A Few Drinks Never Hurt Anyone
Tom Shrader uses the story of Ben-Hadad's drunken defeat in 1 Kings 20 to illustrate how alcohol compromises spiritual vigilance and decision-making. He explains that while Scripture doesn't explicitly forbid drinking, believers must evaluate behaviors by asking whether they glorify God and edify others. The teaching emphasizes that destructive habits often begin with the assumption that 'a little won't hurt' and calls Christians to live as children of the King under public scrutiny.
“You can get sober, but if you don't fear God, you're just going to be sober in hell.”
— Tom Shrader
Series: Dumb Mistakes: How to Avoid Them (2017)
Recorded: September 28, 2017
Duration: 37 min
Themes: alcohol, vigilance, temptation, wisdom, decisions, mistakes, habits, compromise, struggling with alcohol, making poor decisions, new believer, parent, young adult, feeling compromised, pastor, mentor
Scripture: 1 Kings 20:1-22, Proverbs 23, 1 Corinthians 10:23, 1 Corinthians 10:31
Theological Themes: sanctification, becoming holy, biblical living, christian liberty, spiritual warfare, transformation, edification, glorifying god
Full Transcript
Session 2 of what will be 8 weeks. The title of this series is Dumb Mistakes, and the subtitle is How to Avoid Them. Our premise is you can learn from other people's mistakes. It's a relatively inexpensive and effective way to learn, and I love it, and it's part of what God does for me in my life and my job.
We said last week we had no debate about what dumb mistake number one was, and that is a failure to fear God. Or said another way, a failure to understand God and who He is and to respond accordingly. There are two groups of people in the world. There's biblical Christians, and then there's everybody else.
Biblical Christians are those who understand, and this is really important, that Jesus did not die to make bad people good. He died to make dead people alive. Jesus didn't come to die so that we would kind of morally be reconstructed. He didn't reform us. We were transformed. Our lives were changed radically.
My son-in-law's been using this phrase, which I'm sure he got somewhere else, but he said what we're trying to do as followers of Christ is push back the effects of the fall. So as a result of the fall, there's hurt and pain and suffering around us. We're here to be salt and light in the midst of that.
The Difference Between Biblical Christianity and Religion
As opposed to biblical Christianity as religion, all shapes and sizes and variations, which is all about behavior to try to make God happy. I can't be good enough to please God to where He would wipe out the effect of my sin. You get that? That's by grace. But now that He saved me, my life is to be transformed.
That's a perfect setup for these eight weeks because if you don't get this first week right, fear God, we're going to talk today about a couple of drinks, and we'll expand that. Next week we're going to talk about lust. Here you go. You can get sober, but if you don't fear God, you're just going to be sober in hell. You can be celibate, but if you don't fear God, you're just going to be celibate in hell. So now you're going to be miserable in hell and miserable here. You got nothing going for you at this point.
So here's what we're talking about. The first one is to establish this theological truth, and now we'll deal with behavior because God's now given me the power to be the man He called me to be or the man or woman He called you to be.
Dumb Mistake Number Two
So here's dumb mistake number two. We'll look at a background, the mistake, the result, a principle, and a solution. And today I want to play a little bit loose in that I'm going to have you have to do some application because although we're talking about a couple of drinks here, it could be a whole variety of other behaviors that would have essentially the same result.
Here's the background. The background is found in 1 Kings 20, verse 1. And I'll let you turn there, those of you that have Bibles, and we'll spend some time here in 1 Kings.
Now Ben-Hadad, the king of Aram, mustered an entire army, accompanied by 32 kings with their horses and chariots. He went up to besiege Samaria and attacked it.
The Context of Israel's Divided Kingdom
Now when we talk about Samaria here, the nation of Israel is now split. There's 12 tribes. There's two to the south, 10 to the north. These are the tribes in the north. So you'll hear them referred to as Israelites. That's what this is. They've had a series of not so hot kings and Ben-Hadad is coming. He's got an essence here, really an alliance here that's coming against them.
He sends a message to Ahab, the king of Israel, saying, this is what Ben-Hadad said. So you get the people, pretty easy to figure out. You've got two players at this point. Ben-Hadad, Ahab. Your silver and gold are mine and your best wives and children are mine.
Now what you don't yet know, but you're going to figure this out pretty quickly, is that Ben-Hadad has 130,000 soldiers. He's surrounded Ahab and 7,000 soldiers. So they're massively outnumbered. Their defeat is inevitable in any sort of human sense. So in essence, he's giving him here the terms of surrender. And I kind of like his style. Your gold are mine, silver are mine, and your best wives. You keep the mediocre ones and the not so good ones. I want the best ones. Now he doesn't say what the best ones are, but we can kind of imagine.
Ahab's Response to the Demands
The king of Israel said, just as you say, my lord, the king, and I and all I have are yours. So he says, obviously, we're in real trouble here. So take my wives, please.
The messenger comes again and said, this is what Ben-Hadad says. I sent a demand of gold and silver in your wives and children, but about this time tomorrow, I'm going to send my officials to search your palace. Now he's expanding him here. And the houses of your officials, and they will seize everything you value and carry it away.
So the king of Israel summons all his guys together and says, see how this man is looking for trouble? When he sent for my wives and children and silver and gold, I didn't refuse him. And the elder said, don't listen to him or agree to his demands.
So he replied to Ben-Hadad's messengers, tell my lord, the king, your servant will do all you demanded the first time, but I cannot meet this other demand for me.
A Historical Parallel
And there's a wonderful historical kind of parallel here that you may or may not get it. During the Cuban Missile Crisis, Khrushchev sent a message to Kennedy with a list of demands and requests and all that were with it. While they were sitting, the best and the brightest, trying to sort all this out, Khrushchev sent a second message. It almost is a perfect parallel to this.
And they're sitting in a room and they're going, oh my gosh, because they kind of were figuring out the first one. I don't remember any details. I just remember listening to this and going, this is pretty smart. They were pretty comfortable that they could figure out this first stuff, but the second step had stuff in it they said is not acceptable. And after some conversation over a period of days, Bobby Kennedy
said, "Well, let's ignore the second message and answer the first message." I used to be into reading a lot of that stuff and I would go, "That's brilliant. I got to remember that sometime." When I read this the very first time, I thought, well, and then I almost said he stole it from First Kings, but I doubt it. He just figured it out.
So they left and they took the answer back to Ben-Hadad. Ben-Hadad sent another message. So you get what's going on here. "May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if enough dust remains in Samaria to give each of my men a handful."
As you work your way through different Old Testament stories, you'll see that little phrase, "may the gods deal with me," or "may God deal with me." Obviously here, this is a pagan—gods plural—but what you have is an oath. What he's saying is, "I swear to God, I'm going to wipe you out." He uses a little hyperbole here, but you get the picture. There's not going to be enough of you and your guys for my men to even scrape together a handful of your dust.
The King of Israel answered and said, "Tell the one who puts on his armor that he should not boast like the one who takes it off." You wouldn't know it without some study, but it's a play on a proverb of the day that went like this: "Let not the one who begins a fight boast prematurely." Somewhere in there, from "take my wives and my gold and my silver," somewhere in there, Ahab gets just a little bit of confidence and certainly says, "Don't get cocky over this thing."
The Drunken Mistake
So that's the background. First Kings 20, verse 12, here's dumb mistake number two. "Ben-Hadad heard this message while he and the other kings were drinking in the tents, and he ordered his men, 'Prepare to attack.'"
I don't have a clue how any of this took place, but I can just see all these guys in this tent and one of them going, "Who are these guys? Prepare to attack." I don't know. It fits for me. So they prepared to attack.
Meanwhile, the prophet came to Ahab, King of Israel, and pronounced, "This is what the Lord says: Do you see that vast army?" Again, it doesn't say it in here, but I got to believe at this point, they're saying, "Are you kidding? That's all I see. All I see are 132,000 of these guys. They're wiping me out. They're taking my gold and silver, my best wives. Are you kidding me? Do I see it? Yeah."
"I will give it into your hands today. And then you will know that I am the Lord."
God's Demonstration of Power
We're going to see that phrase twice today. God's going to do something. I don't think He's giving us some sort of strategy. I don't think if you're a Petraeus or any of the guys in Iraq, you ought to be reading this story and go, "Oh, this is a great military strategy." I think what He's doing is allowing us a wonderful picture—obviously these people, but us still today—a wonderful picture to see how mighty God is.
"I'm going to do this. It's absolutely impossible, humanly speaking. I'm going to take care of these guys. I'm going to deliver them to you. And you know what? Then you'll know that I'm God."
God demonstrates His power and love again and again and again. You could not have a more powerful demonstration of His love and care and grace for you than what we celebrate Sunday. I mean, think with me for a second. If Jesus rose from the dead, and He did, then I'd better listen to everything that He says. Everything that He says about Himself, and everything that He says about me.
Don't be afraid of this resurrection thing. I understand that if you're sitting at Starbucks and you're talking to somebody about the resurrection, they're going to go, "Well, I don't believe that." "Why don't you believe that?" "Well, because people don't rise from the dead." That's a pretty strong argument, to be honest with you, because nobody before or since has really done this, have they?
Just go to Google and Google "facts about the resurrection," and my guess is you may have to work down one or two or three. I'll bet you don't have to go to the second page, and you're going to find article after article that are going to go, "Here are the historical facts about the resurrection." How can there be historical facts about the resurrection? Because it was a historical event, just like Gettysburg, just like Normandy. It was an accurate, historic event. Jesus rose from the dead.
Why did He do that? Well, He conquered death, but that empty tomb demonstrates to us the power of God. "You will know that I'm God." God's going to demonstrate Himself to these guys.
The Unlikely Army
He said, "But who will do this, Ahab?" And the prophet replied, "This is what the Lord says. The young officers of the provincial command will do it." And then Ahab asks really a cool question. "Who's going to start this battle?" Because I don't see us doing this. This doesn't make sense to me. "You will."
Ahab summoned the young officers of the provincial commands, 232 men, and he assembled the rest of the Israelites, 7,000 in all. They set out at noon when Ben-Hadad and the 32 kings allied with him were in the tents getting drunk.
So here it's noon. These boys ought to be vigilant. They've already said it's time to attack. But it's Miller time. They're having some fun. It's happy hour. I used to work with a guy who kept his watch on East Coast time so that when we'd stop at 9 or 10 in the morning to get a drink, he'd go, "Eh, it's noon." It's always noon somewhere, that kind of attitude.
The Scouts' Report
Ben-Hadad dispatched the scouts and said, "Men are advancing from Samaria." So do you get it? They're sitting in the room. They're drinking. And someone goes, "Hey, you're not going to believe this. This has got to work to our advantage. They're getting ready to attack us."
Again, I read into the story. But look at verse 18. Here's some interesting advice. "If they come out for peace, take them alive. If they come out
A Devastating Military Defeat
For war, take them alive. What? I wrote, "This is the Johnny Walker Red war strategy." This is very confusing to me. The young officers and provisional commands marched out of the city, and the armies behind them, and each one struck. All of a sudden, the army of Ben-Hadad is fleeing. The army of Ahab is pursuing Him. But Ben-Hadad the king escaped on horseback. The king of Israel advanced, overpowered the chariots and the horses, and inflicted heavy losses.
Here's what we're going to find out. He essentially wiped out this army of 130,000 men. Dumb mistake number two: It never occurred to Him that a few drinks were going to hurt Him. And what did it cost Him?
The Price of Total Failure
Look at verse 22. We're still in 1 Kings 20. It cost Him total failure. Afterwards, the prophet came to Israel and said, "Now strengthen your position. See what must be done, because next spring"—this is when they would fight their wars. A little more civil warfare than we have now. They would fight their wars almost exclusively in the spring and summer. Climate, environment, everything was better. And they just kind of replenished themselves in the rest of the year. "The king of Aram will attack you."
So here comes again the prophet to Ahab and says He's coming again. Meanwhile, if this is a play, are you following this? It's not that tough, but I'm probably not doing a good job. The scene shifts now. The officials of Ben-Hadad are gathered together to advise Him.
Ben-Hadad's Strategic Analysis
So what He's done is got the rest of the guys together and said, "What the heck happened? How did we lose? How did we have 130,000 guys and they had 7,000 and we got wiped out?"
Here's their answer: "Their gods are the gods of the hill. That is why they were too strong for us. But if we fight them on the plain, surely we will be stronger." Do this. Verse 24: "Remove all the kings from their commands. Replace them with other officers. You must also raise up an army like the one you lost. Horse for horse, chariot for chariot. So we can fight Israel on the plains. Then surely we'll be stronger than they are." And He agreed.
Round Two: An Even Greater Defeat
The next spring, Ben-Hadad mustered this army. The Israelites also mustered their army. The Israelites camped opposite like two flocks of goats on the countryside. The armies are pitted against one another: 7,000, 130,000.
The man of God came up and told the king of Israel, "This is what the Lord says: Because they think that He is the Lord or the God of the hills and not the God of the valleys, I will deliver this vast army into your hand." Why would He do that? "So that you will know that I'm the Lord."
Seven days they camped opposite one another. The attack comes. The Israelites kill 100,000. Now they begin to run. They come into the city and the wall—probably a Lois Bitter deal—and the wall collapses on them. 27,000 and they're done.
The Dangerous Nature of Alcohol
Here's this stuff. Does this mean if you have a drink or two that this is going to be destructive and your life's going to fall apart? No. But you're playing with something very dangerous. If you think this stuff isn't going to make much difference in your life, you better get a heads up.
Let me tell you, I would assume none of you in here are smoking marijuana and on meth. I don't know that. But you don't look like the type to me. But let me tell you, these kids we're dealing with, they're so far gone on this stuff. And do you understand nobody starts this going, "Hey, you know what, I think I'll really screw up my life and see if I can ruin it." That's the whole point here.
It's the principle on your outline. Proverbs chapter 23. I'm going to give you a second to turn there, because there's a great, just kind of practical lesson and teaching there and then the truth we're looking at.
The Principle: Alcohol Endangers Life
Proverbs chapter 23. And the principle is this: Alcohol doesn't enrich life, it endangers it. Now, obviously, we're talking about a potential here. I want to make sure, because I'm going to come back and we're going to talk about R-rated movies and all this other stuff and should I see these things and should I have a drink. Because this is starting to sound, "Tom, like you're telling me no booze. Are you telling me I can't have a glass of wine with dinner? Are you telling me I shouldn't have any beer? Are you telling me this?" And you could expand it right into these other behaviors.
Should I see an R-rated movie? For years, the Baptists in particular were saying no R-rated movies, no R-rated movies, no R-rated movies. And then the Passion of Christ came out and they were buying theaters and having all their people go see an R-rated movie. So you begin to see you've got to kind of figure some of this out. Maybe common sense will be important.
Solomon's Six Questions
Proverbs chapter 23. Six questions. It's a great teaching tool. So here's what Solomon asked: Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaints? Who has needless bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes?
Here's the answer: "Those who linger over the wine, who go to sample the bowl of mixed wines." Here's the advice: "Don't gaze at wine when it's red, when it's most alluring." By the way, also, at least in the wine they produced, and the most powerful. "When it sparkles in the cup, when it goes down smoothly." Why not? "Because in the end, it bites like a snake and poisons like a viper."
A Personal Revelation
Somebody the other day said, "If you could change anything in the world, what would you change other than everybody needs to love Jesus?" So what they were saying is this. And I was shocked at what came out of my mouth. It was I would get rid of all the booze. And it's not like I'm some prude. I don't think I am.
But we were talking today. You all know I've never been to school for any of this stuff. And I don't know much about a lot of things. But I feel like I got a Ph.D. in this topic. I was talking to a friend of mine who's an assistant chief of police one day. And we were talking about booze. And He made this comment. He said, "I've never been on
The Reality of Alcohol's Destructive Power
This stuff is just destructive. It just ruins lives. I cannot tell you the number of calls I have gone on as a police officer or sent someone out on a domestic violence call that does not have alcohol in the center of it.
Some of you not only can say amen, you can go, "Let me tell you about my wife and kids because it cost me that. Let me tell you about my job because it cost me that." And there's some sense of truth of how much fun that is. If this stuff wasn't fun, it wouldn't have that lure to you. But the idea is it's ultimately destructive.
You remember that little midget Dudley Moore who's taller than me probably. But remember Arthur, the little boy? Well, Arthur too, when that came out, they did an interview with Dudley Moore. And here's what he said. He was talking about Arthur. He said, "You can't judge Arthur in real life terms. He's a nice alcoholic. Perhaps that doesn't exist in life. He never drinks and drives. He never becomes violent. He never becomes morose or disgusting. We were very careful about that. His boozing was just a device that let him be outrageous."
That's the problem. It looks so good. We can expand this. We're going to talk about Lot next week. But it looks so good. The front is seductive, but do you see how destructive this is? How would I get into that? It looks so good. It'll never happen to me. I'm the exception. Everybody that I deal with thinks they're the exception.
The Progression of Destructive Behavior
Who's got sorrow? Who's got strife? Here's the one who's out here engaged in this potentially destructive behavior. Who's got physical problems, bloodshot eyes, needless bruises? I mean, I remember waking up going, "How in the world did I get all beat up? I must have hit something with my head." And then this is like flashbacks.
Here's what He says, talking about now you begin to drink. Your eyes will see strange sights. Your mind begins to imagine confusing things. You'll be like one sleeping in the high seas. You ever have that? Where you just hit the pillow and you're there for a minute, all of a sudden you're going, "Oh my gosh."
"They hit me, but I don't hurt. I'm fine." Well, you got blood just pouring out all over you. "They beat me, but I don't feel it. When will I wake up?" Why? So I can go get another one of these.
Now, are we saying that everybody who has a drink becomes an alcoholic? Obviously not. We're not stupid. But it begins to raise some very important questions.
The Solution: A Biblical Framework
Let me do two things. Let me give you a solution here and then kind of just unpack some practical things beyond this. Here's the solution. Boy, is this a no-brainer. Stop it. Eliminate the destructive behavior.
Again, I'm giving you an opportunity to turn in your Bibles. This is important, 1 Corinthians 10. If you are a Bible person, and if you have one with you, you obviously are, somewhere in your Bible, like this is the first study Bible I ever had. So if you get to the front of this, I know you can't see it in the back, but if you get to the front of this, you just see a bunch of handwriting. And what these were were verses or comments that kept coming up again and again and again. I went, "Okay, that's significant. I better get it."
We're about to give you one of those. It's 1 Corinthians 10, verse 31. You've got to get it, because this is important. Here's the principle: "Whether then you eat or drink, whatever you do, you do it for the glory of God."
Now, if I go up a little further, 1 Corinthians 10, verse 23: "All things are lawful, not all things are profitable." How do I figure out what to do or not do? Well, "All things are lawful, but not all things edify." Is this edifying? "Let no one seek His own good, but that of His neighbor." Well, now I have some handles so I can begin to make some decisions.
Biblical Guidelines for Christian Liberty
Let me read this again from the NIV. "Everything is permissible, not everything is beneficial." Now, when He says everything here, He's not saying adultery is permissible. What He's talking about is behavior, but He's really talking about, again, in the context here of life as a follower of Christ. "Everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive."
Again, from the NIV, down to verse 31: "Whether you eat or drink, do it for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, for I'm not seeking my own good, but the good of many, so they may be saved." He started talking about dealing with these freedoms of life.
Are you free to have a glass of wine with dinner? Absolutely. You can't find a verse in there that says... In fact, didn't Paul say to Timothy, "Drink a little wine"? Well, it was medicinal, just so you know. So today He'd say, "Take a little Pepto-Bismol," okay? But did He say that? Didn't Jesus turn water into wine?
Addressing Common Arguments
I remember one of Larry's heroes was J. Vernon McGee. Some of you will remember that name. Many of you, if you're cool, you won't, but many of you will remember that name. So J. Vernon McGee was coming to town and He was speaking at Bethany Bible Church, and Larry said, "Okay, Tommy, we're going to go see J. Vernon McGee. J. Vernon McGee's cool. You're going to love J. Vernon McGee." And now, again, it's just incredible. Now, you just Google it and you'd have everything from J. Vernon McGee.
So J. Vernon McGee walks in and He had that, "Hello, righty-o, friends." He spent 20 minutes trying to explain that when Jesus turned water into wine, it wasn't alcohol wine, it was grape juice. And I said to Larry, "I've got to go to the bathroom." Man, I don't need this. I mean, I'm out on a night. I mean, it was wine. You can study it a thousand ways. I think it's wine.
Is that an endorsement? No, that's kind of what they did. If you're 12, you're drinking wine. We can get into all of these things and unpack them, but there's something inherently evil there. It isn't going to be, they're not going to be using it like that.
So the question is, is it okay to have a glass of wine with dinner?
that question because I think it sterilizes the issue. Let's do it this way. Is it all right to go to Buffalo Wings and have a beer and a shot while you watch the game? Because it's the same thing. The wine thing just makes it more expensive. It's the same question, isn't it?
And I'm telling you, when you go to this scripture, you're not going to find one verse that says it's wrong to have that glass of wine. Almost everybody I'm with when we go out has a glass of wine. I don't drink. And I'm going to give you three reasons why.
Why I Don't Drink
Number one, I tend to end up in jail. Now, I found out that long-term hurts the ministry. So I thought, let's not do this again. Plus they've tightened the laws. I'm telling you, the stuff I did 25 or 30 years ago, if you did that now, I'd be gone. I wouldn't be here - I'd be gone a long time.
Here's the second thing, and it's not an issue anymore because my girls are older. But I never wanted that awkward moment. Let's say it's a hot summer day. I've just played golf. I shot 75. All right, 77. So I come home and it's hot. And you know this, nothing would taste better than a beer. And so you grab a beer and in comes my daughter, who's 18 and says, "Can I have one?" And I say, "Well, no, you can't." "Why can't I have one?" "Well, you're not 21." "I'm old enough to fight in Vietnam." I don't want to have the argument.
The third reason I don't drink is because you can't handle it. We had a wedding and a wedding reception the other day at church with no booze. If you came to that wedding reception and saw one bottle of beer, you would have said, "These people are blasted out of their mind." We had so much fun. We're dancing and doing the YMCA and all the old stuff and just having a ball.
Thinking About Others
So here's what I think you do have to think about - people who are watching you and the people around you. None of this is to put guilt on you. It's like the discussion on contentment. Y'all got to figure this out. And don't worry about me. You're not going to offend me.
It's like dating. I do the same thing with dating. I was talking to a person the other day and they're starting to date and they said, "Is it all right to date a non-believer?" I said, "You know, I got no Bible for you. Here's what I have for you. Yeah, I can't marry one, right?" I mean, wouldn't we agree? Anybody that's around the scripture for any length of time is going to go, "Okay, I can't marry one."
So now I start to think like a rational human. Most people I know who were married were engaged and most people who are engaged dated seriously. And most people dated seriously dated casually. And most people dated casually had a first date. So, especially if you're like 25, I mean, why are you dating? "Well, I want companionship." Get a dog. Better than that. Because I should - I went for a cheap joke there. First of all, get a fish because they'll die faster than the dog. Now you got to go home and feed the dog and He'll be next door to me barking.
The Real Issue with Dating Non-Believers
But you're going to have more intimate companionship if that's what you want - if you're a gal, you're going to have more of that with a gal than with a guy. Because any intimate companionship dialogue He's given you is just to work you over to get you to bed. I mean, that's how men are, they're pukes. They just are, I am one, I know how they think. And a guy, I mean, if you really get down and honest, you can have that more real, serious dialogue with a guy.
Well, why would I go? Because if I'm 25, the only reason to be dating is if I'm thinking this is like somebody I'm going to spend some time with long-term. And I understand you may have to do this preliminary interview process. But would I be dating one of them who wasn't a believer?
Well, how am I going to know if they're a believer? Here, let me tell you this. If you ask me, "Are you a believer? Was that important to you?" "Yes, oh yeah, I am." I mean, these guys are slimy. I mean, gals are alive, people lied, did you know that? People will tell you they love you when they really don't. So you say, "Really, tell me about that relationship with Christ. Tell me where you go to church. Tell me about the last three books you read outside the Bible that really had an impact on your life." "Well, I don't..." Don't get involved. Because you're going to fall for this person and now you can't complete what you started.
The Problem with Rules
Is it all right to go to R-rated movies? Well, Passion of the Christ was an R-rated movie and I think it was a fairly edifying story. See why we don't have a lot... This is me now. See why I don't have a bunch of rules? Because if you make a rule, you really should follow it. And life just isn't that clean anymore, is it? It's not just that simple anymore.
But He gives you the principle. You can ask yourself these questions. Here you go. Is it edifying? Is it going to be a stumbling block for others?
Years ago, we were up at Prescott and we're out for dinner. And I got Susan, the girls, and I'm meeting a friend of mine who is just this wonderful guy. And we're at this restaurant. "Can I get you something to drink?" Yes, we order. And so the girls have their little things. Susan has a cup of coffee. He had a Miller Lite. So I grabbed the Miller Lite from the ladies' tray. I turn around like this to give it to Him. And the organist from church is there. And you can tell by the look in her face that there's a problem here. So I said, "Just a second, who had the Miller Lite?" "I had the Diet Coke." Boom.
Now here's what I want you to see. I had every right to go, "Hey, you know, hey, there's a piano. Play a little of that amazing grace." I got every right to go down that path. The problem was all you had to do was look at her face. She couldn't handle it. Again, to make this even more complicated, the one who thought they were...
The spiritually superior person was actually the weaker brother. But that's a different story. I am so free in my relationship with Christ that I'm not afraid to put restrictions on that freedom.
Here's what I do know. Does everybody who has a drink end up like this? Heck no. I'll bet if we ask around this room, there's a ton of you that have beer in the refrigerator. The question they ask is, is it edifying? Does it glorify God?
Because when you start messing with this stuff, sometimes it starts to cost you dearly. And really, the question is, what's it going to do with that person? Here's what's interesting. For some people who don't know Christ, you having a beer with them almost enhances the relationship. That's an odd thing too. You see how complicated this is?
Follow Your Gut
Here's what you need to do. Oh my gosh, is this dangerous. Follow your gut. You'll know. You'll know.
When somebody calls me so often and says, I'm looking for some advice on something. Do you think I should? Almost always I'll say, what do you think you ought to do? Because the reason you're calling me generally isn't because you're confused. Something in you is telling you not to do it and you're waiting for me to say it's okay.
Interesting stuff, huh? But there's the principle. Whether we eat or drink, whatever we do, we glorify God in every aspect of our life.
Everyone Is Watching
Let me offer one more practical thing just for you to think about. If you go into your office or your neighborhood or the gym or the family reunion and you start talking about Bible study in church and all this stuff, I want you to understand everybody is watching you.
I spent a lot of time over the years with pastors and a lot of them have kids who resent this whole thing and people judge me by a harder standard. You know that. You know the discussion, right?
We sat down with our girls early on and said, okay, here's the deal. Everybody is going to judge you by a higher standard. You aren't every other kid. You're God's kid. Now, in reality, they ought to be judging you by the standard they judge everybody, but they're not going to.
And you know what? This is not a problem. That's not fair. No, it's totally fair. You said you're a child of the King. Act like it. Our kids got no sympathy on anything. They got no sympathy on that. And they didn't ask for it.
It's a Privilege
They asked, gosh, this doesn't seem fair. And we would say, no, it's exactly fair because you said you're a child of the King and we've said, listen, imitate us as we imitate Christ. They're going to watch you, man, and you better have it together.
Oh, that's so much pressure. They never said that once. I said, girls, it's a privilege to be in the position you're in. And because of that, as they're watching you, it's going to give you opportunity after opportunity after opportunity.
I remember Haley never dated. Haley never had a date until she met Tyler and got married. And I would go down the hallway and she'd be on the phone giving dating advice to the girls that would call her. These girls in her class called her all the time. You know why? Because they saw something different.
And I'd walk in and she'd say, I don't think you ought to, whatever. And she'd put her hand on the phone and go, oh my gosh, girls. And she'd go, blah, blah, blah. But they saw it.
Look Like the Redeemer
Isn't that what you say? Isn't that in your heart what you say? I want people to see me. I want people to see Christ in me. I want to make a difference in the kingdom.
If you want to make a difference in the kingdom, you're going to have to act like a child of the King. Kierkegaard, as some Christians were witnessing to Him, His response was this. If you want me to be redeemed, you need to look a little more like the Redeemer.
Next week, almost a continuation of this, Confusion, Lust, and Love. We'll take a look at it next week.
Father, thank You for these wonderful truths. Thank You for loving us and saving us. Thank You for models like Ben-Hadad and Ahab. God, I pray that in our life, we would have those moments where we would stop and be able to say, we've seen Your work. We know it's real. We know it's real because You say it. And then we see Your work in our life. God, thank You for the crucifixion and the resurrection and the power that You demonstrate over even death itself. God, we love You because You first loved us. We worship You. We praise You. We thank You. In Jesus' name, amen.