1 Thessalonians 4 - Living to Please God

Tom Shrader examines Paul's teaching on sanctification from 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8, emphasizing that believers are called to live distinctively holy lives that please God. He addresses sexual purity as God's clear will, explaining that abstaining from sexual immorality is not legalistic rule-keeping but a response to God's acceptance. Shrader teaches that holiness is everyday living empowered by the Holy Spirit, not monastic withdrawal from the world.

“My problem isn't that I don't know enough, my problem is I don't do what I already know.”

— Tom Shrader

Series: 1 Thessalonians

Duration: 50 min

Themes: holiness, purity, obedience, morality, sexuality, temptation, dedication, righteousness, struggling with temptation, young adult, new believer, dating, married, seeking gods will, living in world, everyday christian

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8, 1 Thessalonians 1:2-3, 1 Thessalonians 3:11-13, Philippians 3:8-14, Philippians 2:12-13, Hebrews 11:6, Colossians 3:2, Romans 13:1, Psalm 78:40-41, Isaiah 63:9-10, Ephesians 4:29-32

Theological Themes: sanctification, becoming holy, biblical authority, holy spirit, gods will, sexual immorality, spiritual maturity, christian living

Full Transcript

Open your Bibles to 1 Thessalonians chapter 4. If you don't have a Bible and raise your hand, they'll bring you one. If you get a Bible from us, it's page 640.

This is my assessment of the way I teach. It's fairly unorthodox in the sense that I rarely have an introduction or a close. I rarely have something scripted at the beginning or at the end. It just works its way through. My friends will say constantly they could never work that way, and I said I couldn't do what they do.

We had our study group getting ready for this session, and this is one that lends itself to some introductions. There are three or four ways to really introduce this section.

Different Ways to Approach This Text

You can introduce it with the idea found in verse 3—the will of God. So you can make this big thing about the will of God. I'll make reference to it, but that's not necessarily where I'm going to start. We're going to talk about what's God's will, because we get that all the time. Somebody will ask questions like, "Do you think Bono's the Antichrist?" Or "Who's the Antichrist? Can I lose my salvation?" And then there's always a question about how do I know God's will? You clearly could build a lesson around that.

In verses 3, 4, and 7, you see the word sanctification. We could talk about sanctification, and we will. We're going to talk about each one of these—to be set apart for God's use, God's purpose, God's way. So we can take this word that may be brand new to some of you. Others of you may be familiar with it and sort of know what it means, but all of us need to understand what we're talking about there.

In verse 8, I would connect verse 2 and verse 8. In verse 2, he's talking about authority. In verse 8, he's talking about if you reject this teaching, you're not just rejecting me, you're rejecting the Holy Spirit. So you could talk about what does it mean to reject the Holy Spirit.

A Restaurant Conversation

I was in a restaurant the other night by myself. Sometimes, I guess that must be just a pathetic sight—a person eating alone. So there I am, eating alone, checking my messages, nothing there, lonely man. The owner came over. I know the owner a little bit. So we're talking, and we're having this conversation, and then he said, "How's Susan?" I said, "Well, she's doing great, better than me." He said, "Oh wow, that's cool." And I said, "She's in heaven."

So it started this conversation. The way I think the scripture defines Christian, he would not be. We start this conversation, and he said to me, "Can I ask you some questions?" I said, "No problem."

He said, "Give me your view on the sanctity of life." I said, "Well, I would be pro-life." So right away, this is a classic conversation. Right away you get, "Even in rape and incest?" I said, "Well, let me tell you a story."

I was teaching on the sanctity of life one Thursday at Party Living. A man came up afterwards, and he began to show me a series of pictures of his daughter. Here she was when she was born, here she is at one, here she is at three, here she is at five, here she is now as a young lady. He said, "What no one knows"—and he says that no one knows—"is that we were away on vacation, my wife was raped, and this is the product of that rape." So I've got my rape and incest case, but who am I really penalizing there but the baby?

Now, I'm also pragmatic. So if I was president—which by the way, would make this a heck of a lot better place to live than where we are right now—and you brought me a bill that said we're going to outlaw abortion except for rape and incest, though I would strongly be opposed to that part of it, I'd sign that bill in a nanosecond. Because it would wipe out over 90% of the abortions that you see.

More Questions About Morality

He said, "All right, how about homosexuality?" I said, "Well, I'm not sure what you're asking." He said, "What do you think about homosexuality?" I said, "Well, let me talk to you about it." I'm going to save my detailed answer for you, because it's part of the lesson today, but I gave it to him.

Then he said, "Well, what do you think about this sexuality—just living together? I'm just living with a girl. What do you think about that?" So I answered the question.

He said, "What do you think about Jesus?" I said, "Oh man, I'm for Him." I said, "What do you think?" He said, "Well, I believe Jesus lived, and I believe Jesus was a great teacher, and all that." I said, "Well, I believe that, but I believe more."

The Real Issue: Authority

Now, I've got a couple of reasons that I tell this story. Number one is, this is the kind of stuff I encourage you to do, and I want you to know that I do it too. Number two, there aren't many variations of this story. And number three—here's the point, and it's the point that I want to grind on today—he kept saying, "What do you think, what do you think, what do you think?"

So I would answer, and I would say, "Well, here's what I think the Bible says." Then I would say, "Here's what the Bible says." Then I said, "Here's what the Bible teaches," because in reality, it's kind of irrelevant what I think. I'm not that interested in what I think. I don't really care about what you think. But everybody has this authority, in a sense.

saying to me, and he's a great guy. I like that guy a ton. What he's saying to me is, "Here's what I think God did, or God is." So everybody has a - everybody's a theologian. But where do you get that? So I get it from Rush, or I get it from Oprah, or I get it from the comics, or Charlie Brown Christmas. "This is the story of Christmas," Charlie Schultz told me. Well, I get it somewhere.

Well, here's for us. This is 101. This is basics. This is why when we had a chance to name this church the first time, it was East Valley Bible Church, because the Bible is our final authority.

The Bible as Final Authority

So just like in the United States of America, take the healthcare bill now. Go back and forth, argue about it, take it to the court, take it to the Court of Appeals, take it to the next court, now it's in the Supreme Court. Whatever comes out of the Supreme Court, that's it. No more appeals. That's the final verdict. That's the final decision.

Well, for us as Christians, we can go back and forth, but once we can look at it, and when it says, "God says," that's the end of the discussion. Now, we can nuance it, and we can argue, and we can still have that. So, well, "that's what it means to you." Well, okay, that's what it says. When Jesus says, "There's no way to the Father but through me," how else you interpret that?

Here you go, look at verse 3. "Abstain from sexual immorality." What are you going to say? "Well, abstain in the Greek means abstain." That's just it. That's why we have to come back to that. That's why we have to come back to this book over and over again.

The Owner's Manual for Life

We don't study the Bible just so we're obsessed with understanding the Bible for the sake of information, but for the sake of understanding how we're supposed to live. So, if you want a kind of goofy illustration, it's the owner's manual, written by the manufacturer, to tell me how to get maximum efficiency out of this life.

Maybe you're here today, maybe it's a first-timer, you're kind of new to this, and you're going, "Gee, my life kind of stinks. I'm trying to figure it out." I was trying - the same night I was talking to this guy, I was talking to a young lady, and she was just saying, "Everything seems so dark, and everything's so confused, and I just don't know how to figure it out." Here you go - the Bible. What's God say?

Because here's what He does. When we studied that series on doctrine, the story: God creates, man breaks, God restores. So we have past, present, future. So we come back to this book. That would be where I would come from, by way of introduction.

The Structure of Paul's Letter

As you look at chapter 4, verse 1, the first word is "finally," second word is "then." "Finally, then." So you sense that there's a change. In chapters 1, 2, and 3, Paul's been looking back.

So remember, Paul was at Thessalonica. He was with these people about three weeks, and then he left. He sent Timothy back on a reconnaissance mission to say, "Go find out what's going on there." Timothy comes back with a wonderful report. That's what we saw week one. "Boy, this is what we've heard." Chapter one, verse two: "We give thanks for you." Why? Verse three - I love verse three of chapter one: "For your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope."

And then in chapter one, remember, he defined those. That work of faith was they turned from idols. That labor of love was serving the living God. That steadfastness of hope is waiting for Christ to come again. Not passively waiting, actively waiting. So he got this report back.

Questions and Criticisms Addressed

Now apparently, in the report, there were at least two other kind of subject lines. One was the criticism that was leveled against Paul. So we saw that a lot in the first three chapters. Paul's responding to the criticisms. Those that said he was just in it for the money. Those that said he just kind of spoke in a cavalier way. All of the accusations.

And apparently, there were some questions. So Timothy arrives back and says, "Everything is great." That doesn't mean it's perfect. "And here's some of the things that are lingering. Some of the accusations, they're all false. And then also, they had some questions about how they should live, but especially about Jesus coming again."

So Paul writes this letter. It was the first of the two that we have. So the title, First Thessalonians. And he commends them for all they've done. He answers the critics, and he begins to deal with the questions.

From Past to Present

So in chapters 1, 2, and 3, he looked back. In chapters 4 and 5, he deals with the present, the challenges, the issues that they face there. Practical matters: how should you live? Motivation for how you should live. And then he deals with future events. Doesn't mean there's not a connection.

So look with me. Here's what Tim taught and closed with last week. Look at the end of chapter three, verses 11 and 12 and 13: "Now may our God and Father Himself and our Lord Jesus direct our way to you. And may the Lord cause you to increase and abound in love for one another and for all people, just as we also do for you, so that He may establish your hearts without blame in holiness before our God and Father at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all His saints."

The Call to Continue Growing

So he says, "I want you - you've done great, but don't quit. Everything's been amazing, that work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope. It's been incredible, and you've grown, and we've seen that, but be careful, you haven't arrived yet. Keep going." Those are those words, "that you may increase and abound more and more."

So what he's saying to us, you and me - I mean by us now, I mean us, here, Gilbert, 2011. What he says to us is, "Listen, those of us who come in repentance and faith, that work of faith, that labor of love, that steadfastness of hope, you're a follower of Christ. As certain of heaven as the saints that are already there."

So yesterday, Sarah sent me a text. Sarah loves Christmas. She plays Christmas music all year long, and Timmy stayed up the other night and put up the Christmas tree. This is an act of love, honestly. He stayed up till one o'clock and put up the tree. So Sarah now begins decorating. She sent me a picture of it yesterday with a text that said, "I wish mom could see this."

So I texted back and said, "Maybe she can." Here's what I know. I'm confused about exactly what Susan's doing. I don't know if she can hear me right now. I don't know if she knows what I'm thinking. But I do know this: absent from the body, present with the Lord, she's there now.

Here's the next step. I will be one day too, not based on who I am, but based on He who began a good work in you will continue it to the day of Christ Jesus. So I'm as certain of heaven, and so are you if you know Christ, as certain of heaven as the saints are already there. Nothing can change that.

But till then, He said, "I've left you here for a mission." Though you're as prepared for heaven as you'll ever be, I can't be any more saved than I am. There's still this process of sanctification, of being set apart, of being conformed in the image of Christ. That's a lifelong journey with no finish line but death. Even when I arrive at death, I still have not arrived in that I'm sinless. That's what He's saying. That's my hope.

Paul's Three Instructions for Faithful Waiting

So He says, "Finally, I want to talk to you about this." In essence, what we're going to look at this week and next—this week, verses one through eight, next week, verses nine, ten, eleven, and twelve—so kind of a part one, part two. He's going to write to them and to us, and He's going to tell us that we need to please God, that we need to control ourselves, and that we need to love one another.

So in this process of waiting faithfully, He said, "This is what I want you to do. I want you to please God and control yourself and love one another."

Paul's Gentle Approach

So he says, "And finally, here it is, brethren"—brothers, sisters, relationship here, spiritual DNA, not physical DNA. He said, "We request and exhort you." Request has with it the idea of a gentle, humble suggestion among friends. It's not a military command here. Exhort means to come alongside.

Remember what we saw two weeks ago when I taught? We were talking about authority. Back in chapter two, verse seven, he said, "And we proved to be gentle among you as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children." Or just as you know, "We exhorted you," verse eleven, "and implored each of you as a father would his own children."

So he said, "Listen, my relationship with you is like a parent with a child in the best sense of the word." He said, "Here's the perfect illustration: like a mother would nurture, like a father would encourage." And there's discipline associated with this.

A Lesson in Discipline

I got an idea—I'm not sure where this came from. I got the idea that for Thanksgiving, because we're getting to Thanksgiving, since Susan always made the turkey, Sarah's making the turkey. We decided to scale back a lot of stuff, and I was sitting there Wednesday morning. I got the idea I would make a cake. I'd bake a cake.

Now, there's a way. If you got that idea for the very first time, I know what you would do. You would buy a box cake. But I said, "You know what? I'm going to make this baby from scratch." So I Googled what kind of cake I'd like. My favorite kind of cake is a spice cake, but I knew if I made a spice cake, the girls would go, "We just made this for you." So I Googled chocolate cake. The first recipe that came up, I just printed out, and then I headed to the store.

So I went to the store Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I'm essentially the only guy there, and I learned a lot. There's a difference between baking soda and baking powder. So I got everything, went home, read the recipe, re-read the recipe, came up with a plan and a strategy. I learned I didn't know a lot of terms and I didn't have all the blending stuff I needed. It said bake twenty-five to thirty minutes, but at thirty minutes, it was still liquid. So I just baked it for forty-seven minutes. I took it—I didn't taste it, but the kids tasted it and said it was good.

So I'm at Fry's, and there is—I'm going to show this—the pulpit is the shopping basket with a kid in it. Here's the mom. The kid's screaming. The mom comes up, and here's what the mom does: "One, two..." and I can't handle it. I can't handle it.

Now for those of you that are new, let me illustrate to you how this should go: one pop. Now I know that's all the old people clapping right there, and all the young people going, "Oh, you've heard Him." You know what? I showed grace by counting to one. It should have been pop.

This is not about parenting, but I'll give you a basic principle: delayed obedience is disobedience. If you count to ten, they'll stop at nine. If you count to eight, they'll stop at seven. If you don't count at all, they'll obey.

Paul's Heart of a Parent

As a parent, I had a harder time with Sarah. Sarah's a lot like me. I had to be careful because when pushed, I would punish Sarah in anger rather than discipline her in love.

What Paul's saying is, as a loving, nurturing parent, "I want to encourage you. I want to be your cheerleader. That's what I'm doing. I want to exhort you in the Lord Jesus Christ." There's two possibilities there. He's either saying you are in—therefore a Christian, in the Lord—or this admonishment, encouragement, exhortation is in the Lord. Frankly, both of them work.

So he's saying, "Because you are a follower of Christ, I have this encouragement for you, and this would be Christ's encouragement to you. You received this instruction on how you ought to live." He said, "Here's what I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell you..."

The Reality of Repetition in Teaching

I want to tell you this stuff, and the things I'm going to tell you are things that in a way I've already said to you. In verse one, he says these are the things you received. Verse six, he said we also told you. Verse eleven, as we commanded you. This is not new stuff.

One of the issues I have is it feels like every Sunday—and if it feels like this for me, it probably really feels like it for you—it feels like I say the same thing over and over and over and over again. I find great encouragement here because Paul's really going, "We already talked about all this stuff."

When Samuel Johnson says, "I need to be reminded more than I need to be instructed," he's not teaching against teaching. He's just saying—I'll put it in my words—my problem isn't that I don't know enough. My problem is I don't do what I already know. So I've got to go back over this again and again and again and again. That's what he says.

Walking to Please God in Everyday Life

This is the stuff we already covered, and here's what it's about: it's how you ought to walk and how you please God. This idea of walk is a code of conduct, how we behave ourselves. How we behave ourselves in everyday, ordinary life.

I came across two quotes this week. One on holiness: "Holiness is the everyday business of every Christian. It evidences itself in the decisions we make and the things we do hour by hour, day by day." When we think holiness, we get this picture of a monk or some group that are away and cloistered. I don't think—I'll just give you my view—I don't think God would call you to live that way. To get away and to reflect and meditate and pray, I'm down with that. But God, what did He say to the Father? "As you sent me into the world, I'm sending them into the world." God's desire is not to remove you from the world, but to stick you into this world. Why? You're salt and light in the middle of it.

Here's another quote I love: "Any idiot can face a crisis. It's day to day living that wears you out." Almost everybody I know—I'm surprised how many people rise to the occasion. That's not the problem. It's the ordinariness.

The Challenge of Daily Faithfulness

I read a wonderful book on Richard Nixon a few years ago, written by a guy named Jonathan Atkin. He's a Brit, and he came in wanting to write this hate book of Nixon. By the end of it, he kind of admired him. But he was talking to Henry Kissinger about Nixon, and Kissinger said, "Nixon was amazing in crisis, but it was the day-to-day stuff that bogged him down." That's true for most.

This holiness is not just a mountaintop thing—it's every day. It's everything we do. It's how you react at school. It's how you take a test. It's how you work. It's how you make a presentation.

I had a wonderful discussion with a businessman—I've got a lot of time, so I'm talking to this guy this week. He's making what I don't know is accurate, but I think it is, a difference between generations. He's talking about all the fathers that are in business and all the sons, and he's talking about how the fathers seem so much more willing to compromise ethics than the sons. I don't know that that's true, but it seems to me to be generally true. He said, "This is the situation"—this is a young man—"I'm just observing these guys in business, and they're Christian guys, but when they get into business, it's like this faith just gets put aside." That's what he means by this holiness: how we live, how your work matters.

The Impossibility and Possibility of Pleasing God

And then to please God—literally, to strive to please God. I love the idea that I can know God and love God and please God, because it talks about relationship with God.

Hebrews chapter eleven, verse six says it's impossible to please God. So here's Paul now saying I've got to please God, and the author of Hebrews is saying that's impossible to please God without what? Faith. What do we mean by faith? We mean believing that God is who He said He was, and that we are who He said we are, and the world is as it is. That's that faith—that He's in control.

When I have that faith, it's that understanding that He'll never leave me. He'll never forsake me. He'll never abandon me or desert me or neglect me. That's Him. So what he's saying is this process, this walking—keep your finger right there and just turn to the left, page 637. It's Philippians chapter three.

Paul's Testimony: From Religion to Relationship

We're going to come right back to 1 Thessalonians obviously. Paul's writing in Philippians three, and he's sharing his spiritual pedigree. He's giving his resume, and if I could condense it in a phrase—I mean this not in a negative way—he was a super Jew. He did all the things, complied with family things that were beyond his control: circumcised on the eighth day, the whole thing that goes with it.

In the midst of that, he said all of that is done compared to "the surpassing knowledge"—it's verse eight, Philippians three eight—"the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." Verse nine: "being found in Him." Verse ten: "that I might know Him in the power of His resurrection." He said that's what life is all about for me, in terms of spiritual life and every other aspect. He said it's not about religion, it's not about ritual—it's about knowing Christ. Paul's term: pleasing God.

The Ongoing Pursuit

Now right after, in Philippians three, after Paul has this amazing declaration, he writes this, verse twelve: "Not that I have already obtained it, or have become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ." I want to pursue the very reason that Christ laid hold of me. "Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet, but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

That's the same thing that Paul's saying throughout all of his writings.

He'll use terms like striving, reaching. We saw it before, it's not breaking the tape, it's diving across this tape to please Him. And this whole spiritual thing, there's a sense in which I never arrive. God is continually exposing my sin to me. And the closer I get to Him, the more I see my sinfulness.

The more I begin to see God as He really is, the more I see the gap between Him and me. That's what Paul said. You can't microwave this. It takes time. That's what he's saying. And we strive for this.

So I talk a lot, teach a lot about contentment in terms of earthly things. I think God calls us to be content. But in a spiritual sense, I find satisfaction and fulfillment in Christ, but there's a sense in which spiritually I'm always a little bit discontent because the more I know Him is the more I love Him and the more I love Him, I want to know Him and that's just this cycle that I can never get completed. Now it's the Holy Spirit that does that in my life.

The Role of Works in Salvation

You're in Philippians, look at Philippians chapter two, verse 12: "So then my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation in fear and trembling, for it's God who's at work in you both to will and to work for His good pleasure."

I was one time having a discussion with a guy from the Catholic church and he was coming to this verse and he was challenging me and he was saying, "Listen, this says I'm supposed to work out my salvation." Well, what Paul's saying there is not I should work toward my salvation, what he's saying is my works and efforts should demonstrate the reality of my salvation. Can't earn that.

Again, we come back to this over and over. If there's one person here who's never heard this, it's worth going through again and yet for all of us, this is sweet, sweet sound in our ears: there's nothing I can do to make myself good enough for God. So in the discussion the other night, the guy was saying to me, "You know, I really think it's about do the best you can." You just ask the question: but what if it's not good enough? How good do I have to be? Do I have to be good all the time, how much?

No, my behavior, in terms of good works, is a result of my salvation. I came across a great Martin Luther quote this week. He said, "Good works are not important to God but they are to your neighbor." And what he was saying is they're not important to God in terms of my salvation but they demonstrate—that's what Paul's saying—they demonstrate to the whole world that in fact you're a new creature. So there's no person you hate like a hypocrite pretending to be something that they aren't. And Paul's not saying here be hypocritical. What Paul's saying here is because you're a Christian I want you to act this way.

God's Authority Behind the Call

And the authority that I have—let's go back to First Thessalonians—the authority I have in verse 2 to call you to this is "a commandment that we give you by the authority of the Lord." This is God's call to you, not mine, Paul says. So I would be massively uncomfortable being here on a Sunday calling you to this if it were my idea. It's not, it's God's. That's what he's saying.

And now he says all right, there it is, there's the principle. Here's the principle: I want to call you to the way you ought to walk, that's the way you should conduct yourself, the way you should live and that you should please God.

God's Will: Sanctification

And so you would immediately go, "Well what would that look like?" Verse 3: "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that is, you abstain from sexual immorality, that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion like the Gentiles who don't know God."

So we get it all the time: "What's the will of God?" And when somebody asks that question what they're typically asking is "I want to know God's will for my life. Where should I live? Where should I work? Where should I go to school?" So allow me now to just put that in a category. You know what we're saying is "God, I want to know your single desire for my life" in a noble way. And so I want to—Tom wants to say to you—I don't think that exists and I find great freedom in that.

Practical Wisdom for Marriage

"Who should I marry?" This is really—here you go and I'll give you some categories. "Wives submit to your husbands, husbands love your wives." Ladies, let me talk to you. If you're going to be a biblical wife you're going to submit to your husband. So I'll give you one on this. What I try—here's what I try to tell ladies when they ask: don't marry a guy dumber than you. And it may be hard for you—you may be really smart—but I'm telling you if you marry a guy dumber than you you're going to find it very difficult to submit to this guy, especially when he makes the inevitable stupid mistakes. So if you're going to have to submit to this guy, this needs to be a guy that you know cares for you, nurtures you, loves you.

Guys, husbands love your wives. I'll tell you what guys, you better pick somebody that's lovable. Get somebody that I could like and figure out I can love them later. But I wouldn't just pick out somebody that I have all of these feelings and emotion for—which I'm down with that, that's really good—but I've got to understand that—you know, I was married 33 years. It's a long time. I was thinking about this morning in the shower, it's like not long enough to get real credit but too long to be a short time. It's like 40 years or 50 years seems to be like a big thing, but we were married a long time.

I'm going to tell you a secret. She's not here so I don't have a problem telling this—she's not here to defend herself. She was not always lovable. And I'll tell you her secret about me: I didn't always make great decisions. So does God have this—I just think that all that does is create frustration and agony and angst for you. I've got to find that one soul mate. Please find somebody that you can submit to or love, somebody you like, somebody—

That's a good friend - somebody that you can come alongside with. Hopefully there's a little sexual excitement in there and everything goes with it. But to think there's this one person and you can now stop mid-sentence. I can tell you this: once you say "I do," you found the one God has for you. That's why I wouldn't go rushing into this.

Where should I go to college? Well, figure it out. Where should I live? Listen, the will of God that we talk about here is God's moral will.

God's Will is Clear When It Comes to Sexual Purity

I get a guy. He goes, "I want to meet with you." So we meet, and he's one of these guys talking a good game. I didn't like him. I didn't like the way he dressed. I didn't like his watch. I didn't like him. But I didn't know him, so I make fast decisions. I got to confess - God, I could be wrong, but I doubt it. But let's see.

So the more he talks, and he talks. I said, "Well tell me a little bit about you," which was his favorite subject. I started out of that. But he talked about his girlfriend in a way that just didn't sound right. It sounded odd. I said, "Well this chick, are you - do you live with her? Because it sounds like you live with her." He said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."

I said, "Oh, okay." He said, "Here's why I'm here. I want to know God's will for my life."

I said, "Okay, I can help you. Are you sexually active with this girl?" He said, "Yeah." I said, "Okay, this is real easy. God's good. Here, I'll read you a verse. 1 Thessalonians chapter 4, verse 3: 'This is the will of God, your sanctification: that is, you abstain from sexual immorality.' You need to move out from the chick." And he did.

Even then he didn't get it. He wanted to talk about, "Where's God want me? Do you think He has ministry for me? Do you think He wants..." I don't know. I don't know. I know what He wants. I don't know that, but I know this: He doesn't want you to be sexually active with this girl.

Now the ways he rationalized it - he's like 35. I've noticed this when I deal with Christians: it's like sexual purity is really important if you're 15, but less important if you're 25. It's like this part of the Bible's age-graded. No, that's not what He says. That's God's will.

Putting Sexual Sin in Proper Perspective

So let me go back to that homosexuality issue. When I deal with that topic, because it's so explosive - it's far more explosive than abortion - whenever I deal with it, I get far more reaction. Here's how, and I can't think of a more loving way to say this: the Bible condemns homosexuality. Let me finish the sentence: just like it does premarital sex, or sex if you're married with somebody other than your spouse, just like it does gossip and being drunk. So it's a sin. It's not the unpardonable sin, but it's a sin.

Is it a perversion? Well, let me put it in context. If you are here today and you are not married and you're having a heterosexual sexual relationship, that's perverted. Anything other than man-woman permanent monogamous marriage - anything other than that sexually - is a perversion of God's plan. See, that's really to me - that takes a little bit of the oomph out of it and puts it in its proper perspective.

God picks this out primarily because it's fairly universal. By universal I mean it was a problem they were having in that time. The Greco-Roman world was perhaps one of the most promiscuous cultures that have ever lived. So even though they at this point - Roman outlawed polygamy - these guys were having regular visitations to prostitutes. If they had slaves and they were women, they were having sex with them. This was much more than we have right now. We have more tools with internet and stuff.

The Cultural Challenge Then and Now

So here - get this, this is really good - so Paul's writing, and then these guys are going, "Wait a minute," because he's coming right at them. It's like that. It's right in the middle of the discussion the other night. The gentleman said to me, "Tom, it's 2011." Okay, here's what they're going: "Paul, it's 55!" That's exactly what they were saying. That's what they were. "That's who we are." Okay, so Paul comes right along.

Now His point - remember the context of this now - His point was not "it's my perspective." His point was "it's God's perspective."

Let me just keep staying on this because I think there is a lot of application. I graduated grade school in 1964, high school in 1968. Then I went to college, and that's that '70s, in the middle of all - there were no rules. I went - I think there were, I'm going to say like 200, I'm going to say 220 kids in my senior class.

Now I was not a geeky outside guy. I think I was kind of in the middle. I mean, if there was cool, we were kind of around it. I knew most of what was going on. I knew two kids that were sexually active. Now you wouldn't hear that now.

Here's what I'll explain to you why. It's really simple. One's very easy: a guy couldn't find a girl that would. That was one. Two, if a girl started sleeping with a guy or more than one, all of a sudden she was "that kind of girl." So there's a social stigma, and there was this very real possibility that she might - what? - get pregnant. This is big now.

When the Stigma Flipped

Now the stigma is - 2011 - the stigma is not if you do, but if you don't. Tim Tebow, how can you hate Tim Tebow? These guys hate Tim Tebow. I'm awake a lot at night. Like I go to sleep - my goal is to go to sleep before my landscaping lights come on. So I go to sleep. I only sleep like about 45 minutes, then I'm up. I listen all night to radio, sports radio.

These guys hate Tim Tebow. How can you hate Tim Tebow? "He doesn't even - oh, he pushes his religion." He doesn't even push his religion. He answers questions. You got guys in the NFL that have killed people, shot themselves, they're beating up their wives, and you hate Tim Tebow?

So the stigma now is not if you do it, it's if you don't. And then medicine comes along and gives you the pill. So if your reasons for not participating in premarital sex were social or medical, they're solved. That's why I've never in

Embracing God's Standards

When I'm dealing with my kids, I don't try to tell them what I think. I go, "Hey, here's the deal. Here's what God says." Whatever the issue is, here's what God says. Because I know He's not going to change His mind or get new evidence.

That's exactly what they're dealing with in verse 5. Paul's saying you can't do this because this is how you ought to live. You should abstain from this. He says don't live in this idea of lustful passions. It's literally just feelings that are out of control. There needs to be a restraint. You're not like a dog that just gets excited with every female he sees.

Sexual immorality is anything other than monogamous heterosexual sex within marriage—that's a perversion according to how God says it. Some of you were ready to beat up a bunch of people when you came in and just got tossed under the bus with it, didn't you?

The Power of Self-Control

Don't live like the Gentiles. In other words, he said don't live like somebody who doesn't know Christ. Lustful means out-of-control passions. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and what? Self-control. That's his whole point.

You don't have to live like a dog anymore. You're not just a little boy who can't say no. You have power to resist. That's not to say, by the way, that it isn't a struggle. That's not to say that these things—whether it's sexual, maybe it's money, whatever—you put your favorite sin in there, I don't care. What he's saying is I'm going to have this power through the Holy Spirit to begin to engage in this battle. There may even be times when I fail, but I go back and I start over again.

Colossians 3:2 says I set my mind on the things above. I begin to look, and it's very hard in the world you're in. All of a sudden, you've got things on TV or things on the internet or things in the movies or discussions or jokes or conversations or the way people are dressed. Whatever they are, I have to get control. All of that sin starts in my head. That's where I try to stop it really fast—don't let your mind go there. That's what I tell myself over and over again.

The person who doesn't know Christ isn't restrained, nor would you expect them to be, because they don't have the power in them that you have in you.

God's Purpose: Sanctification

Verse 7: "For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but for sanctification." What's God's purpose in your life? Ultimately, God's purpose is that you would be sanctified. That is, set apart from sin to live a holy life for Him—sexually and every other way—that you'd tell the truth.

If you're somebody who's a reader and you fancy yourself as a student, you should go home and Google the name Thomas Chalmers, C-H-A-L-M-E-R-S. Look up "The Expulsive Power of Affection." What he's saying is it's not enough to stop. Here's what Paul's saying: here's how I want you to walk, and so there are some things I'm going to restrain myself from, but I replace them with this idea of love of God.

If I just take something away, I create a vacuum. It has to be replaced with something. Susan and I were grandparenting the kids. We're down with Yale and Braden, and Braden's playing with something. I kept saying, "Stop it, stop it, stop it." It doesn't help him, it doesn't help me, it doesn't help the situation. So what Susan would do is walk over, take away whatever he was playing with, and give him something that she wanted him to play with.

The Christian life is not just about abstaining. It's not just abstain from sexual immorality, but replace it with a passion and love for God and for Christ.

Rejecting God, Not Man

Let's look at the last verse. "So he who rejects this"—if you're sitting here today, let's personalize it, and you're rejecting this teaching—"it's not that you are rejecting man. You're not rejecting Paul or me. You're rejecting God who gives His Holy Spirit to you." Paul said the authority isn't mine; it's from God. It's not just me.

I'm teaching a series right now in Priority Living called "Person to Person." It's about interpersonal relationships from Ephesians chapter 4, verses 29-32. It's about mastering your mouth—that was a hard one—mastering your mouth, taming your temper, forgiveness. Ephesians chapter 4, verse 30, says this: "Do not grieve the Spirit of God with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption." So He said you've been sealed—that's that idea of the security of my salvation.

How do I grieve the Spirit of God? He gives it to you right there in verse 8 before us. It's to reject. Let me give you two passages: Psalm 78, verses 40-41, and Isaiah 63, verses 9-10. It's the same thing dealing with the nation of Israel. He says in Psalm 78 they rebelled against Him in the desert and grieved Him. In Isaiah 63:10, they rebelled and they grieved the Holy Spirit of God.

Understanding Rebellion

How do I grieve God? It's the very thing Paul's talking about here in 1 Thessalonians 4. I reject His teaching. I rebel against Him.

This was a big thing for me, so if it was big for me, I hope it is for you. When I talk about rebellion, here's the definition: to reject God's direct or delegated divine authority. When I think of rebellion, I think of 1 Thessalonians chapter 4, verse 3. God says abstain from it and I don't do it. That's God's direct divine authority.

But God also has His delegated authority. Let me read this to you. Romans 13, verse 1: "Every person should be in subjection to his governing authorities." So He said submit to the government. "For there's no authority except..."

from God and those which exist are established by God. Therefore, whoever resists authority is opposed to the ordinance of God." Here's what he says. When I disobey the government over me, I've disobeyed God. So I get the first Thessalonians one. See that? That direct authority.

I'll give you a great example. Every time we have a wedding, funeral, whatever, I heard it on Susan's memorial service. "Why don't you guys get a big sign out front? Why don't you get a bigger sign so we can find this place?" Here's why. That's the biggest sign the town of Gilbert will let us have. Now listen, and I mean this, I'm serious. If we had a bigger sign than that out there right now, we would be grieving the Holy Spirit and rebelling against God. Because they gave us the governance in the town of Gilbert.

Well, everybody then wants to go, "Well, what if you were in Nazi Germany?" Well, you know what? Check your GPS, you aren't. And so I'll let you go work that out some other time. But that's it, that's what it says. How do I grieve God's Spirit when I reject that delegated authority but I reject that direct authority? And that's what Paul's telling us here.

Living Holy Lives That Please God

Paul's telling us in 1 Thessalonians chapter four, those first eight verses that we looked at, he's telling us that God's called us to live holy lives. That how we live matters. That there should be distinctiveness about the way we live.

Now there's a danger in this. The danger is I become very legalistic. All of a sudden, it becomes all about rules. This is not about rules. He's not telling me to live this way so I will gain acceptance with God. He's saying because I've been accepted by God, I should live this way.

To Be Continued

Now, if this were a video, right now it would go, and it would say, "to be continued." Next week, we pick up the second part of that. So we'll do a little summary and then get into verses nine, 10, 11, and 12 next week.

Father, thank You that You love us and care for us. God, we pray and confess that there are times when we grieve Your Spirit and the way we do it is very simply to reject the things that You've given us, direct, delegated. God, I pray that for all of us we read these words and listen to this teaching. It challenges us. God, I pray that You would draw us closer and closer to You every day. We pray that in Christ's name, amen.