a book written about 15 years ago. The title was The Friendless American Male. We could get rid of this now and just say The Friendless American because that's where we've landed. We're so busy we don't really have time for relationships much anymore.

Deuteronomy 31:8: "And the Lord is the one ahead of me and He will not fail you. He will not forsake you. Therefore, do not be afraid."

See, as you're walking... I'm going to put the two together now. Rejection and loneliness. As you're walking through life and you are rejected, it may help some of you. Many of you in this room have become Christians as adults. We haven't done this in a long time. Let's just do this. How many of you in this room became a Christian after age 18? Let's see your hands. See, lots of hands. Always lots of hands in that. We attract a certain derelict crowd.

The ones who became Christians after 18, they didn't have the restraint of Christ in their life in those earlier days and there's some really ugly stuff in there. I find, this is just general, this is for general consumption now, they tend to be much more serious about their faith. You have somebody that's converted at age 30. There's a sense in their life that I've already...

wasted 30 years. I can't waste another day. They're very serious about their faith. They tend to be, my general observation, more on the MacArthur side. Just give it to me straight. Give me the facts. I'll figure it out.

So all of a sudden, your life begins to change and you're being rejected by your friends and you'll say, my friends are rejecting me. Let me give you a word of encouragement here. They're not rejecting you. They love you. They love to go to the movies with you. They love to go out to dinner with you. They love to go to ball games with you. They've proven that over the years.

What they're starting to see is Christ in you and as they see the Christ in you, they reject Him. They can't stand Jesus Christ. He just happens to be living in you through the Holy Spirit. And you're being pushed away because you've become a display case for the saving work of Christ. So you'll experience rejection and loneliness.

The Reality of Suffering

What have we got here? Two or three more things. And we're not going to spend much time on this because we're going to spend an entire session on this. People are afraid of, number five, suffering. You're going to experience suffering in your life. There's no way around it. Physical pain, emotional pain, hurt.

When I think of suffering, for me, and I know most people go right to Job. For me, I go right to Joseph. I like Joseph's story. Here's Joseph, kind of a cocky guy, young guy, got this cool coat. But comes from clearly... Let's agree here. Because you may come from a dysfunctional family. I don't know how dysfunctional your family was, but you never sold one another into slavery.

Remember that whole process? The one was going to kill him, and they said, oh, no, that's not the right thing to do. Let's sell him into slavery. That's better. So that's what they do. And you know he goes in, he's enslaved. He rises to CEO of Potiphar Enterprises.

Then Potiphar's wife falsely accuses him of coming after her. He's thrown into prison, not just a prison, into the dungeon. And then he rises into a position of leadership there. In fact, there's a great phrase that's attached with Joseph that's used to describe the people around him. They saw God in Joseph. And so he rises again and again and again.

And now he's basically the second most powerful person in the world. Remember, his brothers who sold him into slavery come in and they're looking for relief from the famine. And he is kind of hiding himself from them. Finally, he can't take it anymore. And he reveals himself to the brothers.

The brothers are filled with fear because they're saying, if that was me, I know what I'd do to you. And Joseph says, no, don't worry about it. Genesis 50:20 You meant it for evil. God meant it for good.

God's Purpose in Suffering

See, in our world, meaning our Christian world, God says suffering is not only not a bad thing, it's a good thing for you. Because suffering produces perseverance. Perseverance produces endurance. When you pray, God, I want to grow, He hears you say, God, I want to suffer. And there are things that come into your life.

And look, you've just got to come to grips with this. You've got to suck it up and understand this. Everything that happens in your life, God either caused it or allowed it. Period. He's either all-powerful or He isn't. He's an all-powerful God. He could stop anything that's going to come into your life. He could stop a cold, but He doesn't. He may even cause it.

God doesn't ever shrink back from taking responsibility for some of what we see in our value system as hurt and pain in the world. God says, hey, who made the deaf? Who made the blind? I did. There's suffering and pain, but you don't need to be afraid because whatever happens around you may have intended it for evil. God meant it for good.

When we come into suffering, we may never get those specific answers to the why, why is this happening, why did this take place? Don't know. We know this. God is in control, so we power on. We know somebody may mean it for evil. God means it for good. We know God causes all things to work together for good.

To the whole world? No. To those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Are you that person? You love Him and are called according to His purpose? Then you don't have to worry about suffering.

Failure is Not Fatal

A couple more things quickly. This is a biggie. Failure. Remember this. Failure is not fatal. And my personal view is failure is one of those great growth hormones that come into your life.

At the end of his life, Paul writes to Timothy and he says, boy, get here soon. Come quickly. Demas has deserted me. Only Luke is with me. Then he says this in 2 Timothy 4. Pick up Mark for he's useful for ministry.

You need a little background to understand that. On the first missionary journey, they're on their way out the door. Barnabas and Paul. And Barnabas says, I've got a kin I'd like to bring. Can I bring Mark with me? Paul says, sure. We can always use help. Early into the trip or certainly not far into this journey, Mark blows out.

Now it's time for the second missionary journey. Bags are packed, ready to go. Here they go. On their way out the door, Barnabas says, I'd like to take Mark. And Paul says, wait a minute. You've got more kin named Mark than the one that we had? What's that one? I don't think so. He's a guy who's a loser. He can't cut it. He wasn't cut out for this. Give me a few good men.

And these two giants of the faith separate over this very issue. Paul says, no, I don't want any part of him. At the end of his life, he says, bring him to me because he's useful for ministry. Failure is an important tool. And I think it's part of life.

It was Thomas Aquinas who said, if the captain's main concern was the safety of the ship, he'd never take it out of the harbor. We just play it too close. Too safe. I have two daughters, Sarah and Haley. Sarah kind

She got through junior high school, those awkward years, really easily. She was a cheerleader and she was valedictorian of her class, went out for volleyball and made it. Student council, all that stuff. Haley came along two years behind her. And Haley always had to work a little bit harder. Haley went out for student council, didn't get elected, went out for volleyball, didn't get picked, never got bad grades, always A's and B's, but not quite to where Sarah was.

But all that really mattered was cheerleading. That was the deal. And Sarah understood how hard that was and understood Haley. So she worked with Haley and Haley just worked for two weeks leading up to this. They go out for cheerleading mercifully. They used to try out on Friday and not announce it until Monday. That's terrible. That's inhumane punishment there. Now they try out at 3:30 and announce it at 5:30.

I was on my way to speak to World Vision. So I'm swinging by to pick Haley up and had Susan and Sarah in the car and we're on the way to the airport. Haley comes out, gets in the back seat. No one had to ask Haley how to go. You've seen kids who don't get what they want and they pout. She didn't have any of that. I had a perfect view of her through the mirror and she was just hurting so much. She was just aching.

I had to go. I got on the plane. I said goodbye. I'm over there. I try to call. I can't get them. I woke up about 2 in the morning. I laid there all night thinking about Haley, praying for Haley. I finally got there the next day. I got Susan. I said, "How's Haley doing?" She said, "Tom, she just hurt. She just so hurt."

A week later, two weeks later, things are going a little bit better. Six months later, she comes into my office and she said, "I need you to sign this." I said, "What is it?" She said, "It's a release form." I said, "Release for what?" She said, "I'm going to go out for cheerleading." I said, "Haley, I'm not over the last one yet. I'm sucking gas here. I can't make it, Haley." I spent a little time trying to talk her out of it. She heard enough of my own philosophy of life. She said, "Dad, I can't make the team if I don't go out." It was incredible.

I always forget to tell the end of the story. That means that ladies in particular want to line up and understand this. She ended up making that team. It was great. Then made the varsity team as a freshman and all this stuff. It was a great time. Great lesson.

Don't Be Afraid to Fail

Failure is just part of life. And I think you really grow from those. Don't be afraid of failing. What happens when you're afraid to fail is you begin to do nothing, which to me is the ultimate failure.

What Are You Really Afraid Of?

Here's the last thing. And I've played this, "What are you afraid of?" And nobody's ever gotten it. Except one kid. I was speaking at ASU and this kid walked in and he caught my attention because he had really weird, funky hair. And he had stuff hanging. He looked like he fell in a tackle box. That's what he looked like. There was stuff hanging from this kid everywhere. And he walked in and he nodded at me. But he was all by himself. He sat way up. And I don't know, there had to be 300 kids there.

So I said, "What are we afraid of?" And we worked through it. And finally, the kid just nonchalantly raised his hand. I said, "Yeah, what are you afraid of?" And he said, "I'm sorry. Insignificance." I said, "I think I know what you said, but say it real loud so everybody can hear it." He said, "Insignificance." And boy, that caught my attention. Because I've always had that written down. And he's the only kid, the only person, the only human, I think human, that ever got it. And he was a terrific kid.

Living for Significance

See, I speak autobiographically. I don't want to go through life and at the very end have somebody go, "Oh man, I'm probably going to miss him. We need a fourth for golf. Who's the fourth?" See, I want, at the end of this life, to have made a difference. Don't you? I want at the end of this life people to come around and say, "What are we going to do? There's a hole there. We've got to get two or three people to fill it. What's going to happen?"

That funeral the other day was a terrific funeral. Because part of what I do is just the open share time. And you learn so much about this guy. And I always say, if I came to this funeral and didn't know him, what would I think? And I'll tell you what I'd think. I would have thought the other day, I want to live like that.

See, we all want to be significant. You'll never be significant at the end of your life if you don't make a conscious decision now to follow Christ. You want to be part of something significant?

True Significance Comes From God

Let me tell you what's significant. There's a lot of important things around. Intel, Motorola, IBM. Those are all fine. Those are important. Those aren't truly significant. Those aren't truly lasting. The only thing that's truly lasting is God's Word.