1 Thessalonians 2 - Paul's Ministry Model

Tom Shrader examines Paul's ministry model in 1 Thessalonians 2:1-12, emphasizing that ministry is not just for professional pastors but for all believers. He highlights Paul's genuine love, gentleness like a nursing mother, and authentic sharing of both the gospel and his own life. The teaching calls Christians to minister to others with the same Spirit-empowered approach Paul demonstrated.

“If you're a Christian, if all He wanted to do was get you to heaven, at the moment you believed, bam, He would've taken you.”

— Tom Shrader

Series: 1 Thessalonians

Recorded: November 13, 2011

Duration: 54 min

Themes: ministry, service, gentleness, authenticity, love, humility, boldness, sacrifice, pastor, mentor, church leader, new to ministry, feeling inadequate, parent, spiritual guide, young adult

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 2:1-12, 1 Thessalonians 1:3, 1 Thessalonians 1:6, 1 Thessalonians 1:9, Acts 16:14-25, Acts 17:10, Acts 9:15, 1 Corinthians 3:6, 2 Corinthians 5:14, 2 Corinthians 11:23-28, Matthew 28, Psalm 12:3

Theological Themes: ministry model, pastoral care, gospel sharing, apostolic authority, spiritual mothering, christian witness, biblical ministry, servant leadership

Full Transcript

Before we dive into 1 Thessalonians chapter two, let me encourage you to visit the bookstore. I watch every week, and I'll see periodically the same people take Bibles. That's fine, I get it. You're welcome to take it home and use that. But you need your own.

I would say it's a little bit like a golf club. I was at the PGA store the other day and you see guys and gals being fitted for clubs. Be fitted for a Bible in a way. You want a study Bible, what translation? Aaron and the people in the bookstore do well to help you with that. So it's a good day to kind of make a trek over there.

This is week three of our series that will take us up to Christmas. The title of the series is "In Light of His Coming." We're looking at a book that has huge practical call to ministry and done in the light of the fact that Jesus is coming again. Part of Christmas is to celebrate that He came. In that process, Jesus was born, subsequently lived, died so that we can be saved. But also we understand that Jesus is coming again. How do we live now in light of that reality?

Reading the Text

Today we're going to look at chapter two, 12 verses. I want to read them and then we'll come back and tear them apart. Let me give you a couple of warnings as we get into it of what I want to make sure you don't do. And then I want to make sure positively here are the things we want you to do.

Chapter two, verse one: "For you yourselves know, brethren, that our coming to you"—so this is Paul's visit—"was not in vain. But after we had already suffered and been mistreated in Philippi, as you know, we had the boldness in our God to speak to you the gospel of God." If you're one of those people who underline, circle, mark in your Bible, circle that phrase "gospel of God." I'm going to see it three times here. "So He came to speak to you the gospel of God amid much opposition.

"For our exhortation does not come from error or impurity or by way of deceit, but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts. For we never came to you with flattering speech, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed—God is witness—nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others, even though as apostles we might have asserted our authority.

"But we proved to be gentle among you. As a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children, having so fond an affection for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only"—here's the second time now, circle—"the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us.

"For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of you, we proclaimed to you"—there's the third time now—the gospel of God. You start to get the sense of it. The reason I would circle it or mark it or put a square around it, whatever identifies it, is so when I turn to this, I want to go, "Okay, that's what's in here"—the gospel of God.

"You are witnesses, and so is God, how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behaved toward you believers, just as you know how we were exhortation and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children, so that you would walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His kingdom and glory."

Our Teaching Approach

Today, on all four of our campuses, we are teaching this passage. Tyler's teaching in Arcadia, Ricardo's teaching in Tempe, Luke is teaching at Gateway, and then I'm teaching here. I'd like to remind you of this, just so you know. If you have people in other places and you're saying, "Try the Gateway campus," you know what they're doing. They're studying the same passage we are.

What we do is we meet roughly 10 days prior to today, and we have a study session, a preaching collective. We try to make sure all the guys who'll be teaching the passage will be there, plus members of staff and interns or whoever are welcome to come in there. It's a time of training and studying. Then what happens is each one of us prepare differently. Luke is going to, by the Thursday, so by last Thursday at noon, Luke's pretty well done. Tyler, Ricardo, they work at different places along that way, then I tend to be the last one always. But we always put our different touches on it.

When Luke's done, if he's feeling generous, he'll send out his outline. Here's how Luke is approaching this, and it's a traditional way. He took three M's. The heading in my Bible says "Paul's ministry." So he said his message—you got that figured out, right? His message is in verses two, eight, nine. It's the gospel.

Paul's Message, Motive, and Method

His motive—well, he says, look at it negatively in verse five. He said it's not flattery. It's not a pretext for greed. I'm not in it for the dough. I'm not trying to please you. Positively, he says, trying to be gentle. That's my motive, and because you know what? I really love you. The end of verse eight: "you became dear to us." We really care about you.

Then his method—well, he speaks it, but you get this. He says in verse eight, "We not only imparted the gospel to you, spoke it to you. We didn't just do that. We did that, but we did way more. We gave you our lives."

On the night before He died, Jesus says, as He's praying to the Father, "Father, the same way you sent me into the world, I send them into the world." When we talk about Jesus, the word became flesh and dwelt among us. We talk about incarnation. Jesus lived incarnationally, and this is what he's saying.

He's saying, "Now, I want you to go and to do the same." Their whole intent in all of this is what we saw last week in chapter one, so that they would get this gospel. Look at the passage before us. Look at verse 12 of chapter two, so that you would live in a way that reflects a transformed life. You would walk—that means lifestyle, doesn't mean primitive form of transportation—so that you would walk, live, operate in a way that would be consistent and reflect the fact that God has touched your life. So it's not an exaggeration or hyperbole to say, I should see the effects of God in your life.

Now, here's what I don't want us to do. Paul's very autobiographical here. He's reflecting back on a historic event that took place. He came, he encountered them, he lived with them, and he's recalling that. He says in chapter two, verse one, "You know this." This is what you know. I don't want us to study this and go, "How about that Paul?" That's my fear. My fear is we study this and go, "Isn't Paul amazing? What about Paul?"

This Is About Your Ministry

I want us to look at this account for the purpose of us understanding that we have a ministry, that you, God saved you for a reason and a purpose. If you're a Christian, if all He wanted to do was get you to heaven, at the moment you believed, He would've taken you. But God's story, God's plan is being worked out all around us, and those of us who know Christ as Lord and Savior are key in that plan, and God has decided to use people.

I want to read you one of the commentaries. Part of the abiding value of 1 Thessalonians 2 and 3—so that's the chapter we're going to look at today and then next week, all of chapter three—part of the abiding value of that is it gives us insight into Paul's pastoral heart. In these chapters, more perhaps than anywhere else in the letter, in any of His letters, Paul discloses His mind, He expresses His emotion, and He bears His soul.

Now, I'm going to read you this sentence as it's written: "No one who is engaged in any form of pastoral ministry (ordained or lay) can fail to be touched or challenged by what Paul writes here." He just did something I hate. I hate that delineation. I hate the idea that somehow, here's this ordained professional guy and everybody else. That's my fear, is you start to look at Paul and say, "Boy, that's really cool. How about him? And that could be a role model for Tyler or Tim or Tom or Neil or Jim or somebody, but not me." No, that is the role model for personal ministry, and we're all ministers of the gospel.

Breaking Down the Professional Ministry Myth

People are asking—people are very nice to me. Well, they're always nice to me, but they're especially nice to me the last couple of weeks—and they're saying, "How are you doing?" I'm doing fine. "What are you going to do, and how are you thinking through life?" My goal is to get through the end of the year. Susan's memorial service is this Friday at three here on campus, and then my brothers are in, and then just kind of work our way through to the end of the year.

They say, "Well, what's your passion? What's your..." Ice cream, college football. I'm passionate about this, but if there was like one thing—I try to step back and go, the gospel, man, it's the gospel, we got it. But if there's like one thing I could say, let's change the view of the people at Redemption Church. We'll start there, and with God's blessing, change the whole world's view. Is this delineation between professional paid ministry, and then everybody else.

I hate that. I hate it, because I struggle with the delineation, and my fear is, it lets you off the hook. All of a sudden, you're saying, "Well, I don't need to do this, I don't need to know that. They're paid to do that." No, this is the ministry model for all of us. Now, I'm not saying you're going to do it exactly the same way, but to understand that these are the things that are present.

I don't want us to study the life of Paul—which is an amazing life—just to say it. There's a book, it may be out of print, I think the guy's name was Stalker, James Stalker, who wrote a book on the life of Paul. I loved it, it's not a long book, easy to get through. I loved it.

The Call to Imitate Paul

What did we look at last week? Chapter one, verse six. Paul says, "You became an imitator of me." Now, I want to hold up Paul and say this is not like, "Go, Paul, go." This is to say, "This is what Paul did. I'm going to do it in a different context. I may have a different outcome in the sense that you're not going to"—I'll give you this up front. It ain't going to be an apostle. All those jobs are gone, taken, they're out of here. So, you're not going to be an apostle, but you'll be used by God as you imitate Paul as He imitates Christ. So, that's why this is important. It's important to understand what Paul's saying so you begin to understand, "Oh, yeah, I ought to be doing that, too."

Let me give you something else here that is a general observation that my fear is doesn't often enough get emphasized. For us to live the life that God's called us to live and to be an ambassador for Him or a minister of the gospel or in the ministry of reconciliation demands that we have around us people.

Life Requires Community

So, I'm watching the other night. I'm watching the Rockford Files. Like my life now, I found this channel on my Cox cable, it's channel 93. All day it plays like the old shows and it plays Kojak. Well, Rockford, so every day now, here's what I tape. I don't watch them all, because my life is more than this, but this is the buffet from which I dine. I tape every day the Rockford Files, the old Mary Tyler Moore show—I just forgot how absolutely brilliant she is—the old Bob Newhart show, two Fraziers, and four Seinfelds. Now, I don't watch them all. I then go, "Oh, that's a good one."

Paul's Ministry Approach: Focused and Deliberate

I was watching The Rockford Files in Rockford the other day, and there's two things I pull out of it. Number one, and this is profound: every Rockford Files episode would be radically changed if Jim had a cell phone. If Jimmy had a cell phone, you watch the Rockford Files immediately. The other night, like thirty seconds into it, he's looking for a payphone, so if he had a cell phone... The other thing is, Jim the other night—I love Jim. So Jim the other night, he's getting ready to go, and what he does is, in certain instances, he's going to kind of portray somebody, appear to be somebody he's not, and he's in his car printing off calling cards.

Well, I have like three or four calling cards. So I have the Priority Living card, I have some other cards, and then I have the Redemption card. When I have the Redemption cards, which puts me in contact with a lot of pastoral-type people, I'm going to tell you—and this is probably a violation of professional courtesy and competence—I won't give you any names, but I will tell you what I will inevitably hear in the course of almost every in-depth conversation. One of these pastoral-types will say, "My job would be great except for..." what? The people. And I want to go, "You self-righteous moron, your job is the people!"

The Heart Problem in Ministry

If really, honestly, if that's an undercurrent—"Boy, this would be great except for the people"—the people pick up on it. And pretty soon, as the people, all of a sudden, here's what can happen: The people God's called you to minister to, the people in your neighborhood, the people at school, the people at the gym, the people that God's called you to minister to—let me tell you something. If you're not careful, you're going to see them as obstacles rather than call to them. If you don't love them, then sharing the gospel is just going to be routine: "God loves you, has a wonderful plan... God, but you're a sinner, did you know you're a sinner? Oh, persecute me, now I don't have to go any further." I mean, that's exactly how it feels sometimes.

And so I want you to see that, I want you to feel that. There are people who don't share our belief in Christ, who aren't followers of Christ, who by our own—if our doctrine's true, and it is—who are on the way to hell. Even if in a kind of an incremental way things are okay, it ought to break your heart. Now, it's going to affect you differently with different people, but you've got to love these people.

Whatever we're doing, whatever ministry is—and at its core, ministry means to serve—whatever it's about is people. And whenever you're dealing with people, it's painful, and it's sloppy, and it's hard work, and it's difficult. But you're not doing it for any reason other than the love of Christ, 2 Corinthians 5:14: It's the love of Christ that compels us.

Paul's Story as Our Model

So here's what he's saying, here's all he's saying. He's saying, "Look, here's my story," and this is a really powerful story for these people, because he's going to go, "And you remember this story, because you were in it. You're a key part of it. You remember, you saw what I did." Don't go, "Wow, Paul." Go, "Wow, this is what the Spirit of God does in a life." So the same power that Paul had—didn't we see last week?—he said, "When I came to you, I wasn't particularly articulate. I wasn't really profound."

His physical appearance, we said, is probably not even just neutral. Like I was studying myself the other day—I don't think I'm ugly, but I sure don't think I'm good looking. I think I'm neutral. I'm a solid four. I wouldn't ask me out for coffee; that's how I see it. So Paul was like a one. That's my point: Paul was like a one. So he's a one, and I go, "Ugh." So he said, "I didn't have any of those."

So what made him so effective? Well, he had the Gospel of God as His message, and he had the Spirit of God in him. No big deal—and so do you. That's the whole point here. So third time, maybe we'll get it: Don't go "Wow, Paul" and walk away. Look at Paul, be an imitator of him, look at these characteristics, and then you bring them now to your ministry world.

A Ministry That Was Not in Vain

So here's what he says, verse one: "You yourselves know, it's a fact, that our coming to you was not in vain." Now the word "vain" means empty, and there's a subtlety in the Greek too. It means empty, useless. In other words, it produced fruit. But also, kind of a subtlety of that too is that it had direction to it.

So that's what we saw last week. Remember last week, verse one? Paul, Silas, they're all coming: "We give thanks." Chapter one, verse three—and somebody said to me today, and I think you could do it, it's kind of the idea, you've got to stretch it a bit, but kind of the idea of come, learn, and serve in there. So they had, in this church, when Paul came, in chapter one, verse three: the work of faith, the labor of love, steadfastness of hope. What are they? You drop down to verse nine: Their work of faith is they turned from idols. Their labor of love was they served a living God. And their steadfastness of hope is they understood Jesus was coming again.

Targeted and Genuine Ministry

So here's what he's saying: "You know this." He says, "You know that there was fruit because you are the fruit, and you know that it had direction or purpose to it." I wrote these words: Here's what Paul's saying. Paul's saying, "My ministry was targeted, focused, deliberate, calculating, premeditated." And then what we're going to see is it was done with gentleness and kindness and sincerity, and it was genuine, and it was meaningful.

So here's what he's saying. He's not talking about results. He's saying there were results, but those have nothing to do with me. You don't need to turn there, but some of you may want to make a note. In 1 Corinthians chapter three—in 1 Corinthians chapter three, they're having this discussion in the church at Corinth. And in chapter three, verses four, five, six: "I follow Paul. I follow Apollos." So then there's always these people you want to smack: "I follow Jesus."

Paul plants and others water, but God causes the growth. As he says in 1 Corinthians 3:6, "I planted, Apollos watered, God caused the growth. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything but God who causes the growth."

Here's the deal. This is not an "if you do this, A plus B equals C" method guarantee. Paul is simply saying this is part of the process. There were places where Paul ministered and taught where people heard but never responded. Later somebody else came along, and that's what God used.

Paul wants us to know our ministry won't be in vain, but we must be deliberate. Not conniving, but calculating. Think about what you're doing and do it in the right way for the right reason. God may bless it in the sense of bringing fruit, or He may not. You may share the gospel and live this out. You may pray for somebody in your family or friends for many, many years and they never respond. That's not because your prayers were weak. It's not because you didn't have enough faith. It's not because they weren't smart enough. It's because God, for whatever reason, did not desire to cause growth there. He didn't prompt that along for whatever reason.

Paul's Experience in Philippi

Keep your finger here because we're going to be right back in a minute and turn to the left to page 601, the book of Acts. Paul says in our passage that "we didn't come in vain but after we had already suffered and been mistreated at Philippi." In Acts chapter 16, starting in verse 14, we see this story.

Paul comes and here is the first convert in Europe. We were going through a bunch of pictures the other day and there was a picture of Haley. My daughter Haley was the first person to be baptized here at the church. That's kind of cool. Well, this is like the first convert in all of Europe. That's really cool.

Now, that would be cool to have except your name would be Lydia. That's not necessarily a bad name, but when I hear that name, here's what I think - and I'm not the spiritual giant you are. When I hear Lydia, I think Groucho Marx: "Lydia, Lydia, my dear old Lydia, Lydia the tattooed lady." That's not the spiritual dynamic we want. I need to be more spiritual than that.

This Lydia is a great gal. She's a business gal, a seller. If you ladies are looking for somebody to model, Lydia's a good one. Paul comes, the gospel begins to take root, and anytime that happens, opposition follows.

Opposition and Imprisonment

In verse 16, they're going to the place of prayer and there's a slave girl being used by men. She has a spirit of divination and is being used to manipulate, fortune tell, and prophesy to generate cash. She's a cash flow for them. Following after Paul, she kept crying out, "These men are bondservants of the most high God and they're proclaiming to you the way of salvation" - which by the way is true. But after a while, Paul's annoyed by this. She's become bothersome to him.

So he says, "I command you in the name of Jesus to come out of her," and out comes this spirit. Now these guys have lost a whole profit center. That's a big deal. So they stir up the people, take Paul and Silas, and drag them into the marketplace. They take them to the Romans.

In verse 22, "The crowd rose up together against them and the chief magistrate tore their robes off them, proceeded to order them to be beaten." They're beaten - a violation of his rights as a Roman citizen without a trial. They struck him with many blows, threw them into prison, commanding the jailer to guard them securely. Receiving them, he threw them into the inner prison and fastened their feet in stocks.

You have layers in this prison. They take them to the very center of the prison, the most secure place they have because the jailer understands if he loses these guys, it's his problem. He doesn't just put them in there - he chains them in there as he locks the door.

Supernatural Deliverance

Then there's an earthquake at midnight in verse 25. Here's Paul and Silas in prison all beaten up. You know what they're doing? Just what you would do - they're singing hymns and praising God. Then there's this earthquake. They are freed. The jailer is afraid. They said, "Don't be afraid, we're still here."

Now go back to 1 Thessalonians because that's the incident Paul's talking about. He said, "From there we came to you." Remember we looked at last week - they got to Thessalonica, faced opposition, and Acts chapter 17, verse 10 says they slipped away by night.

Moving Forward Despite Opposition

You know this. You know how we suffered - and that implies physical torment and mistreatment. That's more public verbal abuse. He said they beat us and they abused us. Their goal was to stop us for sure, but to humiliate us. It wasn't enough to stop us - they were going to humiliate us as well.

In this situation, Paul said, "You know when we came, you know the treatment we had already received and you know the treatment we got when we were there, but here's what we did. We had boldness." Oh Paul, you're so brave? Not really - we got it from God. Same strength you have.

"We came in boldness and in verse two, we spoke to you the gospel of God in the midst of this opposition." I'm just telling you, as you begin to live this, I doubt they're going to take you out, drag you, beat you and put you in jail, but you're going to see opposition from all sides. What do you do? You move boldly. Why? Because you're courageous? My guess is Paul...

Paul's Trepidation and Boldness

Paul probably had some sense of trepidation and he was certainly cautious, but he wasn't paralyzed by it. He preached the gospel of God. God's the one who gave him this gospel. The source of it is God. God is calling us now to share it with us. He starts the story from the very beginning. In the beginning, God created. We sinned. God's redemption. God's the source of this. God's the one who saves us. God's the one who reveals this. So he said, this isn't our story. We didn't cook this up. God gave it to us.

Proclaiming Truth Without Error or Deceit

So in verse three, as we proclaim this, that means to cry urgently or make an appeal. As we proclaim this, it doesn't have error or impurity and we don't do it by way of deceit. There's no error in this. Why? It's God's gospel so it's true. There's no deceit in it. And by deceit, he's saying, it's not like we're giving you some imagery here and do a bait and switch. He said, it's just straight up the truth. There's no error.

But we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. So we speak. Here's our motive, not to please men, but to please God who examines our hearts. Here's our whole motive. Our whole motive, our whole call was to understand this gospel's been entrusted to us.

The Gospel Entrusted to All Believers

By the way, it has been to you as well. When God saved you, He called you into the ministry of the gospel of God, into the ministry of reconciliation. He gave you the word of reconciliation. Now He says, you go and be an ambassador. So my friend Larry Wright used to say it this way. Our title is very impressive, ambassador of Christ. Job description, not so impressive, bondservant. But this is what you're called to. That's your tool, the scripture, the power's in the Holy Spirit. And the call is to understand that this gospel's been entrusted to you.

In Acts chapter nine, God is in the process of saving Paul and He's sending Ananias to Paul to say, here's the call. Here's what He says, Acts 9:15: "Go, for Paul is a chosen instrument of mine to bear my name before the Gentiles, the kings, and the sons of Israel." And I would say to you, God said to you, you go. It's Matthew 28: Go, make disciples of all nations as you go. You go, and you're a gospel proclaimer, and the gospel's been entrusted to you.

Pleasing God Rather Than Men

He said, I want you to go, and in this process you can't be terribly concerned about pleasing men, because the truth in and of itself is offensive to some. That's what Paul says in 1 Corinthians chapter 1 verse 18. It's foolishness. Now I want to be careful here. I think some people say this, look at this, and think this is a badge to be obnoxious and offensive. I'm just going to tell it like it is. Well it didn't say that. It said tell the truth, but do it in love. This is not a license to be a jerk.

I feel like I see a lot of people who are going, I just tell it like it is and tell the truth and they can't handle it. Well no, you didn't even get to the point where they rejected the gospel. You're such a jerk that they never even got to hear what you had to say. So I want to be careful in that. We do care about people. It does matter how we respond to people. We don't sugarcoat it. We don't take the truth and make it less than it really is.

Fighting the Desire for Human Approval

We're not so afraid that somebody's going to reject it, that we present it as the least possible thing we can possibly do. That's not what we do. We proclaim the truth, but our desire here is to be approved by God, not just men. And you have to fight that all the time. Unless you have some disease, you want people to like you. I mean it's one of the things I learned early on, especially when I told the guys the fastest way to become better at this, you know, pray as one, study as one, but do a lot of away games. By that I mean go into places where they don't know you. Same crowd over and over again, you know, they're going to cut you a lot of slack.

Well here's what I discovered. I don't want to walk away and have them go, gosh what a jerk. I want to be liked, but it's more important that I have God's approval than the audience approval. And that's what happens. I mean you have just a lot of people who will say things that they think people will like, and they'll take doctrine, get it to its lowest common denominator, water it down, wrap the gospel in something.

The Pill-Swallowing Illustration

Like you're almost trying to convince yourself like to take a pill. I could never take a pill. I could never swallow a pill. The only time I've gone overseas, went to India, and we had India, Thailand, I can't remember where it was, a bunch of places, and they had to take malaria pills. And they were these big honking pills. Well I couldn't swallow a pill, so I would chew it to take it. I know. And I did it three times, and I thought, I don't know how bad malaria is, but it can't be worse than tasting this pill. And I gave them to some guy in Calcutta. I said, there you go, good luck.

But here's what I did, because as I got older, I saw, I may have to take pills. So when I turned 50, I started, and this will sound really silly to you, I spent two weeks, and I would say, can you swallow a pill? Yeah. How do you do it? What do you think about? What do you put it in? And they said, well put it in something, and it'll pop down. And I'm not kidding you. I put it in a hot dog. I can eat a quarter pounder and cheese in three bites. I put it in there, I'd swallow it down, the quarter pounder would go down, and that pill would pop right back up every time. Every time.

And now I can do it. When I was, I called my mom, I called, this is sad, I'm 50 years old, I called my mom, I said, guess what happened today? She said, and so she's thinking, you know, when the kids had a baby or something, I learned how to swallow a pill. And she said, shouldn't that have come a little earlier in your life than now? In this process, it's not like, take the gospel and wrap it up in a quarter pounder, and maybe...

they'll swallow it. So do you see the tension there? You see what I'm saying? You want to be liked, but the audience is not that person. The audience is God. That's what he's saying. You want to be approved by Him.

So he said, we didn't come, in verse 5, with flattery. And that flattery there is not just puffing you up, but it has with it, again, the idea of baiting, or deceitful talk. We didn't come with this flattery. I came across a verse this week, obviously I've read it before, because I've read through this thing however many times: Psalm 12, verse 3, "may the Lord cut off all flattering lips." So he said, well watch out, we didn't do that.

And look at this, we didn't come with flattering speech, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed. That pretext means cloaked. In other words, we didn't take what we were doing and cloak it up, and we were really greedy. So what he seems to be saying is, we can get in a situation, or predicament, or even a mindset, where we're doing even ministry to seek the approval of man, or for some dough.

Not Seeking Approval or Money

So he's going to say here, he says it in other places, that you'll remember, when I was with you, I worked really hard, so I didn't take any money from you. Now throughout Scripture, he says, listen, the guy who's teaching, the guy who's leading, the pastors, and his staff sitting like this, more than worthy of pay. He said, I didn't do it, and that's almost always as he's starting something.

So I always struggle with this, because I'm going to look very good in this illustration, and so am I doing it to look good? No, I don't know how to illustrate it if I don't share it. So when this church started, and to this day, I don't take a salary. They compensate me a little bit in some other areas now, which is very polite, very nice of them, but I didn't take a salary, and the reason was, I didn't want to be a burden. We started 20 years ago, we're trying to figure, we don't know anything. We don't have any people, any building, any money. Me taking money wasn't going to make this work, and I wasn't about that.

So you get that? Not holding myself up. Don't say he's setting a paradigm, we should never pay guys. He's not saying that, because we'll be in other situations where he's taking this, but he's saying, I came among you early on, and my motive was not so you'd like me. It wasn't so I'd get money.

A Different Style of Leadership

Verse 6 kind of continues it: I'm not seeking the glory of men, not looking for that. I had the authority, but I didn't come as an apostle and hammer you. He's got a whole different style of leadership. It's not authoritarian. It's not my style, he says.

But here's what I did, verse 7. He begins to make a change there, but here's what I did, here's the contrast. "We proved to be gentle," that becomes the key word. "We proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children."

So as I'm looking through these pictures, and I'm watching them, so they're pictures of Susan with the grandkids and me, and so I'll take Braden or Yale, or even Reagan. Sarah comes at 8:30, so they're in here, and then she'll go, and she'll get Gracie and Reagan and Brooklyn, and I'll, if I can, most Sundays, go out the back door, and I'll see them. So I had Reagan today. She's off, she's running, she jumps on me. I got her over here. I'm whacking her on the head, but you don't do it with a baby. When they were small, you caress them. That's the imagery. You don't ever see a mother just swinging her arm. There's a gentleness, there's a tenderness to it. So you say, that's how I want to be, that's how I was with you. There's a tenderness, there's a respect. It's a mom with a baby. It's a picture of love. He said, it's with gentleness that I came to you.

Sharing Both Gospel and Life

Tender, verse 8, I have strong affection for you. We were well pleased to, here's the word impart, it means to share. We were well pleased to share with you, not only the gospel of God, but also our lives. Now look at this, he's giving you now your model for ministry. It's to share in word and deed. It's to share the gospel of God, but also to share my life. Literally, they gave up their souls. They set their goals, their desires. They take them and they set them aside because they said, you know what, if I'm going to serve you, I'm going to have to really love you and care for you.

I'll say it to you again, you're not going to—let me restate it—the only reason that you minister to somebody that you don't love is out of duty. But if you love them and you care for people in and out of the body of Christ, all of us, all of a sudden, there's going to be this long, long, long time of patience and kindness and understanding and gentleness. Doesn't mean I don't tell the truth because the gospel of God is the truth, but I'm not going to want to just drop my load on them and then walk away.

The Problem with Gospel Tracts as Tips

I don't know, and I had an illustration, I don't know if it's a good one, but it's like, I don't see it much anymore, but we went through a time when it seemed like Christians had these little tracts. Now, if you don't know what a tract is, let me explain it. It'd be like a little booklet that somehow explains the gospel. Different words, but the idea is you're a sinner, you're lost, you're going to hell, and you need Jesus.

And I would be in restaurants, and I talked to a lot of servers. When I go to a restaurant, I try to understand the servers. I love the servers. And they would talk to me, especially when they understood what I did, they'd go, it's amazing how many Christians will leave that as a tip. Now, let me back off and say, that's a really valuable tip, but they don't quite get it yet. I can tell you almost every server, here's what they hear, they hate this: walk in. Eight Christians who want separate checks. We're each going to give them 50 cents.

Look at that illustration. All of a sudden, if you're really concerned about the gospel, it matters what you tip. Especially if people understand who you are. I have one place

That I go in particular and they know exactly what I do. There isn't, to my knowledge, maybe one follower of Christ in there. But I'm very sensitive to how I behave. Very sensitive to how I pay. Very sensitive to how I tip. Because it's a reflection of that.

That's what he's saying. We didn't just give you this. We gave you our whole lives. Because it really mattered to us, ultimately, whether you believed or not. That's a huge deal.

Paul's Labor and Hardship

He says all this, you recall, in verse 9: "You recall, brethren, our labor and our hardship and how we were working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of you."

If you turn to 2 Corinthians chapter 11, Paul's writing and he's reminding them of the hardship he has faced himself. He said, "Five times I received 39 lashes from the Jews. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times shipwrecked. A day and a night I spent in the deep. I've been on frequent journeys and dangers from rivers, dangers from robbers, danger from my countrymen, dangers from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger in the sea, danger among false brethren. And I've been in labor and hardship through many sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, and often without food and clothes and exposure."

Many people stop there. Listen to verse 28, 2 Corinthians 11:28: "Apart from such external things, there's a daily pressure on me of the concern for all the churches."

Paul's Heart for the Churches

That's what you're reading in 1 Thessalonians. He planted this church, he went away, and he's saying, I can't wait. I don't know what's going on. They can't just text or call. So he sends Timothy to encourage them and to bring a report back. This is what he cares about. He says, I care about you. I care about people. That's what this was all about for us. It wasn't about material gain. It wasn't even about checking notches on a belt for converts, because he says, I understand that. God can only do that.

So you are witnesses, verse 10, so is God, how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we've behaved toward you believers. Just as you know, we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring. Let me give you each of those words. Exhorting means to come alongside or to call alongside. Encouraging has with it the idea of a sense of comfort and consolation. Imploring is this idea of testifying or witnessing.

Like a Father to His Children

So Paul's saying, as we called you alongside, we came alongside. We exhorted you. We did it with comfort and kindness and gentleness. Truth, we did it as we implored you to testify. That's what we did. You know this. "Imploring you as each of you as a father would his own children."

So in verse 7, he says, we're gentle like a mother. In verse 11, he says, as a father should be, we hold those kids. I mean, thinking just again, it's reflective time, obviously, and looking at pictures of my girls growing up, and I'm thinking, what kind of a dad was I? What did I do?

Well, I tried to come alongside. I tried to encourage. I didn't move the standard for them. I didn't say, oh gosh, you're never going to get there. We're going to hold this standard. We're going to discipline accordingly and live accordingly, but always in love.

Different Children, Different Approaches

Even my two daughters, one, Haley's very much like her mom. Sarah's very much like me. So to raise Haley, I mean, she's a Gia kid. You just add water and time, and she just grows. Haley could have raised herself. Sarah's like me. She's going to want why would we do that? Really? I don't think that's a good idea, particularly dad. Okay, so never disrespectful, but I had to be firm with her, and there were some times that I'm afraid I punished her in anger rather than disciplined her in love.

But here's what she knew, and I did dumb things to her. I have apologized probably more to, eh, Susan would probably be number one, but Sarah would be the second person on this earth that I've apologized to. I've apologized more to Sarah than any other person on this earth other than Susan. But here's what. And so I know that I did to her some things that people have done to screw up their kids. But here may be the difference. She knew I loved her. She wasn't even guessing the fact that I would come back and say I screwed up to an eight year old would tell her I loved her.

The Purpose of Parental Ministry

So that's that. That's what he's saying. If we exhort, you'd be like a dad, like a dad who's in his right role, like a mom who's in her right role. We came along. We were gentle with you and kind and encouraging. You know why? Verse 12: "So you would walk in a manner worthy of the call of God who calls you."

Our whole end game was this so that you would hear this gospel of God. You respond to this gospel of God, and your life would be changed, and that's Paul's call. But that's your call as well.

Four Ministry Principles

Let me give you. I'm going to take another eight or nine minutes. Chuck Swindoll deals with this passage, and he says, Here's like four things to omit from your ministry. They'd be negative. Here's four things to include, and they're all from this passage, and we've touched on them all.

Number one. Verse three. Do not be deceptive. So as you're sharing, you're sharing the truth. You don't come in in some slick way with it. Here's the gospel. Give it a world money bag guarantee.

Number two. Don't be a people pleaser. That's verse four. You need to get along with people. But ultimately, my objective here is to play to an audience that's God, not to an audience of people.

Number three. It's in verse five. Don't be greedy. Greedy for either money or greedy for accolades or power. The church, by the way, is not exempt. Just so you know, the church is not exempt from this. So if I go out and I had a pastor, so I was at one yesterday. So you wear a little lanyard, and there you go. Redemption Church. Where's that? East Valley.

I find myself in conversations where people don't know me, and I'll mention that I'm a teaching pastor at Redemption Church in Gilbert. Inevitably, they ask where Gilbert is—Arizona. But here's what happens next: the very first thing they want to know about the church is how big it is. If I say we have 30 people, they think, "That's really cool," but then dismiss you as a loser and move on to the next person. It's exactly the same way you measure success in your own life—how much money you make, how many followers you have.

If I wanted to impress them, I could say 3,000. But to me, that would be a form of greed, pride, and idolatry. Paul warns against this fourth way not to do ministry: an authoritarian way. In verse 6, he says, "We didn't seek glory from men, but from God. We had authority in our position, but we didn't use it." You have to be careful there.

Four Ways to Minister Authentically

Here are four ways to minister according to Paul's model. First, verse 7 tells us to be sensitive to needs. What are the needs of the people around you? By and large, they'll tell you—but this means you're going to have to listen.

That's not necessarily one of my great skills. Early on in ministry, somebody would say, "I need to talk to you, Tom." As they're talking, within about 30 seconds I'd know where this is going and think, "I've got something brilliant to say." But if you're going to build people up according to their needs, you're going to have to take the time and make the investment to understand what their actual need is. Be sensitive like a nursing mother—gentle.

Second, you're going to have to love them. Verse 8 talks about having strong affection for them. You need to care about people. I understand how real ministry is expensive because people are going to call at awkward times. Neil is sitting over here, and probably no one on our staff is more pastoral than Neil. In that process, he's going to get a lot of phone calls at awkward times. People are going to come to him. That's a huge privilege, but it's also an awkwardness and burden. If you resent people or you're just doing this out of duty, you're going to wear out fast—your ministry and the people in your care.

The Call to Authentic Ministry

Third, it's in the second part of verse 8 and verses 9 and 10—be authentic. Paul doesn't mince words here. He doesn't pretend he's not a needy, hurting person. There's something authentic about that. If you're living ministry with people and suddenly you're pretending to be something you aren't, making it look like you have no hurt, no need, no pain, then you've painted a picture that just isn't real.

Even as we talk about the gospel, let's make sure we get this: the gospel is not just something we give to a person who doesn't know Christ one time. The gospel is the answer to all of our questions all of the time. I don't need to be afraid—why? Because God's in control. I begin to work all of that through.

Being an Advocate Like a Father

The last thing is there's a level of affirmation. "We encouraged you, like a father." I'm at a game the other day—Yale's four, Braden's five, we're at a little league game. There cannot be many things that matter less in this world than this game. They don't even keep score. But there's a play at first base, they call him out, and I'm thinking, "He's not out! How can he be out? Who's in the replay booth? This isn't right! I want justice!"

Well, he's my kid. You become, in a healthy way, your kid's cheerleader. You're their advocate. I watched a videotape a few years ago of my daughter from 1999. My daughter Haley was on the cheer team, and Sarah was key in putting together this routine that they used to win the state championship. I watched this routine over and over and over. I knew it—I couldn't have been a flyer, but I would have been a base on this team.

There's one section of the routine that was particularly difficult. They got it right a lot of the time, but not all the time. Based on where things were, if they hit this section, they probably were going to win. You can see the whole crowd in the video, and then as they get to this part, you'll see my head raise up out of the whole crowd because I know this is what's coming. That's what Paul is saying—that's who you are for the people around you.

Yesterday I was downtown at a church event where Tyler and Luke were speaking. Absolutely the highlight for me of that day was watching and listening to Tyler and Luke. I could not have been more proud to say I work with these guys. I told Luke, "What you did today, if you gave me a thousand years, I couldn't do that. That's really amazing."

The Heart of Gospel Ministry

Here's all Paul is saying: he's not describing something super-spiritual that's beyond us. It's what you do too. You have the gospel of God, and you are to give that gospel and yourself to people around you. You're not doing it so people will say "Wow" or to please people. You certainly don't want them to dislike you unnecessarily, but let the gospel be offensive, not just yourself.

Because your motive is to please God and find His approval, and for people, you really love them and care for them, because without this gospel, you're lost. With it, you have the power not just for eternal life, but life here and now.

Every week we talk about these things one way or another. After every service, we've done it for years, and I'm watching you get more and more comfortable with it. There'll be men and women who are up front. If you're over in the conference center, Neil's going to come and close that service. If you're here, Neil's going to lead us in communion now, and then we'll close our worship time here.

Then there'll be people in the front of the building, both conference center and chapel, who are here to serve you, to pray with you, to maybe answer questions, so that you can come and share with them. They may be praises, they may be things that you're waiting for God to do. That's why they're here.

So let me pray as Neil comes and just takes us to our next part of our service.