Biblical Parenting
Tom Shrader walks through Ephesians 6:1-9, addressing children's call to obey and honor their parents and fathers' responsibility to discipline and instruct without provoking anger. Drawing on cultural background from the Roman world, he shows how radical Paul's household code was in its original context, particularly the command to fathers not to provoke their children. He also applies the slave-master passage to modern employee-employer relationships, calling believers to work with sincerity as unto the Lord and employers to treat those under them with fairness and care.
“Money can be an expression of love, but it's never a substitute for love.”
— Tom Shrader
Series: Ephesians
Recorded: 2010 at East Valley Bible Church
Duration: 47 min
Themes: parenting, obedience, discipline, authority, work ethic, honoring parents, family, fairness, parent, father, employer, employee, struggling with anger, raising children, navigating workplace conflict, new parent
Scripture: Ephesians 4:1, Ephesians 5:15, Ephesians 5:18, Ephesians 5:21, Ephesians 5:22-33, Ephesians 6:1-9, 2 Timothy 3, Romans 13:1, Proverbs 1:8, 1 Peter 2:18, 1 Corinthians 2:4, Philippians 2:12, Genesis 39:2, Genesis 39:3, Genesis 39:23, Genesis 40
Theological Themes: household code, sanctification, biblical authority, Spirit-filled living, imago dei, servant leadership, scripture application, kingdom ethics
Full Transcript
Introduction and the Pivot Point of Ephesians
Open your Bibles to the book of Ephesians, chapter six. The pivot point in the book is chapter 4, verse 1, where Paul says, "Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you've been called." What he is saying there is: you have received this call from God — that is what chapters 1, 2, and 3 are about — He has transformed your life, He has changed your heart, and now by changing the way you think, you lay off the old and you put on the new. You quit lying — that gets you to neutral — and now you tell the truth. The word is not meant to be merely an information dump. It is not just taking everything that is in here so that now you know it. You do not truly know it until it has transformed your life. That is what Paul is talking about.
The admonition continues in chapter 5, verse 15: "Be careful how you walk, not as the unwise, but as the wise, make the most of your time." Verse 18 adds: "Don't get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with" — that is, controlled by — "the Spirit of God." The way we will see that Spirit-controlled life is through these characteristics exhibited personally: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. Where those qualities are present, and where we are no longer bringing hardship and strife into a situation, we will often see God work in the midst of it.
This is a totally radical attitude, and it is summarized in verse 21: be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. That is the key phrase — in the fear of Christ.
The Household Code
Last week, Tyler taught and used the phrase "the household code." This is the way God has for us to live together as a family: wives submit to husbands, husbands love your wives. Tyler made a wonderful point last week about our cultural moment. When we read verses 22 through 23 today, the point of friction for us is verse 22 — wives submit to husbands. In that original culture, however, the friction point was verse 25 — husbands love your wives. The husband, as we will see again today with children, had absolute power and authority in the home, and rarely did he exhibit the unconditional, selfless love that he was being called to. In that culture, that authority often became a point of abuse.
So what Paul is saying is this: wives, submit to your husbands — why? Because he is the authority over you, and when you submit to him, you submit to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives — how? As Christ loved the church. And if you do not, you are in rebellion against Him. Understanding that cultural background is really important for us as we approach today's passage.
The Radical Ideas in Today's Text
The radical idea in verses 22 through 33 — the one that would have shocked the original audience — was that husbands should love their wives. Today we are going to look at nine verses, and there are two comparably radical ideas in this section. The first is verse 4, which relates to fathers: "Do not provoke your children to anger." The second is verse 9, addressed to masters: do not threaten — give up threatening — but care for your slaves or employees. Those are the shocking thoughts in this passage.
Let us read verses 1 through 4: "Children obey your parents in the Lord for it is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may be well with you and that you may live long on earth. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord."
Children Under Authority
There is no age specificity communicated in this command. Whether you are under the roof of your parents at age 8, 28, 38, or 108, you obey them. The word "obey" means to listen under — not merely to hear, because you can hear someone and never truly listen. It means to hear the words and let them pierce your understanding and your heart. It is to listen attentively and responsibly, and to honor them.
In that culture, a father had absolute control. He could sell his children into slavery. He could force them to work for wages and garnish those wages. He could punish them any way he wanted, including physical punishment. He could even invoke the death penalty upon them. One ancient Roman said it plainly: a Roman son never comes of age.
At birth, there was a custom known as child exposure. When a child was born, it would be brought to the father and laid at his feet. If he stooped over and picked the child up, the child was received and cared for as part of the family. If the father turned and walked away, the child was most often literally disposed of — thrown away.
The Cultural Context of Children in the Ancient World
There is an ancient letter, dated 1 BC, from a husband to his wife. He is away from her, writing from Alexandria. He writes: "Heartiest greetings. Know that we are still even now in Alexandria. Don't worry, when others return, I remain in Alexandria. I beg and beseech you to take care of the little child. And as soon as we receive wages, I will send them to you." Then he adds this chilling instruction: "If, good luck to you, you have a child — if it's a boy, let it live. If it's a girl, throw it out."
Seneca writes about the broader practice of that culture: "We slaughter a fierce ox, we strangle a mad dog, we plunge a knife into the sickly cattle lest they taint the herd. Children who are born weakly or deformed, we drowned." That was the culture. So when people in that world heard "children, obey your parents," there was nothing particularly radical in it.
Obedience to Parents in the Last Days
In our culture, however, we need to declare something clearly, because there is in many instances an almost unconscious acceptance of a child in rebellion. Paul says in 2 Timothy 3 that in the last days, men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents.
Paul speaks directly to children. He says that they are to obey their parents as in the Lord — to obey them because God has placed parents over children for their good and for their protection. It is the same principle we see in Romans 13:1 as it relates to government. Paul is writing when Nero is on the throne — a tyrant — and he says to submit to government because all authority is established by God. He would say, if you can vote someone out, vote them out, but in this case the point is: submit to them. Why? Because when we submit to the authority God has placed over us, we are submitting to the Lord Himself.
He says the same thing to children: obey your parents. A simple illustration — if they say sit down, sit down. And not just physically, but in your response. You can sit down physically and still be standing up in your heart. Sit down in respect, in honor, in obedience.
The Primary Evidence of a Changed Life
Every year at the last session of summer camp, for as long as I can remember, I say this: some of you had significant, God-changing experiences this week. Some of you say you came to Christ for the first time. Others would say you have grown deeper in your understanding of Him. The primary evidence of that is going to be whether you obey your parents and coexist — not just peacefully, but in love — with your siblings.
We can raise our hands at camp and have a wonderful time. The worship at summer camp is one of its great aspects, and Sunday morning outside is especially meaningful. But the number one way we will know whether you truly want to do what God has called you to do is whether you obey your parents. It is not just raising hands. It is not just getting along with students at school. If you want to do God's will, and you are a child or a student, the number one evidence is this: obey your parents.
Honoring Parents Goes Beyond Obedience
God does not simply call children to obey — He calls them to honor. John MacArthur writes: "Obviously simply providing financial support for one's parents in their old age falls short of honoring them if it is not done with loving, personal involvement. Money can be an expression of love, but it is never a substitute for love. A child can no more honor his parents by simply paying their bills than his parents could have responsibly raised him by only paying for food and clothes and education and other needs apart from loving care and involvement."
Proverbs 1:8 says, "My son, hear your father's instructions and do not forsake your mother's teaching." Listen to them. Obey them. Honor them. And that call to honor never ends.
Many of us are now at a stage of life where our own children have been raised, but we are also approaching the final years of our parents' lives. There is an obligation, a responsibility, a privilege, and a joy in providing for your parents — just as they took care of you for twenty or more years, you now take care of them. And again, it goes beyond the financial dimension. It is loving care and personal involvement. Distance and travel and other complications come into play, but the sense of that responsibility and that privilege remains.
A Word to Fathers
While disobedience to parents may be a mark of the last days, what Paul writes next — in verse 4 — would have been far more striking to his original audience. "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." The word translated "fathers" is in other places translated "parents," and most scholars, given the context, would say it likely refers to both parents. At the same time, the father tends to be the dominant figure in that household, and by God's design carries a particular responsibility here.
The instruction is clear: fathers are to bring into the household both discipline and instruction. Discipline means a systematic, overall training of the child. Punishment is a part of that.
brothers knew it. Joseph knew it. And it created huge chaos and division in the family. Number three is discouragement, being too critical, never encouraging, never saying well done. The dad who comes to every ball game and never talks about the good plays and only talks about the mistakes. You can lose a kid by never stopping to say, well done. And I think if you work in ministry long enough, and all of us who have, and you talk to adults about their childhood, you would be surprised how many of them never one time heard from their father, I'm proud of you. Or I love you. That leaves a mark. Number four is neglect. Just not being there. Just not showing up. It's the dad who provides everything financially, every material thing, and provides nothing of himself. Studies have shown, consistently, that children would rather have less stuff and more dad. Number five is setting the bar too high, having unrealistic expectations. The dad who was the star athlete who pushes the kid who's not a star athlete to be the star athlete. The dad who was the academic who pushes the kid who doesn't have those gifts academically. You can break a kid by demanding of them what they are not gifted or built to produce.
Number six is failing to allow them to grow up. And this connects back to number one in some ways. Not allowing them to have age-appropriate freedoms and responsibilities. Part of parenting is the gradual release of control. You hold tight when they're young, and as they grow and demonstrate responsibility, you loosen. If you never loosen, you create either someone who can't function without you or someone who explodes the moment they're free. Number seven is using hurtful words. The tongue is powerful. Proverbs tells us that. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. What a parent says to a child, especially in anger, can live in that child for decades. You call a kid stupid, lazy, worthless, a mistake, you have planted something in them that will take the grace of God to uproot. And number eight is failing to let them fail. Not allowing natural consequences. You rescue them every single time from the outcome of their own choices. And what you produce is a person who never learns that choices have consequences, and who has no framework for personal responsibility.
The Foundation of the Home
Now, I want to step back for a moment and look at the bigger picture here, because all of this sits inside of a structure. All of this discipline, all of this instruction, all of this nuance around how you treat your kids, it sits inside of a household that is ordered by God. The passage we're working from is Ephesians 6, and it follows directly from Ephesians 5, which is all about the husband and wife relationship. And that ordering matters. You cannot have a healthy parent-to-child relationship if the husband-and-wife relationship is in disorder. The kids know. They always know. They know when mom and dad are not right with each other. And what that does to a child's sense of security is significant. Which is why both the sociologist and the psychiatrist we referenced put the parents' love for each other on the list. It is not incidental. It is foundational.
This is also why I told our girls plainly that I loved their mother more than I loved them. I know that sounds harsh. But what I was giving them was a gift. I was giving them a picture of a marriage that would still be standing when they left. I was giving them the security of knowing that this home is built on something that does not rise and fall based on their behavior, their performance, or their presence. That home is stable. And children need stability more than they need to feel like the center of the universe. Because the center of the universe is a terrible and lonely place to occupy, and the day they leave home, there is nothing in the world built to maintain that illusion for them.
Raising Kids in the Nurture and Admonition of the Lord
So what does it actually look like, this nurture and admonition of the Lord? It looks like a home where the Word of God is spoken and lived. Not just recited, but demonstrated. It looks like a father who says one thing and does that same thing. It looks like a mother who is present and engaged during the formative years. It looks like two parents who are visibly, demonstrably affectionate with each other and with their children. And it looks like a family that does things together, not just in the same house, but together, participating in shared life.
That child should hear from you what life is like, and see in you how life should be lived. Those are two different things and they are both required. The saying and the doing. The instruction and the example. You can lecture them on integrity until you lose your voice. But if they watch you lie to get out of a phone call, you have communicated more in that moment than in all the lectures combined. Children are not primarily taught by what you say. They are primarily formed by what they watch. That is the weight of parenting. That is why it is, if not the hardest, one of the most difficult responsibilities a human being can carry.
And it is 24 hours a day, seven days a week. They are constantly testing the boundaries. Not because they want the boundaries removed, but because they need to know the boundaries hold. They need to know that you will still be standing there, consistent and firm, when they push. That consistency is the thing. That is what communicates love, safety, and truth to a child more than almost anything else you can offer them.
Don't Provoke Your Children to Anger
The father declares one son his favorite, and he gives him a coat of many colors. Every time the brothers see that coat, they are reminded of who is favored. That kind of partiality will provoke children — and it illustrates the third way parents provoke their kids: pushing achievement beyond any reasonable boundaries.
There is a great story of a young Christian girl — a cheerleader, the most popular, homecoming queen, all of that. She eventually fell apart emotionally, attempted suicide, and came back a couple of years later broken. Here is what she said: "I don't care what I did, it never satisfied my parents."
I look back over my own life and one of my regrets is that we didn't have more children. The reason we didn't was me. I was afraid we would have a boy, and I was afraid that if we did, I would try to fulfill in his life all the deficiencies that were in my life — have him be the baseball player I never was, the student I never was. You get the picture. When a child can never please their parents, it does real and lasting damage.
What is striking is that it doesn't matter how old you are. Susan and I were watching television last night, and there was a performer from Las Vegas being interviewed. The host told him he was at the top of his field, and this man — not trying to make a point, just saying it — responded that it was great to hear, because he had never, to this day, heard that from his father.
I was talking with a woman whose father is in his eighties. She had been home with him a couple of months ago, did a chore around the house, and when it didn't turn out right, her father made a cutting remark about a physical characteristic of hers. If you saw her, you would not believe it. And the pain that comment inflicted — still visible in her, after all these years — was real.
The Wound of Withheld Words
The fourth way to provoke your children to anger is simply to discourage them — never compliment them, never tell them you love them. If you are around sixty years old, give or take five years, in all likelihood your father never said he loved you. He may have shown love by providing a home and food, but he never said the words. Many of my peers feel a genuine emptiness because of that.
That probably isn't going to change now. If your dad is eighty or eighty-five, it is largely a generational thing, and I cannot fix it. But here is the point: if you know how much you need those words, how important they are, then make sure you say them to your children, and to their children, and to the next generation after that.
Investing in Your Children
The fifth way to provoke your children is what John MacArthur described as parents failing to sacrifice for their children and making them feel unwanted. I want to reframe that slightly, because I dislike the word "sacrifice." I would write it this way: parents failing to invest in their children. Sacrifice implies something you don't want to do. An investment is different. We gave up all sorts of things for our kids, but not as a sacrifice — as an investment. We thought it was best for them, so we wanted to do it.
But if you allow your child to sense — and a great many children do sense this — that they are unwanted, that they are an inconvenience, that you would be happier without them, you will provoke them to anger.
Pushing Too Hard, Too Fast
The sixth way is failing to let your children grow up at a normal pace — pushing them too quickly. Think of four-year-old girls entered in beauty pageants. I was talking with a first-grade teacher about the start of school, and I asked what the most difficult part of it was. She said that every parent who comes in tells her, "You need to know, she's a gifted girl" — even when the child doesn't yet know her colors. That is the pressure of pushing.
Not every sixteen-year-old needs to know what they want to be when they grow up — especially when you, as their parent, haven't figured out what you want to be when you grow up yet.
The seventh way is using love as a tool to reward or punish your children. This can happen unconsciously. You simply withhold the affirmation they need, and it becomes a form of control.
The Weight of Words
The final way is the most obvious: physically or verbally abusing your child. You tell them they are stupid. You tell them they are ugly. You tell them they are dumb. And they will believe it — even if they are beautiful, even if they are brilliant. Those words settle into a child and stay there.
Bringing the Discipline and Instruction of the Lord
So here is what the text says. Children, obey your parents — listen to them, honor them, respect them. And parents, do not provoke your children to anger. Instead, bring to them the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Take this Word and bring it alive. Teach it to them in a systematic way. There is not one singular method for doing that — there are wonderful families who have done it in many different ways.
Serving with Sincerity of Heart
I've seen wonderful families that do devotions together every day, and I've seen wonderful families that don't. I'm not hung up on how you do it. I'm hung up on that you do it. You bring instruction and discipline and love every day and in every way to those kids.
Now Paul seems to shift gears, though there is a similarity we'll find in a moment. Verse 5: "Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling and sincerity of heart, as to the Lord. Not by way of eye service as men-pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. With goodwill render service as to the Lord, not to men, knowing that whatever good thing each one does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether slave or free." Then in verse 9, just as in verse 4 he spoke to the fathers after addressing the children, he now speaks to the one in charge: "Masters, do the same to them. Give up threatening, knowing that both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him."
Understanding the Roman Context
Culture is important here. To understand this, we need to understand the church at Ephesus and the Roman Empire at this point in time. The Empire had approximately 60 million slaves, and in Ephesus, Corinth, and Rome alone, historians estimate there were about 20 million slaves.
As you read about this world, you get a striking picture of what that slavery looked like. Slaves were thought of literally as tools, and just as you would discard a tool that could no longer be sharpened, you would discard a slave. Cato, the Roman statesman, writes that old slaves should be thrown on a dump, that when a slave is ill you should not feed him anything because it is not worth your money — take six slaves and throw them away because they are nothing but inefficient tools. Augustus tells of a slave who was crucified because he had accidentally killed a pet quail. Much as with the earlier discussion of children, this does not mean such things happened routinely, but it describes the environment and the backdrop.
Slaves were thought of as chattel. However, other authors note that this was beginning to change somewhat, and the Roman understanding of slavery was a little different from what we picture when we hear the word today — shaped as our thinking is by what we saw in the American South. Romans held the attitude that no Roman citizen should perform any kind of labor. As a result, even doctors were slaves, even those who functioned as executives were slaves. Many of them had their own houses and operated much like employees as we understand the term today — though it is equally important to acknowledge that the extremes existed as well.
The Gospel Transforms the Relationship
Here is what happened. The Spirit of God moved, and He began to save masters and save slaves alike. Now they are coming together for church. They are singing songs, sharing hymns and psalms, worshiping together, being taught together, and then going back into these same environments during the week. The question Paul is answering is: how should we conduct ourselves in that environment?
Paul says to the slaves, "Be obedient" — the word means to place yourself under. Peter gives us a really helpful insight in 1 Peter 2:18: "Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God."
Paul and Peter are not attempting to correct or overthrow this social situation. You can build a case from Scripture that this is certainly not an endorsement of slavery. Rather, they are saying: here is the reality, and here is how we live within it. One author puts it this way — and take slavery out and put your own difficult circumstance in its place — Christianity does not offer an escape from circumstance. It offers conquest in the midst of circumstance.
Fear, Trembling, and Sincerity
So Paul says, "Slaves, be obedient to your masters with fear and trembling and sincerity of heart, as to Christ." This idea of fear and trembling is not trembling out of concern for your own well-being. It is the same thing Paul speaks of in 1 Corinthians 2 when he says he came to the Corinthians in fear and trembling — and why? Lest he come in the wisdom of the world rather than in the wisdom of God. Paul writes to the church at Philippi in Philippians 2:12, "Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who is at work in you." He has placed the desire in you to do what He would have you do — now do it. The idea of fear and trembling is the idea of reverent respect.
What Paul is saying in verse 5, then, is to live with sincerity of heart. You obey your master because in obeying him you are obeying Christ. It is the same principle as with the wife submitting to the husband and the husband loving the wife. The exception, as always, is if the master is commanding you to do something God forbids, or forbidding you to do something God commands. Apart from that, in the vast majority of situations, this is the response called for.
Don't Just Work When the Boss Is Watching
Verse 6 makes the motivation clear: "Not by way of eye service as men-pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart." Don't only do it when they're watching you.
Anyone who knows me will appreciate the humor in this illustration. Going into my freshman year of college, I worked that summer as a laborer on a construction site. I was there the second day when one of the guys called me over and said, "Hey, college boy, you need to slow down. You're working way too fast." That was actually good news to me — I was working fast because my dad had always taught us to work hard and work fast. But this man was saying, listen, we will work fast, but we will not work fast right now. We'll do it when the boss is coming.
That memory came to mind recently because I caught the opening ten or fifteen minutes of the film *The Devil Wears Prada*. There is a scene at the beginning where Meryl Streep's character — the boss — is arriving, and everything immediately shifts the moment her presence is anticipated.
Working for God's Glory
Don't just work hard when your boss is watching. That is the heart of what Paul is saying here. When the boss is coming, people scramble — changing shoes, putting away flip flops, cleaning off desks. But God is your ultimate authority, not your employer. So here is what He wants: do an honest day's work even if they are not giving you an honest day's pay. Do it whether they are watching you, videotaping you, or away in Alaska fishing. Live and work in such a way that you are working for God's glory.
What is the will of God for children? Obey your parents. What is the will of God for employees? Do the work that your master and employer gives you to do. Do it with, as verse 7 says, "goodwill and render good service." Paul uses that phrase again — he used it in verse 5 and again here in verse 7 — "as to the Lord, not to men, knowing that whatever good things each one does, this will receive back from the Lord whether he is free or a slave."
A Promise and a Principle
Verse 3 and verse 8, as I read and study this passage, seem to be a promise and, more likely, a principle. Paul is saying to children and to employees alike: I want you to obey. I want you to obey because, as verse 21 says, you submit to each other's authority in Christ, and this is the role you have been placed in. And children, you do this so it will be well with you. There will be peace around you.
Your life will be marked by satisfaction and contentment and peace, even in the midst of difficult circumstances. I was working on a lesson one day, sitting in my chair, when Hayley — she had to be about 12 or 13 — was over on the couch with the television on. I was working on something about satisfaction and contentment for a priority living lesson, thinking about whether we are truly satisfied with who we are and what we have.
I said to her, "Hayley, if you could be anybody in the world, who would you want to be?" She said, "I'd be Hayley Schrader." I said, "Really? Why?" She said, "Look at this, Dad. I just do what you tell me to do, nobody bothers me, I lay on the couch, I can watch television, I've got my own room — I've got it made. All I have to do is whatever you tell me to do." That is exactly what Paul is saying. There is a peacefulness that comes from this.
Contentment Within Your Role
There is an authority to submit to, and peace will be rendered back to you. It does not necessarily mean the difficult person around you will suddenly come around. But if your ultimate desire as a follower of Christ is to glorify God, then when you obey that parent or that employer, you are glorifying God. If that is what you want, that is what you will get.
I was talking to a man the other day about his family, and I asked about one of his daughters specifically. He said, "She is such a delight. Having her as my daughter is such a delight." I had been working on this lesson, and I said to him, "Isn't it amazing that when the kids are responsible, it just makes the house a place you want to be?" Susan and I could list many things she did so well, but one of them is that she took the house and made it a home. I could not wait to get there. It was a place of refuge.
By and large, that was because every one of the four of us knew our role. I knew it was my responsibility to lead and to love her, even when I did not want to lead and even when she was not easy to love. She knew she was to submit to me, even when I was being foolish and making bad decisions. The kids knew they were there to obey us, and we knew we were there to instruct them. What Paul is saying is that you will experience the byproduct of that. You will experience an environment where, even if there is tension, you will find contentment and satisfaction in the role you are in.
It is almost incomprehensible to think that you simply obey and you will be happy. But you will find some genuine level of contentment and satisfaction.
The Responsibility of Those in Authority
Now Paul turns to address the masters in verse 9, much as he spoke to the father earlier. "Do the same things to them." Masters, do the same things to those under you as they are doing to you. What does that mean? Follow the Lord with fear and trembling. Live in that way. Give up threatening, yelling, screaming, and abusing your authority. Be fair and just. Why? Because both their Master and your Master is in heaven. When you and your employee, you and your slave, stand before God, you are on equal footing.
Now, to those of you who are owners and employers, I want to offer a challenge. I do not think Scripture allows you to take the position my first boss took. He said, "I don't care what you do out there. I don't care about the rest of your life. All I care about is your time here at the office. I don't want any of that coming in here, and none of that going out there. I just want this." As a follower of Christ, I do not believe you have that option.
I am hearing this posture more and more, especially in large companies. Regardless of what the policy manual says in one sense — yes, we obey those policies just as our employees obey us — if you have hurting people around you, you have an opportunity to demonstrate Christ to them. When someone says, "Don't mix these two worlds," and yet broken people are right in front of you, you have a chance to show them something real.
The Example of Joseph
There is a powerful scene that illustrates this — what happened with Joseph. Joseph is sold into slavery by his brothers, bought by Potiphar, and does everything Potiphar asks him to do. Then Potiphar's wife...
Faithful in Every Role
Potiphar's wife tries to seduce Joseph, and he resists, doing what is right. He is then accused of trying to rape her and thrown not merely into prison, but into the dungeon. He had risen up into authority in Potiphar's household, and Genesis 39:2 tells us this was "because the Lord was with Joseph." Genesis 39:3 adds that Potiphar saw the Lord was with Joseph — there was something different about him.
Now Joseph is in prison, yet Genesis 39:23 tells us that the Lord was still with him. The chief jailer put Joseph in charge of everything in the dungeon. You can talk about slave and master, you can talk about responsibility — even when you are dealt dirty, Joseph was still serving under God, not merely under a person.
In Genesis 40, a new scene unfolds. Pharaoh was dissatisfied with two of his staff and threw them into prison, placing them under Joseph's care. Joseph comes in one day, and Genesis 40:6 tells us he could see they were dejected. Verse 7 records that he went to them and said, "Why are you so sad?" You cannot disengage from the lives of those in your charge. You do not have the right to dissociate from them — you have the opportunity, even as someone in a position of management, to show love and care and to show Christ to them.
Everyday Conversations as Mission
If you are roughly my age, you grew up in the summer with something called the Baseball Game of the Week. The reason it was called that is because it was the one baseball game you got that week. Most of the time, at least in the Midwest, that game featured the Yankees, and if you watched the Yankees from about 1955 to the early 1960s, most guys would say their player was Mickey Mantle.
So I end up with a navy t-shirt — Yankee logo, number seven, Mickey Mantle — and I start to notice that every time I wear it, something happens. I was meeting Tyler for coffee, and a man came up and said he was in Yankee Stadium in 1957, that he had gone with his father. He began to tear up talking about that experience. I realized that whether I leave the house wearing an Iowa shirt or something similar, people stop me and begin a conversation.
So I thought, this works with Mickey Mantle — I wonder what else it works with. I got a purple New Orleans Jazz shirt with Maravich on the back, number seven. Now let me be clear: I look like a complete fool wearing these things. It is genuinely ridiculous, and I am far too old for it. But I wore the Maravich shirt, and a man came up and said, "You like Pistol Pete?" I said I loved Pistol Pete. He said he did too.
I asked him if he knew Maravich's last words. He said he did not. I told him that Maravich had been playing basketball — he was playing with James Dobson, though I did not mention that detail — and they had taken a break. Dobson asked him how he felt, and Pistol Pete said, "I feel great," and fell over dead. That became a door opener to a meaningful conversation with that man. Whether you are at work, at a coffee shop, at Costco, or on the golf course — you are on a mission.
The Will of God in the Place You Are
Let me put a bow on last week and this week together. Here is what Paul said: if you are a wife, submit to your husband. If you are a husband, love your wife. If you are a child, obey your parents and honor and respect them. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger — discipline them and instruct them. Slaves, obey your masters. Masters, treat your slaves fairly. Why? Because that is the will of God for you.
If you are young and sitting here today saying you want to know God's will for your life, His will is that you obey your parents. If you are a wife wondering what God's will is for your life, it is that you submit to your husband. Here is what Paul is saying: you cannot take this faith and compartmentalize it.
Go back to that slave-and-master setting. These people came into the church having been saved from different circumstances. God did not say in His Word that they had better get out of those roles. He said to take the Spirit-filled life and become a slave filled with the Spirit, a master filled with the Spirit, a child filled with the Spirit. That is not optional — that is how God would have you live.
So if one of your great prayer requests is that you want to know God's will for your life, we just gave it to you. It is not about the blue house or the red house. It is about you playing out the will of God wherever He has placed you.
Closing Prayer
Father, thank You for this amazing time that we can be together and for this truth that really does change the way we think — and once the way we think has changed, the way we act should be changed as well. God, I pray that You would fill us with Your Spirit and that it would transform the way we live, what we say, and what we do. God, let us take this message to our world and live it out before them. We pray that in Christ's name. Amen.