The Power That Lies in the Midst of This
Tom Shrader works through Ephesians 5:15-21 as a summary of Paul's call to walk carefully and wisely in a world marked by evil and opposition. He draws on supporting passages in 2 Timothy, Hebrews, and Galatians to contrast the fruit of the flesh with the fruit of the Spirit, urging believers to be filled with and controlled by the Holy Spirit rather than by worldly desires or substances. The teaching closes by connecting Spirit-filled living to its visible fruit: genuine worship, thankfulness in all circumstances, and a posture of mutual submission in every relationship.
“The word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and it allows us to judge our hearts, our thoughts, our motives — it exposes us, it lays us bare.”
— Tom Shrader
Series: Ephesians
Recorded: 2010 at East Valley Bible Church
Duration: 48 min
Themes: holy spirit, wisdom, worship, thankfulness, submission, self-control, walking in faith, spiritual fruit, struggling with self-control, new believer, feeling spiritually dry, husband, young adult, navigating difficult relationships, parent, seeking purpose
Scripture: Ephesians 5:15-21, Ephesians 4:1, Ephesians 4:22-24, Ephesians 4:25, Ephesians 4:30, Ephesians 5:1, Ephesians 5:3, Ephesians 5:6, Ephesians 5:7, Ephesians 5:8-9, Ephesians 5:11, Ephesians 5:13, Ephesians 5:18, Ephesians 5:22, Ephesians 5:25, Ephesians 6:1, Ephesians 6:5, Ephesians 6:9, 1 Corinthians 5, 1 Corinthians 13, 2 Timothy 3:1-16, Hebrews 4:12-13, Galatians 5:16-23, Romans 1:18, Proverbs 9:10, Proverbs 14:8, Proverbs 14:12, Proverbs 14:15, 1 Peter 4:12, 1 Thessalonians 5
Theological Themes: pneumatology, spirit-filled living, sanctification, becoming holy, fruit of the spirit, fruit of the flesh, biblical wisdom, mutual submission
Full Transcript
Introduction to Ephesians 5
Open your Bibles, please, to the book of Ephesians, the fifth chapter. If you don't have a Bible, raise your hand and the guys will bring one to you. If you get a Bible from us, you get into the New Testament about two-thirds of the way back, around page 153 or so. The book of Ephesians divides simply: chapters 1, 2, and 3 are heavily doctrinal, and chapters 4, 5, and 6 are extraordinarily practical.
Some people are stunned when they read the Scripture and see how practical it is. I teach three studies during the week, and I just did a session on finance. Two separate people who were not Christians and not engaged in any church came up to me afterwards and said, "Where did you get that stuff on money?" I told them I got it from the Bible, and they said, "I know you referenced the Bible, but where did those things come from?" People who don't have a familiarity with Scripture are stunned by how practical it is.
God, in essence, gives you the owner's manual for life. He created you, and then He told you how to get the most out of this life. That is what Scripture is. We have been teaching in the marketplace for over a quarter of a century, teaching these same timeless principles that God has given us.
Paul gets to the second half of Ephesians and says he wants us to have all this knowledge. But this is always the tension. This is the classroom — we read, we study, we gain knowledge. Our heads are renewed in their thinking, our hearts are transformed, and our lives are changed. It is never meant to be just an information dump.
I hope it is never the case, whenever we are engaged in Scripture, that we are pursuing only information and knowledge. Knowledge puffs up. Wisdom causes us to grow up. We take this Word — this is the classroom — and the minute these doors open at noon, we go into the laboratory. Not to prove that this is right, but to see the manifestation of it in our lives.
Paul's Call to Walk Wisely
Paul has been telling us how we should live. He uses the imagery of a walk, saying, "Walk in a manner worthy of your calling." Here is the process he gives us: put off the old, which only moves us to neutral, then put on the new. Don't steal, but work. Don't lie, but tell the truth. A walk is literally just a continuous process of one foot in front of the other, repeated over and over again, and that becomes a picture of what Paul intends for the Christian life.
For four or five weeks now we have seen it in chapter 4: verse 22, lay aside the old; verse 24, put on the new; verse 23, this is accomplished as you renew your mind. Today we are going to look at verses 15 through 21, which serve as a summary, a review, tying some things together. We will look at the passage, go back and pull some things out, and hopefully the Spirit of God will use His Word to change our hearts.
Verse 15: "Therefore, be careful how you walk, not as an unwise man, but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Do not get drunk with wine, for this is dissipation — or, as some translations say, debauchery — but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs and singing and making a melody with your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks in all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father, and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ."
The Word "Therefore" as a Transition
Paul starts verse 15 with the word "therefore." Whenever I see that word repeat, I mark it with the same symbol in my Bible. Just in chapter 5 alone, verse 1 begins with "therefore," verse 7 begins with "therefore," and we see it again today in verse 15. Working back into chapter 4, we see it in verse 25, and then it really begins this whole section in chapter 4 verse 1. Paul is taking us to conclusions and making a transition.
He says "therefore," and here is what he has been talking about. Let's go all the way back to verse 1: "Therefore, be imitators of God." That word translated "imitator" is where we get the English word "mimic" — literally, mimic God, be like God. God has attributes that are incommunicable to us — He is immutable and we are not — but He also has attributes that can be modeled in our lives, not perfectly as His are, but love is one of them.
He says, therefore, mimic God. How? "Walk" — that is, live — "in love just as Christ loved you and gave Himself for you." We begin to get a sense of a new definition of love. Begin to live selflessly. Begin to have that 1 Corinthians 13 spirit in you. You know the passage: "Love is patient, love is kind," and right at its very center: love does not seek its own, love does not keep score. God's love is radically different from what we think of when we think of the world's love.
Counterfeit Love and the World's Immorality
That is what Paul says: love like Christ. But in verse 3, he says do not live in the counterfeit love the world offers — in this case, sexual love. It is filled with immorality and impurity. There is greed, but the greed here is not material greed. In this context, it is sexual greed. We talked about this last week — the conversation isn't silly or
Don't Participate With Darkness
Don't let anybody deceive you. Don't let the world sell you its counterfeit when you can have the real thing. The real love is the love as Christ loved. Love like that. Don't love as the world paints love. Don't let anybody deceive you, no matter what they say. A timeless God doesn't produce dated material, and He hasn't changed His view. He is the King. He is not running for re-election. He reigns.
Therefore, don't participate with this. He is not calling us to withdraw from the world. He is not calling you into a monastery. He is not saying you have a litmus test in your life, and if somebody is a follower of Christ they get to be associated with you, but if they aren't, you have nothing to do with them. Paul is really clear about that in 1 Corinthians chapter 5. He is writing to a church that has all sorts of issues, and he says to them, listen, I didn't tell you to have nothing to do with the world, because to do that, you'd have to leave the world.
It is wrong for us to think that somehow God has saved us and doesn't want us to be spending time with men and women and students who don't know Christ. That's simply not true. That was the charge against Jesus — He's a drunkard, He's a glutton, He's a friend of sinners. The only way He got that reputation is by hanging with them. He didn't partake with them.
I had no problem when I was working, and even now, going out with the guys. If they're going to go to a bar or something, I don't particularly have a problem with that. If they want to have a drink, that's fine with me, and I'll have a Diet Coke or whatever, and we'll have a conversation. Now, if it gets gross, I leave. But in the midst of that, what inevitably happens is they're going to see Christ in you, and oftentimes when hardship and pain comes into their life, which it will, it's you they're going to come to.
He is not saying withdraw from them, because the world is filled with sinners. Every institution we have is imperfect. Every church you go to is imperfect. This church is imperfect — because we are sinful people. You can't get away from that. He is not calling you out of that. He is saying, don't you participate with them. Don't say a hearty amen to what they're doing. You have no problem standing in a loving way for what's right and what's true.
The Progression From Darkness to Light
Look at the progression here. He says in verse 6, don't be deceived. Then he paints this picture of light and dark. He says in verse 8, you were formerly in the darkness, now you are in the light. Verse 9, let the fruit of the light be in you. Verse 11, don't be unfruitful. Then he says in verse 13, all these things will become visible when they're exposed, for everything will become visible in the light.
No matter what the world is telling you, don't you move off what you know to be true. Turn with me to 2 Timothy chapter 3. Paul is writing to his protégé, and this is the last written correspondence we have from the Apostle Paul. He is pouring his heart out to Timothy, knowing he is about to die. He says in 2 Timothy chapter 3, verse 1, "Realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come."
Are we in the last days? Sure we are. That began when Christ ascends into heaven, and everything since then has been the last days. How will we know the last days — what will be their character traits? He tells us in verse 2: "Men will be lovers of self." The rest of what follows is really his exposition of that idea. Lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving.
That word unloving means they will have unnatural responses. The most natural response I can see is a mother who loves her child, and yet you have 1.3 million mothers kill their babies every year. That is a picture of what unloving means. Irreconcilable — people will speak to each other through lawyers, they can't communicate anymore. Malicious gossips, no self-control, brutal — they are cutting off heads and putting them on cars down in Mexico right now. That kind of physical violence. They hate good, they are treacherous, reckless, conceited.
Then he ties it together: they are lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God. But he adds very quickly — they hold to a form of godliness although they deny its power. In the last days, you are going to have people who come and who are lovers of self, and yet they will be spiritual and even religious. Don't be deceived by this. They will talk about religion. They will talk even about God. They might even acknowledge that they are spiritual. But they deny its power — and the power is Christ. They deny who Christ is. That is a picture of the world you live in.
Responding With Scripture
How do you respond to that? He gives you the answer a little further into chapter 3, at verse 16. "All scripture is inspired by God, profitable for teaching and reproof and correction and training in righteousness so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work." You respond to a deceived world with scripture. That is how you know how to live — through knowledge and wisdom.
Walking in the Light
Darkness gives way to light, and everything will be exposed. Turning to the book of Hebrews, chapter 4, we get the same picture — the same idea of God exposing. How does God expose? He brings the light. How does the light come? The light came through Christ, but the light also shines through the word of God you have in your lap right now.
Hebrews 4:12 says, "The word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword and it pierces as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow and it is able to judge the thoughts and the intentions of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight and all things will be open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do." There is light that will come — that exposure again. You were in the darkness and you are now in the light. What allows us to see things as they really are? The word of God. It is sharp, it cuts, it allows us to judge our hearts, our thoughts, our motives, it exposes us, it lays us bare.
The Fruit of the Flesh and the Fruit of the Spirit
It is not just that. Remember, God said He wants us to be fruitful, not unfruitful. Turning to Galatians chapter 5, those who have been around for a while will immediately think of the fruit of the Spirit, which is Galatians 5:22. But before Paul gets to the fruit of the Spirit, he gives us what might be called the fruit of the flesh.
Galatians 5:16 says, "Walk by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. The flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh." Verse 18: "If you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law." Then Paul lists the deeds of the flesh. The question to ask is not about the person to your left or right, or the person at the office or in the neighborhood — the question is about you. What characterizes your life?
There are two descriptive sets here. The first: immorality, impurity, sensuality — sexual immorality, sexual impurity, the dirty and the driven by animal desires — idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger. Does that describe who you are? Because Paul says if that is who you are, you are being led by the flesh, not by the Spirit. Disputes, dissension, factions, envy — do these mark your personal relationships? If a group of your friends were asked to fire off one word to describe you, would they say tense? Contentious? Driven by envy, prone to outbursts of anger? Are you the source of it? Paul says drunkenness and all those things — if that is how you live, you are being led by the flesh.
If you are being led by the Spirit, verse 22 says you will be known for "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control." There should be fruit in your life, and you will be known by that fruit. Are you known by the fruit of the flesh or the fruit of the Spirit? How would people identify you?
How Little Man Has Progressed
Going back to the text, this is the process Paul has been building. There are two different ways to live — one or the other. One observation worth making is how little man has progressed morally. We have not made any moral progression at all. Paul writes about what we looked at last week and into this week: being consumed with immorality, impurity, greed, silly talk, coarse talk, filthy talk. We have not progressed one iota.
We have advanced in other ways, but even our advancements — technology — only allow us to text and Google and stream our sin in high definition. All we have done is become more advanced in the ways we indulge sin. The heart of man has not changed. God changes that.
The Wrath of God Revealed Now
There is a wrath of God, and we must keep coming back to that. Romans 1:18 in the New American Standard says, "The wrath of God is revealed." The King James says the wrath of God is now being revealed. When we hear the wrath of God, we tend to think fire, brimstone, hell. But Paul is also saying that the wrath of God is revealed in another way right now — God simply steps away and allows what Ray Stedman calls the animalizing of humanity.
Stedman describes what that progression looks like as God steps away and allows men to live as animals. The manifestations may be different from what you would expect: boredom, restlessness, a sense of despair or uselessness, a sense of emptiness accompanied by neurotic fears and unexplainable anxiety, sudden urgings to violence or to injure others, among other things. Man was never intended to know these things. He was never intended to live like this. It was never God's intention that we live out our days in anxiety and neurotic reaction. These are the result of God simply withdrawing the restraint of His grace when He gives men over to their own passions.
Living with Clarity and Precision
So Paul says in Ephesians 5:18 — be careful how you live. Be precise in how you see yourself. Be accurate in your perception of who you are. Let there be clarity. How do we get clarity? How do we understand God's perspective on the world and its spiritual dimensions? How do we understand God's perspective on life in general, and on our own lives specifically?
Gaining God's Perspective Through His Word
Where do I get God's perspective on my life? His Word. Proverbs 9:10 says, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." Proverbs 14:15 tells us that a simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps, to his life. Be careful — that is what He is saying, and He says it all through Scripture. Proverbs 14:12 warns, "There is a way that seems right to men, but it ends in death." Proverbs 14:8 adds, "The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception."
I need God's perspective on life. I need to see things as they really are, and I get it in this Word. That is why we study this Word — we study the Word of God to know the God of the Word. And when we know Him, we begin to see life as He sees it. He gives us this Word and says, here it is; now take it and apply it to everything that comes into your life, every day, in every situation. God has a very clear view of how we should act at work, how the home should be run, how we live — every aspect of it.
Making the Most of Your Time
He comes back in verse 15 and says, "Do not be unwise, but be wise." The beginning of wisdom is to fear God — a reverential awe of Him, seeing Him appropriately — and then to study Him, making the most of your time because the days are evil. That phrase "making the most of your time" is translated in some versions as "redeemed." It means to buy back. Do not waste time. We can extend it all the way out: do not waste a day, a week, a month, a year — do not waste your life. Do not just frivolously spend your life away. Become stewards of your time.
When I say stewardship, you grab your wallet. I know people who have financial advisors, teams of financial advisors, and lawyers who tell them how to maximize their investments. That is fine — that is good. But we can be so diligent about an eighth of a point on an interest rate, and then come to time and waste hours and hours on end. I hear it all the time: "I'm too busy to do what God would have me do." That statement cannot be true.
I can be busy, but I cannot be too busy to do what God has given me to do. If God has given me something to do, He has given me the time to do it. There is no way God is going to call me to something and then not give me the adequate time in my life to redeem it, to buy it back, to fulfill it. Part of being careful is being a good steward of my time.
I need to understand that when I decide to watch Seinfeld, that is something that is not going to get done. If I play a round of golf, by the time I drive to the course, hit some balls, play the round, and have lunch, I have just invested six to eight hours. I am not saying not to play golf or not to watch Seinfeld. I need to understand that time is the number one non-renewable resource we have. Lose twenty dollars and you can go get another twenty dollars. Lose twenty minutes and you cannot get it back.
So when you start saying, "I'm too busy," you had better step back and ask: am I busy doing the things God really wants me to do? Why is my schedule this tight? Let me be bold enough to challenge and ask — are you trying to do too much? God is not going to give you something to do and then not give you the time to get it done. So I have either miscalculated what He has called me to do, added to it, or made it more elaborate than He desires it to be. Do not waste your life. Do not waste your time. Make the most of your time.
The Urgency of Finite Days
The days are evil — and the days are numbered. That is what Paul is saying. There is evil in the world, but there is also finiteness. It is finite. We were here yesterday afternoon for a memorial service for a man I have known for about thirty years. In terms of physical prowess, he was far beyond any of us. He was a swimmer for the United States in the 1968 Olympics and won three golds and a silver. When I first met him it was the middle of summer, and he was wearing a stocking cap because he was bald from chemotherapy. He was filled with cancer, and God took it away, so the idea was that he had beaten the cancer.
I have had these conversations throughout my life in the context of Susan fighting cancer. I do not like the conversation of beating cancer, and here is why: if you beat cancer, something else gets you. If you beat everything, at the end they are going to say you died of old age — your body just wore out. Some of you are going to wear out at 60, some at 70, some at 80, some at 100. The days are evil. There is a finiteness. There is an urgency here.
Advertisers constantly push urgency at you — "If you call in the next twelve minutes, we'll double your order." There are countdown clocks everywhere. Paul is saying: live with a sense of urgency. Live with that drive. Understand that the times are evil and there is real opposition, but that evil and finiteness and urgency provide you with virtually an endless list of opportunities.
When Paul wrote this to the church at Ephesus and said the days are evil, they would have found that striking. The economy had never been better. It was a prosperous time, a time of relative peace.
The Reality of Opposition
Their thinking was advancing. They would say they were the most advanced people who had ever existed. You could fast forward to where we are today and say the same thing. We argue about where the economy is, but even as bad as it is, it is still better than most places in most times — more advanced than we have ever been. They would say we are more open-minded, more progressive in thought. And God says leave it. In the midst of this, there is evil. There is opposition. Do not be surprised.
Here is the way Peter writes it, 1 Peter 4:12: "Do not think it strange concerning the fiery trials of faith which have come upon you as though they're an unusual thing that happened to you." Do not be surprised by this. God brings these things into your life — these difficulties, these hardships.
I just had a long conversation with a man this week. He says he is a Christian, and I believe he is. He was challenging my idea that everything that happens in my life is either caused by or allowed by God. My point is simply this: if that is not true, then He is not God. This man was trying to find some way to account for the existence of evil, but I do not concern myself with that philosophical battle. Either God causes what happens in my life or He allows it, which means He could clearly stop it. And if that is not true, He is not God.
So in the midst of this, God says do not be surprised. This simply provides you with endless opportunities to make the invisible God visible.
Understanding the Will of God
Ephesians chapter 4, verse 15 says, "Be careful how you walk. Don't be unwise, but be wise. Make the most of your time. There's opposition. The days are evil. So then, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of God is."
Well, what is the will of God? We have that discussion all the time. The minute we say "God's will," you start thinking about where you should work, where you should live, where you should go to school, who you should marry, what you should eat. But here is the will of God right here. God has a mysterious will, and by definition it is a mystery — I cannot know it until He reveals it. But God's moral will, how He would have you live morally, ethically, and biblically, is revealed right here in Scripture. You do not have to guess. You do not have to wonder. It is right there. So he says, understand this will.
Let me spend just a moment on that, because often when you think of the will of God, you think of personal decisions. How do you take the moral will of God and apply it to a personal decision? You could apply it anywhere. I always like to use the example of dating — you are seeing someone and asking whether you should marry this person. Ladies, there are 3.5 billion men in the world. Men, there are 3.5 billion women. How do you know that this is the right one? I am convinced she is the right one. I do not think you are going to know with certainty before the wedding. Once you say "I do," then you know that is the one.
Applying God's Moral Will to Marriage
Now God does say this: when you marry somebody, the bare minimum is that they should share your faith. They should be a follower of Christ. There was a young woman in the church who came to see Susan and me. She was dating a man who had asked her to marry him, and she wanted to know if it was God's will for her to marry him. I said, "Well, tell me about him." He was very handsome, very smart, a good businessman, came from good parents — you can fill in the gaps. So I asked, "Where does he go to church?" He did not go to church. Now, can you be a Christian and not go to church? Sure, but I think there is a deficiency there that needs to be examined. I asked her to tell me about his relationship with Christ, and she held her fingers just barely apart and said, "He's that close."
I said, "Sweetheart, if he's that close, he's that far." Does God want you to marry this man? No. That is simple. Done. But she kept saying, "But he's so —" and I told her it did not really matter, because he was not a follower of Christ.
She left. About an hour later the phone rang. I said hello, and a man's voice said, "Is this Tom?" I said yes. He said, "Did you tell her not to marry me? I'd like to come and meet with you." I said, "Really? How big are you?" That did not sound like a conversation I would enjoy. But this story has a wonderful ending, because that meeting brought him face to face with his sin and face to face with God's redemption. And God saved him. Then she wanted to marry him, and I suggested they wait a while and see if it took root. God began to manifest Himself in his life, and today they are an active part of one of the other churches here in town.
The Basics God Sets Before Us
So who does God want you to marry? He tells you, and it is pretty clear. Next week we will get into wives submitting to their husbands and husbands loving their wives, but here is a preview. Wives, he becomes the leader of the house. Say you are out to dinner and the server comes over and asks to take your order. He says he will have a cheeseburger. She says no, spaghetti, she is having spaghetti. He says he is having the cheeseburger. Back and forth, until the server asks what kind of cheese, and they both say, "Can you come back?" If this is the man you are with and he cannot settle the question of a cheeseburger, you probably will not want to submit to his leadership for very long. That is pretty clear. And husbands, love your wives — I do not care how spiritual she is, if you do not even like her, you are probably not going to love her.
Here is what God says. Here are the basics. If they are in place, listen to this — He says do whatever you want to do. There are women out there who know Christ and love Him, and they —
Being Filled with the Holy Spirit
So much of the joy in life is robbed over the idea of finding God's will. Should I go to Stanford? Should I go to Cal? Should I go to UCLA? That was easy for me because I couldn't get into any of those. But rather than saying, "Isn't this amazing? God has given me three amazing options," we are filled with angst over missing the one He wants. Take the one you want. Once I am within God's moral will and moral law, I have great freedom.
Paul says there is a compelling thing in your life — do not let it be the world, but let it be God. Verse 18: "Don't get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery." The word debauchery means there are no limits, there is reckless abandon. Do not be drunk with wine or any substance that is going to alter your mind and control your life. That is the issue — what is going to control and drive your life. This is consistent with everything we have looked at throughout this book: do not be driven by that.
Instead of being controlled by wine, be filled with the Holy Spirit. It is the idea of what is controlling me, what is driving me. It is a picture of setting a sail — the Spirit is the wind that drives the sail and moves the boat. Paul is not talking about some kind of experience at either extreme, whether highly emotional or completely stoic. He is saying: my life is controlled and driven by God.
Being filled is a continuing, ongoing process. When I come to Christ in repentance and faith, the Spirit of God indwells me — the Holy Spirit is in me. The being filled is the idea of being driven by Him. It is something He does to us, though we can stop it cold. Chapter 4, verse 30 tells us how: I grieve the Holy Spirit when I rebel and sin. But when I let God move in my life, He is the one driving me.
One author writes: "To be filled with the Spirit of God involves confession of sin, surrender of will, intellect, body, time, talent, possessions, and desires. It requires the death of selfishness and the slaying of self-will. When we die to self, the Lord fills us with His Spirit. The principle stated by John the Baptist applies to the Spirit as well as to Christ: He must increase and I must decrease."
Wisdom, Understanding, and the Spirit-Filled Life
Take the whole context of what we have looked at today. I carefully, accurately, and precisely look at my life. I am driven not in an unwise way, but in a wise one. It manifests itself in that I am not foolish, but I understand the will of God. God takes His Word and His Spirit and applies it to the heart of His people — the most powerful force in the world. Now I am driven and controlled not by my own instincts or by some substance, but I am filled with the Holy Spirit.
Paul says this manifests itself in three ways. The first is found here: "Speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing, making melody with your heart to the Lord." The evidence of a Spirit-filled life is worship. It is a heart that has been transformed.
As part of the leadership team, we wrestle — imperfectly and fallibly — for your soul and for what God would have for you. And here is what I know: God wants us to be worshipful people. That is going to manifest itself in many different ways, and part of that is the music we use.
Because of the way our services are structured, there is another service running simultaneously on the other end of campus. Joel opened us with a call to worship, and the band will come in and close our time in worshiping the Lord. That is not an opening and closing act. Worship is the byproduct of a grateful, thankful, God-dependent, broken, Spirit-filled heart.
During the first hour I watched someone sitting there reading the bulletin during worship. I do not understand it. You can read the bulletin at the stoplight at McQueen and Elliott — you will have a chance there. In a few minutes you are going to respond to what God has done in your heart over the last 45 minutes. The whole idea is that God gets bigger and bigger. We do not have to worry about you getting smaller — as He gets bigger, you naturally get smaller. And the response to that is to speak to one another, react to one another, and to sing. You may not like the beat — it does not matter. There are fifteen different preferences we cannot all satisfy. This is what we have. Take it. It is an overflow of the heart.
Always Giving Thanks
The second manifestation Paul describes is this: always give thanks for all things. That seems counterintuitive. "Praise Jesus, I lost my job" does not feel natural. It is not — it is supernatural.
Paul writes something similar in 1 Thessalonians chapter 5: "We urge you, brethren, encourage the faint-hearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. See that no one repays another evil for evil, but always seeks after that which is good for one another and for all people. Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks, for that is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
If you want to know the will of God, there it is: in everything, give thanks. Give thanks in the good. Give thanks in the bad. We instinctively at least throw God a bone when things are going well.
Giving Thanks in Every Circumstance
Even in the midst of the worst circumstances we can begin to describe — a marriage that struggles, kids that are in rebellion, friendships that are broken, jobs that are lost, health that has gone away, danger around every corner — He says give thanks. Why? Because in everything, God is working on you and in you and through you. So even in the midst of a job that was lost, we can give thanks, because God's ultimate desire is to bring us into union with Him, and that trial is going to deepen that union.
Consider your prayer life and dependence upon Him. It is deeper in a time of unemployment than in full employment. When the deal closes, we say, "Thank you, Jesus." When it doesn't, He says, "I want you to be thankful."
You may not even fully understand it. I don't necessarily know what He's doing in all things. I don't know why that sickness is there. But in its overarching understanding, this is not meant to be a bumper sticker — it is for your good and His glory that it's happening.
He may take you on a journey you don't understand and would never pick. You may be confused. He may even seem confused, like He doesn't know what He's doing. But I know that He does. He doesn't have to prove Himself to me every day. He is God whether I acknowledge it or not. He is in control whether I agree with it or not.
Pessimism, Hope, and Letting God Hold the Eraser
You all know, having spent enough time with me, that I am the most pessimistic person around. Every silver lining has a cloud, and I am determined to find it, expose it, and make you drag through it with me. Someone said the other day, "You're not very hopeful." No — I am very hopeful. I am just pessimistic. I don't think the Republicans are going to be much different than the Democrats. I don't think if I get this job it's the answer.
You know it in your own life. How many times have you said, "God, if I just had that right there" — if she would just take my call, if she would just go out with me, if she would just go steady, if she would just marry me, if she would just leave? I go through the whole process. He keeps not giving you what you say you want. You say, "I want this," and He says, "No, you don't." And sometimes you'll violate His principles to get it, because you had to have it — and now you've got it.
How many of those things have there been in your life where you had to have it, where it was number one, where you told yourself, "If I don't get this, I'll die"? He finally gives it to you, and you realize it didn't mean anything. Your closets are filled with that stuff. Your garage is filled with that stuff. And here's what's even more damaging — your heart is filled with that stuff. Your heart is filled up with a bunch of things you had to have, had to have, had to have. He finally gave them to you and said, "You know what? You don't need that."
Now, in the midst of this, we come to the place where we say, "God, you're right. I didn't need that." And then we say, "I give up. God, I'm going to work. I'm going to plan. I'm going to be diligent. I'm going to write those plans — and I'm going to write them in pencil, because You hold the eraser. You're in charge." That doesn't mean we don't ask questions. But so often, straining to figure out exactly what God is doing is just a waste of brain cells. I am not committing intellectual suicide. I am simply acknowledging that He is in control.
So should I be thankful in the middle of cancer? Yes. Why? Because God is working on you, and He is working in you — and as He works on you and in you, He is going to work through you to touch other people's lives.
Yielding to One Another
He closes this section and says to be in subjection to one another, to be yielding to one another. Literally, He gives us the basic remedy for all of the conflicts we have in our interpersonal relationships. From there He moves into the practical: wives submit to your husbands in verse 22, husbands love your wives in verse 25, children obey your parents in chapter 6 verse 1, slaves obey those who are over you in verse 5, and in verse 9 He even addresses masters and the subject of work. But the overriding principle underlying all of it is to yield.
Doing What's Best for Me
All week I heard about LeBron. I am a sports fan — more of an observer, really — and I have no strong view on whether LeBron should go to Cleveland, Miami, or anywhere else. It is worth noting that if he went to New York his personal income tax would have been twelve and a half million dollars, if he went to Ohio it would have been six million dollars, and if he went to Miami it would be zero. There is a whole tax issue there, but I will leave that alone.
What was interesting was the thought process. Finally, he said it: "I just have to do what's best for me." Is that the driving motive for everything? When all I do is sit around thinking about how to do what is best for me, how fulfilled I can be — when my vocabulary is just a string of singular personal pronouns — unless those pronouns are "I'm sorry" and "I was wrong," something is deeply off.
Filled With the Spirit
I confess that when you are asking questions like that, you are ignoring the obvious, and that is the relationship with the people around you. Being in subjection to one another — how much of your relationship, and I'll go down this road a lot, is wasted on things that just don't matter? I watch people fight over where they are going to eat, what movie they should see. Who cares? Go to whatever one you want. They are going to show it again. They are going to have it on DVD. You can buy it. You have 500 channels at home. You can pay per view it. What difference does it make?
If I am going to dinner with somebody, I want to be with them. I don't care what we eat. If I don't like it, I'll eat when I get home. I don't care what movie it is. I don't care what we meet for — coffee, dinner, anything. Be submissive and in subjection to one another. Here is what he is saying: you are the 10W-40 in every relationship. You are not the one causing the friction. You are the one alleviating the friction.
Now he is not talking about being a spiritual milquetoast, blown in the wind. He is not saying there is no conviction here. But he is saying that in these relationships, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with one another. You don't have to balance the scales. Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.
Be Careful How You Live
Here is what God says to us in this passage: be careful how you live — slice, dice, scrutinize. Be wise, not fools. Don't waste your time, because you only have so much of it. Be driven not by your own lusts, and not by some substance, but be filled with the Holy Spirit. That is what is driving you.
How do I know? My worship has changed. My whole view of how I deal with each other has changed. The whole way I respond to everything around me is different. My life is now characterized by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control — not by impurity and debauchery and all the things that go with that.
Are you filled with the Spirit of God? First of all, do you know Him? If you know Him, the Spirit indwells you, and it is a matter of obediently surrendering my life and my will to His. God, You tell me what You want — that is what drives this. It is not me going to God saying, "Here is what I want, now move over here," but rather surrendering to Him. That surrender shows itself in the relationships around me.
Looking Ahead
Next week we will look at wives and husbands, husbands loving your wives. The following week we will talk about kids and the workplace. Then, after that, we are going to talk about spiritual warfare and how we battle in that.
Now we respond to what we have just heard. Our hearts should be filled, hopefully as God works in them, with gratitude and thanksgiving. Begin to see Him and be filled with gratitude.
Let's pray as Tim and the team come and lead us in a time of worship. Father, thank You for Your grace and mercy and love, for what You have brought into our lives, that we would be filled with and driven by Your Spirit. God, thank You again that we can call You Father, that You love us and care for us. God, we pray that our lives would be evidence of Your transforming power. God, we pray that to You in Christ's name. Amen.