Live Your Life Confidently

Tom Shrader explores the fourth principle of staying straight in a crooked world: living life confidently. Drawing from Romans 8 and other passages, he addresses common fears including death, economic insecurity, rejection, loneliness, suffering, failure, and insignificance. He emphasizes that confidence comes not from personal strength but from God's unchanging love and the security of salvation.

“Our Christian life is not based on us hanging on to Him, it's Him hanging on to me.”

— Tom Shrader

Series: How Do I Stay Straight in a Crooked World (2006)

Recorded: 2006 at Cannon Beach Conference Center

Duration: 1 hr 6 min

Themes: confidence, fear, security, courage, faith, trust, boldness, assurance, facing financial uncertainty, struggling with fear, feeling insecure, dealing with rejection, overwhelmed by worry, new believer, young adult, parent

Scripture: Romans 8:31-39, Philippians 1:6, Ephesians 2:8-9, Matthew 6:19-34, Deuteronomy 31:8, 2 Timothy 4:9-11, Hebrews 9:27, Acts 2:24

Theological Themes: assurance of salvation, eternal security, providence, god's sovereignty, romans eight, justification, sanctification, perseverance

Full Transcript

Good to see you this morning. Let's let this be our prayer as we start. Father, we pray that your Spirit would indeed fall upon us, fresh on us, that You'd open our eyes and soften our hearts and we would be the men and women that You've called us, designed us to be. Thank you again for this place and this time. You have brought us here for a reason and we pray that that reason indeed is accomplished in our life. We pray that in Jesus' name, Amen.

If you've got those outlines, you may want to grab them. I met a couple of people who came in last night a little bit late. There's some outlines over by the door and that's what we're really using as our basis for this week and we work our way through that. We're really clear about it from the very beginning that we're just going to navigate our way through this building, one premise upon another. Touching on, I hope, a lot of practical application, things that will allow us when we leave this place to at least emotionally and intellectually, whether we get it to our heart and our legs, that's a different story, but emotionally and intellectually have even a deeper understanding of not just God and who He is but what He would expect from us.

Let me also just mention and reinforce what Janet talked about. I was intrigued by all of those trips next year, the ones to Greece and the one to Germany or Switzerland. Sounds an incredible trip. It was really weird for us. We have done this will be our third cruise that we've sponsored and Susan was emailing back and forth with Janet and discovered we were going and then we compared dates and discovered we had booked the same cruise at the same time. So that's really good news.

Let me encourage you to get a hold of inspiration and obviously let them know you're with Cannon Beach and all that stuff. But this sounds really weird because it's 51 weeks away, but I'd really encourage you to register early. Last time we did the Alaska cruise, we had a good chunk of people who simply got shut out. Some of them couldn't get on at all and others of them just simply couldn't get the rooms that they preferred.

It is, right now for the cruise lines, the most popular of the cruises. And for you up here, it may not be as big a deal as it is for us, but when it's 110 or 112 or whatever it is, getting out of there in August is a big thing. And we had last year on the cruise, we had the best weather. We were at the glacier. This is how you know it's really good. We're at the glacier and all of the staff was there with their video camera, videoing what was going on. We've been there at the glacier in the past where it's winter. And I had on shorts and a t-shirt and flip flops and maybe it's the heat, I don't know. But for whatever reason, the glacier was just calving and we had a wonderful time. It's a great trip. So get a hold of inspiration. I'm sure you have brochures back there. And get a hold of them, let them know you're with Cannon Beach and get set up for that.

Finding Stability in a Crooked World

Here's where we started this whole thing. We said, how to stay straight in a crooked world. Implication, not that the world's immoral. We know that's true. But that the world's in a state of flux. That circumstances are just going this way and that way.

Our girls call every morning and I heard Susan out there with the girls this morning and she said, we don't have a television. We haven't turned on the radio. Is there anything going on? And obviously there is. But we know that. They fluctuate. On our news and on CNN and Fox and all, all we got for 26 days was Lebanon, Lebanon, Lebanon, Lebanon. And then all of a sudden we catch these guys and then we get terrorism, terrorism, terrorism.

I showed Susan this morning, when I came through I carried my bag because I had my notes. So I didn't want anybody to take anything. And I unpacked it today and there was a little bottle of gel which our sharp TSA people scanned and had no idea what it was and let it go through. So you're lucky I'm not a terrorist or we would have blown that thing up right in the middle of the air. But now that's on the news. And the circumstances go up and down.

How do I find stability in the midst of that? Because the circumstances aren't going to change. As I read the scripture and as I understand life, they even fluctuate more. And the older I get and the broader my sphere of friends and family comes, now there's kids and then spouses and then grandkids, almost inevitably I have more and more circumstances that go up and down.

The Foundation: God's Word as Final Authority

How do I find stability in the midst of that? Obviously with the right relationship with Christ, but understanding that the Bible is the word of God. It's the final authority in my life. So I'm not blowing in the wind. I'm not reading the latest version of whatever and redefining all of the faith and all of its practice based on some report that somebody writes from Harvard or Princeton or Fuller or Dallas or Masters.

I'm not blowing in the wind, reinterpreting everything, rethinking everything. It's not intellectual suicide, but it is faith surrendered to a living God who gave us His word. Now, if God's spoken to us, then I need to understand that word. I need to grow in that. I need to spend time with Him.

When you have somebody and all of a sudden here's this couple and they just begin to date, they can't get enough of each other. They get together right after work. They spend all evening together. He's driving home and he calls her. This is really stupid. And he calls her and they talk. And then the last thing they do, what are you doing now? Well, I'm in bed. Well, I'm in bed too. I'm thinking of you. You're going to be the last thing I think of. Me too. I'm thinking of you too. Click. And then they wake up and they go, Oh, I got through the night. Then they text message. I'm awake. Are you awake?

Now, the only way to really stop that is what? Marry him. Marry him. That'll get rid of that.

But what I understand is if I'm going to really love this person, I'm going to want to spend time with Him. Well, if I want to spend time with God, I'm going to do it primarily through prayer and through reading, studying, meditating in His Word, being with His people, and then living that life. Now I have to live a life. So I need to make, and that was last time's session, godly decisions.

We have an old friend. John knows him. John and I go back over 20 years just in circles that we've been in. But there's a gentleman by the name of John Wootenberg, who John would know well. And Mr. Wootenberg was a phenomenal man. He is in the San Francisco 49ers old-timers Hall of Fame. The 49ers developed two Hall of Fames. He played, I can't remember how many years, both sides of the ball and never missed a down. He was a lineman. He's big for our day and age. He was huge in that day and age. And he had a head about the size of that piano. And he was just carved out of granite.

He was a gruff old guy, but he was a cool old guy. And he had a bunch of phrases, and every once in a while, one would really click with me. And we're together one time, and he said, "You know what, Tom? Most people need a guardian." What he meant was, most of us need somebody to tell us what to do, because we screw it up. And the way that I avoid those mistakes, not again, I can't execute it, but at least know the right thing to do is to go to His word. Now I prepare to make decisions. And it allows me to make decisions with some level of authority.

Making Tough Decisions with Biblical Authority

A few years ago, we had a lady in our church, husband and wife, who had been with our church from the very beginning. They were wonderful people and very involved. And their daughter desired to get married, and we met with them a few times. And the guys who had the authority in that particular area said, "We are not going to marry you. We're not going to allow you to get married. We don't think this guy's a believer. We don't think you're ready."

Now that may sound to you really judgmental, and that may sound really harsh. I would, too, if I was on the outside, frankly. But this is not something they just do arbitrarily. They sit. They listen. And so both the husband and wife petitioned me and said, "Listen, I think you need to overlook this. I think you need to make an exception. We're comfortable this is the right decision." And I said, "You know, our guys are guys. They know what they're doing, and they're not going to allow her to get married. It's not going to happen. We're not going to let you use the church."

That's a really tough deal. Here's how you know maturity when something really special. But they didn't leave. Most people are gone at that point. They didn't leave. They hung in there. Girl got married. About a year later, she's divorced. For all the reasons that our guys told them.

How did they know that? Do they have some sort of crystal ball or tea leaves or... No. They know the word of God. They know what God says about a spouse. They know that this guy doesn't fit. And unless God intervenes supernaturally beyond anything that we've got here, this just isn't going to work. Something's got to happen. And indeed, it didn't.

Living Life Confidently

Here's the fourth thing. You've got it on your outline. Once we have these final authority, once we're now in this process of learning, we're making godly decisions. Number four, now I can live life confidently.

It's a scary world. Hopefully you didn't have to write that down. It's a scary world out there. The news is scary. Television. Walking down the street is scary. We went to... Last night where you were having ice cream, we went down the street about a mile and we had a little snack and it was just a chance for some of us to get together and talk. And Susan and I decided to walk back. We'll just walk back.

And we're walking and the mist and the fog is rolling in. The street light up by the Presbyterian church is out. You could see the mist. You could hear the voices of Cannon Beach Past. All of a sudden around the corner came somebody walking and I saw Susan jump. Oh no, it was me who jumped. I saw her jump and push her a little head just in case it was a bad guy and he had to take it. And then we got down here, down into where Duber's is and down in there and there was a guy behind us. And I didn't like him behind us so I said to Susan, are these shops? Let's look up in these shops and we let him get by us.

And this is a scary world. Lots of different things going on. And then I come along and say live life confidently. How can you say that? How can you say live life confidently?

The Source of Our Confidence

Philippians chapter 1 verse 6 Paul writes this, "For I am confident of this very thing that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." You can live confidently not because that confidence flows from you. You can live confidently not because you're better than anybody else. I hope we don't ever fall into that trap. It's to think that somehow as followers of Christ we're better than the rest of the world. Or that the reason you're a follower of Christ is God saw something intrinsically good in you and chose you to move into this relationship.

No. While you were yet sinners, God saved you. This is really important. Not based on anything that you have done or anything you will do or anything you are doing. God saved you in spite of you, not because of you. He who began that good work in you will continue it until the day of Christ Jesus.

Ephesians chapter 2 verse 8 and 9. "And we are saved by" what? We are saved by grace through faith. That's not of ourselves. It's a gift of God. Not as a result of works that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand

So that we may walk in Him. God saves us. Maxwell Lucado in his book "In the Grip of Grace" writes this, and I love this phrase: Please note, salvation is God-given, God-driven, God-empowered, God-originated. The gift is not from man to God but God to man. Grace is created by God and given to man.

On the basis of this point alone, Christianity is set apart from any other religion in the world. Every other approach to God is a bartering system. If I do this, God will do that. I'm either saved by works, what I do, or emotions, what I experience, or knowledge, what I know. Here's what he's saying: anything other than biblical Christianity is based on either what I do, what I experience or what I know. It's based on me.

As I said to you earlier, we get very clever in this. Sometimes we'll mix it up, do a little joint venture and say, "Well, God had to do this and Jesus had to do this, but I have to do that." I love it. It's God-given, God-driven, God-empowered, God-originated. By contrast, Christianity has no whiff of negotiation at all. Man is not the negotiator. Indeed, man has no grounds from which to negotiate with God.

Living Boldly Because of Who God Is

We live boldly. Why? Because we know who God is. We know who Jesus is. We know who we are in Him.

You have your Bibles open. Turn them to Romans chapter 8. Let's just dwell on this wonderful truth as we head into the rest of this time together. Romans 8, verse 31. Paul's taught some marvelous truths. In fact, we're going to come back a little bit later and spend some time on one of those verses.

But Paul writes this: "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Who can bring a charge against God's elect?" Who can bring a charge against God's people? If you're a follower of Christ, who can bring a charge against you?

"Who can bring a charge against God's elect? God is the one who justifies. Who is the one who condemns?" And then he begins to contemplate all of these possibilities. Verse 35: "What will separate us from the love of Christ?"

Christ's Love for Us, Not Our Love for Him

Now, it's really important to get this. It's not our love for Him that he's talking about. He's talking about Christ's love for us. That's a very important distinction.

We're confident of this thing: "that He who began a good work in you will continue it until the day of Christ Jesus." Our Christian life is not based on us hanging on to Him. It's not based on us hanging on because here's what's going to happen: If I'm hanging on to Him, I know what's going to happen. My arms are going to start to shake. I'm going to grow weary. I'm going to try to shake this one out and hold on with this one and then shake this one out and pretty soon I'm just going to poop out and I'm not going to get there.

The Christian life is not me hanging on to Him. It's Him hanging on to me. He's hanging on to me. There's nothing that can make Him let me go. He's got a hold of me. I can't get out of that relationship. Now, God makes it exciting sometimes because He takes me and goes around, and He likes to swing me around, do some exciting things. Sometimes it feels like He's going to let me go, but He grabs me right back again.

Nothing Can Separate Us

What will separate us? Do you see the question? What will separate us from the love of Christ? Romans 8:35: "Tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, peril, the sword." In all these things, verse 37, "We overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor heights, nor depths, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus."

That's why I can live confidently. That's why I can live boldly. Not because of me, but because of Him, and because of who I am in Him.

It's Not About You

It's not about you. It's not about your self-will. It's not about your determination. It's not about your discipline. It's not about your strength. You're going to fail.

But Paul's confident of this very thing: that He who began the good work in you, God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, the triune God who began that good work in you, who brought you to that point of salvation, that God-given salvation, that God does not grow weary, nor will He let you go. He's confident in this very thing that God will complete His work. Why? Because He started it. He continues it. He completes it. And nothing can separate us from the love that Christ has for us.

We know that if it could happen, it would, because life brings all those things. Life brings tribulation, and persecution, and distress, and famine, and nakedness, and peril, and aggravation, and hardship, and emotional difficulties. Isn't that just a picture of life? Haven't you had that? Some of you, even in the most recent of days, had those moments, those moments where you're saying, "I don't even know if I can keep going."

More Than "Hang in There"

And I need something way more. I can't stand that poster where it's got the picture of the cat hanging on a bar, and it says, "Just hang in there." I'm not much of a cat person. If you're a cat person, that's okay. But you know the poster I'm talking about? "Just hang in there?" What help is that? That is no help to me.

I'm over here sucking gas, and somebody walks by and says, "Hang in there." That doesn't do me any good. How? I'm trembling. I'm shaking. I've got all this going around my tummy. I need to be reminded of the truth. He began the work. He'll complete the work. It's His love for me. Nothing's going to break it.

when it appears that it could. Isn't that a great truth? So I can live confidently.

Here's what sets up our time today. All of that and an experience I had. I'm driving down the road one day, and I'm listening to Christian radio. It's a teaching time. And this guy is just babbling along. I don't even remember who it was. It's just on. It's just background. I'm not really listening.

And then all of a sudden, I hear him make a statement. And I thought, what? And fortunately, he repeated it. Here's what he said. The number one prohibition that Jesus gives us in His teaching. The number one thing that Jesus tells us not to do more than anything else. The number one prohibition that Jesus gives us in His teaching is, and some of you know it, don't you? Do not be afraid. Do not be afraid. Twice as often as anything else in terms of prohibition. Do not be afraid.

Why Jesus Says Don't Be Afraid

Well, why would Jesus say that? Two reasons. Number one, He knows we're frightful people. He knows we can be laying in a room and the lights are out, and all of a sudden, we hear a little noise. We look over. We're convinced Charles Manson's in the corner, and it's a shirt on a chair. We're frightful people.

We worry about stuff that never happens. We're so weak. Let's take money for example. We worry about getting it. Then we worry about keeping it. Then we worry about having enough. We are petrified when the stock market goes down, but we're just as scared when it goes up. We're afraid of everything.

So Jesus comes along, knows who we are, understands how we're made, understands how we're wired, and He says, don't be afraid. Why? Why twice as often as any other prohibition? Because He knows we're fearful people. So one reason He says don't be afraid is because He knows how we're wired.

Here's the second thing. Because a relationship with Him is the antidote to any fear. Don't be afraid, again, not because you're so strong, but because of who I am and a relationship with me. So we're going to spend some time there.

Let me just remind you, there's a healthy fear, and that's fear of the Lord, beginning of all wisdom. That's that reverential awe of Him. That's respectful awe. But we're talking about life. Don't be afraid.

What People Fear Most

I have, over the years, asked this question in many, many groups. I have had this experience dealing with all women's groups, all men's groups. I've done this exercise with business people. I've done it, I had a chance a few years ago. I used to teach pretty regularly on the PGA Tour with the players when they were in town, and we had a great time with them. But I was with the senior tour a few years ago, and in this room were sitting Gary Player and all these guys that were really icons to me.

And we went through this same process, what are you afraid of? And it was very interesting. I don't care who the group is, there's always the same answers. So I'm going to take that little experience and talk to you about those things that perhaps you're afraid of. And sometimes that question is too direct to say what are you afraid of? Sometimes it's intimidating, so we'll ask it another way. What do you think your friends are afraid of? It's the same thing.

Number one on the list beyond anything else when you get out into the world, the number one thing is death. People are afraid to die. That's why the mind gets so creative in trying to create and connive and come up with ways around it.

The Deception of Reincarnation

One third of the American population, 33% of the American population believes in reincarnation. I don't know, you may not know what reincarnation is. Let me define it for you. It's this. If at first you don't succeed, die, die again. Okay, that's what that means. If it didn't go around, you'll come back. If it didn't work well, you come back as a lower life form, something else.

There's a verse in scripture, you all may not be old enough, but there was a product called Schlitz beer. Remember Schlitz beer? Schlitz had this motto, you only go around once. Well, Hebrews 9:27 is the Schlitz beer verse. It says this, it's appointed to man once to die and then judgment. I don't go around again and again and again and if I'm better I come back as a higher life form, if I'm worse as a lower life form until ultimately I spin into this person of perfection.

I used to work for a guy who believed that. He's sitting down one day and God had just saved me and so I'm really getting into the scripture, into the reading and so I'm sitting with him one day and he's saying, I don't believe anything you believe and I don't believe that Bible is the word of God. I believe it's got some good stuff in there and the minute you start that the game's over because now you can say whatever you want to say. So he picks out the good stuff, throws away the bad stuff and he said, I believe in reincarnation.

I said, well help me out with that because I think I know what that means but what does that mean? He said, I believe that what happens is that we come back and then we die and then there's an ascent and assessment and then we come back as something else and we do this until we are perfect. I said, really? You believe that? Absolutely. And I said, let me ask you a question. Have you ever met one of these perfect people? No. I can tell you why. There aren't any. It's appointed a man once to die and then judgment.

Jesus Christ and Death

In this wonderful sermon that Peter is preaching that's recorded in Acts chapter 2 verse 24, Peter delivers this powerful sermon. How do I know it's powerful? Three thousand people are believing at the end of it. God uses it. It's powerful not because of what Peter said but how God used it.

Acts chapter 2 verse 24, he's talking about Jesus Christ who was attested to us by miracles and wonders that He performed among you, delivered up, verse 23, delivered up how? By the predetermined plan and foreknowledge of God. He's an on time God. Predetermined plan said that place, that time, that moment, His

schedule. Verse 24, but God raised Him up again. God raised up Jesus putting an end to the agony of death. Our number one fear as a country, culture, world is death. Jesus Christ rises from the dead and according to Peter that puts an end to the agony of death.

Now think with me for a second. Does he mean physical agony? Our church started in 1991 and I have no background, no training, no preparation, no anything. What never occurred to me at the time, all I wanted to do was just teach, really pastor more than teach. I'm not a theologian in a trained sense obviously, not a scholar, but I want to take the word, make it real, apply it to people's life. Perfect. It didn't occur to me that when you do church you got other obligations like kids and teenagers and weddings and deaths. I've never done a funeral. I don't know what to do.

This lady in our church gets very sick. She has a form of cancer. They've done everything they can, but they say to her, if you go down to the University of Arizona, there's this brand new chemotherapy that they're trying. So she went down there. They said, you don't have a chance. Do you want to try it? So she said, fine. Down she went.

They said they'd only seen it two or three times where the chemotherapy, and I've learned this from Susan's chemotherapy, that periodically if they don't hit the vein right or they don't get it right, that stuff will actually leak into the body. But this had so leaked into her body that she beamed. She was, I'm looking for something bright red. Like the red on that flag, she was bright red.

I would go to visit her, and what I could see happening was as she laid there, even with people around her, she became more and more isolated. Because you were afraid to, I would literally be afraid. I finally said, honey, is it okay for me to touch you? And she said, it'll hurt, but it will feel good. I think what she meant was, it'll hurt so much, but it'll be comforting to have somebody touch me. She endured this for several months and then died.

The Agony of Death Is Not Physical

Should I go into her and say, let me give you a little scripture? Let me give you this one. God raised Him up again, put an end to the agony of death. Suck it up. There is no agony. He's not talking about physical anguish, right?

During Nero's days on the throne, there were something like 25,000 Christians martyred every year. Today, there's something like 250,000 Christians martyred every year. When Jesus dies this death of crucifixion, the agony of that death is not just the physical part. There's a lot of guys, and sometimes people get all bent out of shape about this, but there's a lot of people who suffered physically more than He did.

Crucifixion, do you understand, was designed to actually let that person live as long as the torture wanted them to. That Jesus died in three hours, or roughly that time frame, that doesn't mean that that's what crucifixion was. People would hang on the cross literally for days. As you read through the history and the stories, there would be people who would be hanging there as the dogs ate their feet and the birds would pick out their eyes. When you came into Rome, there would be the Christians tied to poles and lit on fire, and they would become the streetlights.

Jesus rose from the dead to put an end to the uncertainty of death, not the physical agony.

Dying With Confidence

We had a guy in our church, he was a gruff old guy, came to Phoenix, tough family, came to Phoenix, and you've got to love this logic, he said, it's hot, I'll bet air conditioning will be good. Got in the air conditioning business and just had a very successful business. But a tough guy. You know men in that, he'd be about 80 now, a little more, tough, tough generation, tough guy. God saves him in all of that, actually before he even came out. I got to know him a little bit and he became a key guy in our church and just helping us strategize things.

He was very sick over a period of time and then finally he ended up in the Mayo Clinic and we would go and we'd visit him and then I got a call from his wife saying, listen, he's going to die. So, you know, if you want to see him, you ought to come out. So I went out and on that day, here's what he decided to do. Here's what the doctor said to him. This is a wonderful thing. The doctor said to him, the next time you go to sleep, you will not wake up because of the breathing and all because of you. How they know this stuff, I don't know. But he said, next time you go to sleep, you won't wake up.

Now this is a gruff old guy. What he wanted to do that day is he had kids and grandkids and he wanted to spend a few minutes with each one of them. I was fortunate enough to be in that line. I have never seen a face beam like his face was. He was not known for being a smiling guy. He could not wipe the smile off his face.

I used to say, Doc, how you doing? He'd say, you know what they told me, Tom? When I go to sleep, I'm not going to wake up. When I go to sleep, I won't wake up. I said, are you afraid? He said, not at all. He said, I'm so, I so am going to miss my wife. They've been married forever. My kids and my grandkids. But when I go to sleep, I'll be with Jesus. Isn't that an amazing thought?

Now here's what's interesting. It isn't just theory. You've been around people who are dying, I assume. You get those ones that don't know Christ. They, if you told them that I'm telling you, they would never go to sleep. They'd be afraid to go to sleep.

I called out the next morning. I said, how is it? He said, he stayed up all night. He's been awake all night, watching TV, listening to songs, smile in his face. Few hours that morning, he went to sleep. Just within minutes after that, he died. God put an end to the agony of death. How? He took us who were sinful and He forgave us of our sin and never compromised His righteousness. Again, Max Locato writes this, what a God.

ponder the achievement of God. He doesn't condone our sin, nor does He compromise His standard. He doesn't ignore our rebellion, nor does He relax His demands. Rather than dismiss our sin, He assumes our sin and incredibly sentences Himself. God's holiness is honored, our sin is punished, and we are redeemed. God does what we cannot do so that we can be what we dare not dream: perfect before God.

For those of us who are followers of Christ, if you're a Christian, this moment, this world right now is the closest to hell you're ever going to be. Now, let's flip that around because it gets scary on the other side. If you're not a Christian, this is as close to heaven as you're ever going to be.

Fear Number One: Death

Number one fear: death. Jesus says, "Do not be afraid." Why? Not because it isn't scary, not because it isn't intimidating. I want to really drive this home. If you're here and you'd say, "Well, what you're saying is fine, it's interesting. I don't buy it. I don't believe it. I don't accept it. I don't believe that. I think this or that or whatever happened." Your argument isn't with me. Your argument is with God's Word.

God says here to you, don't draw any comfort from these words. God said to you, you should be afraid because to be absent from the body for you is to be separated from the Lord forever.

Fear Number Two: Economic Insufficiency

Number one fear: death. Number two, here's what I wrote: economic insufficiency. I don't know many people who are worried about losing everything. There are some, but most of us aren't worried about losing everything. We're just worried about having enough.

Turn to Matthew chapter 6, would you please? Matthew chapter 6, Sermon on the Mount. Jesus is delivering this marvelous teaching, practical teaching. He is absolutely revolutionizing the thinking process of the leaders of the day. He's taking the Jewish leaders and He's saying things like this: "This is what was said, but this is what I say to you. This is what you've read, but this is the tradition. This is what they've been taught, but this is what I say to you."

Jesus' Teaching on Worry and Provision

Matthew chapter 6, verse 19: "Do not store up for yourself treasures on earth." Why? Well, because you'll lose them and they rust out. Thieves break in and they steal them.

Verse 24: "No one can serve two masters. You'll either hate one and love the other or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth." You cannot serve God and this world. You cannot serve the temporal and the eternal at the same time. Something trumps, something drives your mind.

"For this reason, I say to you, do not worry. Don't be worried about your life." In other words, don't be worried about what you're going to eat or drink or your body, what you'll put on it. "Is life not more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air. They don't sow, they don't reap, yet their heavenly Father feeds them. Aren't you worth much more than the birds?"

Now, at the risk of being in the Northwest and understanding that sometimes you think differently up here, just to answer this question: you are worth more than the birds. They're birds. You're a person. It's important to make that distinction sometimes.

"And who of you, by being worried, can add a single hour to his life? Why are you worried about your clothing? Observe the lilies of the field. They grow, they don't toil, they don't spin, yet I say to you, not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you?"

See there, you're not temporal. You're not like the grass. You're not here and gone. You're eternal.

The Heart of Our Worry

Verse 31: "Do not worry then, saying, 'What are we going to eat? What are we going to drink? What are we going to wear?'" I love the next phrase, verse 32: "For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things." Here's how a lost guy thinks: "What am I going to eat? What am I going to wear?"

Now I'm not saying that those aren't important. Hey, you've got to have something to eat. You've got to have a place to live. Every time I look at a group of people like you, I thank God for clothing. You've got to have something to wear. And vice versa, by the way. You've got to have something to eat. God's not saying those aren't important. Are they important? Sure they are.

But He's saying, "You know what, I'm going to take care of that." The problem is not that we're worried He's not going to take care of it. We're worried He's not going to take care of it by our standards. Where is He going to have us live? Is He going to put us in a little studio apartment with five of us in there? Or is He going to give us a mansion on a hill? What am I going to eat? Tube steak? Hot dogs? Or am I going to eat this wonderful steak? What am I going to wear?

That's our fear. And Jesus just beautifully says that the minute you start thinking like that, you're thinking like a lost guy.

The Solution: Seek First His Kingdom

So what's the solution? It's verse 33. Matthew chapter 6, verse 33: "Seek first" - and that means first and foremost, it's the primary thing - "seek first His kingdom, His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Here's what He's saying: lose yourself in obedience to God and the commands of God and somehow these things work themselves out.

This is not a license to be lazy. We had a guy in one of our studies who lost his job. He came in to the study. I said, "You don't look so good." He said, "I'm not so good." I said, "What's the problem?" He said, "I lost my job." I said, "Wow, that's a tough deal." He said, "Yes, it is." I said, "Well, we'll be thinking, praying as it comes to mind for it."

I see him a couple of weeks later. I said, "Hey, how's it going?" He said, "I'm trusting God." I said, "Well, me too. I'm trusting God." I see him about two weeks later. I said, "You got a job?" He said, "No, don't have a job yet. Trusting God." I said, "I think God will supply." I said, "I do too."

Are you doing here?" He said, "I'm not doing anything. I'm at home waiting for somebody to call the job." I said, "All right, here's the deal. I think God will supply and I trust Him to supply, and He may use something like a resume, an interview, an application. God does not say, just sit back." There is that sense in which I strive, yet I know my striving is in vain unless He blesses it.

Are there times when things just come together? Sure, there are times when all of a sudden the phone just rings. Weird stuff happens—weird by our economy, not by God's standard.

God's Provision in Unexpected Ways

We lost the place where we have our noon study. The study we do at noon is a big study—330, 340 business people. We had a gal, really interesting gal. I don't have any other phrase but a grinder. She was a grinder. She said, "Let me do a study." She produced for me, literally, a three-ring binder with all the possibilities of studies in central Phoenix, places to meet. Her final analysis was there's only one. There's only one place that will accommodate us within this cost this way.

I got her study. I went back to my office. The phone rang. It was the only possible solution. I didn't call them. They called me and said, "We heard you guys lost your study site. We'd like to offer our facility." I was able to take that whole report and throw it away right at that moment. How did that happen? I don't know. God, Internet. I don't know. Point is, He does that. He does that stuff. But I also know that if they hadn't called, I would have called them.

Seek first His kingdom. Seek first His kingdom. Lose yourself in obedience for Him. And then Matthew chapter 6, verse 34—this ought to be your screensaver. This ought to be that first thing you see all the time. "So do not worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." You don't need to create it. You don't need to make it up. He'll take care of you.

Don't Worry About Being Rejected

Number three. Now we get really personal. Rejection. Don't worry about being rejected.

Years ago, I was invited to speak to a junior high group. It was a Christian school in town. They asked me if I would come and speak to the junior high students. I said to them, "Not my target market." They said, "No, come. You'll be good." I said, "I don't think so." They said, "No, come. Just come and speak to them." I said, "All right."

I was having a real serious time getting ready for it and what to talk about. I had two different sets of parents get ahold of me in the days just prior to it. They said, "I heard you're going to talk to the junior high students." I said, "I am." They said, "Will you do me a favor? Will you talk about peer pressure?" I said, "Absolutely. That's what I'll do."

The Reality of Peer Pressure at Every Age

So I went in and I said to the junior high students, "I had several of your parents call me knowing I'm coming in here to speak. They asked me to speak to you about peer pressure. So I want to talk to you about the peer pressure your parents are under. Because it's really just the same. It just gets bigger."

I'm reading this book. I picked it up and I'm not sure why. I will put it down and I do know why. But in this, in the midst of this, he writes this about peer pressure: "Peer pressure takes full advantage of this need to be accepted. Under the influence of peer pressure, people will do things they would not do if they were alone, and in many cases, things they would not prefer to do at all, simply because they do not want to be excluded from a certain social circle. There is perhaps no greater example of our need to belong and our need to feel accepted."

When I'm talking to the junior high students, I'm talking about peer pressure. I'm saying, "There's a lot of pressure on you to have the right shoes, to have the right jeans, to have the right thing." That doesn't go away. Then it's to go to the right college. Then it's to get the right job. I know people all over who took jobs just because their calling card is going to have a prestigious name or a title on it.

The Endless Cycle of Seeking Approval

By the way, if you're living that way, let me help you out. Nobody cares. And not only do they not care if it's really a good job, they hate you for having it. No one cares. They don't care.

Now it's way more than shoes and shirts and school. Now it's to drive the right car, to live in the right house, to have the right floor plan, but in the right neighborhood. This never ends. If you care what people think, you're going to do stupid thing after stupid thing after stupid thing. You're going to spend money you don't have. I see this all the time.

Again, you don't have to follow this at all. It's just my own personal observation. I have friends who spend thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars and borrow money to send their kids to college, a certain kind of college. Stupid. They're putting second and third mortgages on their house because they want to be able to sit around the Christmas party and say, "My kid goes to Brown." Listen, he's going to graduate, get a degree and run a yogurt store somewhere. He could do that by going to Mesa Community College. There's no reason for this.

Pride: The Root of People-Pleasing

Here's the dirty little word: pride, pride. "He goes to UT, he goes to—he's a Duck, he's a Beaver." That's not exactly throwing fear into the world, by the way. "I'm a Duck, a Beaver." No one cares. Nobody cares. Why do we do that?

That's a deal I made. I got a lot of criticism from my friends. The deal I made with my kids was, "Here's the deal, I'll give you as much money as it takes to go to ASU. You want to go somewhere else? You're on your own. I'm not going to debt so you can go to some school. It's not going to happen."

Rejection. Fear of rejection. I can't imagine a rejection more personal—

than a divorce. Here's that person that you've been literally physically naked with. You've exposed yourself as much as you possibly can. And to have that person say, "I don't love you anymore. I don't want to be with you anymore."

Here's what I know. Every person you ever meet will eventually disappoint you. This stuns me, but apparently it's true. I've disappointed Susan. I don't know, but that's what I hear. Frequently, I hear that.

Here's the deal. This is really important. Everything I've ever done, every word I've ever spoken, every thought I've ever had - I've done some really awful things in my life. I lived 30 years without Christ, and I lived it to the hilt. But if I shared with you some of the things I thought about doing, I did demonstrate a certain level of restraint. Here's the deal. Everything I did, everything I said, everything I thought, God knows them all, and He said, "You know what, Tom, you're my boy anyway."

So it's not like He's developing or evolving. He knows everything. He's accepted you anyway. You're going to have people and places and clubs and things that are going to reject you, but God will never reject you.

The Reality of Loneliness

Number four, and it's kind of the sister thought of this: loneliness. Rejection, loneliness. Where am I going to go to get away from the love of Christ? I can't be separated from Him. I can't get away from Him.

Deuteronomy chapter 31 verse 8: "The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you. He'll be with you. He will not fail you. He'll not forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed."

You can be lonely sitting in a room like this. I did a study one day. I used to teach down in Tucson. All men, and again, another big 300 to 400 men study every Wednesday morning. I'm walking in, and as I walk in, there's a guy sitting on the aisle on the left-hand side right by the door. He said, "Hey, man, it's good to see you today." This is exactly what he did. "Hey, man, good to see you today."

I just walked down. I was running a little bit late, so I was getting everything together. Usually what I try to do, which you've certainly figured out, I don't script these things. I don't read them to you. I've got some thoughts and some notes, and I work hard to get them to this form, but I don't script them. I try to make the first sentence work. That's my goal. So I baby-step my way to a good talk.

I'm down, and I'm gathering my thoughts. It's been a hard day, and it's early in the morning. I leave at 3. All this stuff. I'm trying to gather my thoughts. I look down, and I see this pair of shoes. I look up. It's this guy that I had tapped on the way in. He's standing there, and tears are pouring down his cheeks, and he's saying to me, "I needed that so badly. I'm so alone."

The Epidemic of Isolation

There's a book written years ago titled "The Friendless American Male." And what I've discovered is, through just a lot of effort, is that men and women are now sharing problems pretty much equally. You've come a long way, baby. And we could change the title, and here it is. Now it's "The Friendless American." We don't need to say male anymore.

Lots of gals now, because of joining us in the workforce and all this stuff - I'm not making any judgment on that. I'm just saying here's what it is. Now there's equality in a lot of ways, including suffering.

I'm convinced of one thing. The only reason women live longer than men - this isn't a joke, by the way. The only reason women live longer than men, I absolutely know the reason. They go to the doctor more. That's all. Guys aren't going to go to the doctor. "Hey, that left arm's falling off." "I know." "You need to get it checked out someday." He ain't going to go. It ain't going to happen. And the only reason women live longer, I think - obviously God ordains and all that, but all that goes well, I think - is because they go to the doctor all the time.

So with female problems, I never quite understood all of that. I did something - we digress here for just one second. Susan shakes her head, because whenever I digress, there's a problem. But I did this. I go to the bookstore. Susan and I go to the bookstore a lot. I'll spend a couple, two, three, four hours, five hours in there if I can a week.

I finally overcame my hesitancy to go to the women's section. I was always intimidated by that. But I did a talk a couple of years ago on women and what women need and all this, which obviously makes a lot of ladies laugh. But I did a lot of reading in there, and I just had never been in this women's area before. You have a lot of issues. I mean, I just didn't. There's a lot of stuff in there. I thought, "Wow. There's a lot of stuff in there that you deal with." And so not being bright, it helps us get through it.

The Desperate Search for Connection

But loneliness. You need a friend. I mentioned it last night about a mentor. There's rarely a week goes by that somebody doesn't say, "Will you be my friend?" And I have to say to them, "No, I won't. I don't have time to be your friend. I can email you back maybe a sentence or two, but I can't be your friend."

Imagine how difficult life is like that. You're coming up to somebody you don't even know and saying, "Will you be my friend?" And that's really true down where we are. I don't know what it's like up here.

But down there, every community, the newer ones are gated. When I was a kid, you used to be able to get in my backyard and run from one end of the block to the other. There was one fence. Now everywhere we live is blocked and gated. Everybody's playing their cards close to the vest. Most relationships are based around business where I'm never going to let you see the flaw that's there because you'll take advantage of it. You may be my coworker today, but you could be my competitor tomorrow.

Never leave you or forsake you. Number five, just a couple more. Suffering.

I'm afraid of suffering. Now you know as we've looked ahead that we're going to spend an entire session on suffering, so I'm not going to spend a ton of time on this. But in this life, there's suffering. There's hardship. There's difficulty. I can't always explain it.

But I do know this, that everything that comes into my life comes for a reason. And everything that comes into my life is either caused by or allowed by God. If that's not true, He's not God.

Everything Happens for a Reason

I'm watching Oprah the other day, and Oprah makes this statement. Oprah has some weird shows, but then Oprah does some interesting stuff. And to understand that she is one of the most influential people in the country is really important. You better understand what this chick's thinking.

So Oprah said, they're talking about something, and somebody's got hardship, and somebody died, or whatever the circumstance was. And here's what Oprah said. And I've heard her say it a billion times. I bet you have too. "I believe everything happens for a reason." That's what she said.

Really? That's what you believe? Because if everything's happened for a reason, all of a sudden there's no chance of randomness anymore. Everything happens for a reason, Oprah? Everything happens for a reason? Then something must be coordinating these things. If everything happens for a reason, then chance is gone. Randomness is gone. This idea of things just morphing or evolving without a creator, they're just gone if it happened for a reason.

Now I happen to believe that Oprah there has stumbled into truth. Everything does happen for a reason. But once that's on the table, and you'll hear that all the time. I'm telling you, I watch enough television and enough stuff that it's contact with the world that I'll hear this from people that I know are not Christians. But they're trying to grab at something to give them comfort and they'll say, "I know everything happens for a reason. I believe everything happens for a reason."

And I love those moments, not in a harsh way at all, but to nurture them and say, so do I. And if you'll think with me, that means there has to be something like a God. Otherwise there's this chance. Here you go, nothing. Jonathan Edwards says, "Nothing is what a rock dreams about when it sleeps." Nothing. Well, nothing can't be something. I mean, I don't want to get all philosophical here. I'm not even capable of going much deeper than this. But do you see the obvious nature of it? If everything happens for a reason, then chance is gone. Randomness is gone. There has to be a reason. And what we know is the scripture tells us it's God.

Joseph's Story Demonstrates God's Sovereignty

We're not going to turn there because time's away from us. But here's Joseph. Joseph, his brothers hate him. His dad facilitates that hate really. His dad gives him this coat of many colors.

And let me tell you about the coat. The problem with the coat was not the coat of many colors. It was a long sleeve, full length coat. That was the problem. In that day and age, the coat or the tunic would have been short sleeve and short because these guys are going to work. You don't put on a long sleeve, long tunic to go to work.

So the minute Joseph struts out looking pretty sharp in this new multicolored coat, the boys are going, "There's a problem here. Daddy doesn't expect him to work." And Genesis 37 says they hated him. They saw that their father loved him more than them and they hated him. It's time now to kill him.

And one of the boys, this is one of my favorite things. One of the boys says, "We could never kill him. He's our own flesh and blood. Let's sell him into slavery." We could never, he's our brother. Joseph ends up in the dungeon. And in Genesis chapter 39, four times, God's word says, "The Lord was with Joseph. The Lord was with Joseph." Then he goes deeper in the dungeon at the end of the chapter and the chief jailer is now in the bowels of the dungeon. "The Lord was with Joseph. The Lord was with Joseph."

We may be sitting here going, "Where's God and all this?" Well, He's right there with Joseph. Where was God on September 11th? Same place He was on September 10th, right there on the throne. And everything that happens is either caused by or allowed by God.

And we can start, any question then that starts with the "why," we're in trouble at that point. But I know this, we look around and go, "Things are out of control." Well, not really. Things are beyond our control. But they're not out of God's control.

Fear of Failure: The Story of Mark

Two more, fear of failure. It's a wonderful scene at the end of Paul's life. He writes to Timothy in 2 Timothy chapter 4. He's at the end of his life. He senses his death is imminent. He says in verse 9, "Make every effort to come to me soon."

And you can do a whole message, by the way, on 2 Timothy 4:7, "for Demas, having loved this present world, has deserted me." That's interesting. What do you love, this present world? Verse 11, "Only Luke is with me. Pick up Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for service."

Now, if I just read that through, I don't think much. But if I have a little context, that becomes important. Mark was the guy who was with Paul and Barnabas on their first missionary journey. Mark was there for a period of time and then blew out. Barnabas and Paul are ready for the second missionary journey. And Barnabas says, "I'd like to take Mark with me." And Paul said, "You're talking about the Mark that blew out on the first time? I don't believe so. This is tough work for real men. We don't have time for this."

And these two giants of the faith split over this. There is no reason to believe that Paul considered Mark anything really but a loser, certainly a failure. Yet at the end of his life, he writes those words. "Pick up Mark, bring him with you. He is useful to me."

Here's a key thing. Grab this, write this down, don't forget

Failure is never fatal. We all fail. That's not the end. Thomas Aquinas said, if the captain's main concern was the safety of the ship, he would never take it out of the harbor. In fact, I've been prone to people who failed because you learn in that.

We have two daughters, Sarah and Haley. Sarah the oldest, Haley second. Sarah, a lot of life was just easy for her. She just kind of cruised. Go out for student council, get elected. Go out for volleyball, get picked. Go out for cheerleading, get made. She was pretty smart. She got into a field, a nuclear medicine field. I'm talking to her one day. I said, what are you going to do tomorrow? She said, I'm going to take my state boards. And I said, are you going to study for it? She said, I'm going to try to pass them without studying. And so she passed them. I mean, that's just like her.

Haley had to work a little bit harder at those things. Went out for student council, didn't get elected. Went out for volleyball, didn't get picked. Went out for basketball, didn't get picked. It didn't matter to her because there was only one thing in these girls' lives that mattered, and that was cheer. Sarah, a little more athletic than Haley. Sarah, working and working and working with Haley because cheer is coming.

It's seventh grade cheer team. They used to go out for cheer on Friday and announce it on Monday, which is silly and agonizing to put kids through this for a weekend. They now have tryouts at 3 o'clock. They announce the team at 5.

The Power of Persevering Through Failure

I'm on my way to go speak for World Vision over on the Queen Mary. We swing by to pick up Haley. We did not have to ask, did you make the team? And you know how some kids pout. She's just sitting and she's sitting behind me. I can look right out my rear view mirror and see her face. Here's the way I would describe it. She's so hurt, not angry, not throwing stuff around.

I got over there and I'm working and I'm going through this stuff and I call Susan. I said, how's Haley? And she said, she's in her room. She's just so hurt. And I want to emphasize to you, not pouting, not that angry stuff.

About six months later, I'm sitting in my office and Haley comes in and she said, dad, I need you to sign this. I said, okay, what is it? She said, it's a release form. I said, a release form for what? She said, I'm going out for cheer. I said, hey, I'm barely over the last one. I can't handle it, honey. I can't handle it. It's just too much. It's too tough on me. I can't handle it. Here's what she said. Dad, I can't make the team if I don't go out. This is a great lesson. And she said, dad, that's the kind of stuff you teach. That's the kind of stuff you've taught me. I have to go back out for the team.

Now I've learned over the years, I typically go on, but then I have a line of women who want to know what happened to the end of that story. So she ended up making the team. It was really interesting. And then her senior, her high school team, she went to a small Christian school, or it would have never happened, but she was a varsity cheerleader her freshman, sophomore, junior year. Junior year, they won the state cheerleading competition. And she said, that's enough. She retired like Michael Jordan at the top of her game.

The Greatest Failure: Doing Nothing

When I'm afraid to fail, here's the problem. When I'm afraid to fail, I make the greatest mistake of all, and the ultimate failure, and that's to do nothing. I love that question. What would you attempt for God if you knew you couldn't fail? Take failure out of the equation.

I was sitting one day with Paul Westfall, and we're doing an interview, and we're talking about John Havlicek. And I said, Havlicek wanted the ball at the end of the game because he thought he could make the shot. And Paul said, no. Havlicek wanted the ball at the end of the game because he wasn't afraid to miss the shot. And I just read an article the other day talking about a football player, and it was the same thing. I don't know if I'm going to get it or not, but I'll tell you what, I'm not afraid to not get it, to live boldly.

Our Deepest Fear: Insignificance

And here's the last thing. I think we're afraid, though we can't always speak it out loud, of insignificance. It's funny, in all my, what are you afraid of? I've never had anybody get this except one time at ASU. We're in a big room, like a classroom, like a science room. And these kids are coming in, and it's my night to teach over there. And the kids are coming in, and there's one kid, I'd never seen this kid before. And he had all the stereotypical stuff. He's all got the right clothes, he's got the tattoos going, he looks like he fell in a tackle box. He's got stuff hanging all over him.

So he gets up to the top, and I said, what are you afraid of? And they go, death, rejection, loneliness. And he's really cool. So I said, yeah. I said, what? Insignificance. I said, man, I've never had anybody get that. He said, I don't want to go through this whole world and not make a difference. That's pretty cool. I think we're afraid of insignificance.

The Only Significant Organization

Well, let me net this out for you. The only significant organization on the planet or the earth is the body of Christ. What God ultimately cares about is His Word, His people, and lost people. All this other stuff is going to fade away. All this other stuff isn't going to matter. You want to be significant? You need to climb on board with the most significant organization in the planet, the body of Christ.

I want to be significant. I have this fantasy that at my memorial service, they'll gather around and say, what are we going to do? He's gone. Let's get three people to do His work. We were talking about it last night at dinner. We were talking about when Mrs. McNeil ultimately died. Who's going to take this over? And here comes her daughter.

Here comes another guy. Here comes Jeff. You know what? God's got this baby figured out. And I'm telling you, grab this and then we'll go.

Here's the deal. You're not really going to be known by many people. If you go down here today, go down to Dugars and interview people as they go to lunch, you're going to go, "Hey, do you know Chuck Swindoll?" They're going to go, "No." And what blows me away every time I buy a Swindoll book, what's the most impressive thing about a Swindoll book? When you open that thing, there's this list of all these books he's written. I can't even write the list. He's written all these books.

They're going to forget you. But you can have significance in God's economy, not man's. They're out of monument space in Washington to you. They aren't building statues in Salem and Portland anymore. The kids are going to gather around at Thanksgiving and go, "Yeah, mom and dad. Remember them? Pass the potatoes. You got any gravy? What kind of gravy you got?" That's just the way it is.

So if I'm going to be significant, it better be in dealing with God's word, His people, or lost people. Amen?

Let's pray. Father, thank You for this truth. Thank You for the word. God, let us live life boldly and confidently because of who You are. We pray as we take this afternoon, enjoy this time, free time of lunch this afternoon, we pray for safety and fun, that You would use this time in our word to enhance our lives, that as we leave this place, we would have Your fingerprints all over us. God, we pray that to You in Jesus' name. Amen.