Make Godly Decisions
Tom Shrader explores how Christians can make godly decisions in a confusing world by understanding how God communicates with His people. Drawing extensively from Psalm 119, he explains that God speaks through His Word, the Holy Spirit, and other people, particularly through mentoring relationships. He challenges the common evangelical idea that God has one specific plan for every decision, instead arguing that once believers are living within God's moral will as revealed in Scripture, they have freedom to make choices based on wisdom and preference.
“God gives us these wonderful opportunities, these three schools, these three jobs, these three different houses, and we're so bent to try to figure out which house does God want me to have that I miss the whole joy of Him giving me options.”
— Tom Shrader
Series: How Do I Stay Straight in a Crooked World (2006)
Recorded: 2006 at Cannon Beach Conference Center
Duration: 1 hr 2 min
Themes: decisions, wisdom, guidance, mentoring, freedom, discernment, choices, direction, facing major decisions, seeking gods direction, young adult, new believer, feeling confused, mentor, needing guidance, struggling with choices
Scripture: Psalm 119, 2 Corinthians 1, John 16:7, 1 Corinthians 2:14, Colossians 1:9, 1 Thessalonians 4:3, Acts 2, Acts 5, John 14, John 15, John 16, John 17, John 14:6, John 10, 2 Timothy 3, Job 42
Theological Themes: biblical authority, holy spirit, gods will, divine guidance, spiritual discernment, sanctification, scripture, moral will
Full Transcript
Johnny, thank you. I love to listen to John. Just to give you a little heads up - Tuesday night, John's doing a concert. When we're done, John will be doing a concert in there. So you want to be here for that.
I love the way Janet describes today and the food and all that goes with it. That's a wonderful deal for you. That's a nightmare for a speaker. To know that you've eaten about eight meals already today and you're full and all that goes with it. But that's okay. I'm glad you're happy.
Review of Our Journey
Grab that sheet, and we'll kind of just remind you where we've been and where we're headed. We've talked about establishing the Bible as the final authority in our life so that we have, if you will, a playbook. Life is, in a sense, an open book test. We'll talk about that. Develop a lifelong passion for learning. I had a couple of you, kind of almost like you were teasing me, which I understand saying, do books on tape count as reading? Here's what I'm saying to you: learning, whether it's videos, books, whatever, you need to be in that process of learning.
Obviously, at that point, we need to make some decisions. We'll talk about that tonight. Then living confidently, integrating your faith. When you look at session 10, expect suffering and grow from it.
The Reality of Suffering
It is interesting to me that although we're at a Christian conference center, we still need to make announcements about tsunamis. I still have in my packet, I assume you got one, of the Norwalk virus. If you were with us today at 4:30 as we watched this, to me, wonderful story of how this conference center came to be. In the middle of it, Mr. McNeil, that smiling face that you see in that picture, and you heard the story, is killed in a car wreck in the middle of that.
Well, we as followers of Christ aren't exempt from the sufferings and the wear and the tear and the pain of life. In fact, it's not only that we're not exempt from them, we have all those, plus we have promised to us persecution. Jesus said, if they persecuted me, they'll persecute you. And so suffering plays a key part in our life and giving it some sort of context and understanding. So we'll be talking about all of those things as we work our way through this, hopefully in a logical progression.
Finding True North
We started at the very beginning and said, we now have true north, and we have that word in our hand. We have true north in a world that's confused, in a world that kind of wants to redefine terms and recalculate estimates.
We find stability, is the second thing we talked about this morning, and that is developing that lifelong passion for learning. Howie Hendricks tells a wonderful story of being invited to a lady who had become a friend of his, invited to her 80th birthday party. And a couple of weeks later, she had passed away. And her daughter called Howie and said, I want you to come over, and I want you just to come over and just see what was going on. So he went into the house. He said, I want you to go up to mom's room, and I want you to look on her desk. And on this 80-year-old lady's desk, she had just finished her 10-year plan.
God's Purpose for Your Life
It's so important for you to understand that God is not done with you. I can say this with absolute certainty. God is not done with you. Here's how I know that. If He was, you'd slump over and be gone. When He's done with you, you're done. God is not done with you. He has a purpose for you, a plan for you. He's going to use you.
How? I don't know. He's going to use all of us differently. We're unique. You have different gifts. I love this music stuff. I think I may have finally found an instrument I could play. I've discovered a box. I mean, it seems like I ought to be able to play a box. I don't know. But I don't even know what it is. I can do this. I can play. I've got instruments. A box, a drum. I wish I could do this. I can't. But here, God made me this way, and this is what I do.
Your Unique Background Has Purpose
God's made you. And let me add to that, and He's given you a past, a history. Some of it's kind of yucky, huh? Some of it's pretty good. It doesn't matter. All for a purpose. All for a reason. 2 Corinthians chapter 1, that's what that's all about. Listen, you've been through pain. You've been through suffering. You have a reason. Now you can talk to one another. You can say, been there, done that.
We had in our church, really in our early, early, early days, we had something really strange. In a course of six months, we had three ladies who lost babies. None of it expected. All surprised. Regular pregnancies. Everything's fine. Looks good. Had the test. Boom. And all three children die at birth. And you try to get that in a box, and you try to figure that out, and that's just really hard.
I know this. God either caused it or allowed it, because He's God. If He didn't, He's not sovereign. But I don't have to understand that. I don't need to understand it. Here's what I discovered. When something like that happens again, if I'm at the house visiting, one of these gals comes in and kind of goes, okay, Tom, we're done with you. Here they are. And now they can say, listen, I've experienced that. God's given you a unique background for a reason, and you're still learning.
Never Stop Learning
Probably the greatest guitarist alive, or to live until recent years, is Chet Atkins. And I'm watching a documentary on Chet Atkins one night, and he said this, and I quote, I'm still learning to play the guitar. Still learning. Every time I pick it up, I get a new chord, a new combination. You live in that time.
Let me give you some more stats. I love these stats, like we talked about this morning. Of all the people in the history of mankind, from the very beginning to now, of all the
People who have ever reached age 65, two-thirds of them are alive today. They say statistically, if you were a girl born in the year 2000, 50% of them will live to see the year 2100, just because of the technology and the information. Well, what God's done is something really interesting. He's given us really a second adulthood.
I mean, that was the whole reason Social Security was 65. They put it at that age because nobody was ever going to get to it. That was the whole idea of it. We would live to be about 55, and then we would just die. But now, God's done something really special. God's given us really a second adulthood. Now we don't live from 25 to 35, we live from 25 to 75 or 80. He has a purpose, and He has a reason. He's done these wonderful things in our life.
Making Godly Decisions With What We Know
Here's the third thing. Now we got all this information, now we need to make some godly decisions. I was on an airplane a few years ago, and I was sitting next to a guy, and the airline stewardess said, "Take the flight information out of the pocket in front of you." I'd never seen anybody do it. This guy takes this out, and he's reading this, and he's following it, and he's going through this.
She talks about an oxygen mask, and you can see him trying to understand it. He's going through this, and she says, "Gently pull it down, put this over your face," and he's just studying this thing like there's going to be a test. He's looking for exits. So he puts it down, and I said, "You doing all right, man?" He said, "I've never been on a plane before."
I thought, how different her instructions would be if we were at 35,000 feet, and there was an engine on fire. If we were at 35,000 feet, and there was an engine on fire, and she said, "Take out this," I guarantee you we'd be hitting each other in the head trying to get our copies of this thing. Because I want to know all the rules. I want to know what to do. I want to know how to bend over. I'm looking for smoke. Wait a minute, if we land on water, my seat cushion is my security device? I'm going through this whole process.
Living Faith vs. Saving Faith
That's the same deal right here. God's given you this word. Here's what I have discovered. We talk a lot about faith, but generally in terms of saving faith. Do you have faith? I want to talk about not just saving faith, but living faith.
I do believe a lot of people believe in God, but as they live, they don't live like they believe God, making a differentiation there. Professing Christians, practicing atheists, saying we believe, subscribing at least mentally to this, but it's all theory. If we understand that this is the word of God, it begins to flesh itself out for us.
George Washington Carver: A Man Who Lived by God's Word
There's a gentleman that lived around the turn of the previous century. His name is George Washington Carver, African-American man. His parents were slaves, so he therefore was a slave, but he was a sickly boy, so they never sent him to the field. He worked in the house. In 1894, he graduated from Iowa Agricultural College. That ultimately became Iowa State University. He got an MS in 1896 from Iowa State. He was on the faculty there. Ultimately, he ended up in Tuskegee working at the university.
Let me read you just a little bit about him. His research developed 325 products from peanuts, 108 applications for sweet potatoes, 75 products derived from pecans. He worked at Tuskegee until 1943 when he died. His work in developing industrial applications for agricultural products derived 118 products, including a rubber substitute and over 500 dyes and pigments from 28 different plants. He was responsible for the invention of 1927 of a process of producing paints and stains from soybeans and has three separate patents associated with that process.
He was a man that Henry Ford tried to hire. Thomas Edison offered him, this is in the 1920s, a six-figure salary and he turned it all down. In 1921, he testified before a Senate subcommittee. Let me read you a little bit of that testimony.
Senator: "How did you learn all these things?"
Carver: "From an old book."
Senator: "What book?"
Carver: "The Bible."
Senator: "Does the Bible tell me about peanuts?"
Carver: "No sir, but it tells me about the God who made the peanut and I asked Him to show me what to do with the peanut and He did."
And that's the scripture. That's the power of the word. That's the power of God's word in such a practical, easy, simple way.
An Open Book Test
So now we establish the Bible as the final authority in our life and we commit ourselves to learning, not just the scripture, but the world all around us. Now it's time to make decisions. Now that world can be confusing. But we understand at the same time that it's an open book test, that there are questions to be sure, but He gives you the answer book. You don't have to wonder, all you have to do is study, all you have to do is look.
Consequences of Bad Decisions
I had a guy, I hadn't seen him in a while, and he said, "I assume you've heard about what's going on in my life." And I said, "No, I haven't." And he said, "It's really awful." Then he listed all these things that were going on and then he said this. He said, "It's all my fault."
We need to understand that even as we make bad decisions, let me give it another name in a lot of cases, what would that be? Sin. Even as we sin, though we are forgiven, there's still consequences. We spend a lot of time trying to teach our girls that. That you don't live in a vacuum. That what you do today affects tomorrow. That life is not like a snapshot film, but like a video.
film. Here's the difference. I can get my pictures back from vacation and there can be a picture of me at the beach and then in the mountains and then Susan here at Flagstaff and then us over here and then the family together. There's no correlation between one picture to the next. But in a video, each frame is dependent on what goes before it and what comes after it.
That's the way our life is. The decisions we make have consequences. It's important how we apply ourselves. It's important how we think. It's important how we work.
I remember my freshman college orientation. I'm in this big room and you went through all this and then you met a counselor. We're all done and the counselor said to me, "Do you have any questions?" And I said, "Yeah, I have one. What grade point do you need to graduate?" And she said "2.0," and for the very first time in my life I had a goal. I didn't always achieve it. Sometimes it was 1.7 and sometimes it was 2.1. But all of a sudden we need to understand, that's what we're talking about with our kids.
There's a phenomenon I was talking about with one of the staff. By the way, let me just tell you something that I've noticed this year, and I don't know that I'm imagining this. The summer staff this year is extraordinary, better than any staff I've ever seen. You need to reinforce that as they wait on you in the tables and as you see them around.
Understanding Consequences
I was talking to one of the young girls today, and we were talking about consequences and college. I'm dealing with a lot of basically white middle class kids, and it's amazing to me that many of them don't even consider college as an option. That's not the deal anymore.
Here's what I try to say to them: Look, I have a place where I can get you a job. I guarantee I can get you a job. But I can't get you an interview if you don't have a college degree. And they're talking about not going to college. I'm saying you got to understand that has huge ramifications.
It's like when you get a tattoo. Jimmy Buffett has a great line—he calls a tattoo "a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling." I had a kid who showed up in my Bible study one day, and over the weekend he had tattooed a spider on his cheek. I got no problem with tattoos—whatever, have your tattoos. But I'm saying once you do that, that kind of limits your job employment opportunities for the future. They aren't hiring you. You might as well tattoo "I will work for minimum wage all my life" right across your forehead. You've just made those decisions.
How God Helps Us Make Decisions
Well, how do we go about making these decisions? I want to invite you to open your Bibles to Psalm 119. It is the longest chapter in the Scripture, Psalm 119.
In the course of Psalm 119, God refers to the Scripture or to His Word in a variety of ways: twenty-five times He calls it the law, twenty-four times the Word, twenty-three times He uses the phrase rulings or ordinances, twenty-three times testimonies, twenty-two times commandments, twenty-one times decrees or statutes, precepts or charges twenty-one times, sayings or promise nineteen times. How does God help us in this process of making decisions?
When Sarah, my daughter Sarah, was ten years old, we're in the car one day and I ask her this: "Does God speak to you?" And she said, "Yes." And I said, "How?" And she said, "In three ways: through His Word, through His Holy Spirit, and through people." Now she was ten. About a week later I said to her, "Does God speak to you?" And she said, "I don't know." I think what happened the previous week is God was just affirming some things that I know.
Does God Speak to You Today?
Does God speak to you today? That gets a little dangerous, doesn't it? I hang around in pretty tight, pretty conservative, pretty orthodox, pretty wound tight kind of circles. So when you start talking about God speaking to you, we get a little nervous. Because we've had guys—we've had God speak to guys. I mean, the Son of Sam had God speaking to him through a dog, right? So we get a little apprehensive about that.
I'm afraid that in doing that, sometimes we miss the fact that yeah, God is communicating to you. I know the majority of you weren't here to watch that little film, but that's a wonderful story as Mrs. McNeil is talking about. Here's this person and they see this—is that God? Is that not? How do we figure all that out?
God Speaks Through His Word
God speaks to us in three ways. Number one, through His Word. Psalm 119, as I said, the longest chapter in the scripture. Let's just go through some of these as you see how God speaks to you.
Look at verse one: "How blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the Lord. How blessed are those who observe His testimonies." Verse four: "You have ordained your precepts that we should keep them diligently. Oh, that my ways may be established to keep your statutes."
Verse nine: "How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to your word." Verse 10: "With all my heart I have sought you. Do not let me wander from your commandments." Verse 11: "Your word I have treasured in my heart that I may not sin against you." Verse 12: "Blessed are you, O Lord, teach me your statutes."
Verse 15: "I will meditate on your precepts and regard your ways." Verse 16: "I shall delight in your statutes. I shall not forget your word." The psalmist continues, verse 25: "Your testimonies are my delight. All this talking about the word of God. Your testimonies are my delight. They are my counselors."
Here you go. This day and age where you got Dr. Phil and you got Oprah, you got all a bunch of counselors. Here's the counselor you want: you want that counselor to flow from God's word.
We looked at this last night in Second Timothy chapter three: in the last days people will be lovers of themselves. What's the solution to all that? He flows right into the understanding of God's word.
Verse 25 says, "My soul cleaves to dust. Revive me according to your word." As I read through Psalm 119, I see that word "revive" again and again. Bring life to me. Revive me. How? Through your word.
Verse 36: "Incline my heart to your testimonies and not to dishonest gain." Verse 38: "Establish your word to your servant as that which produces reverence for you." Verse 44: "So I will keep your law continually forever and ever." Verse 47: "I shall delight in your commands, which I love." And verse 48: "And I shall lift up my hands to your commandments, which I love. And I will meditate on your statutes." I'll think about them. I won't just casually encounter them. I'll think about them again and again and again.
The Word Brings Revival
Verse 50: "This is my comfort and my affliction that your word has revived me." "I have remembered your ordinances from of old, O Lord, and comfort myself," verse 52. Verse 55: "O Lord, I remember your name in the night and keep your law." Verse 63: "I am a companion of those who fear you and of those who keep your precepts." You see that theme over and over again: keep, meditate, think about.
Verse 64: "The earth is full of your loving kindness, O Lord. Teach me your statutes. You have dealt well with your servant, O Lord, according to your word." Verse 67: "Before I was afflicted, I went astray, but now I keep your word." See the connection? I was afflicted. What was the cause of that affliction in this case? Well, I had gone away from your word.
Does that mean all hardship and difficulty in our life is a result of our sin? No, not at all. Sometimes God's just blessing you with suffering. But oftentimes that suffering is a consequence of our sin, of our rebellion. If God says do this, and you violate it, there'll be a consequence to you.
Discipline and Love
If God is truly your Father, just as you are an earthly father, if you love your kid, when they disobey, you take them to the woodshed. You discipline them. Jim Dobson says the number one mistake that people make in raising their children is thinking if they love them enough, they'll never have to discipline them.
That's really more true now where you've got blended families. We've done some weddings at the church where you need a program to figure out who's the mom, and we got four moms walking down the aisle, five dads. Now you have the kid for a week and then you have Him for a week and you have Him for a week. That is really difficult because it's hard to be firm and it's hard to discipline because you want to be the nice guy, not the mean guy. So all those problems just get exaggerated.
Learning Through Affliction
Verse 68: "You are good and do good. Teach me your statutes." Verse 71, connected with verse 75: "It is good for me that I was afflicted that I may learn your statutes." Verse 75: "I know, O Lord, that your judgments are righteous and that in your faithfulness you have afflicted me." Put those two together. Verse 71: it's good for me to be afflicted. I learned your statutes.
That's what Job says. Job goes through all of this stuff, and when we get to the last chapter, here's what Job said: "Before I had heard about you, now I've seen you. Before I'd studied your work, but now I've experienced it."
When you take a science class in school, there are typically two parts to that science class: the classroom and the laboratory. This is all classroom in here. If you can't get this stuff right in here, you're really in trouble. But the challenge is the minute you walk out the door.
The Laboratory of Life
Isn't it amazing that Janet has to remind us that you got a button that says Christian Conference Center and these people are watching you? Do you understand that? I guarantee you what she says is exactly true. Over the years I've gotten to know a couple of the people here in town and they don't have the foggiest idea what this thing is. This is David Koresh and a cult as far as they're concerned. They don't have the foggiest idea. It's some Christian thing and it's good for the economy because they bring money and they buy ice cream and cookies by the boatload. But other than that, they don't have it figured out.
So here you go. I'm here in the classroom. Now I go into the laboratory. Now I got to go back to work.
The last time Susan and I were here was over Labor Day. That day there had been a fatal car wreck up here on the 26th coming in. I was walking down the beach and there was a gal there, just stunned. What had happened is it had been somebody that she had known. All of a sudden she started talking to me about this, and she had no clue who I was or what I did or anything. She said she had talked to her about dying, had talked to her about her faith. It's all theory. Then we go out there into the laboratory. Job 42: "Before I heard about you, now I've seen you."
The Word as Our Guide
Let's just work through this. Look at verse 88: "Revive me according to your lovingkindness so I may keep the testimony of your mouth." Verse 93: "I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have revived me." There's the idea again. Just a few more, as I said, longest chapter in Scripture.
Verse 103: "How sweet are your words to my taste, yes, sweeter than honey to my mouth!" "From your precepts I get understanding." Where do I understand the world? How do I understand how to live? From your precepts, from your truth, from your word. "Therefore I hate every false way. Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."
Verse 107: "I am exceedingly afflicted. Revive me, O Lord, according to your word." Look at verse 113: "I hate those who are double-minded, but I love your law." Who are double-minded? Those who are blown—
away by every one of the latest flags, the latest things, the new world thinking. But you and I are rock-solid. We're stable. How are we anchored? In His word.
Verse 114, "you are my hiding place, my shield. I wait for your word." Verse 116, "sustain me," how? "According to your word, that I may live." Verse 117, "uphold me that I may be safe, that I may have regard for your statutes." Verse 124, "deal with your servant according to your love and kindness and teach me your statutes." Verse 127, "therefore I love your commandments above gold. Yes, above fine gold."
Verse 129, "your testimonies are wonderful, therefore my soul observes them." This just goes on and on. Look at verse 134, "redeem me from the oppression of man that I may keep your precepts." Verse 140, "your word is very pure, therefore your servant loves it." Because if you love God, you'll keep His commandments.
Verse 153, "look upon my affliction and rescue me, for I do not forget your law. Plead my cause and redeem me, revive me," how? "According to your word." This goes on and on. Verse 160, "the sum of your word is truth and every one of your righteous ordinances is everlasting." Verse 167, "those who love your law have great peace and nothing causes them to stumble." Verse 174, "I long for your salvation, O Lord, and your law is my delight."
Learning Discernment Through God's Word
Now we're talking about making godly decisions in the word, so I want to highlight a couple of verses for you out of Psalm 119. Look at verse 33, "teach me, O Lord, the way of your statutes and I shall observe it to the end. Give me understanding that I may observe your law and keep it with all my heart."
Very similar thought in verse 64, "the earth is filled with your loving kindness. Teach me your statutes." Verse 66, "teach me good discernment and knowledge, for I believe in your commandments." Here's my definition of discernment. When you're talking about discernment, here's how I define discernment: the ability to connect the dots. Discernment is the ability to look at this world as confusing as it is and begin to understand it.
As you look at verse 33 and 34 and 66 and 104 and 105, you hear the same theme over and over again. Look at verse 136, "my eyes shed streams of water." I'm crying. I'm filled with tears. I'm broken hearted. Why? "Because I do not keep your law." Now you can take this and study and study Psalm 119 and you'll see those themes come to you over and over again.
How God Speaks Through His Word
How does God speak to us? Well, through His word. I have never been, and this is if you have parents and there's kids in here, but I've just never been a huge education guy. Mark Twain had a great line. He said, "I never let school interfere with my education." And that was kind of the way I approached it.
I wasn't a particularly good student and still I'm not. I'm not an exceptionally bright guy at all. I came in one night years ago and Haley's doing math. I particularly found math to be somewhat senseless. And so I just was never attracted to math. It's just me. I'm not wired that way. You know, if you're a math guy, you're not a history guy and the way it goes.
And so she's working on these problems. And I said, "Haley, why don't you put that down and we'll go for a walk or something. I need something to do." And she said, "No, I got to do this." And I said, "This, leave it alone. Let's go do it." And she said, "No, no." I said, "You know what? When I was in school and the math questions, all the answers were in the back of the book. Are the answers in the back of the book?" And she said, "Yeah." And I said, "Oh my gosh, Haley. Let's turn to the back of the book and put the answer in there and let's go for a walk." And she said, "Dad, I need to understand how to do this. Just get away from me. Leave me alone."
Here's the deal. It's the same thing. All the answers to your questions are in the book. And He invites you to turn to the back of the book. He speaks to you through His Word. Good decisions are godly decisions.
How God Speaks Through His Spirit
He also speaks to you through His Spirit, through the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is part of this triune God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. One God manifests in three personalities. How do you explain it? I think it's impossible to explain its mystery, but we know it exists.
Acts chapter 5, there's this wonderful scene with Ananias and Sapphira. And I always thought those were Marvin Gaye's backup singers, but no, they are not Ananias and Sapphira. They're this biblical couple. And here's what they do. That was good, huh, John? Here's what happens. They sell a piece of land. And let's say we don't know, but for sake of discussion, let's say they sold it for $1,000.
And Ananias comes in and presents this money to the apostles, to Peter. And he said, "I want to give you all the proceeds from the sale of my land, all $500 of it." Peter said, "Really? Why have you lied to God?" And he struck over dead. And it says, the men came and drug him away. And some scholars believe that the men who were part of this were this was an office in the early church, that this was a regular happening. That's scary, huh?
And then his wife shows up and she has not heard exactly what's happened yet. And he goes through the same process Peter does and said, "Why have you lied to the Holy Spirit? Why have you lied to the Spirit of God, to the person of God? Why?" And they drag him out.
The Work of the Holy Spirit
The Holy Spirit works in our life in a variety of ways. It's the Holy Spirit that causes you to be born again. It's the Holy Spirit that convicts you of sin. It's the Holy Spirit that indwells you. We love to say God is in this room. How do we mean that? In some pantheistic way to say God's in everything? No, God is here. There are people here who know Jesus Christ is their Lord and Savior. And consequently God lives within them, indwells them. The Spirit of God indwells them. The Holy Spirit has sealed you and me for a day of redemption.
that mean? That means if we are His kids we have been saved not by anything that we've done. We've been saved by God's grace. We are secure in that relationship. That's what Jesus says in John 10: "My sheep hear my voice. I know them. They know me. And no one can snatch them out of my hand."
Look at John, the Gospel of John chapter 16. Jesus is speaking. If you're looking for a passage to study, I love to recommend that people study John 14, 15, 16, and 17. This is a wonderful passage. It's that moment where Jesus is saying goodbye to His disciples. There's lots of things that are in there, lots of things you'd be familiar with. It's in John chapter 14, verse 6 that Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me."
The Helper Will Come
Look at John chapter 16, verse 7. Jesus is speaking. If you have a red-lettered Bible, meaning the words of Jesus are there in red, this will be red. He said this: "I tell you the truth. It's to your advantage that I go away. For if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send Him to you. And He, when He comes, will convict you, not condemn you. He will convince you of the need of His Savior. He'll convict you. He'll convict the world considering its sin and righteousness and judgment."
I remember the very first time I read that, I thought, that is really strange. Because to me, the greatest thing I can think of is walking with Jesus, literally. I would think if Jesus was here right now, that would be a big thing. For us, that would be about as good as it could get. And yet here He is with His boys and He says, "It's to your advantage that I go."
Why? Because, well, number one, I'm going to die on the cross and redeem you. But number two, and this is what He highlights, the Helper. See that in verse 7? The Helper. And I, at least in my scripture, and I assume in yours, the word Helper is capitalized referring to the deity itself. The Helper will come. The Spirit will come. It's the Spirit that opens our eyes to see this truth.
Natural Man Cannot Understand Spiritual Things
First Corinthians chapter 2 verse 14 says this: natural man cannot understand spiritual things. Have you ever had the experience where you're sitting down with a friend, God's done something wonderful in your life. God saved you. Let's do this, by the way. We haven't done this exercise and it's not designed to embarrass you. So if you don't want to participate, you don't have to participate. But how many of you in this room were saved after you were 18 years of age? Just raise your hands. See a whole bunch of you. Now, this is one of my Bible studies. It's like everybody. I tend to attract the late bloomers.
Well, if you're older than 18 and God saved you, something's happened in your life, the most natural thing in the world is to begin to share with your friends about it. So you're sitting down with your friends or a family member. It's your mom or it's your dad. It's a sibling. It's your best friend. And you're sitting down with them and you're just pouring your heart out. You're just talking about what God's doing.
You're talking about how you were lost and now you've been found and Jesus Christ died and then He did something that's really big. This was my Easter message several years ago. Jesus rose from the dead. That's a big deal. That's a huge deal. Nobody's done this. It confirms He's who He said He was.
And you're pouring your guts out to this person. They're just asking you the same old questions back and forth. And then all of a sudden, you got this one thing. It was something that really worked for you. When somebody said it, it connected. And you say, "Well, let me say this to you." And then you say it. And they say, "You think it'll rain? What? How about the Mariners? How about the Supersonics? How about those Seahawks?" And you're going, "What in the world is going on here? What's the problem?"
There's the Spirit of God in them. You might as well talk to this thing. Natural man can't understand spiritual things. Here's what they're hearing. It doesn't mean anything to them. It doesn't mean anything. There's no decoder. They don't get it. They just don't get it. It doesn't make any sense to them.
When the Spirit Opens Eyes
That was my case. The first time I ever remember somebody sharing the gospel was there was a guy that I worked with. And he invited us over to his house, he and his wife. And they fixed us this meal. They did all this stuff. And all of a sudden, he started talking about Jesus. And he was talking about the fact that we're sinners. And I'm thinking, "Oh my gosh, this isn't going well." And Susan is actually getting a little offended by this whole idea. "What do you mean sinners? Anywhere you go."
And I'm saying, "Oh man, they made brownies. Don't blow them off until we eat the brownies. Let's eat the brownies. Then blow them off." And I'm out the door trying to grab brownies on the way out. And Susan's going, "We're out of here. I don't want to hear this."
How is it when this guy shared Jesus, I said, "Mm." And that moment when Larry shared it, I received it. There's only one difference. It isn't me. It's not like we got smarter. It's not that Larry did a better job. It's that God opened your eyes.
And by the way, this is very freeing when it comes to evangelism. It really doesn't matter. In this sense. I was in a church, and they introduced me. It was a little frustrating. But they introduced me. There was a couple of things. The night started rough because they were going, the sound system wasn't working. So they're going, "Oh, brother Tom must have a great message for us tonight because Satan's work." And I said, "No, you bought cheap stuff. If you buy cheap stuff, it doesn't work. It's got tubes in it. They don't use tubes anymore. Not Satan. He doesn't have to get you. You just are cheap."
So then we're all done. And they're introducing me. And they're talking about the church. He said, "We are a great church. We're a..."
soul winning church. Well, I am a guest. It's like when I'm here and Janet calls and invites us. This isn't a way game. I'm a guest. So I have to be nice. And so I didn't say anything. But when I went back to our church and talked about it, I said, I want to really make this point. There's no such thing as a soul winning church. You can't win a soul. This is really important.
So we'll use a little illustration here. Here we've got Craig here. We got Wade here. Let's say the two of them leave here. And they go down to Dugars. And they're sitting there. And they're having a bowl of clam chowder. And next to them is a table with a couple of guys. And they start to talk. Craig's talking to one. Wade's talking to another.
Wade's talking to this guy. And the guy said, why are you in town? He said, well, I'm doing music. Really? Music? You don't look like a music guy. And he said, oh, well, I am. Just a little shot there. And he said, you don't look like a music guy. Well, what kind of music do you do? Well, I do this worship. Worship? What's that? Why do this Christian thing? Christian thing? What is it? It's that thing at the end of the block. Really? What is it? What's unique about you? And he said, well, you know, Jesus died.
Craig's on the other side having the same conversations. I play guitar. Really? What do you do? And he starts to share. The guy that Wade's talking to said, you're nuts. This is goofy. This is weird. The guy Craig's talking to says, I've been waiting all my life to hear those words.
God's Responsibility vs. Our Responsibility
Now, this is really important. What do we say next? Who is God happier with? Craig or Wade? Both. Why? This is so important because everybody answers that question, right? But look at the theological implications. God's happy with both because He's not concerned about whether that person believed or not in the sense that it's not Wade's responsibility or Craig's responsibility. That's God's responsibility.
Here's what He wants from you and me. Proclaim the truth. And to do it in love and to do it in grace, to be as non-offensive as we can possibly be and let the message offend. Listen, if you're listening to this message and it says Jesus is the only way and somebody goes, that sounds so narrow, don't get defensive. It is really narrow. It eliminates all the other possibilities. It's a narrow, hard message. That's why it's comforting to know you didn't make it up.
And it doesn't matter whether that person responds in this sense. Do you understand what I'm saying here? It doesn't matter in the sense that you don't get credit if he does or demerits if he doesn't respond. You're not winning souls, my friend. That's God's job. In fact, my experience is we don't really need or want or like the souls you win because it doesn't work so well. They need to be converted.
And I get a little tangential here. But isn't that the problem with the church today? The problem with the church today is it's filled with unconverted people. I speak every other year at the seminary for an hour. That's what they give me, an hour. And it's to talk about our church. I'll get the same question every year. We know about your church. How do you get all these volunteers? Very pragmatic. And I said, well, we got some in our church that's a little weird. We got some we don't have at a lot of churches. We got like converted people. And converted people just kind of instinctively understand that you need to serve.
What a converted person is, is somebody who's had their eyes open and they can see the truth. That is an amazing thing that there was that one moment when I heard it and said, give me my brownie. I'm out of here. And the next moment when I heard it, it was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard.
How God Speaks to You
How does God speak to you? Well, He speaks to you through His Word. He speaks to you through the Holy Spirit. Let me give you another way. He speaks to you through people.
I am, and Susan and I, but I don't want to drag her into this. I'll just take it on my own. I am a loner by nature. I don't like crowds. Odd business to be in, eh? I don't really like a lot of people. I could go up to the room that we have and I could go into that room. It doesn't have television. I could go into that room and literally if you fed me, I could stay in there probably the rest of my life. I just don't... People... I mean, it's a difficult thing.
Here's the problem. The Christian life at its core, and I mentioned it this morning, demands relationship. You cannot live out the great commandment to love your neighbors as you love yourself if you don't have contact with people. You're an ambassador. Can you imagine an ambassador if he goes to a foreign land and just sits in the embassy and closes the window and watches ESPN? We'd recall that guy like that. We'd get him out of there like that, or her out of there like that. You're an ambassador. It demands relationship. And God speaks to you in a variety of ways, including through people.
The Importance of Mentoring
Let me make a pitch here. I've got about 10 minutes, I think. Let me make a pitch here for this idea of mentoring. I notice in a lot of churches, a lot of Christian settings, that mentoring is a big deal. Two components to mentoring. There's the mentor and the protege.
If you are looking, and let me just give you... I'm going to give you my... This is my list here, so it's so imperfect, but at least it's a list. If you're looking for a mentor, here's what you ought to look for. They ought to know the Christian faith. They ought to share your faith. They should be willing to invest time in you. They need to be available. It's helpful if they're kind of where you want to be, because they can tell you how to get there. And it's great if you have something in common, like if they like golf and you like golf, it really works.
Let me talk about a protege a second. Rarely does a week go by that somebody
doesn't say to me, "Will you be my mentor?" And I always say the same thing: no. My dance card's full. I don't have any more space.
But I'll tell you what to look for in a mentor. I'll tell you what he's looking for from you, and I'll give him that list for the mentor. Here's what I look for when a guy wants to spend time with me. Number one, does he share the faith? Number two, does he want to learn? And three, is he coachable?
There's nothing more frustrating to me than to sit down with somebody, start to invest time in them, and say, "Here's what God's Word says." They say, "Yep," then come back next week and I say, "Did you do it?" They say, "No." That's strike one and two. You got one more. If we go through this whole process again, we agree you're going to do it, and you aren't going to do it, you're out of here. Now that may sound really hard to you, but I think that's what you have to demand.
You need this in your life. Let me really pitch this. You need somebody pouring into your life, and you need some life that you're pouring into.
The Beautiful Picture of Mentoring
I had a beautiful illustration of this one day. My mentor—there isn't anyone any closer—was Larry Wright. I've mentioned him to you before. When I had issues, I'd call Larry.
I'm at my house one day. I hit line one. I call out to Larry's house. "Yeah, hello." I said, "Doc, Tommy. Look, I got some issues here. I need some help. I need some direction. I'm not sure what to do." Then line two rang, and he said, "Go ahead and get it." I said, "I don't need to get it. I need help. I don't need to get that." He said, "Go ahead and get it."
I put line one on hold. I pushed line two. "Tom?" "Yeah, I need help. Can you help me?" It was a beautiful picture to me. Line one, I'm a protégé. Line two, I'm a mentor. That's what you have to have in your life.
A Challenge to Older Believers
Now, let me challenge you a little bit here. We have really pushed in our church for older people to be spending time with younger people. We have seen a huge appetite on the part of the younger people, but not the older people. I've talked to three guys from three different churches, and each time when we talk about mentoring they go, "Here's our problem. We can't get the older people engaged."
If you're in that category, let me tell you, don't be intimidated by these younger people. They're dying to spend time with people like you. I'll give you a vision. I'm not going to do it, but I'll give you a vision. Here's what older people do. They all move to leisure world. They all move to some city. They polish rocks and spend their day and do their time with one another.
I'll tell you what, if you're an older person in here and you want to have an impact, here's what to do. Move to the new neighborhood—it'll save you money because it'll be cheaper—that's out in the suburbs, that's filled with young families. You'll be the only old person around. Let me tell you something, those young moms will be living at your house saying, "How do you make this thing? What do you do when they cry? Which diaper?" They'll ask you all these questions. It opens you up to have all these discussions about how do you know this? Because God says it. Because we've seen God work.
The Powerful Witness of Aging Well
Now, you let them see, because you know what happens when you get older? Let me tell you what happens if you haven't already figured out. Your body starts to give out. Your knees start to go, and your shoulder starts to hurt, and your mind starts to drift. They're going to watch you, and as you begin to really experience the difficulty of aging and the process of dying, these people are going to watch you. You're going to communicate to them nonverbally some of the most powerful lessons you can ever give them.
But you can't have that happen if you're sitting with a bunch of old people, talking about, "Well, I ache," "Well, me too, but mine's back here. Have you seen that? No. Did Medicare cover that? No, I don't think so."
Understanding God's Will for Decision Making
Now, all that done, let's get really practical. Sorry. Now we're talking about decision making. So how do we make decisions? What I'm about to share with you is either going to free you up or frustrate you, one of the two. Here's how we make decisions at our house. Here's how I make decisions in my life.
God has a will for your life. When we use that term, God's will, we typically speak of it in one of three ways. One is His sovereign will. So in Acts chapter 2, Peter's delivering this powerful sermon and he says that Jesus was delivered up by the predetermined plan of God. That's His sovereign will. God has sovereignly ordained that you would be here. When God said, "Let there be light," there was light. The light didn't struggle, the light didn't debate. When Jesus says, "Lazarus, come forth," Lazarus wasn't in there going, "Maybe I will, maybe I won't." He just came shuffling out, all bound up. That's God's sovereign will. That's God's mysterious will. By nature, by definition, you can't define it.
God's Moral Will
Then we talk about God's moral will. Look at Colossians chapter 1. We're all over the place, huh? Colossians chapter 1, verse 9: "For this reason also, since the day we heard of it, we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you would be filled with the knowledge of His will." Here's what we're praying: "Oh God, let me be filled with the knowledge of Your will." Let's read on: "The knowledge of Your will and all spiritual wisdom and understanding so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord to please Him in all respects."
Here's what that's talking about. The will of God that He's talking about here is His moral will—how we should live, how we should respond. You don't need to turn there but 1 Thessalonians chapter 4, Paul writes to these people, "Finally brethren..."
We request and exhort you in the Lord Jesus Christ that as you receive from us instruction on how you ought to walk and please God that you'll excel in that for you know what commandments we gave you for this is the will of God. 1 Thessalonians chapter 4 verse 3 that you abstain from sexual immorality.
He's talking about the will of God. What's He talking about? He's talking about God's moral will. What's God's moral will for your life? Here's God's moral will for your life right here.
I literally have a guy one time coming to meet with me and he's going, "I kind of want to do what you do and I think I could teach." Everybody thinks they can do this. I must make it look really easy or I'm really bad, one of the two. But he said, "I'd like to do what you do and I'd like to do this and I just want to understand God's moral will for my life."
I had heard something about him, so I said, "Are you dating somebody?" He said, "I'm not really dating with her, I'm living with her." I said, "Really? Okay, let me back up. I know God's will for your life. God's will for your life is really clear. Move out. You ought not be involved with her sexually. That's God's will for your life."
Understanding the Will of God
This guy's trying to figure out if he ought to go to Zambia or start a Bible study or what he ought to do. Why would God show this guy more things in his life when he clearly is rebelling against His will?
So when we talk about the will of God, we talk about it in three ways. One is sovereign will, two His moral will. You don't have to guess - it's here. Here's the third way we talk about it: it's kind of God's individual knowable will for your life.
Gary Friesen - you know that name? Gary Friesen wrote a book called Decision Making and the Will of God. It's a fairly controversial book in some ways. It's the most freeing book I ever read. As I'm reading it I'm going, "Well that's what I think, that's what I think."
Here's what Friesen says: this individual knowable will for your life doesn't exist. You may get strong impressions, but if you're trying to figure out should I go to work for Intel or Starbucks or Nordstrom's, you're not going to find it in here.
Making Decisions God's Way
So how do I make decisions? Well God's sovereign will I can't know, His moral will I do know. So now it's time to make a decision. I've got some things I need to do.
First of all, I look at my life. I see is there any sin in my life? Ongoing unrepentant, blatant sin. If there is, this isn't the time to be making a bunch of decisions. I talk to my friends. I pray. I study God's word. But if I'm trying to figure out whether to go to Washington State or Washington or Gonzaga, I'm not going to find it in there.
Here's what happens. By the way, He doesn't want you to go to Washington State. Whatever. I could have picked anyone. I don't know. I just figured I'd pick one and it would upset somebody. So that was good. It's great in California because it's USC and UCLA and you just bash one and the rest of them go nuts.
The Joy of Options
Here's what I've observed. God gives us these wonderful opportunities - these three schools, these three jobs, these three different houses. And we're so bent to try to figure out which house does God want me to have that I miss the whole joy of Him giving me options.
I'll tell you what I think. I don't think He cares. I don't think He cares. Live in the blue house. Live in the green house. But know this: you better be living in His moral will. That's the key. And once I'm living in here, do whatever you want to do.
Practical Application: Marriage Decisions
Real practical - let's say you're trying to figure out, should I marry this girl? Well if I'm thinking, "Man, God's got one girl for me," I'm going, "Ooh, 3.5 billion girls out there. I'm going to have to date pretty fast to find the one." Hey, how about you? No. You? No. You? No. And I'm just going through them because I'm looking for that one. That's not how you do it.
Here's what you do. I work with the guys. Here's what I tell them. Step one, understand that God has roles in a marriage. Husband love your wife. Wife submit to your husband. So if you're going to marry this gal, her role is to line up under you, to submit to you. So you better get somebody that can kind of understand that. And you're going to have to love her as Christ loves the church. So it would be really good if she was nice. That's important.
You also are called to live a monogamous, lifelong, permanent relationship. I do these weddings and I'm going, "Okay, for better or worse, rich or poor, sickness and health, to death do you part." And I'm going, "Do you have the foggiest idea of what you're about to agree to?" Better, worse, richer, poorer. Now I can't imagine anybody saying, "I'm out of here, we're richer." But still, it's there. Richer, poorer, sickness, health, to death do us part. I do. That's what you're saying forever. You better think about that.
I'll tell you something, we don't really think about it. It would be great if she was a friend, because you're going to be with her forever. I'd pray. And then here's what I do. I go to the scripture. Does the scripture speak about what a spouse ought to be? Yes, it does. What's the scripture say? It needs to be a believer. But I think that's kind of like bare bones. I don't know if you just want a believer. I think you can marry a believer and still, in a way, be unequally yoked. It's somebody that's not growing, they're not anywhere. I think you want somebody that's vibrant in their faith, that love their Lord.
Now here's how I recommend the guys make the decision. Get all your potential candidates. Put them through that grid. Take the five that are left and marry the prettiest one. That's just the way to do it, boys. Look at that. Do you see the freedom in that?
Making Godly Decisions
Here's how you make decisions. God's given you His will. Here it is. This is it. If you are in God's moral will, and some people can't handle this, but here it is. If you're in God's moral will, do what you want.
I had a guy who calls me one day and he said, "Tom, I'm so excited. God has given me this new job. It's God's will that I take this job." Once somebody says to me, "It's God's will that I do it," I'm done with the discussion. If it's God's will, you better do it. A year later, it was on the front page of all the papers. His whole thing had blown up. Everything had fallen apart. He called me and he said, "I really screwed up. I really misunderstood God." I said, "Really? Maybe God wanted you humiliated. Maybe God wanted..." This is a game you can't get out of when you start this.
God wants you pure. God wants you to delight in His Word. God wants you to pray for one another and pray without ceasing and follow His Word. God cares about the one anothers - love one another. God doesn't want you to steal or sin. But whether God wants you to go out here tonight and put chocolate and nuts in your ice cream or cherries and strawberry, I'm telling you, I don't think He cares. If you're running around trying to figure that out, we're going to find you in a corner going crazy before long. You're going to go nuts.
God's Freedom in Decision Making
He loves you, man. He gave you choices. Celebrate the choices He gave you. That's how you make decisions. Here's the playbook. Here's the answer. It's an open book test. Here it is. Study it. Meditate on it. If He says do it, do it. If He says avoid it, avoid it. And then the rest of this stuff, do what you want to do. I personally find that very, very freeing.
Let's pray. Father, thank You for this truth. Thank You that You have established Your Word, that it's true. Father, thank You that You have put in us the ability to learn and a passion. God, now as we begin to live this life and make decisions, let us do it in a way that brings honor and glory to You. You are a wonderful God. Your Word, a light to our path. Father, thank You. In Jesus' name, amen.