Leaving a Legacy

Tom Shrader teaches that every person is already leaving a legacy whether they intend to or not, since influence is inevitable for anyone in relationship with others. Drawing from Galatians 6, Deuteronomy 6, Romans 13, and 2 Corinthians 4, he outlines five principles descendants truly need: an understanding of consequence, respect for God-ordained authority, awareness of their opportunity to impact others, commitment to doing what is right regardless of cost, and a reverent, accurate view of God. He closes by identifying four common obstacles that prevent people from passing these things on, urging listeners to triage their priorities and fix their eyes on the eternal rather than the urgent.

“You right now are leaving a legacy whether you realize it or not. This isn't optional behavior. This isn't mandatory behavior. This is just inevitable behavior.”

— Tom Shrader

Series: Standalone Teachings

Recorded: 2001 at East Valley Bible Church

Duration: 42 min

Themes: legacy, parenting, influence, priorities, consequences, authority, doing what is right, eternal perspective, parent, grandparent, mentor, reflecting on life choices, raising children, empty nester, midlife reflection, passing on faith to children

Scripture: Galatians 6:7-8, Galatians 5:19-23, Romans 13:1, Matthew 28:19-20, Hebrews 12:2, 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, 2 Corinthians 11, Deuteronomy 6:4-7, 1 Timothy 2:4

Theological Themes: sanctification, biblical stewardship, imago dei, moral formation, scripture and life, fear of the lord, discipleship, divine authority

Full Transcript

Leaving a Legacy

Next Sunday, I will talk about our annual review — asking the question, what kind of year was 2001? The following week, we will talk about how to make 2002 the greatest year of your life. Today, I get to talk about whatever I want. The last Sunday of December is always like that. You may think it is every Sunday like that, but that is simply not true. Every other week I am in bondage and anchored to a text. Not so today.

It is interesting. I think it was last year, for my birthday and for Christmas, Susan cleaned my office. It was a magnificent, terrific gift. The scope of that project was huge — we hauled out six garbage pails, just huge baskets, six of them, and it did not even make a dent in what she did. She spent weeks in there. This year for my birthday she gave me a desk. So now I have a clean office and a desk, and I have something I really have not had for a while: a place to hide, a place to go. I would bet I have probably read more in the last month than I did in the previous eleven months of the year. It is also a place to think, and I put great value on thinking — on contemplating life, what it means, what the challenges and rewards are.

I will be very honest with you. In the last few weeks my thoughts have been absorbed with the girls, especially with Haley. Haley is engaged. A wedding date is now set for June 28th, and it has me thinking about all sorts of things — their life, my life with them. I saw Tom Blevins the other day with his four girls, and I started to go up and say something to him that I knew he would have thought was trivial, something that would not have had much impact simply because you hear it all the time. But it is absolutely true: you have no idea where the time has gone. I have so many things I look back on that were great, but so many things I would love to do over. That is not going to happen.

What Is a Legacy?

So here is what I want to talk about today: leaving a legacy. It was initially prompted by processing the fact that Haley is abandoning our family. I breathe deeply just thinking that. When I say the word "legacy," what does it mean to you? What comes to mind through word association? Here is what Webster says. Legacy: money or property left to someone by will; anything handed down from, or as from, an ancestor. The first part of that — money or property left by will — sounds more like an inheritance to me, but he uses that definition. So a legacy involves conveying ownership of money, property, land, or some tangible asset, or anything passed from one generation or one person to the next.

Webster uses the word "ancestor," which means a legacy is something — anything — passed on to your descendants. Maybe it is property or land. It could be advice. It could be a life. It could be an example. Anything I pass on to the people who come after me. That raises a couple of questions.

Who Are Your Descendants?

The first question is this: who are my descendants? Obviously I would think of Sarah and Haley, but the term is broader than that. Anyone in my sphere of influence can be a descendant. It could be friends. It could be people in my small group or people at work. It could be guys I work out with, or women you play bridge with. Anyone that God brings into your life is potentially a descendant, and you will leave to them a legacy. It is unlikely to be money and property. It may be something else entirely.

That raises a second question: what do your descendants really need? Not what do they think they need — what do they really need from you? That is what we are going to talk about today. Often when someone comes in wanting to meet and talk about what is going on in their life, we do what I call reparenting. By that I mean one of two things is typically taking place. Either we are communicating to them what their parents should have told them and never did, or — and this is the case in my own life — their parents were telling them exactly this, but they just would not listen. That was me. My parents were there telling me this stuff. I just did not have ears to hear and did not want to listen.

Legacy Is Inevitable

So who are your descendants? They are everyone in your life, and obviously some will have a deeper relationship with you than others. What do they need? That is what we are going to discuss. Here is something really important that you need to understand: this whole idea of leaving a legacy is not optional, and it is not mandatory. It is inevitable. You are right now leaving a legacy whether you realize it or not.

If you pull out onto Elliot this morning and get hit by a truck and die, and we come together here on Thursday — you have a legacy. The people who gather will share in your legacy. You may have never deliberately said, "I am going to teach a lesson," but they are part of your legacy nonetheless. Consider Monica Lewinsky. Monica Lewinsky has a legacy. Whether she likes it or not, that is her legacy. Consider the passengers on a plane flying from Boston to Los Angeles — just minding their own business, nothing special about the day. All of a sudden the plane is hijacked, and once they understand what is happening, they commandeer the plane and drive it into the ground. In a sense, they are heroes, and a legacy is left. This is not optional behavior. This is not mandatory behavior. It is simply inevitable behavior. You are imparting a legacy on your descendants — on the people in your sphere of influence.

What Your Descendants Really Need

So the question we will examine is this: what do these descendants really need from you? I have five or six things. The list is not all-inclusive — there are things I would have loved to include that we simply will not get to — but this will at least get you thinking. Here is the first one: the principle of consequence.

Life Is a Film, Not a Photograph

The decisions you make today will affect tomorrow. Life carries with it this whole idea of cause and effect. Since our girls were old enough to listen, I tried to communicate to them that life is not a photograph, but a film. Here is what I mean. Haley shot some pictures on her trip recently — there is a picture at Denver, a picture at Breckenridge, a picture at Boulder, a picture at Tyler's house, a picture out shopping, a picture by the lake. They are random. Each picture is totally independent from the next.

But in a film, the frame you are looking at is intricately involved with the frame before it and the frame after it. That is how we need to see life — that what I do today sets into motion a whole series of events that, unless something intervenes, will be carried to their natural consequence. I remember the first time I walked into someone's office and saw one of those pendulum ball devices, where the balls hang on strings and when you pull one back and release it, it swings and passes its energy all the way through and kicks out on the other side and comes back. That starts a reaction, and the law of physics kicks in, and unless something intervenes radically or the energy is finally dissipated, that begins a whole series of cause and effect. That is your life.

If you could take a young person and help them see, at twelve or thirteen years old, that the decision in front of them — one that does not look so consequential, that seems pretty insignificant — actually carries real ramifications all through their life. It looks like just a bunch of kids at a house trying a little crack. It does not seem like a big thing. But the consequences ripple forward.

A Story of Consequence

Let me read to you a story from the newspapers about a group of kids who embarked on what was probably a pretty normal day in Southern California. It was a day at the beach. These kids got together, decided to go have some fun, and a central part of that fun was going to be drinking beer. So they stopped, got some beers, and spent the day at the beach — drinking, playing Frisbee, doing the things you do at the beach.

One of the kids had a video camera, so he captured the whole day on film. Now they are driving home. The guy behind the wheel is liquored up from drinking beer all day, and his friend is still videotaping — filming him driving, filming out the front of the car. In the distance over the sidewalk you can make out a figure. As the car gets closer, you see it is a woman with a carriage, walking with another baby. You see the car carry up onto the sidewalk. The mother and the two children — hit by the car. Dead.

There was a trial. The jury found the young man guilty. The judge apologized for the strictness of the sentence, which was ten years. Here is what the newspaper article said: "His family and friends began crying hysterically and hugging each other across three rows of the Westminster courtroom. The defendant appeared stunned by the decision. 'Danny's not a criminal. He doesn't deserve jail. He's not a criminal. He never has been. We're shocked,' his sister said, who felt state prison was too harsh for her brother. 'It's very appalling that the judge did not consider housing him in a more humane place. He's not a criminal.'"

Let me help you out here. When you put a car on the sidewalk and kill people, that makes you a criminal. What is he, if not a criminal? But in our world, there is always a victim and never a villain. He is a killer. He did not use a gun, did not use a knife — he used a car and acted irresponsibly. I would bet that somewhere along the way, this kid sat through some program at school, some "just say no" initiative, where somebody told him that if you drink, get drunk, drive, and kill people, bad things are going to happen. But that truth is never really about me, is it — until it is.

The Law of Sowing and Reaping

If we can learn the principle of consequence — that what I do today affects tomorrow — here is how God speaks to it in His Word. Galatians 6, through the pen of the apostle Paul and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit: "Don't be deceived. God is not mocked. Whatever a man sows, this he reaps. For the one who sows to his own flesh shall from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit shall from the Spirit reap eternal life."

God uses here an agricultural metaphor, and it is really simple. If I plant corn, I reap corn. If I plant beans, I harvest beans. I do not plant beans and get potatoes. If I live for the flesh, I am going to get the corruption of the flesh. If I live under the inspiration, guidance, and obedience of the Holy Spirit, then the fruit of the Spirit will be evident in my life.

Is that not what Paul says right before this passage, in Galatians 5? Paul is talking about living by the flesh or living by the Spirit. He says that if you live by the flesh, the deeds of the flesh are evident: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissension, factions, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these.

When we talk about being led by the Spirit, we are not talking about some mystical, experiential thing. Being led by the Spirit means having the Spirit working in my life. It means the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. If I live and yield to the flesh, I will produce the fruit of the flesh. If I live and yield to the Spirit, I will produce the fruit of the Spirit.

Respecting Authority, Not Just the Person

Life will be characterized by the fruit of the Spirit. It is a principle of nature. It is a principle of God's supernatural laws.

Here is the next thing — and if you could pass this on to your descendants, it would be invaluable. Respect the position, not just the person. It is a principle of authority. I remember hearing this often during Watergate. People would say, "I don't like Nixon as a person, but I respect the position." We have gotten to a point where we respect neither the position nor the person.

When I was in college, there was a bumper sticker everywhere. Two words. A white bumper sticker with big, bold black letters that said: "Question Authority." That was all it said. The idea behind it was that whoever holds a position of authority is lying, is a crook, is out to abuse you and take advantage of you. So you question everything. I was of the generation that said you can't trust anybody over 40. Now that I am over 40, I understand we were right — but still, "Question Authority."

I am not talking about not thinking. I am talking about the premise upon which I build my relationships. Am I always suspicious? You cannot run a family that way. You cannot run a business that way.

God's Chain of Command

God put in place a chain of command. He has one in the government. He has one in the home. He has one in the workplace. And He has one in the church.

Let's talk about the government. Here is what Paul writes in Romans chapter 13, verse 1: "Let every person be in subjection to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God." What he is saying is this: citizens, submit to your government, because it is established by God.

It is funny to watch Christians right now. They are saying, "God intervened in that election. God knew September 11th was coming, and He intervened. God got down to Florida and confused those people — they didn't know which hole to punch. They can keep ten bingo cards straight, but at that moment they were bewildered. God confused them, shook things up, and put George W. Bush in office because He knew what was coming." Put me down for yes — I agree. But do you understand that these same people, for eight years prior, were asking, "Where is God now? We have Bill Clinton." God brought Bill Clinton to office too. We do not always say it that way, but either way, we see the same principle at work.

So I respect that position. Parents especially, if you breed into your children a constant questioning of authority, I guarantee you will raise a child who will continually have problems in relationships at work, in relationships at home, and who will be antagonistic toward government. April 15th is coming up. Here is what you do: you pay the tax. Do I think taxes are too high? Yes. Do I think they waste money? I am sure they do. Do I think they fund things you are morally against? Absolutely. What do you do? You pay the tax. Here is the key principle: if I am in rebellion against my government, I am in rebellion against my God, because God placed that government there.

Authority in the Family

Now let's narrow the focus to the family. God has a chain of command there as well. It goes like this: wives submit to husbands, husbands love your wives, children obey your parents, fathers do not provoke your children to anger.

Ladies, let's talk about submission. "Wives, submit to your husband." Do you know what that means in the Greek? It means wives submit to your husband. Line up under him. He is in charge. And here is the same principle as with the government: when you do not submit to your husband, your problem is a spiritual problem, because you are rebelling against God. That is the man God gave you. There are 3.5 billion options in the sea, and this is the one you picked. He is yours.

Someone was asking me the other day whether I thought Haley and Tyler were made for each other. I said I do not know that, but I know this — they look to me like they go together. Is Tyler the man God has for her? Well, here is how we will know: we will stand here on June 28th at about 7:45 in the evening, and when I say, "Haley, do you take Tyler to be your husband?" and she says, "I do" — at that moment, that is God's man for her. And the instruction to her, which I made very clear, is that she submits. If she is seeking advice on something and she gets my advice and she gets Tyler's advice, I guarantee you that unless it contradicts Scripture, Tyler is right and I am wrong, because that is the relationship she is in.

Husbands, love your wives. The same principle applies. There are 3.5 billion options, and this is the one you chose. I do not care whether she responds the way you want. I do not care whether she wears flannel shorts to bed. I do not care whether you eat out every day. You are supposed to love her. Why? Because when you do not love her, you are not loving God. And children, obey your parents — because those are the parents God gave you. This is how the chain of command works.

Living the Principle of Authority

Here is a practical lesson on the principle of authority. Someone anonymously reported us to the fire marshal about the chairs on the side — a disgruntled individual who chose, of their own volition, to make that call. So here is what we did, and we are trying to model this principle in how we responded. There are no seats along the side now.

The Principle of Opportunity

You have the potential to impact people for generations. Think for a second of three people who have impacted your life, touched your life. For me, going beyond family, one that may be equally obvious is Larry Wright. The week of Larry's death was very hard. The next week was a little easier. The last three weeks have been very hard for me.

I miss Larry very, very much. I have so many things I want to run by him, and I don't have that anymore. I don't have that wisdom he brought. But what I found myself doing is realizing how grateful I am that God gave me a chance to even know a Larry Wright and have somebody like that in my life, because a lot of people never have that.

Let me give you another person who influenced my life: Miss Julie. She was my kindergarten teacher. One incident in particular stands out. We were sitting in class one day, coloring — two kids playing in the snow — and I had handed mine in along with everybody else.

Miss Julie held up a paper for the class and said, "Whose paper is this?" I looked up and thought, for the first time in my young life, I'm going to get public affirmation. My self-esteem is going to be raised. This is going to be terrific. So I said, "Well, that would be mine." She said, "And your name is?" I said, "Tom."

"Everybody look up here. This is what Tom colored. See this? This boy has on a red snowsuit and Tom has colored him in red and then put orange mittens on him. Don't you ever, ever, ever put red and orange together. Ever." That was 47 years ago. And Miss Julie is dead and in hell by now. I can't wait to say, "Well, there she is — right next to the boy with the red sweater and the girl with the orange coat."

It's not like it bothers me. But I mean this: I could walk you into that room and put you in the little chair I was in. I can remember exactly where I was. Isn't that amazing? That is the power you have over people.

You Are That Person in Someone's Life

I think of those Larry Wrights, but it can go the other way as well. Here is my question: do you understand that you are that person right now in somebody's life? It can't only be me — I'm just average. But do you understand that if you are average, and let's say there are 100 people in this room and you are 50th, there are 49 people waiting for you to teach them something so they can climb up just to be average?

You want to impact generations? There is no greater impact than this, from Matthew 28: "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teach them." Evangelism may end at conversion, but our relationship never does. We move into equipping, and we do this because the Lord is with us always, even at the end of the age.

The Principle of Duty

Do what is right, regardless of the cost. Here is a statement of purpose that, in my day, was just kind of accepted. Let me read it to you: "On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to God and to my country and to obey the Scout Law, to help other people at all times, to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight." There is apparently a lawsuit waiting to happen over something as controversial as this.

We have all sorts of debates over what is right. But if the Bible says do it, it is right. If the Bible says avoid it, it is wrong. And then I apply principles and use something called common sense. Do what is right.

Now, what is right often has a cost to it. That is why we add: no matter the cost. You do not live in a society that necessarily rewards what is right. I talk to many men who tell me their boss is not concerned about what is ethical or even what is legal — only whether you can get the order and whether you are going to get caught. Right simply does not matter to them.

Some of you — and I know this — have been passed over for jobs because you do what is right. It may cost you relationships. It may cost you friends. And it does not always feel right. So here is what we say: do what is right because it is right, until it feels right, until it becomes a habit.

Get to the point in your life where, when there is a decision to make, you just do what is right — just like that. There is not even a cautious process where you have to think and analyze and interpret and evaluate. You just do what is right because it is right, until it feels right. And pretty soon, that becomes the reflex. That becomes the norm.

Fixing Your Eyes on Jesus

Now, if doing right comes at a cost, you need some motivation. Here is what the author of Hebrews wrote: "Fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith" — that is, He is the originator and the

The Joy of Being in God's Will

He is the completer of our faith. So we look at Him. We fix our eyes on Him. We put our gaze on Him. We think about Him, and we focus on Him. He becomes, in a sense, our model — One who endured the cross with joy, bearing all the shame and all the pain. What was the joy of the cross? He was in the midst of physical, agonizing suffering, and beyond that, He was at that moment becoming the very thing He hates. He hates sin. He became sin. He who knew no sin became sin, so that we would have eternal life.

What is the joy? Here is the joy — and it is the same joy that is available to you. He was right in the middle of God's will. The night before He died, what did He say? "Father, not my will, but Your will be done." If you want joy in your life, I am not saying smooth sailing. I am not saying circumstances that are absolutely like glass.

Consider Paul and Silas in a Philippian jail. They had been beaten. There is singing. There is joy. Why? They were absolutely certain that they were right where God wanted them to be. I know that tough decisions come at a cost, but do the right thing. There is no right way to do the wrong thing.

This has all sorts of applications. To those of you in business, do not cheat. To those of you in marriage, be faithful. To those of you raising kids, do not be involved in sex, do not be involved in drugs. But it is beyond the things you do not do — it is also about doing the right things, even when they come at a cost.

The Principle of Significance

Understand that some things are more important than other things. Not everything that comes into your life is of equal importance. This is, to me, an extraordinarily valuable commodity. In essence, what we are saying is: triage your life.

I was reading something a while ago about a Civil War hospital. They would bring wounded soldiers in, and there was always someone at the door who would greet them and immediately evaluate each case. He might look at one soldier and say, "Put him over there." Someone would protest, "But wait — all the doctors are over here." And he would say, "No, put him over there. There is nothing we can do. This man is going to die. We are not going to spend any time, energy, effort, or money on him. We cannot save him." Because there was a line stretching all the way to the back door, and they could only work on the ones they could save.

So they would gather together the ones they believed could be saved, and then evaluate their urgency. Can we set this man's broken arm in a couple of hours? Does this wound need to be cleaned and treated right now? You have to triage your life. All this material is coming at you constantly. There are people calling all the time, always looking for something. You have to figure out what is truly important, what is somewhat important, and what simply does not matter.

I am a really slow reader, and I have wanted to be a faster reader — though I do enjoy the whole process of sitting with a book. But here is what I began to observe: I would finish a chapter and have no idea what I had just read. I could not remember anything. Then it dawned on me that there were two possibilities. One, I am not very smart — I dismissed that option. Two, maybe the author had nothing worth remembering. So I began reading even more slowly, skimming and reading at the same time, underlining what seemed important, and eventually reading with a separate piece of paper to write down only the things that truly mattered.

I picked up a book the other day and was reading along when I realized I had already read it. The pages were yellowed, marked with my own handwriting. I had no memory of it whatsoever. There were my underlines, my highlighting, my nota bene notes. Now I make separate notes — and the reason is this: not everything that comes into my life is important enough to stay on the hard drive. You have to triage your life. You cannot possibly handle it all.

I meet so many people who get tripped up over all the little things and miss the big picture entirely.

Eternal Perspective and Momentary Affliction

Here is what Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 4: "Though the outer man is decaying, the inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary light affliction..." — that is how Paul describes life. The word he uses for affliction means intense pressure. The word he uses for light means weightless trifle. So Paul is saying: here is all this intense pressure, but in its proper perspective, it is momentary and it is trifle.

How can you say that, Paul? Later in chapter 11, he catalogs how many times he was whipped, beaten, and stoned — how he shipwrecked, went cold, went hungry. How can any of that be called trifle or insignificant? Because it requires perspective. And the perspective is this: "This momentary light affliction produces for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." You cannot even mention them in the same breath.

If you take the knowledge of God — who He is, the glory of knowing Him and enjoying Him — and place it on one side of the scale, then place momentary light affliction on the other, the scale does not even register the comparison. But here is the key. Paul said, "We look not at the things that are seen, but at the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are temporal..."

The Eternal Perspective

That is what Paul says. Paul says, "I have all this stuff coming in. I am getting barraged. There is information, there are demands, there are things I have to do. There are pressures on my life — physical pressure, emotional pressure." He talks in chapter 11 about the external pressure of the other churches and his concern for them. Paul has as much pressure in his life as you have in yours, maybe more. And yet Paul says, "Here is where I get my perspective. Here is how I endure. I look not at the temporary, but at the eternal."

One author writes this sentence: endurance is based on one's ability to look beyond the physical to the spiritual, beyond the present to the future, beyond the invisible to the visible. Paul says, "I press past this decaying body, this stuff that is perishing, and I look at the things that are eternal." Do you do that in your life?

You have to triage your life. That means you have to have some basis upon which you make decisions. You need to know what is really important and what is not — the things that are absolutely necessary versus the things that are superficial — and you need to be able to sort through them. If you are anything like me, you cannot handle a whole lot of things at once, so you do not have time to be dealing with things that are not important. You have to figure out what is truly important.

The Principle of Reverence

Here is the last principle: the principle of reverence. If you can help your descendants gain an accurate view of God, you will have given them something extraordinary. Deuteronomy 6 says, "Hear, O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your might, and these words which I am commanding you today shall be on your heart and you teach them diligently to your sons. Talk to them when you sit down in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, when you rise up." That is how you are going to understand life.

I picked up a bag of tea before I came out, and on the bag was a quote from John Muir — you know the Muir Woods outside of San Francisco. Here is what he said: "The clearest way into the universe is through a forest wilderness." How wrong is that? If I am in a forest, I am lost and they are sending search crews out to find me. I am not figuring out the lights and the stars and the moon from inside a forest. The clearest way into the universe is through this Word. That is how we figure this out.

This life is not confusing if you have the map. You are not going to get lost if you have true north in front of you. In a world that can be very confusing, where the signposts say that prestige, power, and fame are what really matter, God comes along and says, "Wait a minute — what really matters is to serve. The first will be last and the last will be first." It all starts by knowing God.

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your might." You love Him — and that comes first because you are a recipient of His love. When we talk about God's love, understand first and foremost that it is His love for us. While we were yet sinners, while we deserved judgment and death, He gave us grace and life. And now we ought to love Him in return — with our minds, with our hearts, with all our might — so that love permeates everything we do and every thought we have.

We take these things and etch them in our hearts. They become the core, the very essence of our being, so that everything we say and do is filtered through them. And then, as the passage says, we teach them diligently to our descendants — when we sit with them, when we talk with them, when we walk with them, when we spend time with them. Your life has to be in contact with people, and through that contact you are influencing them.

Why We Do Not Do It

Let me put a bow on this, because to me this is a no-brainer. I cannot fathom anyone arguing with these things, and every Christian here would be nodding along — which raises the question: then why do we not do it? There are four obstacles.

Number one, and this is the obvious one: you cannot pass on what you do not have. If you do not have a sense of duty, a sense of reverence, or a sense of significance, you will not be able to pass those things on.

Number two, you do not understand the importance of yourself as a role model. I think I have been guilty of this. I think I have underestimated the role I play. I cannot count how many times someone has come up to me and said, "You know, when we were having a cup of coffee, you said..." or "I was watching you and Susan and you did..." That is how people learn. Do you remember the first anti-tobacco commercial you ever saw — not the recent ones, but way back? There was a man sitting under a tree lighting a cigarette. Then they cut away to a little boy who had a pack of cigarettes and was doing exactly the same thing, emulating what his father was doing. Values are caught as well as taught. You are teaching lessons all day long, and people are watching. Do not underestimate that.

Number three, you are simply distracted by the tyranny of the urgent.

The Tyranny of the Urgent

I used to receive pink message slips. Remember those? "While you were out, so-and-so called." There was a box at the top in all capital letters that said URGENT. I came in one day and had five slips, and every single one was marked URGENT. I called the first urgent person back, and he was trying to sell me a timeshare in Sedona. That made me think we need to ask a different question: urgent to whom? It's not urgent to me.

This is an absolutely true story. One day I received a message that went something like this: "Tom, I need to talk to you right now. I know you're not in your office. I hope you get this. As soon as you get this, please give me a call." The caller then left seven or eight different numbers — his office, his cell phone, his pager, his sister's house, his home, his gym. The urgency was unmistakable.

Well, I got distracted, someone came into my office, and I forgot all about it. About four weeks later, I picked up my messages and it said I had one skipped message. I didn't even know what a skipped message was. It turned out to be that very call: "Tom, this is so-and-so. You need to call me. I'm in a real emergency."

I decided I would own my mistake rather than ignore it or blame someone else, so I called him back. I said, "Hey, this is Tom Schrader." Long pause. I told him I could really sense the pain and urgency in his message and that I felt very badly about it. I asked if there was anything I could do. Dead silence. I said, "Are you there?" He said, "Yeah, I'm here." Another long pause, and then he said, "Can I help you?"

It was absolutely true — he had forgotten why he called. I had been imagining someone was dying, the house was on fire, a genuine catastrophe. That is the tyranny of the urgent. Everything comes at you demanding immediate attention right now.

Fixing Our Eyes on the Eternal

The last danger this series has addressed is the danger of distraction. First Timothy 2:4 says, "No soldier in active duty entangles themselves in the affairs of everyday life." We cannot be entangled in this world. As Paul writes, "We look not at the things that are seen, but the things that are unseen. The things that are seen are temporal. The things that are unseen, they are eternal." It is the eternal that must drive our lives.

I hope this series has been helpful. There is much more that could be said — the principle of stewardship alone deserves its own treatment. But I hope it has broadened your thinking beyond your immediate family to your full sphere of influence. Every person God is bringing into your life is someone into whose life you are carrying some measure of legacy, some depth of relationship.

Father, help us see this truth and let it make a difference in our lives. God, we thank You for the legacy of our fathers, and we pray that we are faithful to it. We ask it in Jesus' name, amen.