The Silent Strength of Joseph
Tom Shrader walks through the Christmas narrative from Matthew 1–2 and Luke 2, focusing on Joseph as a model of quiet, faithful obedience—showing how Joseph responded immediately each time an angel appeared to him. Shrader draws out five lessons from Joseph's life: mastering the mundane, trusting God's control in painful moments, obeying even in uncertainty, loving sacrificially as described in 1 Corinthians 13, and taking responsibility for the spiritual leadership of one's family. The teaching closes by connecting the nativity to the cross, reminding listeners that Jesus was born to die and that Christmas finds its full meaning only in Easter.
“Love bears what otherwise is unbearable. It believes what is otherwise unbelievable. It hopes what is otherwise hopeless. It endures when anything less than love would give up.”
— Tom Shrader
Series: Scottsdale Bible Church
Recorded: 2015 at Scottsdale Bible Church
Duration: 47 min
Themes: obedience, faithfulness, humility, sacrifice, christmas, spiritual leadership, trust, fatherhood, husband, father, navigating uncertainty, feeling overlooked, young adult, struggling with fear, spiritual leader of family, new parent
Scripture: Matthew 1:18-25, Matthew 1:22, Matthew 2:13-15, Matthew 2:17, Matthew 2:19-21, Matthew 2:23, Luke 2:1, Luke 2:4, Luke 2:21, Luke 2:39, 1 Corinthians 13:5-7, Isaiah 55:8-9
Theological Themes: incarnation, typology, sanctification, advent, sacrificial love, biblical manhood, atonement, redemptive history
Full Transcript
Introduction
Two years ago, almost to the day, I was here and did not get through the services. It was not the high point of my preaching career. I ended up having open heart surgery after that, and I have been dealing with ongoing physical problems since then. But I am feeling great. I have lupus, which is a disease that strikes primarily women — 90% of those who get it are women between the ages of 18 and 35. When they told me that, I said, "I cannot wait for my first support group meeting. This is going to be awesome."
This series came about through a phone call I received from Jamie last July. Sandy and I were in Flagstaff when Jamie called and said he would be out of the country on December 13th and asked if I could preach that day. I told him I had a message I had done fifteen years ago with a great premise that I had not done very well, and I would love to bring it out and dust it off. He said, "Well, I hope you find a place to do that — but it's not going to be at Scottsdale Bible Church. Here's what we're going to do: Mary, Jesus, and Joseph over three weeks. I'll do one week, you do a week, and then the final week. Which one do you want?"
The obvious choice was Jesus, but you have to close with that. So it came down to Mary and Joseph, and I chose Joseph. My thinking was that everybody knows so much about Mary, and there is so much material, that expectations would be very high. But if I took Joseph and managed to fill forty minutes, people would say, "How does he get so much out of the scripture?" So I said I would take Joseph.
Then I went to my Bible and started researching — which means Google — and discovered there is not much there. Sandy and I were at dinner with another couple, and when I told them about the December 13th message on Joseph, they immediately started listing everything there is to say about him. They went on for about five minutes, and I had nothing to write with. I said, "Where are you going to be December 13th at nine o'clock and eleven o'clock? Because we could really use you."
What People Think About Joseph
I teach a weekly Bible study — three of them, in fact — and I passed out a questionnaire asking participants what comes to mind when they think about Joseph, what questions they have about him, and what phrases come to mind. I received some wonderful answers. A dominant question was: what happened to Joseph? Where did he go? The Bible is largely silent on this, and people wanted to know why. Another response stood out: "I'm not sure too many of us would have remained loyal to Mary." There was quite a bit written about obedience.
Other responses included questions about humility, about what time frame he lived in, about when he died. One person asked how he could have avoided being vindicated to his brothers in Potiphar's house — which tells me that person may have been thinking of a different Joseph entirely, but it was a great question. Others asked how he raised the other children and how he handled Jesus. These questions were all genuinely helpful as I prepared.
I also did some internet research, which reminded me of one of my new favorite quotes: "The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine." — Abraham Lincoln. I did live-stream Jamie's message last week just to see what he would do with his section of the series, and I decided to follow his lead. He asked two questions, and I have adjusted them slightly for my purposes. First: what can we learn about Joseph? And second, the question we should always be asking: what can we learn about God?
Setting the Scene
The approach today is to tell the story — the Christmas story — and along the way stop and add application. The basic rule in teaching is to ask: What does it say? Is it true? So what? Now what? With that framework in mind, the message concludes with five lessons from Joseph — possibly six, because something came across yesterday. If you have Bibles, grab them and follow the outline in the bulletin. Between the two, you can't go wrong.
The primary sources for this story are Matthew's Gospel and Luke's Gospel, as you would expect. In all of Paul's letters, he does not mention Joseph, or anything about Joseph that will get mentioned today. Mark does not cover the birth of Christ. Matthew and Luke are the primary informers we have. One commentator writes: "Luke's simple, straightforward, unblemished language describes the most profound birth with the most far-reaching implications in the history of the world. While his birth was like that of every other child, the child wasn't like any child ever born." And of Matthew, another commentator tells us: "Matthew's account of Jesus' divine conception is straightforward and simple."
The Human Side of the Story
There is an irresistible impulse to bring the humanity of this story forward. In some cases that involves speculation, but here is Jesus — the Son of Mary and Joseph — and they have to be like parents. Standing up front today for a baby dedication, you have Isaac and Savannah and Cassidy and Roman, whose birthday was June 13th, the same as my dad, and Knox and Benjamin, and you have the proud parents and all the family. You have human nature woven into this story. We can bring that in, but we also need to be careful not to read too much into it.
Open your Bibles to Luke chapter 2, verse 1: "Now in those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that a census be taken of all the inhabitants of the world." Verse 4 gives more detail: "Joseph went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he is of the house and family of David." A census was ordered — extensive, probably literally worldwide — for two purposes primarily: taxation, and to identify people for military service.
Joseph and Mary are in Nazareth, and they need to go to Bethlehem. That is a trip of about 80 miles, which, according to Google Maps, is roughly the same distance as from here to Helendale. When reading this account and hearing the words "in those days a decree went forth," it immediately calls to mind being raised in Catholic grade school and high school — Holy Family Grade School, Assumption High School. Those phrases are how Christmas Eve began. Cold, about like today, packed into that church with coats on, and those words would be read, and they would start all the memories of Christmas carols. Silent Night always called to mind a grandmother, and a Christmas spent at her house, singing around the tree the night before going to bed. It is the story — the story of the birth of Jesus.
Mary and Joseph in Nazareth
The census goes forth, Mary and Joseph are in Nazareth, and we know that Mary is pregnant. There is all sorts of speculation about why Mary made that trip. All that has been studied suggests it was mandatory for Joseph to go and register, and the rest is speculation. In Syria — part of which would include Palestine — it is believed that most women over age 12 had to register as well. It may simply be that Mary did not want to be alone in Nazareth at a time like this. You can read into it whatever you want, but the setting is clear.
Matthew Fills in the Blanks
Turning to Matthew's Gospel, chapter 1, verse 18, the story begins to fill in: "Now the birth of Jesus was as follows: when His mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit. And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly."
For many, these words are deeply familiar, but imagine walking in today without that background. There are some striking details here. Mary and Joseph are betrothed — engaged — and before they have come together physically, Mary is pregnant. The language becomes a little complex, because it says they are betrothed, but then refers to Joseph as her husband, and says he desires to divorce her. That requires some backdrop.
In that era, an engagement was very different from what it is today.
Joseph Discovers Mary's Pregnancy
The betrothal and the marriage were very similar in that culture. It was a formal contract drawn up between two people, typically arranged by their parents, with payment going from the groom or the groom's family to the bride to cover either the expense of the wedding or to be set aside in case the groom ultimately divorced the bride. As a father of two daughters, that seems like a really good idea — one of those traditions we should have kept.
Joseph, all of a sudden, discovers that Mary is pregnant, and he is torn. He is a righteous man, and on the righteous side, he would know — because he has not been with her — that something was wrong. On that righteous side, there is this impulse that says, "I am going to put her away. I am going to divorce her. This will be the end of this." But he also seems to be a kind, gentle man, torn in two directions.
We do not know exactly how Joseph found out that Mary was pregnant. We assume she told him, but we do not know. If we think about it, we can piece together the scene. There would have been one of those rare moments when they were alone, and Joseph comes in excited — "Mary, aren't you excited? Don't you think this could be spectacular? We are going to be married! Do you think God will bless us with a baby? What are we going to call him?" And Mary says, "I think all that will work itself out, Joseph. Here is the problem. I am pregnant."
You do not need a great imagination to put yourself into that setting and scene. Jesus is the promised child — you and I know all that — but this is unfolding around them in real time.
Joseph's Obedience to the Angel
Joseph begins to process what Mary has told him and goes away. Matthew 1:20 tells us: "When he considered this, behold, an angel appeared to him in a dream, saying, 'Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child that is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit, and she will bear a son, and you will call him Jesus.' Why? 'He will save His people from their sins. And all this took place to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet: Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and she will bear a son, and you will call him Emmanuel' — God is with us."
Joseph's immediate reaction upon learning Mary was pregnant was to end the relationship. He had decided to put her away. But he goes home, and in a dream the angel appears to him. The angel says, "Don't do this." It is worth noticing something significant here: the angel appeared to Mary and said, "This is what is going to happen to you." The angel appeared to Joseph and said, "This is what happened to Mary." In either case, we see a defining trait emerge in Joseph.
The first thing to know about Joseph is that he is obedient. The angel says, "Don't be afraid. Mary is pregnant. This will be a stretch of comprehension for you — it is by the Holy Spirit. You are going to have a son. You are going to name Him Jesus. You are going to call Him Emmanuel, God is with us." And Joseph woke up — and this is the part worth highlighting — and he did as the angel of the Lord commanded. This becomes a characteristic we see all through Joseph's life. Joseph is an extraordinary man of obedience.
Tucked into the angel's message is the name Jesus and the declaration that He will save His people from their sins. Everything in us wants to stop and address that fully, but Jamie will speak to it next week. For now, we stay with Joseph.
The Perpetual Virginity of Mary
Joseph did as the angel commanded. He took Mary, and it says in verse 25 that he kept her as a virgin until she gave birth. Jamie addressed this last week, but there is a teaching within the Catholic Church that Mary was forever a virgin. Scripture, however, tells us that Jesus had at least three or four brothers and sisters. So the perpetual virginity of Mary can really be addressed in this very verse. It also seems like a poor model for marriage to suggest there was no physical contact between a husband and wife.
Growing up, we gathered in an area — in my memory it was huge, though it was probably the size of this platform — and we had three statues: Mary, Jesus, and Joseph. Mary was a beautiful figure in a powder-blue veil, and Jesus looked like a wonderful child. But Joseph always had this frustrated look on his face. I did not put that together until I received the full teaching of the Church on the perpetual virginity of Mary.
The Flight to Egypt
Joseph is an obedient man, and we see that again in Matthew chapter 2. By this point, the shepherds have come and visited Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. In Matthew 2:12, the Magi have been warned by God in a dream not to return to Herod. Then in Matthew 2:13: "Now when they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, 'Get up, take the child and His mother, and flee to Egypt'" — the word literally means to escape from someone or something. Herod is about to go on a rampage.
Egypt would be a logical place to go. Within a journey of about 70 or 80 miles, there were — as best as historians can tell — approximately one million Jews living in Egypt at the time. One commentator noted there is no question that Joseph would have found family, friends, and relatives there. The angel appears, and Joseph does not hesitate.
Obedience as a Way of Life
At verse 14, Joseph got up and took the child. There it is again — obedience. John MacArthur speculates that Joseph would have used the frankincense, gold, and myrrh to finance the trip to Egypt. He goes to Egypt, and Herod then realizes he has been betrayed by the Magi and orders the slaughter of males two years and under. They are in Egypt, we think, no more than a few months.
Then an angel appears to them at verse 19: "When Herod died, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, 'Get up and take the child and His mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who sought the child's life are dead.'" Verse 21 — there it is again. So Joseph got up. Joseph moved.
What can we learn from Joseph? We can learn obedience. There has been a yearning lately to return to an old-time service where we sang the old songs. At Grace Community Church on Sunday nights, Jim Rentz was the pastor, and they would have a hymnal and shout out numbers — 273 — and then everyone would sing whatever hymn that was. One they sang all the time was "Trust and Obey": there is no other way to be happy in Jesus than to trust and obey. Joseph becomes a role model for exactly that.
God's Fulfillment of His Word
Here is the second thing we can learn. In Matthew chapter 1, verse 22, Joseph is being given all of this information — he is told Mary is going to have a son and he is to name Him Jesus — and then comes this word: "All this took place to fulfill what was spoken by the Lord through the prophets." Chapter 2, verse 15 continues the story: he remained in Egypt until the death of Herod, "and this was to fulfill what the prophet had spoken." Matthew 2:17 records that what was spoken through Jeremiah was fulfilled. Matthew 2:23 states that they came and lived in a city called Nazareth, "this was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophets."
The simple truth is this: the basic happenings of the New Testament are the culmination, completion, and fulfillment of the revelation God made in the Old Testament. God is in control. It would be easy to look at the life of Christ, the crucifixion, the death, and then fast-forward into our own lives and feel as though things are out of control. That is what the news feels like every day.
My wife gets up every morning at 4:45 to swim — two or three miles every day — then goes to a boot camp, and on certain days runs in the afternoon. Because she rises at 4:45, I rise at 4:45, put on my coffee, turn on the news, and by 5:15 I am ready to build a bunker, stock five years' worth of food, and crawl into it. That is how it feels every day. We are in this world and it feels as though things are careening out of control. They are not careening out of God's control — they are out of your control and mine.
You can look at Herod's slaughter of the babies. You can watch an interview debating whether the Fed will raise interest rates this week. You can look at the world around you. But over thousands of years, God has been telling us this story. In my Bible, page one and two, God creates. Page three is the fall. The rest of the book is Him fixing it — Him in control. He knew at the very beginning, and He knows in your life.
Joseph as Spiritual Leader
Joseph was a spiritual leader. Luke chapter 2, verse 21 records that when the eight days had passed, Jesus was circumcised. Luke chapter 2, verse 39 shows that when they had performed everything according to the Law of the Lord, they returned to Galilee, to Nazareth. We see this pattern constantly. The story that truly marks the end of our understanding of Joseph is when they go to Jerusalem for the Passover.
The point is this: Jesus at eight days old did not announce that it was time to be circumcised. Joseph was the spiritual leader of the house. This connects naturally to the idea of baby dedication — because what a dedication really does is call a blessing and a responsibility down upon the parents. The lesson from Joseph is that he was a spiritual man and a spiritual leader.
The Closing of Joseph's Story
For all practical purposes, that is where Joseph's story ends. The last time we see him is when Jesus is twelve. They have gone to Jerusalem, and on the return home they have lost the Christ child. Mary thought Joseph had Him, Joseph thought Mary had Him. They go back, search, find Him — and that is it. We do not hear about Joseph again. We do not hear about Jesus again. From age 12 to 30 there is silence. What He is doing in those years we are not told, though it is safe to say He is not in His parents' basement playing video games waiting for His mother to do the laundry. He is growing, maturing, developing.
The Lesson Joseph Leaves Behind
Now for the lessons from Joseph. Before the first one, here is an observation worth sitting with: as far as we can tell, Joseph's life is extraordinarily ordinary.
Mastering the Mundane
Here is what we need to do: master the mundane. I love sports. I am an Iowa guy, and this has been a terrific year to be one. I dream that they would call me. I would love to run out of that tunnel. But I do not want the two-a-days. I do not want the training. I am a game-day kind of guy — and I suspect you are too. You are a mountaintop kind of person.
Getting up here and doing this today, twice, is a rush. It is thrilling. But all the rehearsal, all the practice — that is a different matter. I loved closing the deal, but I did not like the cold calling. Number one life lesson from Joseph: master the mundane.
God Does Not Spare Us from Painful Moments
Number two: God does not spare us from awkward, painful, even embarrassing moments. Mary and Joseph are God's people, doing life God's way, and yet there has to be — you would think, by human nature — the embarrassment of this child that is coming. Think of Mary going to her father and saying, "Dad, I'm pregnant."
God allows, or even causes, hugely painful moments in our lives. You might be in the midst of one right now. There was a book that was very popular twenty-seven years ago called *Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?* In our world, we might change the title to *Why Do Bad Things Happen to Christians?* The undercurrent of that question is the assumption that somehow they should not.
God saved me in 1980, when I was thirty-one years old. I had thirty-one years of a lot of junk — broken relationships, everything you can imagine. All of a sudden I came to Christ in repentance and faith, began walking with Him, and then things began to happen. A daughter gets in a serious car wreck. My wife has cancer and passes away. There is something inside that says, "God, why are You allowing that? Why didn't You take me then? Why are You doing this now?" And I will tell you why: for my good and His glory. He is in control.
Obedience Is the Clear Path in a Foggy Situation
Here is the second thing: obedience is the clear path in a foggy situation. You might be here today not totally convinced or certain what God is doing in your life, or what He would have you do. The question is simply: what does God say about it?
I love reading this passage because there seems to be an immediacy to it. The angel appeared to Joseph — and he goes. The angel appears again — and he goes. I received a call not too long ago from a man who wanted to meet for advice. When we sat down, he said, "I believe God has called me to move to Chicago. What do you think?" I said to him, "What difference does it make what I think, if God has called you? Go." If God says in His Word to do it, do it. If He says not to do it, do not do it. Obedience is always the clear path.
Joseph Loved Mary
Here is the third thing, and it came up in all those questionnaires: Joseph loved Mary. Interesting — that thing called love.
Sandy and I were having dinner not too long ago, and I said to her, "I love you." She said, "Why?" That is not a discussion question. I did not know why. I could not go to Walgreens and find a card that explained it. So I hung in there and said, "You are really smart. You love Jesus. You are incredible in a relationship." She said, "If I wasn't smart, would you still love you?" I do not want to know the answer to that.
First Corinthians 13:5 — Paul says this, and you know it: "Love is patient, love is kind, love is not jealous, it doesn't brag, it's not arrogant, not act unbecomingly, doesn't seek its own, not provoked, doesn't take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
In your Bible, you could write the name Joseph right next to that passage.
What Love Bears, Believes, Hopes, and Endures
"It bears all things" — let me expand on that a little. It means to cover, to support, to protect. It is genuine love that does not gossip or listen to gossip. When sin is certain, love tries to correct it, and whenever possible, to do so with the least possible hurt and harm to the guilty party. Love is anxious to protect the sinner. You see it in Joseph: he wanted to put Mary away secretly.
"It believes all things" — love is not suspicious or cynical. When it throws a mantle over a wrong, it also believes in the best outcome for the one who has done wrong. You see it in Mary and Joseph.
"It hopes all things" — even when belief in a loved one's goodness or repentance is shattered, love still hopes. When it runs out of faith, it holds on to hope. As long as God's grace is operative, human failure is never fatal.
"It endures all things" — the word translated *endures* is a term used for an army holding a vital position at all costs.
Now listen to the summary of these four. Love bears what is otherwise unbearable. It believes what is otherwise unbelievable. It hopes what is otherwise hopeless. It endures when anything less than love would give up. After love bears, it believes. After it believes, it hopes. After it hopes, it endures. And there is no *after* for endurance, for endurance is the never-ending climax of love.
Joseph loved Mary. You see it in the way he protected her.
Love as the Foundation
"Love never gives up. It cares more for others than itself. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, doesn't have a swell head, doesn't force itself on others, doesn't revel when others grovel. It takes pleasure in following the truth. It puts up with anything. Trust God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, keeps going to the end." Joseph loved Mary.
The Spiritual Responsibility of Parents
Parents, especially men, need to take responsibility for the spiritual leadership of their families. God saved me in 1980, and during that time there was so much focus on the family — not just the radio show and Dr. Dobson's ministry, but family was a constant topic of conversation. When I was recovering from heart surgery, I was in bed a lot, and I went back and found a collection of old Howard Hendricks sermons, which launched me into a website with literally thousands of sermons. Looking back at the 1970s and 1980s, I would say the majority of those sermons were about family.
In general, I notice the church is becoming quieter and quieter when it comes to the topic of family. I don't know whether that's because the family itself is confused, but here is what I do know. You are responsible for the spiritual well-being of your children, and you carry that out by speaking the truth and living the truth in front of them.
I pastored for almost 25 years, and I would have parents come to me and say, "My teenagers don't want to come to church anymore. What should I do?" Really? They don't want to go to math class either — what do you do? They want to eat donuts all day — what do you do? You are the leader. Joseph was the leader. I would guess Jesus was a fairly compliant child, but the responsibility for leading the family rests on you.
God's Ways Are Higher Than Ours
The last point is this: God's ways are higher and better than our ways. Isaiah 55, verses eight and nine tells us that God's ways are higher than our ways and His ways are true. There is Joseph — totally practical, a great role model, and one we can return to again and again.
Christmas Points Toward Easter
I want to tee up next week a little, because even at Christmas I get a little nervous when there is too much Christmas without Easter. When my daughter was twelve, she gave me a copy of something she had read, and it has been part of my Christmas every year since. Let me share it here.
Here is a side of the Christmas story that isn't often told. Those soft little hands, fashioned by the Holy Spirit in Mary's womb, were made so that nails could be driven through them. Those baby's feet, pink and unable to walk, would one day walk up a dusty hill to be nailed to a cross. That sweet infant's head, with sparkling eyes and an eager mouth, was formed so that someday men might force a crown of thorns onto it. That tender body, warm and soft, wrapped in swaddling clothes, would one day be ripped open by a spear. Jesus was born to die.
An Invitation
Maybe you are one of those people who was addressed at the beginning of the service today — you are here as a visitor and this whole thing is new to you. Or perhaps you have been around church before and are coming back to it now with a fresh set of eyes and an inquiring mind. There are people here who would love to talk with you about what truly happened at Christmas and what happened at Easter. Will you reach out to them? Ask in the visiting area, and look for the people wearing prayer lanyards — they would love to meet with you.
From Sandy and me, we wish you a Merry Christmas. We hope you have a wonderful time with family and that you approach it with realistic expectations.
Closing Prayer
Father, thank You for Joseph. There is so much there, and my fear even in going through the story is that we miss the humanity of it or miss the lessons. Joseph is an ordinary man like us. God, we are called to be obedient. We are reminded that You are in control. We know we are to be the spiritual leaders of our families. Father, thank You for Jamie and the staff, the elders, the leaders, the team, and the people here at Scottsdale Bible Church, that they are committed to the Christmas story and the Easter story — telling it all year long. God, may we be Your people, so that when these doors open, we go out into the world to be salt and light, not on our own, but with Your power. Father, do that work in our lives. We ask it in Jesus' name, amen.